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I went to the cinema for the viewing of my old AV classmates, I order a coffee, but this guy working there wants me to play a game of pretend with his candyfloss machine. I tell him it's a very rare vinyl player I bought from the Warp Records Bandcamp. The coffee machine was broken and he refused to give me coffee. As this was happening, I was actually drinking a cup of coffee to go from the train station, but I realise that right at that moment.

This kid called Chris, who is allegedly the ex of my classmate, tells me how cool I am. I later see him in the room during the viewing. We're watching films from the class. Even mine apparently as it it were the community college internship presentations all over again. When my film started playing, Chris walks to open the window that blocks the CRT my video was playing on. Chris sits in the bleachers loudly talking about how he just noticed he has 30k on his bank account. His ex tells him to shut up, he then flashes his phone at us showing us his savings account called "interesting facts" with even more money.

In my video, I talk about festivals I apparently have been to. I mention some like Burning Man, and I keep hearing cheering people in the background.

A kid entered my room and placed a box of tissues with a printed NFT token on my bookshelf, he goes downstairs where he gets picked up by his mom and dad, I asked them if they broke into my house and they just laugh and say no before they leave. I ask Ross Geller from Friends, who was reading the newspaper on my couch, if he noticed someone breaking in and he also laughed saying no.

That's when I woke up. That actually happened at this exact moment and felt so real that I'm afraid to sleep now.

5th November 2021

Dream:

Later bit, disjointed. JC discovered he's suffering from macaquism (made-up dream thing?) after he was "enlightened", in his words, about my condition. Then, we get to start on drawing class, it's like at college/high school but different room and layout.

Earlier. In a city, L? Cobbled and semi-narrow pavements. I'm going to the bank. There's been some disaster and the building across the way from the bank looks like it's partly exploded and I want to take photos. It's night time and I fiddle on with my camera and the poor lighting. People are gathered nearby and I sort of make my way through and past them, having apparently forgotten my goal. I go far enough to find firefighters and such who are now off duty.

The sky/light is getting brighter? Not as dark now, early day. There's some kind of secondary blast and it makes me jump a little. At the end of the way there are some school kids fighting amongst themselves, blaming each other for something. I turn back after I get a small hit of flying vomit from the kids, although I did not have line of sight to what was actually going on. I go past the bank again now, noticing that it has been damaged too. At this point I remember about wanting to go to the bank but realise I can't so I carry on. I have thoughts about my family, maybe if they're wondering about what's taking me so long.

At one point, there's some villain. I get into a situation where I'm now inside the bank building and I get herded around with other people, wrong place wrong time. I mostly find all of this to be annoying more than anything else. We're made to get off the building by something like a fire escape stair but it doesn't go down far enough. A young woman just jumps down and injures herself, knocked out. I understand that would be foolish to repeat and so instead I climb down more carefully by holding the railings and effectively dropping a much shorter distance, and safely.

Then something about a hero being needed (some narration?), and sure enough a single one answers the call. It's a middle-aged man, not confident in his role as a hero. He doesn't trust that his devices will be enough. (Intrusion, partly related to my thoughts over the years about Batman) Equally, I am not very confident in this hero's ability myself. He seems willing to try, regardless.

(Recall gap?)

Some bit later on, sort of at the old home. Something in the balcony of my old room. There are weird bugs, leaf bugs, I think I tell dad. And other weird black skittering centipede things, but kind of fat. They are having a war of some kind between some spiders, big and small. I think to myself that the only answer to this will be mass destruction. I think of what chemical would both be at hand and also appropriate in terms of effectiveness.

Notes:

- I remember carrying my replica gladius around in the dream, for a large portion of it.

- The last bit with the bugs fighting the arachnids at first glance seems to relate to thoughts that more developed species or cultures may have at any point about less developed ones, say if some highly advanced species visited us or vice versa. Like many other things though, I am noticing that this is a pattern (of thought in this case) that is abstract and can be applied in a multitude of different but similar contexts; in a sense relating to concepts of macrocosmos vs. microcosmos and how they mirror each other.

- Although I didn't make note of it in my initial notes, I get the impression I was lucid for some of this dream, but I don't recall thinking of this as a lucid on waking. There were certain pre-lucid elements and it may have just been a case of higher awareness closer to the required threshold for lucidity.

- I don't know what the supposed illness JC had might have been in terms of symptoms, as I didn't notice anything specifically. Thematically, it all seemed to be a bit about the ability for someone else to understand the difficulties of some illnesses based on having their own experiences with an illness.

- Despite my low level of confidence in him and his own low level, the middle-aged hero persisted in his role. Heroism is not necessarily about bravery but sometimes maybe about the lack of freedom of choice? Plus, the role of a hero is not necessarily easy or by choice anyway? Many "heroes" the world have seen have been posthumously awarded the honour and in life were often not recognised. This dream as a whole had more themes about death (and life) than I realised or noticed at first: My friend's illness, implied to be lifelong; the exploded building with a subsequent explosion; the woman who jumped off trying to get away, knocking herself out; the hero who may face his doom, seemingly left with no choice; the bugs fighting their own wars, ignorant to a higher intelligence intent on destroying them all.
-- I feel that in the last few months I've had a lot of dreams relating to death and the state of post-death, sometimes very much in a "what if" way, all of it seemingly relating to my questions to myself about legacy (framed as: "should I die today, then...?").

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am taking pics and for the first time I got lucid from the always obvious dream cue that I can never take a photo. I look around and I am in a city, surrounded by lots of people. I start flying over them. I want to know if any of them is aware we are dreaming, so I tease them, but they all act like zombies who couldn't care less of someone flying, so just DCs with no reaction. I lose lucidity.

In my teens, walking down the street with Big Bad Wolf, from school to home. We are adting but in secret. He wants to touch me badly, but our school colleagues are nearby and we don't want them to know. Anyway, he stops like pretending to look at something and whispers that he can't take it anymore. I touch his arm soflty and say "wait". Then he goes past me, inside a gate to some guys' farm, who sells fruits and goes buy something to take home, and use that time to clear his head. One of my female colleagues approaches me and with a smirk says "So, I can see love is in the air". I deny, embarassed, but she doesn't buy it.
I keep going all alone. It's getting dark when I arrive at the main road leading home. I spot a couple rats running away and I follow them. They stop at some trash bags lying on the ground, looking for food. They find nothing but tissue and cardboard and start chewing on it. I try to stop them, worried about their health. Then I look for food in my bag, find a couple pieces of bread and give it to them.
Finally at home, but not living with my parents. I am in the apartment I lived in near my mother some years ago. I recognize the kitchen, although it is like 3 times its real size and looks more like a supermarket. There are really long shelves on the wall with lots of food. I go check what's expiring, so I cook something out of it and find lots of weird foods I would never buy. Then my mom comesfor a visit and sees some cookies and powdered milk I selected and put on the table and she says she'll bake me a cake with it. Then I am looking for the trash cans and other itens in the kitchen and find a bursted water pipe leaking to the trash cans and all the trash flowing to the floor.

30th October 2021

Scraps (DFLN):

Game-like world, lots of yellow sulphur colours. Some kind of secret level with giant spiders. I don't feel afraid but possibly a little anxious because of the overall situation; I feel pressured to get to the bottom quickly, there may be a timer or score. The spiders look like alternate versions of regular garden spiders (orb weavers, I think).

Some other bit, T is at a computer playing a game and I stab him from behind at the top of his back with two black steel arrows and then I quickly pull them back out. He doesn't seem to be in pain and has very little reaction to this. I'm doing this for his own good, not to kill him. I put pressure over the bleeding. This seems to take place at some kind of open but sheltered guard tower, in a castle or something?

Possibly still from that bit, some kind of trade hub town. It's blown up by a nuke thing at one point, and using time travel I find out it was bound to happen at 7PM. I find out circumstances are different from what I had expected, something about an army general.

24th October 2021

Scraps: Something about a planet and an RTS-like view. Before that, with a group of people.


27th October 2021

Scraps: I'm in a supermarket or such like and I am talking to someone about Guinness (the drink).


28th October 2021

Some in-line bracketed notes.

Fragment:

I'm outside, a green area, possibly a field in a rural area, sunny, bright, clear. (The location is realistic but the player characters are mostly as in-game, maybe perceived as slightly more realistic) There's a fairly large group of Horde players staging something over by slightly hilly corner of the field. I have an NPC forsaken rogue bodyguard, being a rogue myself, seeing in the usual third-person view.

The AI for my bodyguard isn't especially clever, but when I come out of stealth the NPC does support me a fair bit in a logical way. Most of the Horde players don't react to my ambushes; I repeatedly target priests and mages, focusing each one down. Most of my targets are forsaken themselves and are wearing T1 gear. I employ the usual rogue tactics, stealth, ambush, cloak of shadows, vanish. During the dream, I presume part of the reason they don't get at me in full force is some shock or surprise factor, with some awareness that their collective looked a bit too passive for that to be the reason. (Possibly an intrusion from some classic videos I remember from way back when, where people sometimes ignored fights or were AFK standing around etc.)

The last target is an enemy rogue who I have a small chase with and then end up using cheap shot and stun locking him to death in the dark cover of some bushes. (Think he was forsaken too)

An earlier bit; something in space. It's a mix of Master of Orion II and other space games which are 3D. Something about starting a new game and not being able to pick previous locations in the galaxy. I remember being able to see one of my previous ships or avatars travelling through space, in a distant system while in some kind of strategy view.

20th October 2021

Some in-line bracketed notes. Was too tired to properly write down initial notes on recall.

Fragment:

Growing female dream character, an NPC of some kind. She's white, her hair is not black but it's dark and tied back. I have to watch over her for a while to make sure I get points correctly for some reason. She is or gets to about three or four times my size. We're in water, or floating in the air?

Before that, there was more going on in the same area, something about a dream thing? (Intrusion from "Dream Academy" related PM by MoonageDaydream, I really regretted not being able to hold on to this part of recall.)

Even earlier, something about Ed Edd 'n Eddy (the cartoon); I'm talking to someone but seeing/watching the cartoon too? I mention that some of my interest in growth themes probably comes from watching cartoons like this. Some appropriately themed scene plays out in the cartoon, involving Edd mostly, I think. (I remember on waking considering how he was often a thematically unwilling victim, even in a case like this that might be "empowering").

Last night I dreamed I was in NBC's "The Office" TV show. It was pretty cool, I saw everyone's desk and most of the employees. I remember everyone was making fun of Jim and Pam, but I'm not sure why. I vividly remember Kevin's face the most.

I remember having a beard. Like a goatee but with the sideburns. Very random.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With a male friend and following a female friend. We lose her when she goes around a corner and a bunch of other people get in the way. Something is going on because people are acting strange. We are at my home village and we decide to go inside a bakery located in its main square. There is some kind of celebration going on inside, supposedly regarding New Year's, but we are past that day. And anyway, they are playing some Xmas songs and the whole thing makes no sense. Still, I join in for fun. The party is also themed like the '40s and the Xmas music is only from that era. I notice my teen crush Tiago sitting there on a table with some other guy and I notice he is trying to ignore me but very much saw me. I look hot and I am dressed in a sexy mini skirt and I decide to taunt him a bit. I keep pretending I didn't see him and start dancing with others. But he also keeps ignoring me, so I get bored. Then I check the cakes on the counter and I am desperate to have a slice of a couple of them. But the bakery owner says they aren't selling slices directly. I have to buy a raffle ticket and I get whatever cake comes up in the ticket, if any. But lots of the cakes have chocolate amd I say I specifically need those without it. The owner keeps refusing and then says she can sell me directly but only the whole cake to take out. I tell her ok, whatever it takes and ask the price of a couple of them. I am expecting it to be pricey, but affordable. I have maybe 20-30€ in my wallet. But she says it's a 100€. I say that's insane and then ask how many cakes is she packing on that box and how much for just one and she keeps saying it is 100 for each. I repeat that's insane. She explains it is only today because of the special event and she is doing this as a special favor to me. I pass. I head to the door and see some guy throwing a hand grenade or homemade bomb towards the window to the right of the door. I yell for people to duck and I run to the opposite side. It blows and breaks the window. Some guy pulls me to a storage room on the back and i hope there is a backdoor to exit. There is, but when I open it, I see the back leads to empty lots and some suspicious pick ups are driving like nuts in the roads between the lots and heading our way. A guy jumps off one the trucks and walks with another grenade in his hand towards us. I try to barricade, but there are only soft materials. So I run to the washroom and try tp escape through the window. But it opens to some kind of enclosed backyard whith the ground two floors below. So I have to do some climbing and holding on to the ledges of windows and go around the walls that make a square around the yard, until I find another open window. That one leads directly to the lobby of a train station remotely similar to the station of Santa Apolónia in Lisbon. There are people visibly in shock running inside for the trains and some weird tall people in blue waterproof coats seem to be trying to control them. They start closing some interior doors to the platforms to stop people from going in. I make a run for it and manage to get inside. Not without one of these blue dressed women grabbing me. They are weird. She doesn't hurt me and she seems unable to restrain me seriously. She is just passively agressively asking me to leave. And I refuse and ask who they are. She says they are just clones that here to help. I notice how she looks like Fernanda. I push her and she calls for backup of a male. They both surround me and try to make me go back but I grab their arms and push them around and notice that they don't react with harmful strenghth, so I decide to push them harder and run for it, which works. They lose interest and try to stop other people. I go to the ticket booth and ask for a ticket out of the city. The lady says there is no need for ticket, they are evacuating all who want to. They themselves seem to be packing to leave. So I go to the platforms and try to look for the right train but the info on the boards is all messed up and impossible to know. So two guys point me to a tunnel and say we gotta follow it because the trains have all left already. So I go with them. But at some point a train comes out of nowhere speeding towards us and we need to jump to the other tracks to escape it. Strange thing is that it's being pulled by a human like a horse pulling a carriage. Then another train is coming from the opposite way on the other track and we have to jump again. Same thing, pulled by a human. It's surreal. Then the guys decide to disappear up a vertical tunnel over our heads, but I try to follow them and can't, it is too tight and with rough edges where I get stuck uncomfortably. I feel claustrophobic and give up. Instead I decide to continue following a larger tunnel that bifurcates from the one with the trains we were in.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


I am watching a Steven Seagal action movie with Riverstone and it has sex scenes that are basically porn and I feel a bit uncomfortable. The porn turns violent, which makes it worse. When a villain is caught, he is threathened with revenge sodomy and then some lady has a ganga bang on a pool and she is turned upside down on the water and is unable to breathe. The movie is also quite immersive and at some point I am actually in it. I am some business man that is the main target of some terrorists/ gang. They attack me in the lobby of a building and I run for dear life to an elevator and almost get killed by a rain of fire. But I manage to slam myself against the wall on the right side of the doors and just get a few non-lethal shots while the door closes in.
I am not enjoying this dream at all, so I suddenly change scenario. I get out of the elevator as myself and the building outside is some kind of pavillion under preparation or renovation for some event. There are ladders and plastics all over. I spot Jaime sitting on a ladder. I come to him and say "Hi, I know you." He seems puzzled, like he sort of recognizes me, but can't really remember from where and when. I tell him my name and he gives me a big smile. Says that I look a bit different and he wouldn't recognize me if I didn't identify, but of course he remembers me. He says he missed me so much when we went to different schools and lost each other contact. Says he loved me and it was really tough for him. I am happy that he says it and I confess it was mutual. He comes down the ladder and invites me for a walk. There is some market outside the pavillion. We talk about this and that, we are so happy to be together again. Then we stop at some lady selling homemade belgian waffle cookies. They look yummy, but are 1,5€ each and I tell her it is too expensive. I understand anything homemade and artisanal is more expensive, but think that is excessive. But Jaime buys 2 cookies and I guess one is for me.

At home, in Alhandra. I'm in my old childhood bedroom, with my present day cats. There is another cat on the balcony of the room next door and it is peaking through my window, barely stable on its ledge. I recognize it as my neighbor Carla's cat (although she never had one in RL). A chubby turtle cat with a mutation that gave her four ears. I wanna be sure she is safe and wanna show Riverstone the mutation, so I open the window and allow her to come in. She is friendly but not a big fan of being held. So I let her walk around and my 3 cats seem to be ok with her. But soon after Buddha goes nuts and mounts her, despite him being neutered. I think she must have really strong pheromones. Luckily he can't really do anything but he is annoying her a lot. So she finally let's me pick her up and I go to the kitchen with her in my arms to show her to Riverstone. I then decide to take her back to Carla. My father joins in, saying he also has stuff to take to her. I notice he his just wearing a shirt and underwear and I insist he should get some pants, but he refuses. He has a bag with a small vase with a plant and a couple of herb stacks. He comes with me down the building staircases, but then wonders "Shouldn't you put on some shoes instead of coming with your slippers?" and I say she lives just a couple floors below, why would I bother? And he replies "But didn't she move to the single house of her grandmother down the street?" And I remember she indeed moved to her grandma's house. But then I also wonder if he knows that, why would he go on the street with no pants on? Anyway, we reach the second floor and the apartment on the right side of the hallway has the door open and I hear her voice inside. I don't question anymore where she lives. We go inside and she is having a party with friends. I think it's her birthday. She is surprised that I have her cat and then looks a bit uncomfortable with my dad and his gifts. I look at the supposed herb stacks he brought to her and I see only grasses and yellow oxalis with no nutritional or medicinal value and I wonder what's his thinking.

I was in my kitchen and I walk to the patio in the backyard. I see agent Dwight Harris and Adriana La Cerva. I'm not sure why, but agent Harris was going to whack Adriana. She escaped and Harris started shooting behind her but missed, then I was running around the neighborhood. Quite a weird dream.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Before going to sleep I had been thinking about my very first dreams I recall having. One of them was being chased by a bull inside my kindergarten, derived from one traumatic day in which a bull was on the lose in the area and we were warned to stay safe indoors and all the kids ran in panic inside.

So I am dreaming that I am at some big palace building, maybe a museum, maybe a university, not sure, but some kind of event is taking place and lots of people are getting ready for something. For some reason, a huge, almost supernatural bull, is chasing me and gets lost inside this building. I first run upwards some stairs on a corner of the building and on the top floor, I go to another corner of the building (it's main area seems to be quadrangular) to descend through the staircase on this side. But the bull is probably causing damages in some crowded area, because lots of people come running my way and hide in some hall to my left. I see the stairs are also full of people going up and down, apparently not knowing from where the danger comes from and I decide to jump into some shaft that exists in the middle of some smaller staircase, maybe a service staircase. At its bottom, there is a classic statue of a woman, wrapped in ropes to be pulled up. I almost crash into it. I escape to some terrace through a window, which is not at ground level, but is close enough. I spot my dog Hachi on the street jumping nervously, looking around how to get to me. I jump from the terrace to a garden below, but the open space makes me nervous because the bull can come crashing out of one of the doors of the building at any moment and cut my path. I manage to reach the gates and alongside other people, we move to an apparently safe place, by walking on some ledges on the side of some buildings, connected by bridges, over a canal that runs through the middle of them. Most weirdly, is that at the bottom of the canal are lots and lots of coffins. Apparently it is a tradition here not to bury the dead, but to lay their caskets on the canal. I wonder how the hell the water isn't putrid and stinky.

So I’ve been trying to get a lot more serious about LDing for this year. I very much need to experience other worlds right now. And it’s somewhat worked; I’ve had very brief moments of lucidity and even one OBE in the past few days.

Last night was pretty lame though. I only remember one non-lucid dream and that’s it. I was picking up something in a dark garage, and I felt like something bit me. Well, I looked at my hand and found a smallish spider actively biting me. I’m an arachnophobe so I freaked out. I killed it while it was biting me. It left a bloody circular mark on my finger, and for some reason it was purple.

I woke up shortly after that. I checked my finger and whew, no bite lol. It’s still a bit frustrating though; my brain felt so tired yesterday that my dreams were at a pretty low level of awareness. Which is definitely why I wasn’t conscious enough to do a reality check as planned.

2 dreams with Jamie in them. Couldn't remember what either one was about. Guess she's coming back? (to the dreams anyways.)

Driving

I was in my car and in the backseat, It was driving with no steering and going down a hill. I triend to jump in the front seat but it was really hard. I was in the front seat eventually but the car was already going off a cliff... Suddnely I was on the road again with no damage WTF?

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Watching a new Matrix movie and Neo finds glitches in the matrix and he his committed or arrested for it. He escapes by fooling some guard. Then bad dudes from a corporation come looking for him and torture the guard, accusing him of helping Neo. Meanwhile Neo finds that there are several Neos in this matrix. He goes to a barber who looks like a younger self and the customer he is shaving, also looks like a young and slightly different Neo. Yet they don't realize they are identical and think he is insane. When he insists that they are all versions of the same person, they become violent and the barber throws knives at him. Then I have an epifany and say to Riverstone, whi is sitting by my side, that we are also in a simulation, being deceived that we are watching a film. I say that I am actually Neo and I do become him in that fight with his clones and I fly away from there. I go look for people I know, but everything seems to be changing randomly and people I know become someone else or have different lives and don't know me anymore. I enter a house of supposed friends and there is a middle aged couple there. Their cat recognizes me, but they don't. Yet they react calmly to my presence and offer me dinner with them and ask me to explain in detail who I am and what I am looking for. I tell them I have partial amnesia and know my name and my work, but don't know anything beyond that or where I live and was certain that some of my friends lived here. They are very understanding but offer no answers to my questions. Then some girl comes at the door claiming to be my sister and that I am dangerously deluded and she needs to take me with her. I escape and get lost in the small town we are in. Then there is either a theme fair from the 30s going on or I also travelled back in time, because it all looks from that era. When I interact with people, they get startled because I dress funny and I say weird things and clearly don't belong there. Once again they think I am insane and try to arrest me. The only way to escape is flying away, but I can't fly high for some reason and keep being pulled down by them. I scream from the top of my lungs and my thunderous voice numbs everybody around for a while. I then run away on foot. Meanwhile, the corporation guys are back in their HQ debating how Neo is destabilizing the simulations, but they think they are outside of it. Until strange things start to happen and they start realize they themselves are not from the real world but simulated matrix controllers as there is a matrix within a matrix within a matrix. As I try to walk discreetly through the town, I hear some familiar music that attracts me to a place where old ladies do arts and crafts and I find my mom there. I approach her to try to see if she knows me. She doesn't, but she invites me in. The place was a cozy llittle studio which becomes claustrophobic as the old ladies surround me with curiosity and some keep bringing in boxes and boxes of stuff that block the entrance and narrow down the space available.