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I'm in a cave. It's a tight fit and I'm searching for all the pieces to a puzzle. I see tons of pieces scattered all over the cave floor and I start to gather them. Suddenly I hear noises and look up towards the entrance. I see a group of dinosaur-like monsters. They are huge and they can talk. I back up further into the cave and try to hide behind a column of rock. They pass by slowly and I hear them talking about finding the puzzle pieces as well. Before they can all pass one of them sees me and immediately comes after me. I take off running. I make it to the edge of a cliff. There's a waterfall and huge river. I turn back around and the group of monsters is close to me. One by one they throw themselves at me. I'm scared but each time they come at me I reach out my hand and they are defeated. They either disappear or become an inanimate object. And each time it happens I become more and more confident by my hidden power. Once I defeat them all, I look at the river and notice a boy in a spider-man mask floating closer to me. He's about to go over the waterfall. I jump into the water and catch him. He has a giant floating device stuck to his feet that's keeping him from standing upright. So i grab his waist and take off the device. I notice it's also attached to his pants so I take those off as well which leaves him completely naked from the waist down. He stands up and I take off the mask. He smiles at me and thanks me. I smile back and place my hand on his lower back. He's taller than me. He has dark skin and wavy black hair. He's maybe 15 or sixteen. I stare at him and I know that he is mine and that I'm meant to protect him and love him. He's precious to me somehow. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tightly.

Morning of August 24, 2017. Thursday.



My dream begins with the most common form of dream state induction; the presence of water, in this case, an unknown river. (This is based on circadian biology and the glymphatic system, whereby at least one dream per night for over fifty years has featured water, not including the numerous water-based hypnagogic dream sequences, which number in the hundreds each sleeping period.)

I am standing and looking out over this unfamiliar river in seemingly late morning. There is a wooden bridge present, but it does not go all the way across the river. A helicopter flies in from my right and drops off a young version of my wife Zsuzsanna. My dream self is not fully aware of her identity, though I am uncertain of my dream self’s implied age. Zsuzsanna is on the outside of the two-tiered wooden railing, on my right and facing to the left in profile, appearing to do some work on it by tightening the bolts. I think about helping, but I am unsure how to get to where she presently is, as the walkway now seems fully underwater. This seems somewhat unusual, as I vaguely puzzle over why a railing would be fixed when the walkway itself is underwater. Another section of the bridge, which includes a ladder, is also submerged.

Time passes, and Dean Norris, the actor, appears. I do not see him as a celebrity but as a bystander, though possibly associated with the repair of the bridge.

Somehow, though this would certainly not be possible in real life (or even consciously resolvable in method), I lift a large section of the walkway up from the water, the farthest edge towards me, while I am still standing on the riverbank, though squatting slightly at one point. It seems more like a square platform constructed of small logs, the orientation of the logs parallel to the river bank.

An alligator, its head oriented opposite from the riverbank, surprises me by swimming out from under where the section was (yet there is a vague awareness of instinctual dream control suggesting that I created the alligator, and this is further evidenced by the alligator not being perceived as a danger or being the coalescence-based waking prompt). I am wary at first, but it does not attack or show much aggression. Instead, it swims back down under the surface. I tell Dean that there are other alligators in the river, though farther away from where we are. He does not comment.

“My father built this bridge,” I say to him, somewhat absentmindedly.

“Your dad built this bridge?” he replies without emotion.

“…and he built a lot of utility buildings,” I add.

I rethink what I had just said. Although I know that my father built a lot of park utility buildings, bathrooms, and rest stop shelters, I am unsure if he was involved in the building of this bridge as it was first constructed and that he may have only worked on it years after it was built. I consider that he may have been a part of a team of builders, but I then consider if the bridge had first been built in the 1800s (though I really have no knowledge of when it was built). If so, I consider if Dean was puzzled by my comment, but we do not talk much after this. I consider if Dean will bring in men in speedboats to cull the alligators, but this is not certain.

---

Ordinarily, a bridge symbolizes the progression from dreaming to waking (as well as possibly representing the biological construction of a new memory or neural pathway) though sometimes seemingly represents a potentially prescient timeline. There seem to be two preconscious factors here (Dean and the alligator), both atypically passive (though this may be due to instinctual dream control). However, the dynamics are a bit curious, as Dean may be coalesced into the interconsciousness.

Submerged walkways are otherwise common in my dreams (and have been since early childhood) as a natural result of circadian biology and water symbolizing the dynamics of sleep in real time. A helicopter is a common symbol in my dreams that is linked to Merkaba energies and gamma brain waves in a similar way as a tornado often is, though it typically relates to “return flight” waking symbolism (though here it may relate to Zsuzsanna being in the waking stage while I remain asleep, seemingly validated by her arriving by helicopter, being on the outside of the railing and tightening it - becoming more aware in her emergent consciousness and outside of my ephemeral dream self incarnation).

I am not certain as to why the preconscious so often appears as a celebrity (sometimes recognized as themselves, sometimes recognized only as a fictional character they have played, sometimes as an ordinary person with no celebrity association as in this dream - there seems to be no determining factor as to why this is other than concurrent threads of available memory). It may be due to the transpersonal element or how the preconscious is completely different from the conscious self identity (though this seems deliberate to subliminally begin to initiate dream state realization in how neither the dream self nor conscious self is anything at all like the preconscious - which often creates conflict or emotional augmentation of enough energy to trigger waking).

---

Okay, last night has some hazy memories. I've also had a decent amount of dream recall throughout the week, and wrote it in my paper journal but forgot to get my notes on here. Right now, due to time constraints, I'm just going to write last night's.

Dream Fragment 1: I'm sitting next to Rihanna inside of a room, and Wild Thoughts is playing in the background. I talk to her, but I don't remember what about.

Dream 2: My brother and I are traveling back from some event late at night. We are walking in the wilderness with a little bit of civilization around us -- like the occasional building or large home here and there. Eventually, we come to a road, and we see the headlights of a car. I cross quickly, but my brother doesn't chance it. For some reason, I run back to him just before the car whizzes by. Then, after the car passes, we cross and see my uncle. There are boulders, plants, and a river. A pretty lady in a blue dress (I think? or blouse?) is running away from him. No idea why. She was scared of him for some reason.

Hallucination: Despite not being sleep paralyzed, a few seconds after awakening this morning, I was sitting in bed and it was still kinda dark. I saw a shadowy figure. She looked female with a plain red and white dress, but I couldn't tell for sure. I practically jumped out of my skin until I realized it was just a hallucination since I had just woken up. Still weird though because I wasn't paralyzed at all. Then she vanished. In retrospect, it was really cool!

IRL, school starts up again in a few weeks. This is going to be an intense semester as usual. Nonetheless, I'm going to try and get enough sleep and dream as much as I can.

It begins with me climbing over a short barbed wire fence. Within the fence is a single Sheep, And in a near by similar fenced in location is a Hog. The ground is Cracked, and grayish tan. Behind me it slopes up and disappears into the sky, as if we are on the side of a step, dead hill. There is no food nor water any where for the animals. Above the sky is a dingy, almost sickly green.
The sheep is scared, and burnt along it's right side. The wounds are fresh, and barely scabbed over. However the sheep is very large, and aggressive. A voice from behind me lets me know it will not let me treat it, I am not it's Sheppard. But I need it. I need it's meat, milk, and wool. else I will die.
As I approach is charges at me, and I refuse to move. It changes direction and almost collides with the barbed wire. I remove my self from the pen. I can't have it hurting it'self more. It has suffered enough.
The voice then leads me away from the pens, we travel down the slope, along a dusty trail. Eventually a river comes into view. However as we continue down it smoke fills the air. The world grows darker and darker until we reach the river and we can't see more that 100ft in front of our faces. The river is also lined with 12 ft tall wooden posts from which barbed wire is strung hap haphazardly. Similar to the pens we had left.
The voice passes to in-front of me. He is a general from the war that caused this, he is my friend. He explains that this fence was made to keep the enemy from crossing over the river. He opens a large gate, and leads me to the side of the river. The river is a sickly brown- green, like the water is dead.
Destroyed and sunken ships lie just beneath the surface. Directly in front of me is an old weathered pier, with a matching wooden overhang for rain. The front posts are gone, and a half sunken ship lies there holding it up. My friend points to a still intact ship across the river. He says there are leads and food for the animals on it.
When I turn my head for a second, he leaves to attempt to walk across the ships like stepping stones. I turn back to see him and he has disappeared from sight And I know he has drowned. Rain begins to fall and I try to cross the river my self. I make it to the first ship that has holds up the pier. I step on it and the ship gives way. I can hear the voices of my family scream as both I, the ship, and the pier fall into the dead river. I try desperately to swim upwards, and I almost breech the surface, before I wake up.
I'm no stranger to messed up dreams, I've even had apocalyptic dreams but it's the first time I've had one this messed up. Just felt like sharing it.

This was from my dream journal notes from the night of 1/05-1/06. Unfortunately I did not remember any dreams from last night. Even though I got a good amount of sleep, the quality was poor and I woke up a lot.

Dream 1: I was riding an Evolution ride, with a bunch of people. This included my tulpa, Tess, and an African American gentleman. I don't remember who else was there, but I remember many of the seats were filled.

The difference was that we were inside, with a floor beneath us, so it wasn't as scary as the one I rode in the waking world a few years ago. Anyway, after a while it started going higher, and we realized that it was actually on the inside of a sky tower. So cool So we were actually riding a ride inside of another ride. Some weren't too happy about this, but I was excited. We reached the top of the tower, and then our cabin containing the Evolution dropped and free fell, which took me off guard. I wasn't expecting that at all!

After the ride finished, I got off and I found my brother and sister waiting for me by the exit. I'm not sure if they rode the ride too or not. There was an exit sign that said to exit through certain shapes (there were differently-shaped holes in the fence). I found a random hole in the fence and exited the ride, and then the dream faded.

Dream 2: False awakening! It was a Sunday morning. I was lying in bed, sort of waking up, but it was still like 6 AM so I decided to go back to sleep. I was looking for something in my bag. I found a thumbtack in there for some reason, and I immediately started having OCD fears about poking myself in the eye with it. I remember finding it weird because prior to that point, my OCD hadn't bothered me with that. But it wasn't quite enough to make me realize that I was dreaming. I got very close, though. Then I accidentally turned a kids' meal toy -- a puffball -- into a purple-black color, and it yelled out something. So now we have talking toys. Then my brother responded to the toy and then he woke up. (?) Oh, right! We BOTH woke up at an apartment in college, but we were roommates (not true in the waking world). Then he said "Oh no it's like 9:39!" and apparently we had church at 11 and ran the risk of being late. I freaked out for some reason, even though that should have been sufficient time to get ready, and then I woke up.

Dream 3: Okay, I don't actually have any personal recollection of this one, but hey, it's in my dream journal.

I was working at an office. There were a lot of people. Including an African American guy. (Same as before, maybe? I don't know why my brain keeps brining that to mind, of all things). Someone asked "Will you take the plates?" so maybe I went to a restaurant? I don't remember.

Dreams from 1/06-1/07: I had already packed my DJ for college, so I had to type these into my phone, and boy is that annoying when you're half asleep!

Dream 1: I was chased by some "sketchy people". One of them had an accent. I nimbly jumped away.

Dream 2: I was on a boat, and it was rocking quite a bit in the water. I talked to a friend of mine that I haven't seen in forever.

Dream 3: I was at a zoo. I can't remember which one. I was trying to talk to a lady there (an employee), but she was not interested in interacting with me or anyone else there. There was a panda that had been transferred from the Santa Barbara zoo. There were some little kids who I thought were annoying who wanted to watch a movie. Just a disclaimer: IRL, I actually don't find little kids to be annoying at all. I think they're cool. But we have different opinions in our dreams, I guess? :O

This is the part where I became lucid. This is the gist of what I said: Within a dream, I was walking fully clothed in a river with many other people. There was an attraction of some sort. Might have been the river itself. Then, a typo reads "Loodpskarr mentioned case which I forget. My phone amen skethblkm are sodden." I have no idea what I actually meant by that, but I think I must have gotten my phone soaked in the river. OH! It was a Samsung! That's how I realized that I was dreaming!

I talked to my aunt, who just randomly happened to be there, and told her that I thought I was dreaming, since I don't use Android phones IRL. I'm an iOS kind of guy. And then I woke up. :/ No time to do anything cool! D:

After only 20 minutes, I had another dream. I was taking a Spanish class, and could do it but I was rusty. However I was confident that I could improve with time.

Last night bed 8:50pm.
1:50am - 2x300 alpha GPC and back to sleep
3am - WBTB
3:25am - 2x4 galantamine tablets by relentless improvement
3:50 - sofa
5:03 - woke myself up to record my lucids after maybe 30 min long one

I didn't turn to the side before the lucids. And my cat didn't lay on me as usually. But half of the lucid she was in my arms and we were flying together.

As soon as I got lucid I started working on my TOTMs. I remembered them all, except the "burn a house" because I didn't want to do that one and "buffet" because I already did it.

Advanced TOTM - Spin around and teleport yourself to a random location. - fail - I don't remember where I ended up.
I'm laying on a bed on top of a hillside at night. There is a high dropoff on my left with ocean glittering from moonshine. My cat is laying on me as he is usually when I WILD.

I remembered first TOTM and started to spin. My cat in my outstreched arms, kinda like 2 ice skaters, haha. I was giggling so hard. At first I was just spinning in one spot and I lost my vision. Then I felt familiar sensation in my head and I was lifted up and carried up to the right. I'm pretty sure I landed somewhere but I don't remember.

I think I ended up flying over this huge river that looked like it's in Africa. Lot's of water flowing over some huge boulders making white froth. Lot's of people in and around the water, having fun. There is a huge animal and whoa, it's a Brontosaurus. People are bathing their huge elephant just few feet from there. Looks like they are all coexisting in peace and harmony, like a future advanced or alternate society.

We fly some more and I wish the river to turn to ocean and it gets wider until we are over an ocean at night.

I'm walking down a street at night and remember the Advanced TOTM - Lift a car with super strength and carry it somewhere. - fail. I forgot to carry it somewhere.
Streets are empty, but a huge red fire truck just turns a corner out of my view. I want to go after, thinking "really, you had to pick this huge car?" it when a huge green garbage truck turns to my street and is heading towards me. I'm thinking I'm gonna get so run over if this doesn't work.

I read Ophelia's DJ during the WBTB and she teleported people. So I outstrech my arm and will the truck to float up. I'm not even surprised when it does. It wobbles a bit about 5-10 feet above ground. I want to do more, so I turn it upside down then let it drop. It's all crumbled and I see some movement in the cabin. I walk up to it and say "oh yeah, and the driver si fine, he is ok".

Now I'm looking for a Moon and I find it and start flying towards it. Everytime I want to fly faster or higher, I actually slow down. So I give up on that.

I'm in some city between building. I remember the BONUS TASK! - Go into a room and close the door. Tell yourself that while you were in the room, time stopped for you, but continued to advance outside of the room and it's now 100 years into the future. Describe what the future is like! - success

I look into a window of couple of houses but they look scary. I find one that's ok and I tell myself "this is my house". I walk in and remember I need to go in a room, so I walk through an empty room to another room and close the door.

I was preparing for this as I was falling asleep. I planned on finding a lever on a wall which I would pull and a counter would show numbers go up to the future.

So I put my hand on a wall looking for a lever. It's not there. I say "I turn back and there will be a lever". I turn and nothing. I look again and there is a metal ring hanging on a chain that's coming out of a hole in a wall above my head. I say "ok this will do". I pull on a chain, it turns some flywheel and I hear it turn fast then slow down and stop. Before it stops, I pull the chain again and I do this 5 times, because 5 times 20 years is 100, right?

I walk out the door and now that room has some people in it, sitting on chairs. I say "oh, hi" and I rush to the main door to see outside. It looks even older than before and the houses are all different. Now there is a roof over the whole street. I'm thinking maybe this is a museum and I take another door to get out to the "real world". But it leads me to same place. I get frustrated and start to think that this is how the future will look like and I'm not liking it.

After this I woke myself up to write it down. As soon as I sit up, I'm like uhm, which tasks did I do? Did I just dream doing them, haha. Fuuuu. Then I recalled the last one, then the previoius one and then the first one.

Went to sleep after this since this was all just aboout 30 min long. Had a very long non-lucid with Ophelia. She was mad at me and asking me for some money for a trip we took together. I was like OK, but I thought were were pretty even. Her BF was there too during the whole dream. They wanted me to leave so I did. Then they stopped me at the door and somehow we ended up in a futuristic, or just very modern city in Asia. I even new the name. Going up and down the escalators and sitting in rooms in highrise buildings. OP told me she wants me to have a sex change, haha. I was like from what to what, haha. It didn't make much sense. I remembered her gender-bender dreams and I just couldn't figure out what is she now and what am I and how would that all work, lol.

My recall wasn't so great today, mostly because I was too tired in the morning to care about dream recall.

I was drowning in a river at night, I had to drop my backpack and my valuables as I swam out. Fortunately, I still had my debit card with me as I bought new clothes so that I don't die from hypothermia in the winter. I was in a city that I never lived in. I returned to my home, which was in a condominium, on the seventh floor.

My dream transitioned. I was hanging out with my dad and we had a gaming console, and he was playing a horror game on it (my dad doesn't game) and he got up to go to the toilet during a cutscene, and then the monster started going after the character so I had to take control of run around in circle in a dark house, because I didn't know the context of what I was supposed to do. The monster looked like a muscular necromorph.

I dreamt i invited a friend, Fran, to a house in the countryside. We slept in the night, and at the morning of the next day i offer him some breakfast although there wasn't anything to eat. First i offer him some mint tea, then some toasts. I was walking from the bedroom (actually we were sleeping on the living room) to the kitchen, and from the kitchen to the sleeping place. Then i went to the refrigerator to look for chocolate and honey. There were 3 bars of cholocate left, so i took 2, and there was the bottom of a jar of honey, and the refrigerator was empty. He wanted to put that into the toasts, lol. Then he asked me for some cream (like cheese-cream). This part is really disgusting. I go to the kitchen and fetch from some drawers two pots of cream. I give him one pot that was open but full and i check the other one. He starts putting the content into the toast, while i was looking that the pot i was holding had some hairs that came from the underarm. He was still preparing the toast, so there was no need to scream. I told him "look at this, it seems this is not cream but rather deodorant." He said something like oh, and was undisturbed with it. He finished preparing the toast and we decided to throw it in the toilet. A toilet was right there in the living room. We finished our poor breakfast and we went outside.

We crossed a river, right outside the house to spend the day either walking on the road, or having fun. We were almost crossing when i told him i had to go back to grab the keys. He told me he would call his boss (he actually doesn't work) to tell him he would stay here. I ask him if he wanted me to grab his bicycle, but i didn't hear an answer. So i went back and i heard him saying that the water was cold. It was indeed cold, but i considered also that it was morning. I looked up the sky and it was cloudy, very cloudy, like if a storm were coming. I get off the water and had to walk about 40 meters to enter the house. There were some trees before the house. I look at the sky again, and i saw a grey background with a lot of ravens. I walk nevertheless and these ravens start to fly, like concentrating (and some of them charged) and then flying away. While they flew away the sky became clearer and the storm dissipated. There were like 100 ravens, and i felt tense while i was walking beside them. I didn't wanted to hurt them but i supposed they would attack me, and then i wouldn't know if i would react or not. I was more fearful of my reacting rather than whatever the ravens did to me. So some of them charged at me, like 3 or 4. I still walked but i was having doubts with regarding my intentions, if i wished goodwill even if they attacked me, or actually i was having an intention of ill-will towards the attacking raven. One of them bited me in my arm, and i didn't felt pain, but i felt/thought that something had to be done. With tranquil deteremination i grabbed him by the beak and opened it, but i wasn't feeling angry at all and that was something very good for me, rather i felt equanimity. He flew off but as soon as he was flying, and all the crows were doing the same, the sky opened up and showed that a beatiful sunshine was behind the clouds, and knowing that i waked up.

As soon as i waked up (i knew i really waked up hehe) i had a clear insight for my meditation. The most difficult part of the sitting meditations i do are to keep the constancy in the time of the sitting. For example if i determine to do 1:30 minutes i tend to do 1 hour, which is the normal rythm i have [Im not pushing myself too far in the goal, because i realize it is something i can actually do, i could even do do 2 hours, and 180 minutes would be pushing too far]. I don't do it because i know it's a little bit more of effort and im lazy, but im also aware that the benefits of doing it would be awesome and great. This dream has given me the motivation to endure my meditation, work a bit more, and i know that i will get to see the results soon.

What results i expect?:
-That 1:30 minutes of sitting would eventually be as easy as doing one hour.
-That all the pain that comes from meditation would eventually fade away (not by itself hehe but from work of the meditation which is done little by little)
-That after the pain is gone i will experience some pleasant feelings, and that would be the next thing i would have to deal with.
-I will gain more clarity and tranquility. That means peace of mind.

Some other notes:
-The house i dreamt was house of M. Olguín, of Rio Cuarto.
-The countryside was that which my mother rented from May/June to August/October 2015.
-I actually walked the road of that countryside to the city one day. I walked like about 4 hours and have completed only 20% of the road, so i went back before dusk. I arrived just in time, the sun was setting when i arrived. So it was also a fun day. (The next day my mothers boyfriend came in my bicycle (the one of my friend in this dream) and i went back the same day in that bicycle. He stayed for about 4 days there, but there was food to survive hehe.)

-Yesterday i watched a video of Bhante Vimalaramsi about the obstacles of meditation. It was a great talk which motivated me a lot. I think what it taught me was to accept, be mindful, investigate and continue. Developing this would be something like developing strength (in the mind).

Dream
I'm watching TV and it's a news channel reporting on a man who does tourist boat rides down a New Zealand river. He seems to be a bit 'out-of-control' because the boat is skimming against the rocky cliff on one side. He then rams the boat into a rockface, though I'd have expected more of an impact so I thought he put the brakes on or something..

Next thing I know, I'm at the location and the story has progressed. He is wading the water, I'm with a news team and we're watching him as he struggles to dislodge his foot which is stuck. He gets free and continues walking off towards and orange life jacket that's wedged between a crack in the rockwall. Apparently that's why he was driving crazily as he was searching for it. Pretty dumb reason.
I'm kind of the camera in a sense, so what I'm seeing is being conveyed back to the TV. I look down and see HUGE eel heads, there's heaps of them poking their heads out of the rocks in the water. It's incredible because it's a species that is endangered (shortfin silver eel or something)... I hop out of the water immediately, kind of shocked and grateful they didn't bite me. I hear some kind of news person talking into a camera about how we're at the site for the siting of the worlds first fresh water kangaroo. Yes.. FRESH WATER KANGEROO. What the hell? I turn to see a funny looking kangaroo doing a severely retarded paddle-jump through the water. Huh, guess it must be true. I then spot a few more kangaroos, but they all look like different species. Why are there so many different mutations in kangaroos occurring? But then my brain completely tricked me because the next time I look around there's a bunch of mutated seals. I didn't even notice the swap. There's a 4 eyed alien looking seal staring at me.. There's one that looks like it has the face of an asian. Then there's also one that looked almost exactly like a dog which barked at me, I ran away and it chased me. I then decided maybe it wanted me to pet it so I reached out, but someone nearby who had a real dog said that it was a seal and that I shouldn't pet it. I reeled my hands back as she said this, I see my hands in front of my face. Hmmm.. I'm dreaming aren't I? I do a reality check by pushing my finger through the palm of my right hand, it stretches through.

I'm in my room now, definitely dreaming. But this isn't my current room, it's my room from when I was a little kid with a few differences (colour of the room, bed positioning, bedside table and general room content). The dream starts to go dark, fuck. I better stabilize. I make huge force of willpower by straining my brain to hold the dream stable. It's like I was trying to forcibly shut off whatever mechanism causes you to wake up and it only managed to slow down the darkening. As I'm doing this I know it won't work for long and that I needed another course of action to follow it up with, something to restabilize the dream as it wasn't enough to just stay asleep. I decide to 'relax' and release the tension, the world must have been shaking before because everything seemed still all of a sudden. The room got a little bit lighter and less grainy. I look at the bedside table and see a mirror, except inside the mirror is a brighter room. I walk over, pick it up, and then push myself through head first. Half of me from the waist up is in this newer, brighter version of my room, the mirror is caught on my jeans. Damn it. I kind of convince the dream that this didn't happen and climbed into the room properly. Phew. My clothes are inside out though, and the room has a sort of inverted appearance, but the exit and windows are all in their normal places. I should probably do something... I decide to do the waterball challenge me and my dream buddy Emnition are trying. Man this is a long lucid. It feels like a very down-to-earth lucid, as if bending physics would be quite hard unless I did some tricky stuff. I try anyways, I cup my hands in the air as if to summon the water into a ball. I'm facing the open doorway at this point and the background kind of throws me off.. I turn around and re-attempt, facing a lighter and less cluttered background of my rooms wall. Then I say "Now I just need to condense the vapour from the surrounding air", I imagine how this would look in my mind... Particles flying towards a centre point between the space of my cupped hands. Oh look, I'm awake. I woke up very fast :/

Morning of July 13, 2016. Wednesday.



The first segment relates to my wife Zsuzsanna and our family as we are now though living in a house that seems like a variation of the Loomis Street house. One difference is that there is an additional porch door on its south end, closest to the internal wall. It had apparently been unused for longer periods by other tenants and was even nailed shut. In fact, there is a point at which I remove the nails and we use it for a time. Eventually, our landlord appears and, even though we had been using the door recently, makes the claim “this door has never been opened”. I find his ignorance typical of people but amusing. He appears to be here to make repairs.

Soon, there is this idea that I am leaving for an undetermined amount of time. Zsuzsanna had asked me at least twice if there was a nude man sleeping in the middle of the street (dream sign). I am not sure at first as it may just be an animal that had been run over. It seems to be late afternoon. Everyone is sad to see me leave. I leave with no additional belongings or items. A car pulls up (from the north if assuming Loomis Street) and an unknown teenage girl is the driver. (This is one of those many times when I somehow know that I am creating the events in my dream, in this case summoning the driver “out of nowhere”, but I am not at all aware that I am dreaming.) Before I ride off in the car (the driver’s side being on the left even though I have lived in Australia since 1994), Zsuzsanna asks me again about a possible nude man sleeping in the middle of the street but I am still not sure.

The dark-haired girl is dressed somewhat formally in black slacks and a light-colored sleeveless top. I do not learn her name at any point. Her demeanor is somewhat formal though still cheerful. I notice that the unusual imagery in the middle of the street is actually an animatronics display of two beavers as in an implied scene from one of the “Chronicles of Narnia” movies. This seems curious to me as it may be a hazard for vehicles to have to drive around. Ahead, as we go south, we notice other animatronics displays, most of which are large but most are on each side of the street. One, on the left, is somewhat like a small Nativity scene. This all seems like some sort of temporary publicity stunt as well as a holiday-related event.

A shift occurs and it is now late at night. I am now walking with the unknown female in an unfamiliar alley though it is an illogical setting as one alley leads into an additional perpendicular alley with a high light-colored wooden fence on the opposite side. An unknown man approaches us with a knife to rob us. Even though I am not lucid, I say “You have no knife” and his knife vanishes. He appears to be very puzzled and somewhat concerned. For a short time I think of making him vanish as well but instead, I create a revolver in my right hand and aim it at him. I then think that this might make the girl think that I am a violent person so I cause my gun to vanish. The man runs off into the night.

I am now returning to my family. It has been two years since I had seen them (though Zsuzsanna appears about twenty years younger and our children appear about three years younger). I hug her in the doorway. We are going to travel to a new home. Many people are going to help us, though most of them are in their fifties to seventies. The journey will be difficult since we have to wade through a river in the coldest part of the year. In fact, someone asks me why I want to go there at this time but I do not have an answer for them. Still, I am not sure how Zsuzsanna and our children get through as I only see several older people making the journey. I am with them but somehow not fully in my body. I do not seem as stressed as they are by the conditions of the environment. One older male’s outer flesh had come off from his right side and I can see his ribs and lungs. He keeps wading through the cold water with the others. I think perhaps he may die, yet he continues. I feel a bit guilty about his condition.

We all end up on the porch of my family’s new home. Oddly, it just seems like another version of the Loomis Street house (in seeming location and orientation) that we had left. It seems an older unknown male is letting us live there for as long as we want. The male who had a large strip of his flesh come off seems to be okay now. Many antiques and knickknacks are visible, including some sort of smaller cylindrical objects with a forest painted in one smaller circular area on the side and which may be candle holders. I remark about the house probably having been built in the 1700s. I see that the brick wall on my right is very crooked, with the bricks at various depths from the wall’s implied center (almost as if something very strong had tried to push out from the other side) but this does not seem problematic in any way. There seems to be some sort of machine attached to the ceiling. I can see two small rectangular buttons close to each other longways, one red, one yellow, the red one on the left as I look up. Someone activates it with a switch on the wall for a short time and a few are wary of it as it is fairly large and hanging over their heads. It is connected to some sort of pulley and is part of a device to carry parts for production from one area to another but has been unused since perhaps the 1800s.

I look out through the doorway and discover that there is now an additional porch that is illogically linked to the front of this porch. It is a bit bigger and mostly glass and metal rather than brick. There is a series of French doors all the way across the front. I clearly see writing that is printed in large letters (at least six rows) from ceiling to floor. It says “To Lulu” on each left door and “To me” on each right door (and there are probably four sets of two) so that the writing is close near the middle of where each pair of doors open. The writing is on bars that go across what is otherwise glass to where I can see outside to the street.

I go back into the other smaller porch and comment on how the house was built for, and dedicated to, a girl named Lulu. I start repeating “To Lulu, to me, to Lulu, to me” over and over. (Lulu is the name of a singer who sang “To Sir with Love”, which I heard a lot as a child and young adult and which I also performed as an instrumental on both accordions and keyboards. However, there is also a song called “Don’t Bring Lulu” which I also performed, though I assume it means the singer as Paula Abdul was referenced in one of my last dreams.)

I was on a dark street with my dog (I seriously must have nothing else going on in my life) and she suddenly ran off toward the river. I was shocked because she has never done this, and she was ignoring my calls. I finally caught up with her but I didn’t have a leash. I thought it would be a good idea to put her in my car (I can’t remember what I was doing at the time, but I was going somewhere that wasn’t home.) I held onto my dog’s collar as we walked back and I encountered a drunk man that I apparently knew as a regular in a restaurant I worked at. He made some random comments that I don’t remember and I felt slightly uncomfortable. I went into a theater/pub where two of my friends were. One of them had my car keys. The first one I encountered, Amy, was announcing someone to the crowd. I tried to get her attention but couldn’t. I saw my other friend, Angi, and she gave me my keys. My dog morphed between my current dog and my last dog, who passed away almost a decade ago. This is not uncommon. I also remember driving by an outdoor laundromat during the day, and thinking that I could work there, that it didn’t seem so bad. The place was basically a parking lot with one or two washing machines/dryers and a stand with a bunch of hot pink and bright blue flowers for sale.

I had dreams of trying to solve graphic design problems too, in fact I thin this is what the bilk of my night was spent doing. I'm currently taking some courses, and I guess my brain is working overtime.

Thoughts: I took Valerian Root before bed last night, probably falling asleep around 12:15am, which is late for me. I read some design books in bed before sleeping. My thoughts seemed to be racing again—not very stressful thoughts, but my brain struggled to relax. Again, visualization practices seemed difficult and uninteresting. Woke up at 3am and read for an hour or two, fell back asleep around 5ish. I'm taking my dog to the vet today for vaccines. Looking for part time work.

I fell back asleep this morning while trying to visualize floating on a river. I practice visualization pretty regularly, and occasionally it produces a WILD. When I initially entered the dream I thought that it must be one of the rivers nearby, as the landscape looks the same. I seemed to be floating on an invisible boat, or I just never looked down because my field of vision was just the river and the trees on either side. Instead of moving forward slowly, like floating on a boat, my body felt the sensation of going backwards, and rather quickly, and feeling regular patterns of large swells of waves, almost like a slow, backwards rollercoaster. The scene was in fact similar to the image on a video of a simulated ride. After a little while of really enjoying this sensation, I was plunged into darkness, and had a tingling sensation. I continued to feel as if I were moving backwards, only now it felt more like falling. A tiny fear came up in me and I briefly thought of death. I saw tiny orange and yellow moving geometric figures accompanied by rapid 'tink tink tink tink' sounds as they slid around on either side of my visual field, sort of like a mini tetris game.


Thoughts: The was not quite an OBE, as I did not have the sensation of moving or jumping out of my body as I have in the past.

I only remember a single fragment, but it was a rather powerful vision/exit dream. Got up maybe 10 minutes ago, still blurry and associative fluid.

I see a vision of expanding consciousness, it is expanding into light from the top of my perceptual field. There is a brief moment of pre-verbal reflection on my increased capacity to enter these expanded quasi-mystical states.

An image appear, or rather it is a translucent spectral scenario, set against the backdrop of the fluid shadows in darkness at the back of my eye lids.

It is a river bank, the river is wide, it is the Amazon. The trees are in-differentiable, there are so many. The image twirls inwards on itself as slightly to my left The Golden Python makes a brief appearance, she has business with me. Intent is clear, content incipient – I hear you Mother!

I wrote this up earlier and forgot to post so I'm just going to write up a very brief version...

Dream 1 - Gingerbread man
Evil doctor gets put in a sarcophagus by these teenagers who wanted to act as the hand of justice. I'm an investigator and try to find him, I enter the crypt where he's supposed to be and find one of his evil experiments (a zombie). I'm in a room and the zombie is now a small gingerbread man with a missing leg. A delivery man enters and sits down, I tell him not to because the gingerbread man is under the table, it bites him and he gets infected. I try find it but it's missing, which means it's learned to crawl. Me and the man turn to look at one another and share the same thought of "Oh shit... It's... LEARNING?!?".

Dream 2 - Waterfall
I'm on a field trip with a bunch of people, it's a nice sunny day. We're on the side of a road taking a lunch break, there's a waterfall which everyone is keen to jump off but it's too high. A guy told me that my friend Daniel jumped off with goggles, I knew he was lying. I go find my friend Daniel and he tells me he didn't jump, he's also surrounded by girls. Everyone is now heading to jump off the waterfall (it's not too big anymore but it still is.. So it doesn't make sense). I catch up to the people at the back, one of them is a different Daniel I know. We're about to cross the railway, a train is coming so we have to wait while the rest of the class goes ahead. Now there's an obstacle course thing we're navigating, I lose Daniel and this other guy I was following and they hop onto a minecart. I just manage to spot them before they disappear into a wooden tunnel ride. I follow on foot and duck my head to crawl through the entrance. Eventually I catch up and I get pissy, "Where is the waterfall?!?! It was right in front of us so what the fuck is going on?!".
I didn't really understand it was a dream I guess.

I went to sleep again today around 11am, I just felt so comfy and tired and my cat cuddled up to me for a while. I had a similar dream again.. The same idea of trying to get something but not being able to do. It should be right in front of me but just keeps getting further away. Weird, I've only really just noticed that my dreams have a sort of underlying story theme. I'll try pay more attention to this I guess.

Some activities i did before going to sleep. When it was already dark at night i went out with my bicycle for a ride so see some scenarios. I seem to enjoy more of the awareness at night, and that helped me in my dreams tonight.
Then, before going to sleep, i meditated one hour aproximately in Zazen. That helped me a lot in vividness of my dreams and restfulness of mind in my dreams, at the last moment of a dream that actually helped me got lucid.

I fell asleep at about 3:00 AM. In my first dream I was at a supermarket. In front of the cashiers, in the same building, there were many shops. In one of those shops there was a woman who kept a tablet that was mine, she said for safety. I wanted to go in and talk to her but the shop was closed. Then i talked to a cashier, and she said that there was no problem that she would give me one (apparently she trusted my word). So he passed the tablet through the laser and she asked me for 15 pesos. I told her that was why i wanted to speak to that woman. There was nothing wrong with my tablet and now i have to pay 15 pesos for nothing. But ok i payed it. Then she bagged it and while she did that we talked about a football match of this morning (which nothing happened in waking life, actually before going to bed i was thinking about football and Argentinean team, something i haven't done for like 2 years). She asked me if i saw the football match of Argentina this morning and i said no, i don't watch football anymore. She was surprised, a man who doesn't watch football, but i wasn't surprised of her, i know that some people are ignorant enough that think everyone will have the same habits. She was with another woman, and for not being rude i said that i haven't watched a single match since Argentina lost the world cup on 2014, she said that she couldn't believe i (actually she did but she said that probably for my tenacy. I actually wasn't interested anymore, it's just a business, that doesn't attract me).

I went out the supermarket and took a walk in the city. I crossed a street and i saw my grandmother in a car, like working as a taxi driver. I go to the square (scenario i had seen in my bicycle ride before going to sleep). I was heading from a supermarket called Vea to another one, more close to center of the city, called Top. I don't recall so much what happened there. But after that i headed with my mother to a street where there is a school. I saw a small square and next to it the entrance to a garden (street mitre). My mother passed it but wanted to show it to me, and i pointed out that it was behind. She kept going anyways and we went to the end of the street. The building were each time more ... antique, they were like gothic style (the houses were like 2 meters tall, and made of stone, fine stone), and the place looked like a town more than a city. In a street there were some old men playing or washing and i asked my mother if she could stop so i could see them. She did 100 meters more and stopped at the end of the street. I asked her if she could go back. She didn't answer me. I asked her if i could drive. She was staring at me. I told her "It will be ok, it's a lucid dream, im aware" but with compassion (not with conceit like happens other times i get lucid. This is probably a nice effect of the meditation). My dream starts to fade and i find myself awake, but i stay still, thinking that i could return to the dream again. Anyways i was in a bad postion (not awful like other times, but wasn't good either). I thought about the DEILD technique so i stood for a while like that. Then i thought about writing the dream and do a WBTB but i didn't since i would remember the dream. I fell asleep again, i continued in the same dream, but i wasn't lucid. It was like the dream would prolonge for like 10 minutes. So i continued dreaming. We headed with the car to our left. We go to the end of the street where there was a river going down. I got out of the car and my mother was already with his boyfriend so i left them and went on my own. I got myself inside some ruins and jungle. I saw there was no escape from that point onwards so i had to go back and surround that place, go through a river "gate" and there i could continue. I saw there was a big stone, and water flowed below that. It wasn't very dangerous since nobody could fall there, but one could put a hand there. Anyways one wouldn't want to since there were a lot of insects there and a lot of moss. Suddenly i see the boyfriend of my mother coming and he puts a hand in the water and he drinks it. Then he shouts, "i drank some of the water you drink" (like saying to my mother) i told him that is not the water she drinks, this one has insects. He didn't listened to me, probably he heard me. I go back and im ready to go to the river. I was at the spot where the car was (i was to the left of that place). I jump out of some big squared stones and i see to my right (i was in front of the car, so same direction as i was before) and i see a beautiful landscape. The skies were blue, but that blue was covered with purple, orange and yellow. There were some trees, very tall, like 20 or 30 meters of altitude. It was like the earth if it would have evolved spiritually, with no pollution or anything like it. The tree looked like weirwood of game of thrones, but it was taller, and when i saw it and the sky behind it it was a lovely mix of colours. The place was the andino, at the end of Bv Roca, i was standing to the left of what would be that place. By the way, when i was coming down the big squared stones i thought about the benefits of giving up adictions, that it is neccesary, then i saw that beautiful landscape.