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Big dreaming night, and pretty good sleep. No extended insomnia.

Got very tipsy, two large-ish glasses of wine.
Ate fresh apple cake, two ice creams, bowl of chips.
Had a happy attitude all evening.
Watched videos before bed.
Read a little bit before bed.
bedtime ~23:30

Taking a more relaxed attitude is everything.

earlier:

+ floating in ocean, attacked by giant whale shark fish like thing, roll around to avoid its mouth getting eaten, it swims off eventually

+ guard at the doorway, I present my key to prove my right to be here, enter apt. see son S1? guard follows, the apartment has colorful but peeling walls, I'm a bit ashamed of the apartment

later:

+ attending some big conference, (outside, preparing to go in)

+ playing wilderness golf?

+ car broken into and emptied. (after a meeting?) I go out to my car parked on the street. It's in the middle of an intersection? The blue ford fiesta? I see that it has been broken into, and completely stripped. It looks like there is nothing left inside. I am panicked and upset, I walk around the car looking for anything, but it's completely stripped. Even my registration is gone, totally empty. Even the jack has been stolen. Looking more, I see there is a door pocket/panel opened on the left side passenger door with some stuff left inside it, I wonder why they didn't take it. There's a police patrol car right next to me, and I'm blocking them and they're trying to get by, I stop them and tell them my car's been broken into.

+ scooter turned donkey ride! [very vivid, feelings of acceleration and gravity!]
The best/most vivid dream of the night is probably the scooter-donkey ride. I was very closely inspecting [inspecting objects, thinking about them and how they work, especially with a close up view, is a sure DREAM SIGN for me. Very often this is door knob/gate locking mechanisms, and sink faucets] "my" scooter. I very clearly saw the gas in the trasparent gas tank sloshing around, interestingly, it seemed to be getting *fuller* rather than leaking out. I looked around back and found that it was leaking, and so I manipulated some things to close the container to stop the leak. I move around to the back of the scooter and inspect the various components that are hanging by their wires attached to the main corpus of the scooter. I line up one on the right hand side and attach it, using guide arrows, and do the same for another component, but on the left side of the scooter. Now a circular grey-scale display lights up with a control and gague system for the scooter and I start touching things to configure it. (There is some woman nearby who comments on something? Forgot...). My attention moves to the handlebars, and the left handlebar front brake control, which seems non-functional. It seems not attached to anything and just flapping there, I try manipulating it buy I get the sense it's not attached to anything. I look down to the front wheel as I'm doing this. I wonder about the maximum speed of this scooter, and the figure 35 MPH pops into my head. I imagine riding it and pushing on the handles to turn (like on a motorcycle, push left to go left, push right to go right). I mount the scooter, which now inexplicably has transformed into a small donkey! There is still a central circular display/handle and I now hold on to this and we take off. It is outside in daylight on a hilly country road setting with no trees. I "turn" the donkey to a side road that heads upwards, fairly rough gravelly/rocky terrain, and wonder if this thing has the strength to go long with me on it, and how well it will go uphill. The response is that it energetically sprints up the hill, very quickly, and *accelerates*! I feel the gravity and the acceleration as I strengthen my grip to hold on! We lurch forwards up the hill, turning towards the right. Now it seems that we are in some multi-townhouse division with a paved roadway/driveway, still hilly, still heading uphill. There are two men working in the road ahead, and I'm somewhat concerned about encountering them. As I pass them they do not seem threatening but are amused at my passage. Then something about turning downhill and giving a little girl a flower, but that is less clear.

+ walking through office with g/f L, we're in the printer room, there are large printer/copier devices there, they have colorful declas on the side, we kiss briefly in printer room, look at oddly colored and logoed printer/copiers, walk to cube, lots of people in close space close cubes, drinks cooler on ice on desk full of bottles of cold beverages, many of them motel-sized small drink bottles, many of them alcoholic, the manager there warns that some of those are very potent, I enter my cube, there's a team of young IT guys dismantaling routers there, wires are everywhere, they're asking me questions

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening astral projection

I am in VFX, the nearest city, heading to the bus station to get a bus home, but the street is packed with people. It's some holiday and everyone is celebrating. Then I realize I am not wearing a mask and have been walking through all these people who are also maskless. I look deep inside my bag and find a mask I carry for emergencies. The buses are not coming and people are angry. Then a group of people at the end of the line for the bus, spots a bus stopping a few hundred meters before, to avoid the crowd and they start running to get to it firs. I join them. Then a meteorite crosses the sky. We hear something on the news about incoming meteorites worldwide. When I finally get to my mom's home, another one of those meteorites flies by her building. I go to the window to check it out and realize it is not a meteorite but a spherical UFO. It comes to check our windows. I tell mom to stay still but the UFO somehow enters the room without breaking the window and analyzes us. Mom panics and collapses. The UFO is a type of intelligent drone and asks us to cooperate or else. Then forces us to have a math lesson with a hologram teacher, who for some reason is Cristina, a Portuguese tv host. She asks me to solve a math problem but I struggle with it, because she wrote it on a screen and immediately deleted it, plus they give a gadget that is some kind f calculator and I don't know how to operate it. They get upset. Meanwhile my dad comes in, doesn't realize there is an alien drone projecting an hologram, thinks the lady is real and starts flirting with her. I feel so embarrassed that I ask the alien drone to please forgive him and it actually becomes more friendly.

Spending some time at some place like a kindergarten. I am friends with the teacher and I am replacing or helping her. RAP has a kid going there and at the end of the day comes to get him. We meet and we get very friendly, we goof around a lot. I think he likes me. Then his wife also comes by and he introduces me to her with too much enthusiasm and with his hand around my waist. I feel awkward and she clearly is very upset. She is gorgeous, but I get the vibe he has way more fun with me. Some woman complains the next day that her kids didn't do homework or something and that it was our fault.

I am sleeping over at some Japanese friends' house. When I arrive he serves me tea. Hands me a strange package with detachable packets, each one with a different infusion. I just want to drink some hot beverage, but he claims it is important that I read the texts printed on each packet and choose the one I want accordingly, no matter if it's in the middle or end of it. I say I don't care, just detach the first one and he insists the choice is part of the experience and we end up debating the virtues of caring or not for that and I no longer care about the tea. I then spot on his tv some anime show that looks familiar. I see that it is written by a polish guy I know from the Sangha. I love it and then realize it is very similar to the story I have been wanting to finish for a graphic novel.

I am back in VFX with Riverstone and the town looks totally different. The street layout is changed, one of the main roads is now pedestrian friendly and it has now lots of tourist shops selling historic artifacts and ethnic crafts. I find my dad at an Indian shop arguing with the seller that some amethyst necklace is actually made of turquoise. I try to reason with him that the Indian guy is right but he insists we are wrong. I accidentally damage a bag some with ink I had in my hand and try to hide it, but then my dad knocks down a bottle of perfume and breaks so all attentions go to him.

I think I have a moment of astral projection. Starts off as a false awakening in my bed, it's dark in my room, I feel my cats cozied up in bed with me, but at the same time I realize I am not quite in my body and I am seeing through my closed eyelids. Then I hear a strange "ting ting" noise approaching and recognize it as my grandpa's walker coming towards my room and stopping by the side of my bed. I don't see him, but I do feel very clearly a presence and a darker shadow where the sound just stopped. My grandpa died a couple of days ago, so I realize I am being visited by a ghost. First I feel scared but then force myself to calm down, after all it is just grandpa checking on me before possibly departing to elsewhere. Just like he would do when he was alive, he would walk by silently and look casually without saying a word before moving on.

At some area with apartments, shops and gym. I just had an ice cream at a food truck and some guys that know me and some who don't, just exchanged some comments and catcalled me. I am a gorgeous woman, with the looks of the likes of Sofia Vergara, but I am also a detective or police agent in my pant suit trying to be respected for who I am. The sun is setting as I walk across a courtyard leading to a long staircase down to a car park. From the top of the stairs I see the shadow of someone stabbing another person at the car park. I am unarmed and my instinct is to go back and see if nobody else is coming and call for backup. I enter a gym that is just right next to me and warn some women there of what just happened so they take cover and hide. I also call the police and they say they already had been warned because there are more bodies and the killer is on a spree. When they arrive, they take me to where there is a line of bodies left by the killer on a street nearby and they evacuate everybody in the danger zone to a safer place. The manhunt starts. I find a suspicious black woman hiding in a tight corner of an alley holding a knife. I tell her to stand down but she won't and tries to attack me. I remove her knife but she has more knives and keeps reaching out to it. I manage to remove all knives and immobilize her and other agents come to take her. She claims she is only hiding from the killer and has the right to defend herself because I could be the killer. I grant her the benefit of the doubt and I say that I believe her and I apologize if we are being unfair but she still needs to be interrogated because she was acting suspicious and had some 5 knives on her.
The officers then tell me they have found the suspect, a male, and he is cornered on the top floor of a building with a kid hostage. We all go there but only I go inside the room to negotiate. He has a knife pointed to the kids throat but I get close enough to throw a small knife to his head. Doesn't kill him but hurts him enough so he drops the kid. The kid is taken by other officers. The killer takes the knife out of his skull and grabs more knives. We fight, he cuts me a bit, but in the end I make a choke hold with my legs around his neck, disarm him and flip back throwing him unconscious. I am exhausted and hurt. All my colleagues are in state of shock and awe and unable to say anything. I feel sad and lonely as I pass them going down the stairs.

I'm talking with Diego. He says that he doesn't have any parents.

Notes: I helped Diego with some math yesterday. I read "To Kill a Mockingbird", and just read about Dill who doesn't have a dad.

Fragment I'm in some kind of game with lava. I need to get some kind equipment in order to pass the lava.

Notes: My brother talked about about a game he plays where he needs some new equipment in order to proceed.

I'm cooking Hasselback potatoes in the kitchen. Andreas E is constantly calling me just to ask me how I am. I tell him I am okey with a short reply all the times. New fragment. I'm in my room with a hose. I am shooting water in my room and try to put my thumb by the mouth of the hose in order to get a more spread out water beam. I don't succeed. My mom calls to me that everyone has to help in the new potato land.

Notes: I read about potatoes yesterday. Andreas has been writing sometimes. I think Andreas has the role of Martin more in the dream because he constantly asks me how I am.

I woke up 05.19 and wrote down the past dreams then. I tried to WILD and have my breath as focusing point but fell asleep.

I'm driving our car up to our street from Albin's house. There is a stranger next to me in the car. He says that I am driving wrong but I think I'm doing it right. He keeps on telling me that I do wrong. I succeed in parking by our house.

I'm in some kind of game where we jump on big rocks and Bowser is there. My brother is also there. I realize it's a dream and fly away. I fly to my house and there are my cousins. I have almost perfect lucidity and it feels as though I have all my IRL memories. I remember that I want to eat something good. I go to the kitchen and find Peter there. I ask him if there is anything I can eat. He takes the frying pan and show me some kind of bean mess that looks disgusting. Peter takes his hand in the food and shoves it around which makes it look even less appetizing. I don't want to eat it anymore and fly outside. Morgan and mom are there. I fly up to the tree which doesn't have any leaves in the dream. I fly around it and I feel such blissfulness. I fly in many different positions that makes me really happy. I fly on my back, stomach, I stand on my feet and fly upwards with my feet pointing up to the sky. That was really trippy. This dream has such good stabiliy and everything feels really real I think to myself. I try to fly as high as I can and above the atmosphere. Unfortunately I can't go higher than about 15 meters above the ground. There is like a soft ceiling that I can't break through. I ask the people on the ground if they want to join me. Some people start to fly modestly and carefully. I fly to the city where the dream starts to fade away.

Notes: The flying was so easy and it made me feel amazing.

I am in city with my friends from school. There is a big glass cage where some people stand. I become more and more lucid. I start to fly in the glass cage and look at the people. I grab two of my friends' hands and try to fly away with them. It is difficult to fly with the extra weight but I manage okey. We walk to Saltö and Gabriel talks about some kind of karate. I look at Signe and she looks different from IRL.

Edit:

Remembered some more dreams during my morning routines.

I'm sitting on a bench in school with the school's guitar. Eni comes through the entrance with his own guitar equipment and someone behind him also has some music instruments. I tell Eni that he finally brought his own things to school. He laughs and says something about how it was time. I'm happy when I think about what we are going to play.

Notes: I thought about how me and Eni probably isn't going to play with each other anymore some days ago.

I'm looking at my face in some mirror and see that my right eyebrow is cut in half and that the right side of the right eyebrow is just a circle with hair on it.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening astral projection

I accidentally get cast for the pilot episode of some tv show. It goes well but the whole team finds out some illegality from the studio or producers and take them to court. We win the legal battle and get a millionaire compensation. But the whole project is disbanded and started from scratch by a new team and a new cast. We meet the new cast and it is full of legends, living and dead, like John Wayne.

An article on a magazine about this portuguese actress who is a fascist and everybody hates. It says she got rich from selling some ideas to television or something, but I get insider info that she might have committed fraud and some person wants to show me the proof. My cousin João M. is driving me in a car along my friend Vera, my aunt Lisa and someone else. We stop at a club right after the exit of a highway to meet this person who is then taking us along in its own car. João asks his mom to let him stay at the club while we go wherever we're going, but she says "no way". We tell her to let him, because he is almost a man and he needs to grow up, but we also warn him about the dangers and tell him to keep an eye, particularly on cougars who might hit on him.

With a study group at a library, one of the girls looks exactly like Emilia Clarke and I tell her that she'll be famous in the future. Everybody looks at me with strangeness and I tell them not to freak out ,but that I know stuff that will happen in the future and know that she will be the main character of a famous tv series that will be on the air for years. The girl first thinks I am insane but then starts liking the idea. But then I remember to ask her name and she is called Sofia Alves and I am like "oops". So then not to give her false expectations I tell her I am kidding and that she is actually just the doppelgänger of that actress. But now she doesn't believe me as she is totally convinced I was telling the truth at first and she doesn't want the fantasy destroyed.

4th October 2020

8:45?

Fragment:

In one part of this dream I had gone to a computer like mine (but was it mine?) and in the dream's context I'd previously downloaded a comic of sorts, about a giant elf lady who allowed herself to be pleasured by an also rather large but sentient spider (i.e. of the same level of intelligence). The comic was incredibly detailed but it wasn't tending towards hyper-realism or anything; initially I was very apprehensive as I thought my arachnophobia might come back (because of the spider's details) but I ended up liking the comic and the high level of detail. The backgrounds seemed simple or mostly abstract, colour gradients?

The comic apparently had 68 pages, but each page was effectively a single comic tile/strip and many of them only showed small or incremental changes from the previously shown scenes. The spider was a night blue or black colour? Orb weaver type.

Before this, T and I had been talking? But after looking at the comic for a while, I became aware of T's presence by my left side at this desk I was apparently sat at. I felt embarrassed and didn't like the idea that he'd basically been watching me look at this comic, when I thought I was alone. But he made no comment about it and I didn't bring it up myself.

I remember a beautiful pine forest before all of this. Distant and snowy mountains and a river close by. Think I was walking by its sandy bank. There was some surreal element to the area, like the area was an unnatural overhanging cliff? But I think the forest was part of what prompted the comic segment.

Fragment:

I was some woman for a short bit or playing a game as this woman? But things looked realistic and I remember no HUD. I was in a third-person mode and there was something about setting a record and using motorcycles to do so. A giant plasma orb and some controller for it. I remember going up a ramp in a city area. There was a very wide river? Reminds me of some cities in the USA.

At the end of this dream segment I had taken something which was really important. Some sinister and some natural higher powers all wanted whatever this was. I remember someone mentioning Aether beings like those of Minecraft:Aether. They also said something about those beings supposedly being more deserving of this thing I'd taken. There was a feel of being like Frodo or Bilbo, having something as highly sought after as the one ring.

10-11:00?

Fragment:

In an altered version of my old home. I was trying to get to my computer in my bedroom. Emphasis on trying because interruptions kept happening. I felt some kind of compelling to look at that comic again. But this time I couldn't even get to the computer, T kept trying to talk to me or something. Then I lost him somehow and got in my room. I was about to shut the door but saw mom away in the distance; the house felt bigger and more... diagonal. But I hesitated; I tried turning on the light for my room but it wasn't working. I don't think it was night time, but it was dark in there.

For some reason the hall's light was stopping my room's light from working, as I found that if that one went off, my room's light would work. But then T appeared again.

(recall gap)

Then, out in the night in my old town. There seems to be less street lighting than I'd expect. I'm at a car park near our home and walking towards a car, but can't recall the look of it. Something about getting in and then mom was there, wanting to teach me to drive.

I get in the driver seat? But it's on the "wrong" side. Then dad turns up as I'm about to get going/started and I somehow am at the back of the car now, with dad having taken over. Then some third-person view sort of top-down, chasing the car while some kind of crazy manoeuvring is happening and the car is avoiding other cars using the road normally.

Fragment:

In the sky, kind of? Maybe this was in sequence of the old bedroom part, but I remember there are some very thin but incredibly solid platforms, nothing sways and I don't notice the absence of wind. I just remember seeing sky and clouds, even when looking downwards. It was sunny and I walked down some steps, at a quick pace? I had some sort of objective or goal.

Fragment:

In a back garden. A house that's mine and H's? There was a messy grassy garden, unkept. The grass looks yellowed or dry in parts and there are many tufts. There's a hole in the ground and on some level I remember that it could be a wasp nest like H had recently told me about and indeed some wasps do come out of the hole, but I run past and over the hole. Vague recall of the grass/ground being soft, like it's ankle deep.

Fragment:

Either H or T, stroking a cat (using the foot). I'm more at ground level, like the cat. Can't recall if it's black or white, but think white. But the cat gets up a little and hisses at him, but doesn't seem to care about me.

---

Notes:

- I don't remember looking through all the pages of the comic, but do remember seeing about 20 different strips, albeit many were only of small alterations conveying motion. I have some vague recall of text but I don't remember any text bubbles or anything.

- Although I watched LOTR a long time ago, I did watch the Hobbit recently.
-- The theme of a valuable object being sought-after by powerful entities has recently occurred in another dream.

- Although mom did use to drive, by the time I was around she didn't drive anymore because of some experiences she had.
-- Mom was a teacher for a lot of her life, so it seems somewhat fitting that she would try teaching me even if she hadn't driven at all, even once, since I've lived.

- There were a lot of themes both about my family and about my old home in these dreams.
-- I had a slight introspection not too much later after waking, about this. The interaction between my "self" and the voice from my last lucid has made me wonder about the metaphorical meanings, as I have always had issues with family interrupting things or generally being nosey about things I'd rather they weren't nosey about, but this is only compounded worse by the fact that I wasn't able to have "space to myself" in a sense, when I was much younger, many of my dreams during my youth seemingly often having an aspect of wanting to be separate from my family, at times; at least to be able to explore certain things by myself.
-- The interruptions by T were something of a recurring theme during waking life, especially in regards to not talking about something that I may have felt was awkward or sordid. But in our childhoods we were very close.

Finally some decent sleep

+ Come up to a work lab station/area, I know they're working on our latest chip which is back from the foundry. They are testing various aspects of it, I wonder if the whole thing works or not. I ask for them to hand me a whole board, they hand me one. It's fairly large for a board, square, typical green base material, and our chip is about 1/2 square right in the middle and is black.

+ driving in car, I want to throw some piece of garbage away [recent recurring DS!], we pull into some sort of rest stop under an overpass, I see a garbage can, but there are two menacing men there, one of them brandishing a long barrel machine gun, I get nervous and we pull out quickly. Cut to driving, and it appears that the gun guy grabbed on to the back of our vechile (which is a truck), and is climbing along the back, I (or someone, I think I've [DO] from outside) is struggling with the guy, getting him tied up to the canvas-covered back of the truck? Wrapping him around with clear plastic wrap?

+ group party, table, beers. Hanging out with people at tall tables sitting on stools (at a bar?) [DREAM SIGN]

+ something about BF MR [DS]

+ Driving in a parking lot, need to exit. Go up curving ramp to top level, need to get a receipt to get through the automatic gate (to exit?), enter office area, I'm waiting for my receipt, but there's a line of people there to my right waiting for service, I'm not sure if I can just go up and get it, I think I can but I'm not sure.
Conversation Steve [plane guy] from company D [first company]

+ fiddling with a video game or screen, there is an image (the joker from batman?) that sort of jumps around, it's like the monitor settings are off or the computer is trying to change resolution, the image is not settling properly.

I'm playing Among Us with some of my friends. Me and David H are the impostors. David and I speak on a different channel on discord but I forget to mute me on the main channel where everyone listens. I say something I shouldn't have done and David dies in game because of that.

Notes: I played Among us with those same people before I went to sleep yesterday. We never use alternate channels when we are impostors. I wonder why I cheated in the dream. I wasn't aware that I was cheating in the dream.

I'm in a big room with many seats. There are people sitting on them who are my enemies. I do some cool flips and tricks to smoothly jump between the seats and punch everyone there. There are three levels of enemies. The first level men just sit down and let me hit them. The second level persons do resistance but I can still take them down. I meet the third level man on the right corner when I am done with a row. I try to hit him as hard as I can but he just sits in the same position and I fly backwards because of the power that released when I hit him. There are more men that are identical, looking just like him. That's when I know it's gonna be impossible.

I had a FA this night I think.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening astral projection

With some people, bored. I spot a stone slab on the ground that I lift and I excavate under. They wonder what I am doing and even I don't know. I find an empty space and with a lantern I point down a shaft and show them my find. There is a Buddhist altar a couple levels below. I somehow get down there and from the middle of the altar objects I get a sword that I feel compelled to take with me. I can't go back up the hole, so instead I follow a tunnel that goes from there and I end up by a river. I notice I am in my white satin pyjama and barefoot with a sword now in the middle of the street and I start attracting other people's attention. There is a dock on the opposite side of the river and some guy starts walking parallel to me. He is making me nervous when I realize he wants to attack me as soon as he gets a chance to cross the river. But I save him the trouble by flying up and towards him. I brandish my sword and knock him down with a chi energy blast, don't even touch him. I keep walking up a road and 3 Chinese boys, also with swords, start walking by my side in an intimidatory way. I warn them they'll get hurt if they attack me, but eventually I just fly away also leaving them behind. I fly over a canyon and next I see a vast savannah. I spot some hunters ambushing some wild animals and preparing to shoot arrows at them and I destroy their arrows mid-air with my sword. Then see a large number of people walking towards some big temple in the horizon. There is a stupa and a couple pyramids plus other ancient and new structures in a rocky plateau surrounded by lush jungle. It is so beautiful that I cry. I am welcomed at a reception where they say they didn't expect me but can accommodate me. They show me the restrooms and leisure rooms and communal kitchens. I am hungry and offer to cook some mushrooms and vegetables I see on the counter, but no one else seems much interested in it. I recognize some faces but most are unfamiliar to me. They then take me along to meet a great old lama I never heard of. He is receiving people or teaching at a very large auditorium with a very high ceiling. I want to get an overview of the event, so I fly up to a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The lama sees me and scolds me for it, because I am disrespecting him by standing above him. I project my chi again, this time not to hurt but almost as a telepathic mean of communication. I am both trying to show him I am a friend and mean no disrespect, but also kind of showing of my powers. When he receives my energy blast, his bindus start emanating a blueish light in all directions, which causes quite a stir among the audience. I feel I better leave and stop freaking out everybody. I wait outside at the lobby and I find Laura there. She says there is a rumour that Rinpoche is arriving there too and as I walk around and between some white columns at an entrance hall, just thinking about what to say when I see him, he arrives and comes down in my direction. I notice that he sees me and he is containing his emotion. So am I. But there is never an opportunity to talk, because he is immediately engulfed by eager followers and disappears in a crowd.

Had a bunch of dreams but was to lazy to write them down. Thought I would remember them. I only remembered the last dream of the night.

My view is third person and I'm in some kind of League of Legends game. The map is transforming into a new map. There are no fountains or defensive towers anymore. There is a hedge building in the middle that I walk to. There are some enemies there that I do some kind of delayed AoE damage ability on. A character from Bleach is there and I escape. New dream stage. I'm in the big room upstairs in our home and look on the projected screen on the white wall. There is a lego female that makes an announcement about the big change in League of Legends. The female is transformed into a lego man with a mustache. I think if it is sexist to do that for a while but decide that it is only natural to have equally many female and male announcers.

Notes: I played a game of League of Legends with my cousin some days ago. I fixed the hedges at my job some days ago too. I haven't thought about Bleach I think. I haven't thought about lego either. In school we watched a documentary about the female roll in history and that she has been constantly badly treated. The announcer in the documentary was a female and my teacher talked about how it would be weird if it was a male.

In my dream it was early morning, I was walking around the room... then the sun rised, and went back, now that was suspicious to me.
Instead of a reality check , I simply used telekinesis to levitate a book, it worked, I realized I'm dreaming.
Then I woke up because my back hurt from sleeping too much.

note:
So I guess I'm finally making some progress...but I got to make it so that my back don't hurt. Maybe work out?
But I guess sleeping at 8-10 am isnt healthy so I have to keep going with my thorough rc technique, which has been unsuccesful so far...
Maybe I could just get up early for a few days then try once ....
Idk...

2nd October 2020

Scraps:

(Forgot most of the dreams but remember having a few long ones. Morning routine didn't really allow for making early notes.)

Some bit where I was in a stairwell of some kind. It was a modern-looking place but the steps themselves were like that part in the Hobbit film (which I watched recently) where Gandalf is investigating the ancient tombs. I remember using the strange spirally square stairwell but feeling wary about falling since there were no railings or anything. Someone else was there with me? It was a brightly lit stairwell and I think the steps themselves were a bright red or red-orange colour.

Some part in space, vague memory of being similar to Freelancer, and a nebulae background. Something about T and some interactions between us? Discussing a game maybe?

bed-time: late, about midnight.
watched video, ate muffin
no alcohol

earlier (4 hrs)

Initially no recall, but reached for recall, associated, and these eventually came through:

+ sitting at cafe table (s) (tall, [round?] seated on stools) with people, new people come, I suggest ordering (tuna?), the table is cluttered with bottles & dishes, I want to drink, there are many partially-finished beer bottles. I do not want to drink from the partially-finished bottles. The bottles are classical transparent dark brown, I see the level of liquid in them. I find one which looks to be full, and I pop the top off with my finger/thumb (it's not hard, like it was already opened).

+ dark place narrow doorways, light switches, touch person (bandid?) hair, fear (Mex?). I feel for the light swtich just inside the narrow and slightly elevated (bottom higher than ground) door, find them, flip them (one works, one doesn't in the next entry way?) Feeling for the light switch in the 3rd(?) entry, my hand strays to below and beyond the hanging-open door which is to my right, and I touch a person's body/hair, it is soft/warm/living, and I'm frightened, I think this may be a bad person or part of a gang of criminals

+ outside, daytime, slightly curving small street, buses come, people come suddently streaming moving from right/uphill to left/downhill , there is some big event, I want to attend, I want to get on bus, I want preferred / privelege location, carrying something, think of carrying it with me, I may be carrying it for a long time in my arms, think about getting a bag then it would be more convenient to carry it, visualize myself walking with the bag containing the [unknown] item

long BTS 4am - 7am+

start doing total "release" - "I give up" and fell myself falling deeper, hold especially my face and eyes totally relaxed, eyes unfocused, hold body totally still, everything still and continually release tension over and over and over, face, eyes, tongue, body, and mind, release all thoughts, no visualization at all (no "river running by my head and my thoughts are draining out", no "breath in energy breath out tension"), just continual total release of everything. It took maybe 10-15 minutes (felt closer to 10) of conscious release effort to the point beyond consciousness.

earlier:

+ I find myself in my CH kitchen, visuals are hazy a bit, it is lit but dark like it is night time, I feel immediately strange, light headed/weak, body feels light, I think this is because I am ill or having a stroke or some sort of sudden health issue, I sink down into a crouch to prevent a fall from fainting, and I'm holding on (with both arms?) to the sink counter for stability, [dream ends, I wake up?]

final waking:

+ with g/f L inside, we are discussing meeting the monster which lives in our closet, right now. I'm quite nervous about this.

+ [DO] Playing CDC Plato empire. Flying around Kaz? There are Romulan and Orion ships. I fire torpedoes, I see that the enemy detonates them. One (orion or federation) ship flies close by, so I engage phasers which are effective at short range. They don't seem to activate, I'm reaching for the "f" key on the keyboard? I start to see some milky white substance heading towards the enemy ship?

I'm in city and talk with dad about a two-wheeled vehicle that he holds. I take the vehicle and drive out of city. The vehicle I drive has two pedals like a bike. I look at the fuel gauge and find that it is being refueled when I use the pedals to bike. When the gauge is full I use the fuel to go really fast. I look on the speed metre and find that I am driving in 74 km/h (46 miles per hour). I think about the dangers of riding this fast, unprotected in a small vehicle. I see a new road to the left that is going into the woods that I ride into. There is a car that almost crashes in to me when I turn in there. There is an old man that I talk with about something. I ride out to the big road again and use up all my fuel when a curve comes. I go so fast that the friction is not enough to hold me in the curve. I manage to still be on the vehicle but it's going into a big wheat field and the vehicle is gliding on the side. It stops just before a big tree and I am safe. I walk with the bike to the road again and try to drive. All the fuel is out so I try to bike it in order to refill the fuel. It's almost impossible to ride the bike and the gauge is not going up. I'm feeling hopeless.

Notes: I though about biking in order to get some daily exercise yesterday. Dad and I was in a shop where they sold different kinds of two-wheeled vehicles a week ago. The road that I was riding when the speed metre was showing 74 km/h has a speed limit of 60 km/h IRL. In physics we talk about friction and centripetal force. There was a question about what speed you could have in a curve without falling of like I did in the dream. The wheat field represents hard work as I finished reading "The Richest Man In Babylon" yesterday. I though about how a man can make money by buying and selling things but that only real value can be created by manpower. If I work and create value I can feel confident and proud over myself.

I'm by Sturkö. My brother and my cousin Sebastian M are also there. We go onto a wooden fleet and we want to make a boat out of it. We get a mini motor that is really fast. We put it one the end of the fleet and we are able to go pretty fast. We have another motor that we use to change the direction.

Notes: I sometimes have dreams about going out into the waters with some people. I dreamt about Tobbe yesterday wich made me dream about Sebbe today.

I'm in Sturkö and flying around. I try to reach the atmosphere as I have done once before. I'm not fully lucid because I haven't thought about what my dream goals are. I fly by the water and I see the water under me split a little when I fly over it. I am amazed by the quality of the dream, the beauty of the water and want it to last forever. I feel the wind over my skin as I increase my speed. I live in the moment and fly in all different positions. On my back, on my stomach with my hands in front of me, on my stomach with my hands along my body, on my stomach and doing swimming motions with my hands. I see my family by a table in front of The Green House and go to them. I know that we are going to eat food but I don't see any. I sit on the wooden bench. The dream disappears and I wake up.

Notes: These are the dreams I yearn for. The feeling of being free and so flexible in your flying. You can go anywhere. Now when I think about it it may have been a FA.

1st October 2020

Dream:

In the van with H. For some reason, some part stopped transmitting power (to or from the engine). The drive shaft? Not sure, but it was still rolling and the engine itself was still going. But the van was only rolling (uphill, somehow) and couldn't accelerate, the throttle did nothing. We were rolling at about 40 in the middle of a town. H put on some hazard lights and other things and steered gently into a side bit stopped the van.

Then something about a vest he had to put on and I was attaching some untinged leather straps to velcro bits? Two other people were here and we were talking to them. They were the ones that told H to put the vest on?

One of these people was an artist and I don't remember what was said exactly, but I turned around at some point and now faced an alcove-type bit and all my paintings were there. I remember mentioning that there really weren't that many (I felt) but this small room still looked cluttered by them.

Dream:

Not sure how it started but some random character was the centre of it all now and there was this "ending of the world" thing going on. Some brightly coloured spheres went up in the air and then different things started happening but I forgot the details. I do remember some people and all their stuff, inside their houses, would get sucked/warped through reality into some kind of dimensional containers. I remember having a feel as if I could control some of what was going on, through a console? But otherwise I was not directly present or involved.

Then some other part after it's all over. There's two anthropomorphic mice and they are wearing motorcycle-gang type leather outfits. They are talking to each other and one of them has a coin about half his size. It's supposedly a 30 cent coin from the USA but he mentions it would be worth several hundred now after everything that had happened. The coin was shiny. There was a filmic or cartoony characteristic to this scene, but I think it otherwise looked realistic.

At some other bit in the middle of a ruined city. I feel more present in this section. I think something about how things didn't need to have turned out like this. I think to myself that if people had been more sensible, even with what was happening, there would be more to return to, or something to this effect. Neo or someone like him is here. He has a mobile phone and there are other people and there's now some kind of stigma (that I intuitively know about in the dream) about using this "old" technology and I remember a travelling section of the dream through or over the ruined city where nobody has guns or advanced technology but are all using improvised clubs.

But this Neo character talks to someone using this mobile phone and the nearby characters get angry at him. He tries to be quick about it and tries to lose their attention? But the dream ends shortly after this I think.

---

Notes:

- I think the two mice were probably a reference to Biker Mice from Mars, a show which I did watch a bit of but not a lot, my siblings had watched more of it, I think. But I haven't really thought about it in years.
- My previous entry also featured motorcycles.
- It's possible that it's just imaginative leaking from daily life, as a few times we've been going past signs that mention motorcycle accidents.
- The transmission/power issue with the van was probably related to a discussion I had this week with H in the van, in waking life.
- The second dream was particularly long, but I lost many details on waking, in part because of motivation issues though.

30th September 2020

Dream:

With my family, visiting some fancy historical complex in America. It's on an overlook type area, atop a generally hilly area. Don't remember the surroundings much.

Mom, dad and T are the family I'm with. I remember we walked into a room with a long curved glass separating the room from a display area. There are highlights from the top and behind the glass is a natural-looking and rocky display, but the main feature is a plaque attached to a rock? We sit down on some of those museum-type sofas and there's a female voice talking about this plaque and/or the display.

Outside, going away from the compound area.

(recall gap)

Then something about a motorcycle gang? And two of its members are causing havoc along a road, in some way that I don't recall. I'm a policeman and have a motorcycle of some kind myself, chasing them through roads and rice fields, where people are working.

(recall gap)

Then in a shower. It's in some old place's bathroom. The shower is a walk-in type, with no frame at all, being only a white plinth. It's centred against a wall of this bathroom, which is quite large. I remember old and darkly stained wood, either in the bathroom or outside of it. Cerulean-blue tiles?

While I'm in this shower, bits of crap start coming off the back of where a silicon seal should be. Some bugs and a small horned beetle crawl out. (The word kabuto comes into mind as I write this out)

Then I get out and someone else is around. Not sure who, but they find a small clam shell of sorts and put it in front of this beetle. It gets in the shell and wears it like armour or something, the other person remarking on this fact. Then nearby is a crab and this other person disturbs it and it crawls away? But the crab is also in a strange sea shell of some kind.

(recall gap)

Vague recall of roaming some mezzanine area and old halls of the place with the bathroom. A bedroom too?

---

Notes:

- Shortly after writing out this dream and getting some things ready for the day, I found a beetle on the hoodie that I was going to wear.
- The whole dream was continuous but the threshold/transition moments seem to have mostly been lost on waking.