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I had a lucid but don't remember it anymore. I went to sleep 1 am and set an alarm 7.45 am and one 9 am. The dream I write down was under the 7.45-9.00 am interval and was very long and genuine with feelings that followed me until I woke up.

I'm on a train with three blonde girls sitting in front of me like the last dream. They talk to me about the military enthusiastically. We have been enrolled to the military. We come to a big house with a general that is talking. We walk out and I think to myself that I should not have went to military training. New fragment. I'm in an old house with Peter and William. I have some kind of superpower that lets me heat my fingers up to very high degrees. There are some adjustments on the house that are needed. I heat my fingers up and put them on some parts of the house so they melt. The melted material works as glue so that I can attach some other material on the last one. After some time a hurt myself because it is too warm. I notice that I only burn myself when I melt the material but not when I heat my fingers without putting them on the material. I find this odd. Peter says something. New fragment. I'm in the kitchen at home and there are many people by the table. My family, cousins and aunts and so forth. They all look at me and mom asks if I can use my fast walk. I do small jumps and I'm able to almost teleport a small step each time I do it. They look at me with amazement. After a while it doesn't work but they are still looking at me as if I succeeded. My sister starts to do a beautiful dance when I stop. She moves in a constant speed over the floor and at the same time she spins around herself in a controlled manner with her hands in the air. It looks a lot like a ballerina dance but faster and more energetic. The people by the table says that it is amazing that I got enrolled to the military and that I'm also able to fast walk as if it was a good combination.

Notes: I didn't make it to the military because of my allergies. I wonder what this dream symbolises. Three blonde girls about my age is a repeating symbol.

(night of) 7-12-20

Maths Test

1) In a large hall with loads of other people from my class. It's the end of the year and I need to take this exam. The room is light and sunny, feels like it must be warm outside. I'm sitting next to my friend, I'm asking him for some help - but he is getting really annoyed with me. I look at the paper, I don't think I listened at all in class this year because none of this is making any kind of sense, graphs and tables and questions about using another symbol for subtraction. So I just fill it out guessing randomly and then go to hand my paper in. Everyone seems to be finished at the same time and the hall quickly empties of all the students. Another friend - a girl this time, asks me how it went - I tell her how I hadn't had a clue and just randomly filled it out. She tells me how important it is and that I NEED to finish the test properly, and offers to go through with it with me. I ask the 'teacher' who was monitoring the exam - though he's really a soldier or sergeant in uniform, and he tells me I have exactly 2 hours if I want to amend anything. I think about leaving - 2 hours is a long time, is it really that important? I could be outside having fun, though when I REALLY think about it I realize I d probably just goof off for 2 hours. No, I should stay and finish this test. I go to the sergeant and ask him if he has another blank piece of paper so I can write the new answers on, but he shakes his head, tells me no. I may as well give up - this is a sign, everything is against me from completing this....

Then a friendly female solider (who was standing at the back observing) comes to me and hands me a paper. So I sit down with my friend who starts talking me through it all. She puts her pen to the paper but kind of stumbles and the pencil sort scribbles randomly. I focus on the paper, on this doodle, and it's actually this beautiful drawing of a tree. I ask her if she just drew this? confused. She tells me - no, the tree was always on the paper

12/7/20

Kostas the Grecian baker is showing off a pumpkin plant growing on the wall of his bakery, talking about keeping the roots on the wall because it is so beautiful. I think he wants to harvest the blossoms to cook. I agree whole heartily and take some video for him.

I am walking down a hallway in a school going to class, all other classes have already begun. No one minds that I am late to the room.
I sit down at an open desk with my backpack. Everyone is already going over a test or homework.
When I sit down the desk is small and I fall backwards with the desk attached to me doing a roll, everyone kind of laughs but nothing is too disrupted.
I realize I am 32 and have been out of school for quite a while. I shout 'hey everyone! This is a dream!'
They cheer and start to get up, the teacher looks defeated. I say out loud that this should be obvious because I am older and have been out of highschool for over a decade, so this is definitely a dream.
I tell the whole class to pinch their nose and breathe to prove they are dreaming. Some are confused, some do it. I do it together with them and prove that I am on fact dreaming. It's a great feeling.
I leave the classroom, there is a group of students standing in the doorway blocking my way. I ask them if this is a door, because it definitely looks like a door. And one by one they move out of my way begrudgingly. The dream destabilizes multiple times in the hallway so I drop to the floor and feel the cool tile with my hands to re-stabilize the dream the hallway comes back into clarity and I begin walking again.
This happens several times in the dream I always drop down and feel the ground or rub my hands as I feel the dream start to collapse and with some focus it rematerializes around me.
While outside I fly around with ease, not as much effort as I remember it taking. I have a sort of iron man pose.
The school is now a 1800's military academy and I see rows of students/soldiers carrying bayonets.
They are scared of me, one of them throws their bayonet and almost hits me as I fly over. I fly higher into the air and over the pond. It's an old campus with a large pond in the middle and many older trees like southern live oaks.
The dream starts to crash again so I land and feel the grass through my fingers,I pay attention to the sounds of the water and the street nearby. The scene comes back but the soldiers are gone. There are creatures now moving faster than vision almost.
I reach out my hands and control one that has gone by me and is almost on the other side of the water.
I intend to control its movement and wind it back like a toy. I see it's movement slow. It is like an animated toyish looking trex that belongs on a playground spring but it is moving around very fast, it moves backwards and forwards and I am content with my control so I let it go.

I tell someone close to me that I am dreaming and they tell me to come with them, we all get in a car and they tell me I have to meet Theodore Roosevelt, they tell me that I'm gonna love Teddy.
He is showing me his collection of cars, one of them looks like a pre-model T but it's combined with a wooden boat. Without saying anything I help him take it down off a rack and fold the wheels down to drive. I complement the antiquity of the collection and tell him the oldest one is my favorite, Teddy is much more informal than I am expecting as he is wearing swim shorts and a safari hard hat. His mustache is large and pointy.
We go into an army bunker with other officers and the dream starts to collapse again. I drop down and feel the cool floor, then the windowsill and start to take in all the details and senses. The dream comes back but the men are gone. There is a redhead now who looks similar to Lucile ball. She is sitting on the edge of a desk in an all khaki military dress.
She is pleased to meet me, I ask if it's really her and she nods. I am so pleased to see her again. I wrap my arms around her lower half and just embrace her. I tell someone else in the room that this is the Prime Matriarch. She is my guide, I have been looking for her for literally months. It is an immense relief to be finally close to her so I just breathe it in for a few minutes.
There are several props and maps around the room she begins trying to show me things while explaining, I don't grasp the meaning of anything she says but the warmth of her presence is comforting.
The dream destabilizes again and I rub my hands together quickly and feel the walls of the barracks.
I hear talking and can feel sensations of the walls but my vision hasn't returned yet. I imagine where I just was and intend to step back into the barracks.

I am now with a couple old friends in their apartment. They show me a collectable figurine they have from one of the Batman cartoons. He undoes the box in a meticulous way to show me the figure inside and puts it all back before going into the other room.
The box falls forward and I grab it to put back on the shelf. Everything has become shifted in the box and I attempt to put it right. But nothing fits the way it was. I try to fold the box back up the correct way and am unsuccessful, I know they will be displeased that I messed up their collectable. They are leaving to go get ice cream across the street I tell them to wait for me while I struggle with the box
I finally give up and admit defeat, I have the thought that they will think I was trying to play with the toy rather than admire the collectable. They go ahead of me to the ice cream place anyway.

I am now in a 50's style diner, it's packed with classmates and people I used to know, they are all at different tables having their own conversations. I gather that I am still dreaming but don't intend to change anything.
I see the girl with blue hair and I tug on it as I walk by her but don't say anything. She follows me around so I talk to her in passing, then a girl I used to date runs up to me like an excited puppy and tries to derail my attention. It works and I give her the drink I have in my hand. The dream starts to crash so I drop to the floor again to re-stabilize.

The diner disappears, I am now in a highrise corner new york flat with large windows looking out to the night time city and only one other guy in it. He looks identical to Mark Sheppard. I tell him that I am dreaming and he agrees with me, I go through several periods of almost waking up but always come back into this room. Maybe 4 or 5 times. He is impressed but attempts to get my name. When he speaks details it is gibberish and the same with me, so he tries to write it down. They look like wingdings combined with korean characters. I describe very clearly what I see.
He tells me he wrote his name. But I cannot read it. He is very amused that we can have normal conversation but certain details seem to be 'edited' in real time from us. He tells me to find him when I wake up.
I write my name down in permanent marker but he tells me it just looks like random gibberish to him. We are both amused that we can't seem to share each other's name. I do manage to piece it together one of the times I phase back into his apartment after partially destabilizing. He says his name is Marc Bilit. I need to find him when I wake up. He is also surprised when I come back into the room. Apparently when I destabilize I just disappear from right in front of him, and when I come back I just pop back into existence. He is very tickled by this occurrence. Marc Bilit. Remember Marc Bilit it's very important that I find him when I wake up. We are working to understand cross communication between dreams.

Rabid Dogs in Tokyo
Vivid - NLD
20/05/20

I’m with a friend walking down a back alley towards a road. The setting is hot brown and dusty and reminds me of Spain. A vicious looking stray dog begins barking at me and comes running over not aggressively but defensively. I quickly jump on a nearby dumpster in fear and now more dogs have appeared all around me. Realising I can’t stay up here forever I get down and carry on cautiously. Now there are loads of big stray dogs coming over and surrounding me. I start to regret coming this way but it’s too late. They are all following me at my heels and barking and growling. I smile nervously but I am scared they’re going to attack and bite me at any minute. There must be ten dogs now! I keep my arms in the air protecting my fingers and making sure they can see I’m not a threat. I keep walking slowly and don’t run as it may provoke them. The pack is now circling me as I move forward and I keep an eye on each dog. I see one in front of me growling viciously. It’s teeth are out and snarling and it has one white eye. It’s quite scary but I remain calm and keep walking.

Later I arrive at a bus stop with my friends and the dogs are gone. We are in Tokyo and the rest of the people at the stop are Japanese. I see a Japanese man crossing the road in a suit, he is hurrying toward us and suddenly falls back on his bum in the middle of the road. He is in pain and can’t move. It’s then bystanders point out in a panic that a bus is coming straight for him! I look and see a bus is coming but it’s not quite here yet. I believe I can make it in time and since nobody else is helping I dash forward onto the road and grab the mans hand. I hear the bus horn sound and know it won’t stop but I have enough time to get him and don’t panic. I pull him up quickly and together we stumble onto the pavement and the bus goes by. The man is panting and relieved. Nobody seems to react to what I did but I feel like a hero.

Later we are in a tightly packed Gondola train. I look through the window and see we’re going higher and higher and now above some of the skyscrapers. It’s Tokyo at night and it’s quiet and eerie and the city below looks futuristic like Blade runner and made up of cold blue metal skyscrapers. I can really see the size of the city from this view point and notice the train system is all above the sky scrapers. Its amazing.

Analysis:
After a recent dog bite nightmares about dog attacks have been common though they usually involve the real dog that bit me. He wasn’t here this time and maybe why I wasn’t as terrified as usual. The second half had some nice travel type scenarios which were fun. Futuristic Tokyo Felt extraordinary to see and it was nice to feel like a hero at the end.

Big giant house

I was in something like mansion. In something like a hallway, I stepped into a bedroom that had a lot of things in it. There was a bed and things all over the place. A keyboard started playing by itself, in just a couple of notes for a few seconds. It did this by itself. I went out of the room and found a long winding staircase. On the main level i walked through a few giant living rooms with old architecture. I found another staircase. But right beside the stairs a panel in the wall was missing. i saw my childhood friend Gary , his brother and a few other people sitting on a couch. I went down a few more steps into the room. Gary seemed annoyed that I was there but some older guy was telling me about the house and that it was haunted.

I said, "Yeah the keyboard upstairs plays by itself." He agreed with me. Several of us left the room. I went back up to the main level. I saw a winding staircase leading upstairs and I was trying to figure out the actual layout of the place. I found yet another large living room this time with 3 pianos. I was going to play one of them when i woke up.

House party.

I was hearing the Dark Tower audio throughout this dream. I'm on Wolves now, Now narrated by some old guy who butchers songs... I was in a living room with Manvi from work. I think she said she was having guests over. Something was spilled all over her table which was in front of a large TV. We both tried desperately to clean it up. After it was clean i sat beside her on the couch to watch TV. i think she was a little nervous because it was me and her. As if the dream responded to her nervousness suddenly her guests were there. There was a guy who was hearing the audiobook audio and asked if it was the Dark Tower. I said yes, and was going to have a conversation with him until i woke up.


Lucid

I was trapped in a house with some psycho guy. He had me in some traps like the movie SAW. He had a wife that told me I was a better fuck than her husband.. and i also have false memories of that act... Anyway they leave the room. I become lucid when i float up out of the traps. I fly up and intend a hole in the floor. I lower into another room. and for a while, I keep floating through more holes in more rooms. Kind of like those lucids where you are in a house and you keep finding hidden rooms and basements inside more rooms and basements and it an go on a long as the lucid. Eventually i wanted outside. I wanted to look for Jamie. I saw a house and went inside. My memory got really foggy and sped up. I found jamie, or a DC that looked like her and i remember feeling the desire to sleep with her. Not sure if we did.

either than that no jamie dreams. not sure if the lucid was her. I hope i get Jamie dreams regularly Like I use to.

Me dad and William are going to a bath house. We actually go to church but they have some new rooms where you can change and there is a big pool there too.

I went to sleep 23 pm and set an alarm 6 am and 7.50 am in order to get some lucids inbetween, it succeeds. I re-sleep many times and I can't remember all of the dreams during the time.

I'm outside my home and have flewn out. I see a house to the right and I think about flying into it and just passing through the wall as I fly. I stop at the last second and walk through the wall instead. It goes much faster than the first time I did it. I feel some resistance but not much. The room I entered is dark and some boys are playing some video games on a TV on the wall. I think this seems pretty boring so I walk through a wall again. The next room has the same feeling as the last one and is also a gaming place. I walk through another wall and in the next room there are many people but they are also playing some kind of game.

Notes: I have to have expectations on what the next room I enter is going to be like. Because I only went through the walls without anything in mind my dream created a room much like the last one.

I'm flying outside and look up to the sky. I see the sun and some stars. I think about flying up to them but decide not to because it's so far away. I fly to the waters and see Monica there. It seems as though she wants to fly so I carry her with me. I think it is going to be heavy but it almost doesn't affect me. I fly over the water and it's a pretty nice feeling.

Notes: I have to have my mind set before I enter my dreams to be able to fly to a star or planet.

I'm flying to the big road out of town. I see a house to my right and fly through the wall. I don't remember more.

I'm outside home and see the missionaries and dad. It's not the same missionaries we currently have. I fly away and feel good.

It's all dark and I can't see anything. I feel my real body and my dream body at the same time. I try to give sensations to the dream body so that I can enter the dream. I wake up.

I'm home in the kitchen with mom and Monica. We talk about something.

Notes: I don't know if I woke up or if it was a FA.

Notes: Now when I have these alarms in the morning that let's me experiment with short lucid dreams I should get some more goals. I want to return to my massage goal and look if I can get some relaxed time through it. I want to be able to reach a star or planet.

12/6/20

I am at a sort of camping house which is located in a campground I frequent. It is a common area that seems like slightly nicer than a large shed. It is run down but charming like a rustic 3rd world b&b.
There are daily cleaners who tidy up the place and the shower always smells nice.
At a certain point I am doing laundry in a common space just casually listening to the sounds of the machines and the outdoors.
There are a few people who hang out in the common room/kitchen, it is familiar to me because I have spent a fair amount of time in this room. Other people have the same sense of ownership. They have special events which can be facilitated like communal meal time or paid tours of the grounds we are on. There may be lasertag? I gather it costs like ten bucks a night for a fold out bed in one of the rooms. It's not fancy but it's dry and warm. I live there for a while with friends from the campground. I meet amazing people and we form a sort of impromptu family unit.

Alex's wedding

Alex the French guy cooking and I become friends at the campground ground, we become best friends during the summer and while there he meets the love of his life. She is called Eve and just as wild as he is.
They hit it off really well while at the campground and are always around each other. At a certain point he asks her to marry him. Very happy for them both I tell him I am ordained and would love to officiate the ceremony for them.
Fast forward to the day of it is something slightly different.
His grand idea is to entertain her and her friend in the middle of a street while musicians set up behind them in a mass of chairs and perform their favorite sonata flash mob style. She is meant not to see the group before they are set up so him and I are attempting to distract them while the musicians show up. I am the main distraction. I am playing an accordion for the first time, I really enjoy how it sounds and remember some of the notes I play while dancing with the accordion like a drunk street performer, I get some compliments on passing.
Cars keep coming down the path and Alex is getting distraught because Eve and her friend see people coming in and setting up behind them though I think they try to pretend not to, to preserve the illusion of surprise. The road was supposed to be closed off but traffic keeps cutting through the parking lot driving past where we are, we move to only blocking one lane.
Her and her friend finally notice something special going on so he abandons the surprise and decides to move to an open part of the parking lot with no road going through it.

The location then turns into a large room like one of those strip mall churches with drop ceilings and tile floors.
She knows what's happening now, but it's ok the magic is in the air, everyone is getting excited now. She is getting ready with her bride's maids and they all have a different bright neon colour on. She is all blue in a tight fitting dress with a Massive blue fohawk, her friends have on, red and green with their hair dyed respectively, with also matching awesome huge hairstyles.
Alex has on a snazzy suit. It almost looks like a mix of period and futuristic style.

There are lines of chairs people are filing in taking their seats little by little. Alex was sitting next to me waiting for the orchestra to all get there and set up along with guests. At a certain point he goes to the doorway to see his fiancé. I think of the tradition and what people will think of him seeing her before the ceremony but he doesn't seem to mind. He stands with his back to the doorway and she comes up and gives him a kiss on the cheek, I am standing close to him, they are both giddy.
He glances to the side but doesn't see all of her.

Things then begin to be quite chaotic.
Not all of the orchestra is here yet, there is uncertainty if they will all show up.
A long tuba flute player is in front of me blowing into his flute thing, obviously bored.
The ones that are there are just casually tuning their instruments making that pre-show cacophony.
The bride starts to freak out a little bit, getting nervous and pacing back and forth at the front of the room. Alex goes up to try to comfort her to no avail.
I now have an open seat next to me. There is an older couple which walks in looking for a seat and asks me if the one next to me is open. I tell them that's the groom's seat but see many open seats behind me I motion towards.
There is a rough not unattractive girl who walks in, and I point to a seat behind me as well. A guy she was flirting with earlier in the dream(at the campground maybe?) is sitting next to the open seat. She mentions 'well at least someone can carry me out of here if I get too drunk' and the guy quietly pumps a 'Yes' fist action. I also gather she has some kind of show she is popular for.

Things are becoming more chaotic now as the couple begins to audibly fight at the front of the room. There is a great disagreement which neither party is seeing eye to eye. The band is all here but are waiting to start playing. As with the crowd, we are all just kind of looking at each other while we watch the obviously distraught couple attempting to make amends just prior to their wedding.

I really feel bad for the couple, Alex is being proud and trying to make light of everything to calm her down. She is upset he is not understanding her, claiming his insincerity is not helping and she's kind of laugh crying at his attitude. She tries to get away as he's following her back and forth in front of the room.
It is really hard to watch.

People in the audience start to bicker at each other, making snide comments and generally escalating the situation.
Things are really going downhill now.
Everyone is standing up and multiple people in the audience are in arguments.
Someone makes a comment to the girl with the show obviously trying to throw shade however she seems oblivious to the criticism. I finally interject and say something for the first time.
'I mean, we all have seen your show, so we know who you are, but have YOU seen your show?'
People gasp and everything stops while people standing in a circle are all looking at her and I now.
I continue 'Now don't get me wrong, I like you, and I'm sure many people here do too. But you should really watch your show. Because if you do that then you would actually See Yourself. Like see yourself how we see you, not just how you see you, and that's not a bad thing. It's just the perspective of seeing yourself the way other people do. That's why relationships are so important, it's a way for us to see each other through each other's eyes, and that's beautiful. That's what is so special about Alex and Eve, they see each other, because they love each other, and it's that completely unadulterated vision which bonds people in this way.'
Everyone is silent but smiling,
The couple is quietly hugging behind the circle of people, they are watching and listening with tears in their eyes while smiling and pressing themselves into each other.
'Its important to see who you really are, or at least to find someone who can really see you, so that you can see yourself, and love yourself, so that you can love each other'
The dream fades with a warmth of compassion in the room though it is quiet after my voice.

Hello New York!
19/05/20
Lucid #1 - (DILD)


I’m stood on a busy city street and it has a New York vibe about it. I see one of my childhood friends and see he is a paper boy. He has finished his round and collects his cash from a man only all he receives is a postcard. He is angry and rightly so. I’m shocked he did all that work for nothing! He walks away and is now in front of me. I go after him but as I leave I realise my foot is caught on a random one strap over the shoulder bag which is now looped around my ankle. I call out his name but trip and stumble clumsily over the bag as I walk forward. I am then out in the city street and appear to have a bunch of friends with me. I am still tripping over the bag which I can’t shake off my foot. I stick my leg up and try to shake it off and say “Bloody hell!” In a rather comical way. I then stumble and catch myself on a spherical stone on top of a wall. It shakes me and now I look at my surroundings and see a massive city square bustling with people. I look up and see towering skyscrapers, neon signs and a large blue universal studios globe hanging at the centre. It looks as if I’m in Times Square? “New York?” I say perplexed surprised to be here. It is in that moment I turn to my friends, still holding the stone sphere, with the bag around my leg and I realise how bizzare all this is. “I’m dreaming aren’t I?” I ask as if I need confirmation from them. I hear their laughs and they all think I’m been silly but I’m not. It all feels odd. I look around again and the whole city looks real and it feels as if I’m really here. I doubt I am dreaming for a moment and then remember the reality check! I look at my hand and see my wedding ring. I close my hand and know if I open it and the ring is gone I am dreaming. It all looks so real though that I doubt it will work. As I open my hand I’m shocked to see the front of my ring has vanished and the ring finger can’t open fully and remains bent and crooked as if glitched. I feel an overwhelming sense of amazement and begin to laugh with shock and joy. I throw my arms up and yell “waaaa-haaaaay!” I’m over joyed that I’m finally having a lucid dream! I remember if I get too excited I may wake up so I quickly rub my hands together to stabilise the dream as I had learnt. I then decide I need to start moving or I risk waking up. So I set off and begin walking with a skip in my step and letting out a shaky breath of air as I try to calm my excitement. The setting has now changed to night time without my realising and I walk down the busy open square probably with a huge grin on my face. “Hello New York!” I say taking it all in. I then see a yellow taxi cab and inside I see a friend and her baby smiling back at me. “Oh it’s you! Hello!” I yell and wave at them finding the oddity hilarious and equally amazing. I don’t know quite what to do with myself and randomly decide I want to skid around on some ice for some reason since there’s so much space. Only there is no ice? I don’t see this as a problem and put my hands out and effortlessly begin spraying ice from my finger tips which seem to stiffen and tingle as I do. I am amazed and a little in disbelief that it worked and how easy it was and watch it hiss out of my fingers and hit the floor. It sticks and begins to spread and twinkles with a frosty sparkle. I hear the friends I was with in the back ground talking. One asks “Do you think I’m dreaming too?” “Yeah probably” another replies. Now my ice is done and I go to skid but it’s already vanishing and not slippy enough to skid on. So I use my hands again and this time cover the patch in water first then add the ice after hoping it will freeze it. It works and now we have a large ice patch to skid on. I jump in triumph and hope I may stay in the air levitating as I do but instead gravity brings my feet back to the ground. It didn’t work but I think oh well one thing at a time. I then skid across the ice effortlessly and beckon my friends to do the same. They do and I see them now. I don’t really recognise them but one looks like the bully character from a series I’m watching. I am so giddy and tell them to keep going. “skid!” They do but they don’t seem to be having any fun and only doing it because I say so. This disappoints me a little and then. I wake up.

Analysis:
So this was my first lucid dream after beginning practice. It took me 9 days to accomplish and to this date is still one of the best I’ve had. It started with me noticing the oddness of the bag that wouldn’t leave my ankle followed by the realisation that I was in New York even though I don’t live there and never actually been either. It was a strange feeling as everything felt so real so how could I be dreaming. Thankfully a successful RC confirmed it and I was jumping for joy but managed not to wake myself up at the same time thankfully. For my first real lucid I had surprisingly good dream control and was able to use ice powers expertly and even used my imagination to solve a problem by freezing water to make it slippy. It was very stable and I felt fully awake within the dream and was an amazing first glimpse at what could be achieved.

Waking Notes:

Stability: High
Control: High
Clarity: High
Awareness: High
Length: Low

Trigger: Noticing Dream oddity
RC: Successful hand check
Length: 3 mins approx.
Goals: To become lucid
Techniques: WBTB, MILD, RCs, ADA,
Time: 6 - 6:30am
Lucid count: 1

- Heavy emphasis on ADA & RCs in the evening
-Slep through the night with Low recall
-Woke from a 6am alarm

I went to bed 11 pm and set an alarm 7 am to re-sleep and get some lucids but I didn't get one. It took a really long time to re-sleep the first time. Probably because I already slept 8 hours.

I'm walking past the school and thinking about how this probably is a dream. I can't remember how I got here. I think I did a RC and decide that it isn't a dream.

Notes: I'm not sure I did the RC but in the dream I thought I did it.

I'm walking home from town and see Hugo walking in front of me. As I enter the big door to my house Hugo turns and greets me. He walks in and we talk about somehting in the outer yard.

I'm in Hemmakväll and looking at their candy. They have small 15 g candy bars for 100 kr (12 USD)! I am shocked because of the high prices.

I'm biking town and drive through Hemmakväll. They have an exit at their back too. I drive back and there is an Indian couple there jumping on my bike. The girl behind me and the man on the back. I drive without using my hands and there are also more pedals for the seat where the man sits. He isn't biking a lot and I do all the hard work. I turn by leaning to the sides. It becomes really heavy and I stop biking but the bike keeps on going. I tell them by every turn which way I'm going and ask them if they want to leave. I'm by the last turn to my house and they want to leave. The Indian man is really greatful and I am just happy to have been able to help them. I walk to my house and see two boys around my age, a bit younger. They are joking about names and I laugh when one of them says the other boys name is Valor. My mom is excpecting the two boys and do a sign to them to come in.

I'm in church with a lot of people.

12/5/20

Some large slave revolt where we all kill our masters/bourgeoisie.
There is a large sword battle at some plantation just after arriving with a large group of tradesmen. It is spanning the outside and indoor docking area. At a certain point I am struggling against an older bald man while holding the bendy blade of a long thin rapier which bends like a fencing sword. Everyone was dressed like revolutionary times though it feels kind of piratey.
There is a family left after everything dies down who are kind of deranged, the father looks like Andy Garcia.
They are making jokes at the end about having an affinity for toes and fingers. The father is almost yelling at the family, but still going along with it in a joking manner.
There is the main master dead or dying pinned to the wall, they exact their revenge in grotesque fashion.
Talking to the daughter about how she likes her french toast afterwards. She mentions wanting to be charged for peanut butter on it but she wants to cook it for herself when the time comes and to let her know.
It feels like I'm at a waffle house now.

I have walked into a neighbor's house down the street for help handling a bunch of things. Including a giant raw turkey on a cutting board. They are mourning the loss of the head of the household who is Dimebag Darrel. The wife is very friendly and she helps me get all of my possessions under control. I leave the turkey outside for a duration of time and when I come back it is missing and someone is complaining that it was just sitting out in the open so they got rid of it. But someone else had donated an even larger turkey so that was very kind. I befriend the daughter in the process who ends up being Aurora. She asks Ben and I to help her perform in front of their church later on. While preparing for the event we realize we don't have any music or lyrics to prepare with. At a certain point I become lucid and tell everyone around me. 'Its ok! I am lucid dreaming right now! It will be fine, we don't need to prepare, I am lucid dreaming it will work out fine when the time comes!' I continue the dream plot to the concert and gather we are doing a sort of 'battle of the bands' style competition. The other duo are doing Christian mumble rap and we are doing a techno-country style. At some point we are dressed up in costumes and have glam makeup on. I have on thick winged eyeliner and a black bob wig. I don't think we ever performed with Aurora but she hung out with us afterwards. She was relieved we did well and she asked me to give her a massage. She sat in a low to the ground gaming L chair. I reached over the shoulders and massaged her shoulders/back for a while. She really enjoyed it but then got self conscious about enjoying it so much. I gather that Ben has left me with all of these people who are kind of like Aurora's posse. No one drives and I am across town not close to my house. I see a Meijer in the distance but it is not the one closest to my house. I decide to start walking back. There are groups of trannies all hanging around outside a dimly lit bowling alley. I gather people think I am a girl.

I'm in a kitchen and Monica is there. They have a rat problem and I am there to fix it. I've got laser vision and I'm able to kill them pretty fast, I fly too. After some time my laser doesn't have any effect and I wake up.

Notes: Monica was here yesterday. I saw a short movie where superman uses his laser vision yesterday.

I went to sleep 01 am and I accidentaly set an alarm 7 am. I re-slept at least 6 times and got a lucid each time. Many of them were short but the lucidity was really high. I wake up for real 9.30 am. It's too bad I can't remember them all.

I'm in my room and about to fly out. When I fly out I fall down to the ground. I see a big wall in front of me and I think about going through it. I start with my hand and I'm able too! I read a DJ where someone became like a jelly in order to pass through so I did the same. My body become half liquid as I pass it pretty slowly. I look at my slimy hand and see that two fingers are gone just like in the series I watched yesterday. I am nervous when my face goes in the wall. My vision becomes very unstable at first but I am able to fix it. I pass through and there is a big office on the other side. There are three girls in my age. I wake up.

Notes: I had at least one more lucid were I passed through a wall but I can't remember it.

I'm just walking around with very high lucidity. I don't feel like doing anything crazy.

I'm in a room with some computers. I have some friends doing some work on them. I lose myself to the dream narrative. There is a man behind a computer and he got some information he is filing out on me. I tell him my first and last name and he puts them in small boxes. I tell him the name of the church I'm in too but I'm a bit ashamed by it at first. I walk to another computer and a friend of mine have got information about some kind of leader. He says that he is able to do some kind of blackmailing with the information or something like it. I get some papers by a teacher and my grades are on them. There is a circle with different grades pointing out from the middle. If the grade is longer to the right it's an A and if it is in the middle it's a C and most to the left it is an F. My grades are spread out on the right side of the paper but I'm worried because I've got better grades than that. I see our physics teacher walk past and I tell her that something is wrong. She doesn't give me a straight answer and walks away. Signe asks if she can look at my grades and takes the paper. I tell her that I've actually got mostly A.

Notes: I thought I remembered much more from my dreams. I am afraid that I won't be able to enter a new lucid if I interrupt my sleep with writing my last down. Next time I will try to remember to write them down and look what happens instead.

I'm going to write it while I feel like it. To strike while the iron's still hot they say. It is better. So much better. After applying what I'd written yesterday that is.

A peculiar feeling. As I of my own did nothing, the fish came upon my bait by itself. It was sort of effortless. Well, more effortless than the previous practice.

I did sort of a comparison between the old and a few while doing something. And the new one was just, it performed better by miles on the first try already. So I decided to do it a couple of times more and see how much I could maintain it.

The first highest number was around 200 (~210). Which was very interesting now that I think back on it. Because I'd counted inside my dream before while lucid. And guess how far up I counted? 200. So I felt like this sort of correlated with how much lucidity I could maintain. The next peak was around 400 (~420). I tried again while doing another activity (shovelling snow) and I maintained it for the entirety of the duration plus before starting it, and after ending it. I ended up stopping at 1200 since I felt like I didn't want to overwork myself this time. But 1200! It didn't take very long to get such a huge leap of improvement.

One weakness though, of this is that I'd need to vocalize internally or externally the number. So I'm having a tough time maintaing it as I type away these words. And another is when I may be doing mathematical calculations or something, it feels like it interrupts or overlaps with the counting of numbers. How would I overcome these weaknesses?

(talking appears to be easier to maintain than writing)

Dreams:

LDs ( 3 FA, stayed lucid)
School, english style wooden old one
Noticed my mother and father there
Very vivid.. checked fingers... 5 then stared into 6 slowly, persistent dream
FAS
- 1 in different spot of the school, near 3 chairs
- 1 in some sort of apartment building that included roommates but they weren't present
- 1 in bed
Meditated 2-3 times (Didn't have a dream goal). I spun around 2 of the times

I can't remember if I had another dream as I had to get up pretty abruptly.

12/4/20

Joel is showing off Chiang Mai locations. There are fragments of food and countryside businesses as we hop around a map of Thailand. It is borderline cartoonish at times. Too many fragments.

I was dreaming then suddenly walking into a bar/poolhall/game center which happened to be close to my house. I was excited and full of energy to be there. There are fun lights and awesome smells, the place is packed with people. I was moving quickly through the crowd just exploring the entire place. It felt like a new well financed business which had everything entertainment you could imagine. People my age were just hanging out drinking, playing games and the mood was elevated. I begin singing at the top of my lungs like chester with a couple other guys. It sounds good and we rock out while people walk around us just causally listening and bobbing their heads.
At a certain point I find Nathan in there so we hang out some, I want a beer so we go to the bar in the center of the building. I don't remember arriving here so I ask the guy bartending like 3 times if this is really happening because I didn't think any of it was real. He laughs and assures me it's real, telling me I seem to be having a really good time. I felt like it was a dream the majority of the time.

I walk with Nathan down the street to go smoke or something, he is staying at a house which is close by.
It was like 12:50 when we left to go to the other house. When we finish we walk back and it is like 1:15 when we get there. All the lights are off and no one is there but the owners, they are still happy to have us in. They let us in and I am confused. It was so packed and now it is completely empty.
They inform us they do close at 1 due to it being a new business and having so many people in one place at once. It was only the second day they had been open and it was incredibly successful.
We all hang out with the owners for a while.
It is a sweet business. Diner food, arcade games, karaoke, pool hall, and a fancy bar in the center to boot. I ran multiple laps while they were open. Kept finding myself in the upstairs 'employees only' area. The woman owner saw me up there once and didn't seem to mind, just casually pointing out which way I should go.
Hang out with the owners talking about the business for a while, they are really cool and laid back.
While talking I gather there are now two couples or at least another guy and girl with the couple who own the place. The girl owner is sleeping on a cot face down and the new girl who looks like the brunette from Raised by Wolves makes a comment about how her friend always sleeps in super late because she gave her extra NyQuil. While giving me a knowing look. I gather she has killed her quietly somehow and is aiming to take her place. (This is what happened in the show, no spoilers). There is another guy I don't really recognize, he has a shaved head and bright grey eyes, he is in on it as well. I don't understand why any of this is happening so I just quietly excuse myself. In talking to them as I am leaving I must have filled out an application to work there as it is on the counter of the bar. I consider taking it with me so I am not connected to this thing which is obviously about to blow up. But decide that may look suspicious so I leave it where it was.

It's the next day and I am walking back again, I end up in a large complex which is a public space built to be a hangout spot. It is a large indoor dome structure with a water feature on top of a pile of boulders in the center. It is well landscaped and looks ritzy and well lit. Perfectly manicured little odd shapes of grass and perfectly fitted red brick paths all leading around the area. With concrete circular tables and benches scattered about.
I walk around and find a food court area with music coming from it. It is decorated like a 30's style speakeasy, brass rails, wooden carved accents, large tan fans, black and white tiles, the works. Just past a Starbucks there is a stage with a guy and a girl playing instruments singing. I feel like I've heard the song before, it sounds like some kind of folk music, they look like people from my old church. This whole thing has a very Sunday afternoon vibe. There is a large crowd of teenagers sitting in the audience watching. Only half paying attention because, you know, teenagers. I try to walk around the back of the crowd to get out the side door but there is just a mass of people mostly girls all sitting asses to elbows blocking the walking path with their stools and tables.
I walk around and in front of everyone to leave the building.

Walking back down the strip mall it is the next morning and I am super tired. I realize I have been barefoot and look for a pair of my shoes in the mass of pairs of shoes that have been left in front of the poolhall. I find several pairs that look like mine but none of them fit. Before laying down the 'other' guy shows up out front. He has a concerned look on his face but he attempts to make smalltalk with me. He mentions working for a launch provider which is close to here and they have a couple satellites to launch in the next few days. I am not really interested and don't want to talk to him much longer. I have a bed/my big winter sleeping bag rolled out and I try to get some sleep on the sidewalk while people are walking/driving by. While falling asleep I see a group of three cops standing on the sidewalk down the way from me. I pretend not to notice them and begin to fall asleep in the dream.

I wake up to a sort of middle aged hispanic woman getting my attention standing over me, I immediately tell her I was about to scuttle off, I am still fairly drowsy. But I notice she is a police officer, she asks if I am 'No-ha' I say yes and shake her hand from laying down. I ask her name and she says 'In-ki-ya' her friends call her. I already know exactly what all of this is about. But I play dumb and look around to notice there are now 6 or 7 police cruisers of various designs on the street now. I say 'Whooa, what's this all about?? I see a lot of cop cars, and one really messed up car' then I notice another car/van which looks like it has been completely stripped for parts, no doors or wheels or anything sitting in front of the shopping mall, (I have been sleeping in front of the pool hall where it all went down apparently).
I put on my best clueless face/attitude not wanting to get involved. I gather she's not buying it and already suspicious of me.

I am traveling to Doug's house with G, we've never visited him before so we're very excited. When we get there he is overwhelmed to see us. We are all hanging out around him in his living room. We're all nude and his hair is longer and comes down over his eyes. It's casual and I gather we're all kind of passively watching a ritual taking place in the corner of the room. It opens up into a rocky cave and in the distance I can see a burning monument of sorts. It kind of looks like a mini greek colosseum with life-sized figurines all holding hands around the border, like the Indian Circle of Friends sculpture. The flames are yellow and white but not consuming the structure. I understand what we are witnessing is very important and thousands of years old. Doug is talking about people he knows who have trouble understanding their own reality. I make a remark about 'how many people get to see a 5,000 year old ritual, in a cave, while nude?' it is comforting and reassuring to watch.
We are now in an oversized tub, almost like a hot tub mixed with an overly large Victorian footed porcelain tub. We're all sitting around the edges. There is a squid like octopus swimming around. Everytime it touches me it latches onto my hand, the suckers kind of hurt and it doesn't want to let go.

I'm sort of coming up with a new awareness training idea. I decided to write it out so it'll I'd remember to apply the idea later on.

The problem with my old system of rating my awareness was that I had to take pauses in between to measure my score. This sort of gave pauses in between what I did that gave more room to lose awareness.

I noticed that during the day, about 80%, I'd find myself (automatically) regaining awareness or doing sort of what I did every 3-4 events. So It's sort of like a regaining the present awareness. There were some times where I'd lose this 3-4, where I'd become emotional or something like that. I did my best to stay aware and notice what the source of the sleeping autopilot and... It's something like attachment I guess. To emotion or things, past or future? I don't know exactly. It's like not the act of feeling it but how I react to feeling or events. It's sort of like the un-attachment that skipper was talking about probably. But I guess I'm discovering it or rediscovering it through the hard way by experience.

So my idea for a new awareness training is to just count the number of times - well two ideas perhaps. Count the number of times I got unaware or I got aware. Use that as a score. I will have to test it out and see how it goes. But the idea of counting the number of unawareness isn't really new, it's just like the prayer beads that monks use to count the number of times they lost their mindfulness or something.

But the other problem I had with the previous practice was that I needed something to write down my score. And it might have been not ideal, as I was anchoring this increased awareness to writing, and I can't always have time or situation to note it down.

Is it more important to notice the surroundings or the emotions? Maybe the noticing of emotions should be - or better be described as noticing attachments?

BUT I also need a way to break the cycle of attachments on top of that. Say, to stop the mind from wandering after getting distracted- or like simply a new default mode network or thought process to implant after noticing myself getting attached?

One at a time? Or both at once? Perhaps cycling them would be nice. Practice one on some days and practice the other on the rest.

Or maybe just do nothing at all - just let things unfold on it's own. And all I need to do is to just- ...be?

Dreams
School ukulele May 4 hr ish
AP BED re outside storm vivid

12/3/20

I am with a group of people who all feel like outcasts of some kind. Marc Ruffalo is with us and at one point he throws a bus as hulk with us on it for rapid transportation. We are a sort of mutant club with all varying abilities. I can shoot web from my wrists like Spidey but I don't believe I have any of the other abilities. There is a part where the goblin is attacking me and I keep shooting web at his face. Only the web is thin and spindly like a normal spiders web and not doing anything besides making him webby, not like thick Spidey web. Goblin is somewhat inconvenienced but not overly upset with me.

I am at a general country store and notice they have fireworks for super cheap. Like 1¢ bottle rockets and 5¢ firecrackers. I want to buy some but don't have any money. It's such a great deal.

I am watching a movie with some mother, I think it is someone I used to work with. Her
son gets home, he bought a pack of fireworks.
When he hands them to me I notice they are burning like an ember. Out of caution for them not exploding I douse them with water. While by the sink I accidentally turn on a burner on low and burn up a towel that was sitting on the oven. It smokes up the house but no one noticed until just the corners were remaining. There is a plasticy synthetic smell in the air.
The father of the family gets home, he doesn't know I am there and sees me before his family and isn't very happy to see me. He offers to drive me home, I am grateful. While driving the mood was somewhat tense and I noticed we get off on the wrong exit driving towards the city rather than my neighborhood.

Wartime we are being shot at. I am with friends and we have a goal to accomplish by setting certain checkpoints. They are small white buttons on the battlefield that we need to active one at a time. The last one my friend gets shot up pretty bad he can't move very well and I am tearing apart some raw chicken over the button but cannot set the checkpoint. A guy is standing maybe ten feet away shooting at us. I have no more bullets so I pull out a chef's knife and yell like a crazy person while charging at him. He gives up before I get to him and throws his gun away. We set the checkpoint and the war is over. I bump fists with the guy who gave up as a sign of good faith. My friend is fine. My arms are shot up and really sore but everyone lives.

I am in an older elementary school after-hours. There is some sort of biden campaign event going on that I am not totally connected to, I don't see anyone involved but know it's happening.
When helping clear up one of the classrooms I go into a small supply closet
My parents are in there as well as other workers. My coworkers from the spa I used to work at come in all in the same uniform.
I say hey old fam but none of them recognize me or acknowledge me really, I am wearing blue jeans.
My old boss who I had a falling out with walks in she has a mask on and a sideways red painters hat. I am wearing a mask and realize we are all in too close of quarters. She starts talking to my father and I excuse myself out of the small room.
I accidentally knock her knee with my backpack when walking around her, she rubs it like I hurt her and I leave the room without her recognizing me.
I had fallen asleep in another room and was very drowsy when collecting my things, and I kept picking up other people's things. There are three hispanic black girls who are my friends in the room. I keep trying to leave but keep going back into the room because I seem to think I forgot something.
I remember where my phone was, only when I pick it up it is purple and has a girl's name on it. It is the same as my phone but looks like someone else's. I am confused. When looking for it the girls are gathered around helping me they are confused too. Then I notice my phone outline in my jean pocket. I don't tell them and put the phone back in its place telling them not to worry about it. I am sure I will find my phone somewhere.
I am very drowsy and nothing is making sense. I go to leave again and the older woman teacher tells me to give my jacket back to the other girl. I am confused but then realize she had given me the tight fitting jacket to wear because I was cold. I apologise again and take it off to give back to her. I also have a backpack on I am not sure is mine. Severe imposter syndrome combined with heavy 'i just woke up' drowsiness. They all like me, like they look up to me but I am acting like an idiot. One of them thinks I live in texas. I tell them where I'm from is not far from here. I spend a while looking for my car in the parking lot though I know I rode here with my parents.
At a certain point I am chasing my cat through the hallways, only it's dark and I don't think it's my cat once I catch it.