non-lucid

2022 June 20th

Some in-line notes too.

Dream:

I'm walking through a small town that could be somewhere in my native country. Small houses, ground floor only. Trims and so on as expected. I'm with dad and cousin T. It's daytime, probably morning. Dad is taking photos and as we get to the top of a hill in the town, I see a somewhat breathtaking view of distant rolling hills much like this one, with pink cherry tree plantations here and there, interspersed with some vivid green leafed trees of similar size.

I tell dad he should hurry up to get to where I am, so he can take a photo. As time passes, the landscape or the point of view seem to change (I might be walking down the other side now) and I fear he won't be able to get a clear and unobstructed shot anymore. I lose track of my cousin. At some point she was telling dad about these aliens that live here with the villagers, whom she calls "Aarkvaads", but dad misunderstands that those would be the villagers rather than the aliens.

(recall gap)

Me and dad arrive at some rustic old restaurant. We climb up some stairs and take a seat at a table by the stairs and by a window. Daytime seems consistent with before but it's relatively dark in here due to the windows being a bit short in height. A guy that reminds me of G from school but who is a unique character, comes up to the table; he's our server. (Can't recall the dialogue)

I need the bathroom now and make my way down two flights of the wooden stairs. At the bottom, I'm not sure if I'm getting into the kitchen area by accident, but I go a bit further and find it is indeed the bathroom area. There's no outside light here, it's dark apart from some poorly placed and dim fluorescent tubes that are clearly too old. I think dad comes down too also looking for the bathroom. I go into this somewhat overly large and polygonal shaped room past a glass door that is barely frosted for privacy. The toilet is adjoining the doors' wall and the area feels dilapidated and unclean. I get ready to have a wee. I'm wearing my normal grey work trousers and it feels cumbersome to deal with everything.

Then I somehow start worrying about the fact that dad can probably see through that pointless frosting. I think I have a short wee and then give up, then leaving the room with dad going past me to use the room himself. Something happens and he slips I think? (Mostly comical in nature if anything)

Then, I'm at the mid level of the building, where the entrance is. I think I want to go outside? It's bright and different from before outside.

(recall gap)

I am outside and the restaurant is located at a sort of edge of a sedimentary cliff. Yellow-ish sandstone. It's sandy out here and there's no vegetation to speak of. It's an immense valley with sharp sand-dusted peaks. The server from before is out here, having a break or a cigarette. He's some kind of furry "bat boy" now, slightly taller than me. At some point earlier, I think there was something about a UI thing about choosing how he looked. Red is heavy to his colour theme and his fur almost looks soaked in dark blood, but not wet.

We talk, or I overhear something. Something about a rebellion? Other locals that are with him have assault rifles, Kalashnikovs probably.

Before this I think I actually had a bit of a walk around. There's this large plaza and some kind of Christian procession ritual is taking place. The entrance to the temple is where they want to go, and that's also (an?) the entrance back into the restaurant? They are standing still enough and I make my way through the very dispersed but neatly laid out small crowd, though as I get closer to the large doors the main ritual seems to be moving forward too. Not wishing to interrupt anything, I stop myself next to a tall older woman. It's daytime, about noon. The plaza reminds me of that in front of church of L. The walls to the side of the entrance are smooth eroded sandstone which bulge out every so often. (In retrospect, some of this sandy/rocky scenery reminds me of James' realm in Sacrifice, and as a God, James is perhaps more Christian in a sense than the other four)

Now, when the rebellion thing is starting, the sky goes dark and there's a heavy blue tinted atmosphere, and for lack of better description, the stench of magic is in the air. I'm in a party with sibling T and notice he's at a location called "Crystallarium Caverns", not at all the valley location I'm in. He doesn't realise that we're in different locations when we talk via chat. Fighting happens around me and I look up over the temple/restaurant and see there's a female spellcaster. She seems to be wearing something slightly harlequin-like. She has an enormous book that in width would be the height of four people, and I see her enounce some kind of runes which make a visible effect coming out of the book as she speaks each one. She throws down fire magic at the rebels and around me.

I start to get sick of her spellcasting and somehow reach my way up to her book (distortion of scale/point of view?) and then I hurl it down toward a much lower tier of the valley, intent on making it land in some water. But she uses some kind of TK to slow the books fall and it doesn't reach or touch the water. I think to myself that I should have jumped with the book. But as it rises back up, I can read its runes on a page now. Each page is organised as a kind of mandala with a number of circumscriptions for each rune. I try to read them aloud myself but I'm not sure about the pronunciation.

I think eventually we beat the spellcaster woman, but the rest of the dream recall is lost after this point.



Notes:

- This dream was particularly vivid and part of that may have been due to the fact that I barely managed to sleep the two preceding nights, on one of which I felt to have had a brief dreamless sleep, which always makes me feel odd for the rare times it happens.
-- Not sleeping was mostly on account of being ill.

- The runes in the book remind me a bit of the node tree in FFX, which I've seen recently after this dream, but given that they appeared more like mandalas it may have been an intrusion either from a discussion I had with my mom or from something relating to Jung. Whatever the source, I have thought about trying to replicate the layouts I saw in the dream.

- G and his bat form reminded me of Troy from BL3 for some reason. I think something about the posture and a drawing I did of Troy some time back. It's odd that it's the second time in not too long that I've dreamt about a bat character. Part of it may be an intrusion from the fact that someone's character I'm drawing lately is a bat, but it didn't feel especially related to that. (Different gender, different morphology/species)

- In the second half of the dream, there was something about the Aarkvaad aliens that was relevant to the context, but through my recall of the dream, I couldn't really pick it back up and so I'm not sure how they actually related. Searching for Aarkvaad online didn't really yield anything interesting and past the dream's context is probably a mish-mash word that sounded alien enough.

- The temple plaza felt very much like being in front of the actual church that it likely had inspiration from, which is interesting for the fact that I had that dream not too long ago where I was at a much more accurate version of said plaza/church. There was something more ancient and mythological about this dream's temple and the procession ritual that was taking place seemed to relate to that. In the dream part of my modern waking behaviour took hold where I was able to just go through the group without caring too much about the effect I might have on it, but as the ritual seemed to begin, my behaviour reverted to something more alike what I always learned to do, which in a sense is to give them space and not get in the way. I think as I walked there I thought about people who are careless and those who care too much, perhaps partly reflected in my responding behaviours.
-- Also curious to the ritual aspect was the fact that I was an outsider to it, even though to me it felt very familiar and normal. I just had no place in it myself; perhaps a symbolic expression or metaphor in itself.

Some small in-line notes and such.


2022 June 13th

Quick note to self, this was also the date of the appointment.

Fragment:

(left recall too late)

I'm in a mountain town or such. It's sunny, mostly clear. At some point my friend K calls me, but I think I miss her call.

Later in the dream, something about water. Not as sunny now? I think I speak to K on the phone now, but it's like I'm also next to her too? (vague recall) She tells me that she wanted to invite me to a party before, and I apologise for missing the party. She then tells me that her dog G has died. I say that I'm sorry to hear it, and I hear her voice breaking a bit and I feel myself close to crying too, knowing very well what her pain will be like. We talk about something else for a bit.


2022 June 15th

Fragment:

I'm in a street, I have a dog with me. She looks like S but has worse behaviour and at one point "play" bites me, a bit too hard on the left wrist. I look for a wound but don't notice any, and then I think about how it actually didn't hurt all that much.

(gap)

Someone else was present in the dream up to this point, though now I think I'm on my own with the dog again, at a place that is supposed to be like a veterinary practise. A vet person gives the dog an injection. After about ten seconds, the dog is numb and she can't really move at all. I pick her up and put her on a conveyor belt thing. There's a dark atmosphere/mood. The dog is here to be put down. I feel sad, and also think that it's a shame she couldn't have had better behaviour.

(there had been more context to the situation but these were the bits of recall I lost in the gap)


2022 June 16th

Scraps (DFLN):

Many dreams. Only recall one dream where I was in a dark room with zombies. They seemed slightly aggressive, but not entirely.

(Although I was playing 7d2d at the time, I also became ill with Covid after this)

2022 June 2nd

Dream:

I'm at some kind of garden/arena place. A quite big round building, at any rate. There's a feel of old home to it. Some walls are white?, with I think a blue trim running along some of the edges. The exterior perimeter is decorated with aquatic and palm motifs in small tile mosaics. Vivid colours. It's sunny.

I walk around until I get to an entrance to the central area that goes up and in. As I walk around, there are grape-like husks that I'm stepping on, they're a dead blue, but nice somehow. It took me a while to realise they're the fruits of some of these plants. Some kind of leafy canes, which arc with the weight of their fruits. The other side has small banana things instead, but both plants are the same with different fruits. On the upper area inside, I remark to H who's nearby, that it looks like one half of the garden is one fruit and the other half is the other fruit, and there seems to be a clear divide.

I feel that this could be related to sunlight and shade. The grapes on the plant are actually white grapes (green), unlike the blue-ish husks on the floor. I remember picking and holding one. I think I ask H if he's tried one of the banana fruits. I'm not sure if he should eat it.


2022 June 6th

Fragment:

(Last bit at the end of a longer dream. Didn't write recall early enough.)

I'm with H and he's kind of doing his own thing, and I'm descending a vertical mineshaft he's made, digging my way downward through its sides. It's a mix of Minecraft and BL. At the bottom I find myself in a dark but vast cavern. I can still see fine. I see sapphires close to me and I tell H to look at how many there are, an almost 5x5 area on a wall. Then, I find a waypoint like those from Diablo II. I think to myself about how rare this area is to find naturally generated.

The cavern has a mostly flat ceiling and I can't quite see the bottom, but pillars at irregular intervals make a kind of vaulted cavern ceiling. (Similar to some BL cave generation)

In the distance, I see more sapphires around and eventually after walking along a sort of suspended highway, avoiding some annoying mobs along the way, I find an underground stone fortress which is mstly made of stone brick and which has patterned features with encrusted sapphire ores.


2022 June 8th

Scraps:

I'm in a village or town. Like rural areas around old home. I'm passing in front of a building where lots of people gathered. They're all queueing or waiting.

Some other bit, with mom and H. Something about driving. A crossing? A woman in a dress?



Notes:

- There was something yin/yang about the first dream's location but it also reminds me of places and experiences from my childhood.

- At the time of the second dream, me and H had been playing Minecraft again a fair bit. I'm not entirely sure why there was a D2 waypoint in there but it may have been because of the dream that Hilary shared on DFLN just a week earlier or so, as Diablo hadn't really been much on my mind otherwise.

- Inside the cavern areas, there were openings above that let some natural light in. There were interesting light effects, though even so I couldn't really see a bottom to the pillared cave areas at any point.

2022 May 31st

Dream (DFLN):

I'm in Netherstorm, in Outland. It is an entirely dream-generated version of it but thematically consistent. I think about how it looks different with "the revamp" and I see people talk about it on a chat too. I go down a long path on a floating island with a downwards tilt, which seems to get steeper. The path curves around and goes into a cavernous area. There's an artificial pit that goes deep into the void and there's a presence here, who speaks. The structure in the pit here is very much like something right out of Icecrown Citadel, just sort of inverse.

There's an ominous feel, though I do not feel worried myself. I think we discuss something about the world. Eventually, I leave, back up the same path.

Then, I wake up as a white woman, in a bed in a room that's somewhat exposed to the outside. Some kind of global event has taken place that froze the vast majority of people in the world, who then, like me, wake up seven years later. I find out by talking to someone I think that all of us who had this happen, have become undead. More is explained to me (but I lost recall of it) and there's something about a king Henry. At several points, I question this a little, because I can't really tell that we are undead at all. And eventually my body is different/changes again. (but I don't realise while dreaming)

Eventually, wandering the streets of this city, I come upon a group of people. They're beyond a wall slightly shorter than I am tall, but the wall also isn't that short (dream weirdness); the group of people is chanting as a group and they all look like cultist hobos. I pass through the wall like a ghost and they are surprised, and then I start shaking a pepper grinder ritualistically and they become very frightful of me and what I'm doing. I walk slowly towards them, and I comment out loud, almost laughing, "this is superstitious non-sense!" and they eventually run away in complete fear.

Just nearby in this small street, which could be Japanese for how tight it is and some of the styling/layout, I meet Patrick Stewart by the entrance to a house. Patrick seems annoyed by what I did, but is apparently not holding it against me. We talk about something. I get the impression that he is not undead like me.



Notes:

- Writing this nearly a month later, the visuals are still pretty good, fairly memorable dream.

- I made a sketch of the ICC pit shortly after having had this dream.

- The undeath seemed to be like that which happens in the Souls universe.

2022 May 27th

8:11
Fragment:

Talking to my friend A on Discord, via voice. Eventually, she shows me a handmade skullie she got. It looks simple but nice. She looks a bit like A, H's sister. Then a bit later, she also shows me a handmade handbag, looks knitted. Again kind of simple but also looks good. And finally, she shows me a second handbag, also handmade, apparently by a friend of hers on Etsy. It has a dark tanned leather exterior and a silk-like fabric interior. It looks quite complete and is somewhat amazing really.

Her dad seems to be there too. He's got curly hair and beard, looks kind of slim. I feel a bit bad that I know what they look like, but they don't know what I look like.

Then, I'm there myself, but it's actually more like my old home. Soup is being made by H. He's making a traditional soup but there's no kale in it and I complain a bit.

(rest of recall was lost)

9:30
Fragment:

Half like a police drama. Sometimes I was one of the leading characters, and other times just observing. A man and a woman. (on waking, the format reminded me of Wire in the Blood, but taking place in America)

The female character started off depressed and by the end was very jolly and happy and they lived together as a couple in the end.


2022 May 30th

Disjointed Dream (DFLN):

I'm at Tanaris desert. I'm going around near the town, I think at one point I'm lacking the level for mounts but at another point I do have a mount.

(gap)

I'm in Stratholme, where I'm farming Rivendare for the mount, and it drops twice in a row. I am able to use the mount in the instance.

(gap)

I'm in Russia. Some kind of prisoner exchange is taking place. The prisoner our(?) side is releasing is a soldier, and the Russians are releasing to us a guy who I don't personally really believe deserves to be released anyway. I feel bitter about his release.

When people speak in Russian, I can read subtitles, when I can remember to have my "real time" translator on.

2022 May 23rd

Unknown time
Fragment:

Something about going with H to meet up this businessman for some kind of financial assessment. Looks a bit like Goldfinger? We drive there I think.

8:15
Dream:

I'm at a version of our home. A detached house in the middle of some woods. It's really dark outside, realistically pitch black. We have a lorry outside that we have been loading stuff into, for moving house. I go to it and check inside. I'm attacked by Meowth (Pokemon) who jumps off the lorry top to attack me. I grab him and threaten to break his neck if he doesn't tell me who else is here. He says something and I understand Jessy and James to be here too.

I have a quick look around outside, but as I do, I see a red glow. They've gotten in the lorry and are going to back it up. I try to open the passenger side door, but a slightly fat man keeps trying to shut it so I just start slamming it open and shut so that he might lose grip, having no such luck. I decide to try and jump up on the bonnet. I do, and then I'm sort of sat there looking at the both of them. I think the other one is actually Jessy. I have my boots on and I use them to smash the two bits of windshield, then putting my feet through and starting to kick the crap out of the two of them, one foot each. This is all happening as they're reversing and driving around, now onto a roundabout of all places.

I see three Humvees with military police with blue arm bands inside the cars and I repeatedly yell for help from them as I keep fighting the burglars with my feet, trying to indicate with my hands that they've stolen the lorry. The thieves are different people now (both male).

The military police finally take position and aim at the lorry. I'm still kicking the thieves like hell. The police take their time but eventually start shooting. I take to opportunity of the shots hitting the lorry to somehow swing myself around and change the centre of mass for the lorry, making it topple on its side, passenger side at the bottom. One of the thieves gets out from the top and the police shoot him dead, making me briefly think about how close to me that was, but not dwelling on it.

Possibly moving the corpse or something, I sort of get into the cabin from the top and start kicking and stomping on the second thief and yelling "Get the hell out of my truck!" and such like.

Eventually, the thief gives up and is arrested. I'm not fully content with the outcome, having wanted them both dead, by my hands, or feet as it were.

I check the back of the lorry now. Inside, the contents have all gone and there's just a long and thin compressed cardboard box that everything should be in, though nothing is actually inside. Eventually, I get back home and I'm talking to H about it. I ask if we can't get some insurance payment for all the stuff we lost but he says we haven't got any. I am disappointed but say with confidence we'll manage somehow.

9/10:00
Fragment:

Subway, with someone. Some kid bumps us, he wants company? Then we get the kid to come round to some house or piano shop place, and we show him my dad playing the piano. Later I/we return to the same place, but dad doesn't remember the moment from before when it's brought up.



Notes:

- The long dream about the theft wasn't really a bad dream but it was quite vivid and somewhat intense.

- Probably one of the most fun dreams I've had in a while, as even in the dream I did quite enjoy stomping on those thieves repeatedly. Even so, at the end I did feel very disappointed about losing so much of our stuff and being able to get nothing back for it.

- My feet are rarely weapons of choice unless a situation really calls for it and I have my boots on, which in fairness is always these days.

2022 May 20th

Fragment:

Mix of NMS and Satisfactory. Exploring planets and looking around. Some general funkiness of generation clipping into itself. Then I build some gas tank thing on a planet and see about building a smoke stack on top, I think H is commenting something to me about this.

Then I'm in the bathroom with H sharing a (false) memory of how they're going to add warp rifts and super drills and I figure they'll let you get infinite resources from procedural planets in this way. (I partly live some of this as I imagine the false memory)


2022 May 22nd

Dream:

Some bit in a town. Dawn, or dusk, clear sky, quite beautiful colours. Slightly Arabic feel to the area, buildings painted fully in white. I'm walking around, or sort of spectating as an observer perhaps. There's a king who has a knight, possibly me. The knight has reached some kind of seniority and they talk as they walk together. Some kind of relationship subtext? Holding hands together?

Then some bit in a fortified area, like a castle or barracks in the middle of this town. False memory of having trained here and such. I think it's night at the moment. There are many devices and traps part of the training course. Some bellows that are pumped with your feet that you must stand by or jump on? I talk to H about them (as if outside this area?)

(recall gap)

Like Freelancer now. The spacescape is more realistic and reminds me of remastered Homeworld. Most of space is dark in this area. There's a nebula nearby, large orange glow coming from inside. There are remnants of large framed mega structures insides, made more obvious by shadows cast by the glow, despite the otherwise foggy nature of it all. There's other debris in there too. I fly towards the nebula in first person on a ship. I fly past one of those asteroid stations, possibly like Ruiz base, in Omega-41? I don't think too much of it, but something is weird.

I notice there's a clone of the base very close by, the name on the clone sounds like the right name, while the first one had a name like Event Spawner 03, which makes me think of something having gone wrong with a story or mission script. As I go into the nebula and into or through one of the mega structures, I start noticing some bio-metallic creatures, very geometrically shaped. They're small and start approaching me in numbers, turning into swarms eventually, starting to seem dangerous now as they keep approaching. So I turn around and head towards the station from before. I try to dock, but I get confused with the asteroid base entities. Anyway, after I manage to dock, it looks like a Rheinland station inside, and I walk around and maybe look at some equipment and stuff.

(recall gap)

Then something at a very different place, much more fantasy like. (unfortunately, recall was lost)



Notes:

- Two space dreams. At the time I had been playing or had recently played NMS after a long break from it, so that was a likely cause for them.

- Dreams based on Freelancer and generally spun off general space sci-fi stuff I am particular about remain amongst the most interesting non-lucid dreams I have, certainly when discounting any further analysis like symbolisms and such. The general feeling of reality in these dreams tends to be fantastic and despite any weird stuff that might happen (such as the clipping, which happened in another space dream too, possibly after these), I often get a really strong urge to want to revisit these. I don't know what it is about them exactly, but I think part of it is that they are so refreshing when I think about stuff I have otherwise already mapped out fairly well in my head, especially in the case of Freelancer where I know most of its "Sirius sector" universe like the back of my hand.

- On that note, having fully played through the remastered Homeworld a couple of months ago was a great contribution to this mental content, as the reworked spacescapes are just perfect for me, especially tonally.

- I made a 3D scene of the mega structure part and the nebula, but I have not made a render of it as I was not satisfied with shadow-casting yet. I'll still tag this with the bonus image tag anyway.
-- The little swarm creatures were not made for the scene, but I also sketched them and they resembled some little enemy things from Strafe.

- The first part to the second dream was interesting. I have had a few other such dreams that have less focus on myself as a dream character, and they tend to have interesting themes, though I need to make the time to introspect on them a bit at some point, as I never do.

2022 May 13th

Dream (DFLN):

I'm helping someone with a quest or something. We go into a portal thing which is between some humanoid mobs. It takes us to a reward dimension and there are five mounts, one for each player had we been in a full party. The mounts look like a snow plow/dozer machine. Orange or rusty tones? Once we get out, the other guy has already customised and decorated his "mount" and I think about doing the same when I get a chance.

(recall gap)

I'm in a town somewhere, looks a bit like areas around old home. It's night time and there are sodium street lamps, though there is more colour distinction than they would allow for. I'm under a little covered bit, like the entrance to a restaurant or house, but it's unlit I think, taking care of laces on my footwear or something, when I hear the voice of M and that stupid laughter of his.
(note to self, writing this, my recall of the dream has improved a lot as I remember the following negative moments)

He's talking to someone and I hear them approaching along the street. I deliberately take my time now and look busy, avoiding looking at all and focusing on the laces. Then, when they pass close enough M sees me and says "hey onion hair" and laughs at me. I turn around toward him now and see he's sort of perching forwards on a dividing section. I feel annoyed, angry and threatened. So I swing a bag full of stuff at him, hitting him on the head. He barely flinches however and makes some sarcastic or mocking remark, I think indirectly, talking to this other guy who's with him.

I try to compose all my stuff and go, struggling with a version of my tablet which is in A3 in size, trying to flip it closed. (rest of recall was lost)

Later, I tell H about the encounter and says "I would have hit him" to which I reply "I did hit him", possibly in frustration.


2022 May 16th

Scraps:

Something with family. Mom, dad and sibling T. Out somewhere? (recall was not retained because I left it for two days)


2022 May 17th

Fragment:

I'm at some shops with siblings T and L and also dad. We're looking for some chocolate cake thing, one of those moist ones with sprinkles on it. Dad moves away in some part of this shop. I can't recall what's on display but me and my siblings are talking about foreskins or something. I picture something about it in my head.

(recall gap)

I am outside at some point. There's a very dark, heavy and moody atmosphere, all red and black tones/hues, a sort of mist or fog too. It's a city street of some kind? I remember tall buildings, but with no windows or anything. Just plain facades. (after waking from the dream, this made me think of Trove for some reason)



Notes:

- I hadn't had a dream with M (previously referred to as MB sometimes) for a while. I'm not sure anymore what could have prompted his appearance in this dream.
-- Probably also one of few "bad" dreams I've had in quite a while too.

Been a while.

Jamie 1

Just seeing her face in a flash.

Jamie 2

(Last night) A dream she is smiling at me. She is wearing a fancy, black, yuppie outfit. We hug and kiss. Took forever to get a good dream like this..

Construction

Me and a co-worker are exploring a large under construction building

+ losing L
Some sort of business proposition (with L?) about ambulances, I don't understand and ask for clarification.
There is a business meeting on an open field outside in twilight with a large group of women. They're all very positive about it, and I'm impressed at the swift level of approval of our idea. To my right on the grass I see some lines of what I believe is wiped/scuffed dog crap (it's brown and the right texture).

I have a new romantic object and I'm really torn about what to do about L. I'm planning to leave L for the risky new romance. I think it's not fair to L. I speak with her and tell her that I need to move on. I think I'm taking a huge risk, I really love L and don't want to lose her. In a large auditorium [DS] for a talk/presentation/show, standing among the seats in the center, then I move (with L) to and aisle on the left hand central side, and an usher comes up and tells us to clear the aisle. I get annoyed and point back to where I was and say that I already had a seat. I look around and see that the seats have filled up where we previously were and all through the auditorium, and the only free spots are in the extreme corners/edges. I see a string of free seats near me and head into them with L, moving from the left central aisle towards the center of the auditorium. I see that JaCon (T5) is seated there, so I go up to him and L and I sit down, JC is on my right and L is to my left. I wonder about how to introduce L: my former love? my friend? I decide to say "JC, this is Lena, Lena, this is JC, my friend from T5. She externs her hand across me under my ams on the arm rests to shake JC's hand. I take her hand in mine after that, and I'm deeply saddened by the fact that I won't be able to take her hand in the future.

I'm adjusting some written materials now that L and I are breaking up. I'm looking at my signature close up on paper. I recognize the first letter of my first name written in cursive but it is still strange and not quite from the alphabet. It's written in blue/green. I read then my last name in a stylized script font, very clear and regular shapes like on a computer. This is not my handwriting. I realize that it was written this way specifically to be highly legible.

+ glass house
There is a glass house on a hill, someone breaks in there is tons of broken glass everywhere, there is a (glass?) dog lying on the ground a bit away from the house, covered with sequins that gets covered by the sharp shards of glass. I start to clear away the glass from the dog, it's owner (woman?) approaches

later:
+ bus/music
Seated on a bus (left-hand side near the front, where I used to site in Jr High) with a girl putting together a [my instrument]. I'm using a bottom piece from a professional player, mixing and matching pieces to build up an instrument. The player and an older woman (organizer?) are there, standing in the aisle to my right. The (woman?) recognizes me as a (normal and bass version of my instrument) player, and I acknowledge that yes, I play both. The player takes back his borrowed bottom piece saying I don't need it, I think I do but then realize I don't and say I could just play the bass version while the girl could play the normal version.

+ LDD #266 LD DILD DDILD
stairway stars lucid man hat take me to group goose girl take her hand continue walking dream fades
repeat non-lucid ask man take me to group, enter auditorium [DS], from right side (facing stage), go to left side (or am just there), undress girl (many layers of pants!), ushers come and kick us both out, heavy makeup, I remove her makeup and we sneak back inside the auditorium

Climbing a stairway outside evening softer light, looking up into the sky above bare trees at the top of the staircase. Around the moon I notice a shifting / dancing pattern of bright little solid yellow "pentagram" 5-point shaped stars. They're fading in and out, becoming fuzzy/vague, then returning to clarity. Especially when they rotate in a circle that really gets my attention, I recognize that as a dream sign, and do a nose pinch, I can breathe, now I'm lucid. I walk up to the top of the stairs, there are people walking buy, I grab the arm of a man with a straw hat and tell him to take me to a large group of people, and I add that I know that they are nearby (so as not to waste time). I begin walking on a path to the right. An attractive young woman (short brunette hair) comes along and I reach out and give her a squeeze but don't want to get too engrossed, so I just take her right hand and turn to the right and continue walking along the path with her, happy, looking around at the detail, and the dream fades...


I then repeat this plot non-lucidly (not a pure replay the visuals are different): I find a man and task him to take me to a large group of people. I enter an auditorium [DS] from the back right (facing stage). I find a young woman and begin pulling down her pants: there is layer after layer of pants and when I think I finally have reached the last one and expect to see her [ahem], there is nothing really to see. An usher comes and shoo's us out of the auditorium out of a left-side exit. The young woman's face is very heavily made up with colorful makeup. I clean off her face and then want to sneak back in to the auditorium past a security turnstyle, hoping that we won't be recognized.

+ fire room
In a medium-sized room in a house, combined bedroom (left) living room (right). In the living room there is a fireplace with an automated fire system. I'm watching it mesmerized by its changing form and function. It has wheels and gears and metal bars/lines that move and shape change. There is fire spewing out of the open pipes. It's shaped in rectangles and a spinning circle in the middle. I think that this could be dangerous for us in the room. The fireplace changes into a flamethrower shooting a stream/column of fire into the room, sweeping the room from corner to corner, I think there's no way to escape.

SphGrv is there lying on the bed on the left side, with her brother(?). She is lying in an provocative post and I think I catch a glimpse of a portion of her [ahem]. I wonder if she would like it if I went over there and engaged with her?

Then she and others are on a central bed. There is an old fat perv guy trying to get her and the women drunk on vodka. He is pouring them huge glasses of the stuff, I can't believe the amount, it must be like 100ml or more, even for SG. SG takes the glass but does not drink, I can see she clearly does not want to. The man himself has poured and is drinking bourbon. He's encouraging her to drink. I'm talking to him, asking him about what kind of bourbon he has. He responds gruffly not wanting to share, (that it would spoil his taste?), I reply I don't want to drink it, I just wanted to know what it was. Later I get SG aside and tell her I'm really glad she avoided drinking the vodka.

+[f] Someone at my pepper! It was growing on a plant [waking life true!] I was nursing along, and someone picked it without my permission!

By the way this is my 800th DJ entry on DV!

+ escape the firestorm from CH, bank cards, passports
I'm in CH and I (hear explosions?) and I see a massive firestorm approaching up the hill towards the house. There is no time to take any belongings, I must escape immediately. I run out of the house and higher up in to the hills, hoping that the higher ground will be safe. Walking far away from CH along GPB

+ See CrLe (WFP)'s workspace with a pile of TTL chip boards

+[f] going somewhere in a large van with a group, I'm in the back seat with tons of room in front of me before the front seats

later:
+ in a group (at work? seems like a relaxed social situation), we're going out to celebrate my and (my sons? colleague?) birthday together. I'm 40 and he's 25. [Deceased] wife EW makes funny comment about what about when I'm 80?

+[f] sitting (at desk?) Indian coworker AS ("S") comes up and leans over my garbage can to my left (near my head), I think he's spitting out my gum

final:
+ sitting along the banks of a river, shallow completely transparent water [DS], some young boy is playing in the water near the shore, he's submerged and holding himself in place against the current with his hands. Then I see a sort of padded construction (like the face rest on a massage table) in front of him that I think allows him to stay in place by letting the current press his face against the pad, this frees his hands. I note my younger son S2 is sitting in the highest position on the steeply sloping bank (eating lunch?), sitting higher up than any other the other people around us. I (write?) a note on white paper and take it in to the river with older son S2, I want to show it to him, I'm closer to the center of the river than the earlier mentioned boy, and position myself alongside him, son S2 is with me and I open up the paper and I want S2 to read it.

Earlier dreams: vague, forgotten, something with my two kids in their younger years, in a place, something to do with their clothing?

next to last waking, tried a brief Raduga-style DEILD entrance disassociation, didn't work so went back to sleep with the intent to get lucid.

+ in St. house (central valley) of cousins, key moments:

my (deceased wife EW?) tells me she wants to show me something (?), if I wanted to follow and see, I say yes, I go and in the next room a guy (who lives there?) presents me with a basket of odd berries. It's a fairly large basket, the color is dark blue almost black like blueberries, and they are shaped like flat triangles or little hat shapes. Some of them are wet, and there are little berry-sized dark blue woolen caps in the basket, I notice this and mention it.

go out front door to entrance area there are two suitcases there I want to bring them in to avoid them being stolen as this covered porch area only has a flimsy screen door protecting it, and I'm wondering about crime in the St. area. It's very hot outside and I don't want to spend a long time outside so as not to let out all the cool air inside the main house from the A/C. In the background I hear the A/C running. Looking at the screen door on the main door to the house, I see it's bent in a number of places with large gaps between the screen and the door frame. It's Sunday and I think my cousin and her husband will probably be going to church, I'm not sure though, I wonder if they'll ask me to come.

inside the house I walk by a door next to a window and I see that a distant laser turret is firing at the door (part of a game I decide?). The laser blast hits the door with a weak "splat" and slightly opens the door by an inch or so. I watch through the window as a couple more laser shots arrive and hit the door. They're orange colored bolts.

I'm explaining to my hosts (young/early middle aged), a woman and man, about the game: that there's a target like a darts target (like the one there hanging on your wall over there, I point out) hanging on the inside of the door, and the turret is firing at it.

The woman is asking me about my (dream?) experiences with those older women, I "remember" them being grandmother aged and completely not a romantic interest and say so. The woman comes up to me (I'm lying on the carpet at this point) and wraps a paper darts target around my feet and binds it to me with tape. I tell her "you realize that by reinforcing my dream subjects like this [with me here being awake], it will likely promote having a lucid dream!" At this point (or just after the nose pinch) Sensei walks by and into the next room and makes a comment like "I'm not going to let positive expectation rule my life." I disagree with him, I think that's not at all what LDing is about. I decide to nose pinch since the subject of dreaming has come up an awful lot in the last few moments, and I get a very firm grasp and still a bit of air leaks, so I keep grasping harder and harder until no air moves at all. I also think that I could try levitating since my legs are bound and I'm lying on the floor.

.... Then I awake and realize I've just missed a chance for an LD!

It has been nearly a month since I have last updated my online dream diary. Many things in my life get in the way. It is so stressful dealing with Freudsters lol. Anyways though, here's all I can remember from my latest dream:

I woke up (in the dream) in a sort of disheveled van. There was a bag over my head, I could sense it, but I could still see everything as if there was none at all. Dreams are weird like that. I wriggled around for a while without actually saying anything and I hit a recall gap here. I ended up back in my old high school, a near exact image of what it looked like, but as I walked closer some people (staff I assume) ambushed me and forced me into the school, where it took on the looks of a prison more than anything. They took me outside where I was put in those striped scrubs type clothing and told to do dig a large hole in a gated part of the land. Another recall gap and I've gone inside the school. Here's where things turn weird. It's not a prison anymore; it's a massive torture chamber.

There is a pit piled high with bodies and on the walls hang people splayed open with their organs on full display. Some were still alive and breathing, not screaming or anything but alive. I could hear screams from another room over, though. I never actually got to see what was in there, because upon wandering in the torture halls I was being rushed by the staff again. I suspected I was next to be in the body pit. I ran past them and made it to a shower room, a window was miraculously open and I jumped through it wet and naked for some reason. The exterior once again became my high school and I ran out to one of the cars in its parking lot and drove off. As you can tell I had a lot of recall gaps during this dream lol. It's okay though it's still pretty interesting.

It started with a normal dream of going to work, me and me dad and his friend got off of a train, it was some kind of futuristic train station, we were going to work
Then went downstairs where the stairs were empty at times
But I was always lucid somewhat
When we got down there things were different it was like a scene from my old school life blended in
That's when I started to dig down into my negative feelings, mostly of how I didn't get a girlfriend in school in high school etc. I started to hear and see alternate stories of the same things, I became my alternate selves, re living their bitterness, or that was my dream memories, and just got deeper and deeper until I accepted death wholly or something similar to that
And then I was at home , or at least at some kind of level, with no hope and kind of consumed by hopelessness, I went out and the sky was covered in storm clouds, like multiple thick layers of cumulo nimbi only lighted by a light source high up in the sky, it was like a painting, it was beautiful,
Then I was ready, for the unknown, usually I don't engage with scenes like that in a dream or so that's what I thought, but this time I didn't give a damn
I knew there was something there, the place represented my mind my whole being I think I'm not sure,

So then I said hello? Come on take me. My voice was weak but it echoed everywhere.
And as I embraced the sky I rose up into the sky and started spinning slowly , and my whole body was overcome with this feeling of healing and comfort, and I heard an upbeat kind of ambient music and I started to have some kind of monologue about the death of the suffering, and how I set it off and someone named mark
The sky cleaned up and it was a warm blue sky and I floated there, marinating in healing energy
And then I heard my mom's voice, but it wasn't real because she is still sleeping

side note: my feet need cold water, they heat up a lot and causes me to wake up, but some cold water calms my nerves down like nothing else in the world and then I sleep like a baby

Idk if I even dreamt it , or maybe it was a nap dream??
but anyways, I think I dreamt of one of those language demonstrating youtube videos
all I remember is that the word for "what" was "aš" and I tought to myself "how strange"
and left the video