2nd June 2021 Fragment: In a supermarket. I'm with my family, including some of my cousins though I don't recall who's here immediately around me. I remember then we're leaving the store, heading to the exit after we'd paid for some stuff. Just near the exit, I grab a 2 litre bottle of Coke Zero and walk outside without paying for it. I soon realise what I've done and give the bottle to C, who still looks like a child as I remember her from years ago. I rush back into the store, past a security guard who hadn't even noticed what I'd done and I walk over at quick pace to a reception in order to explain what I'd done and to pay for the item. Notes: - In the dream I didn't think about it, but it was foolish to leave the bottle with my cousin instead of just bringing it back, paying for it and then leaving with the receipt. At least, that would have been the easy solution to the issue had it been in waking life. - It's odd that my cousin was so much younger, though I realise now that she actually hasn't looked very different over the years. Perhaps she has something like H's sister, and I never realised/knew. - This is one of a few recent dreams about supermarkets and so on.
1st June 2021 Fragment: In a PvP battleground, themed on Kul Tiras or something, lots of wooden beams and structures, sort of grungy and moody atmosphere. Mechanically it's somewhat like Alterac Valley, except each side has to capture ten flags from the other side and the flags would spawn or drop from some players as far as I could see. It was a long and drawn out battleground, I remember seeing in the interface, at the top under the score, that we had been in it for twenty eight minutes or something. I was a female night elf huntress, having a dragon hawk or ravager for a pet. I fight some horde players a few times but I'm not especially strong and do very little damage, plus I'm usually outnumbered. I remember using the aspect of the cheetah to get away more than once; we can't use our mounts on this battleground, despite it's seemingly vast size. At one point I chase after a blood elf, a death knight maybe? The level bracket is weird, like from twenty to sixty. Near the end, me and someone else are partly disguised (as what?) and we confront this horde player who had been running away from me. (In the dream I was certain he was much stronger, but he had a flag and I still wanted to stop him) Then it's less like a battleground and more like a department store in a mall, I'm walking around with these two people and we're talking about gender. There's something about how straight women are feeling misrepresented by a porn study? I felt like it was a diverse and inclusive study based on what this woman who was walking with me was telling me. It felt to me like the women complaining were picky and/or spoiled straight women, probably white in my mind. Fragment: In the kitchen at the old home. It's night time and the ceiling fluorescent light is on. J and L are between the two pillars and they're talking. I'm leaning against the counter in front of the sink, mostly just listening, occasionally saying something. The table is open/extended. There's a fan heater pointed at my feet, pointing toward me, I feel the heat/warmth on my legs. I point it toward them instead and J thanks me. The plug is coming from under the table, but in reality I don't think there are any sockets there. Notes: - I feel as though there have been quite a few dreams about the old home or hometown lately. - Not sure what brought on the thing about the study at the end of the dream but last night I was watching something from the 80s that had a segment that seemed (to me) sexist against women. - I just remembered "ten flags" is an actual thing, when I typed the title for this.
30th May 2021 Fragment: In my bedroom at the old home. It's daytime, maybe early morning, based on the shadows and it's sunny based on the bounced light. I'm looking outside as if from the edge of the balcony but I think I'm actually not on the balcony. I'm talking to someone, maybe dad. I see a big sea turtle (an adult could probably sit comfortably on its shell) crawling towards our building on the cul-de-sac road below. I think to myself about how this happens from time to time. Notes: - I barely managed to recall this and only because of some random association, though not sure what that was anymore. - My dream self believed this type of sighting to be completely normal, hence the thought I had to myself in the dream. - Of my conscious recall between the ages of three and five (?) we had a relatively small pet turtle, living in some vivarium in what was the living room and which later became my bedroom. Oddly, I feel some sort of emotion writing about it, but I hardly remember any interaction with that pet turtle and I don't even remember how or if it passed away. I don't recall ever touching it.
The environment is dark colored and I'm with a party of grown ups. I'm able to choose a companion that will help me out and I scroll through the selections. They are all grey looking and pretty boring but with different shapes. One is formed as an egg, one is a bit scary, one is looking very tired. I look at about 15 of them until I am interupted. A party member's zombie is eating her up. The zombie is streching its mouth really much so that the whole head fits in its mouth. I'm in my brother's bed and I'm sick. Every time I breathe out a green round rubbery candy with white powder on it rolls out. Some older people from the last dream walks in. They are telling me I have some kind of disease and they seem a bit disgusted. I taste one of the candies and they are pretty good. Notes: I hid in my brother's bed yesterday. I notice it's a dream and fly up. I hit a cloud wall and fly through it. I keep on flying and hit another cloud wall. I keep on flying and see the third cloud wall but the dream becomes unstable and I can't remain.
Updated 05-28-2021 at 08:13 AM by 97565
21st May 2021 Not a dream: Couldn't recall any dreams for this day made a note that I tried thinking about lucidity in general and about recent dreams where I might have had an opportunity to become lucid. I had hoped to go through the recall of several dreams in my head but ended up getting a bit stuck on this; eventually my focus drifted and I must have fallen asleep. 22nd May 2021 Fragment: (left recall a bit late) Some bit in a town in the style of my old home town, hilly. I'm with some dream friends, a woman and a man both younger than me. They are getting rid of some stuff, office chairs or sofas? Some other bit, I'm with someone but can't recall who. Entering some kind of hive building which is in the middle of an otherwise normal city (larger than any I've been to in waking life, NY style). The entrance to the hive part is high up, but I think I just run up it. Inside, there's a sort of rounded off eight point star inner shape and there are cocoons or eggs, they're dark? And the place is dark overall but there's some kind of light. Everything is very geometric. I shoot or open the eggs by getting too close? DRG-like creatures come out and so on. I end up leaving but with an intent of returning later. For whatever reason, the creatures are unable to follow me out. Some other part, I'm in a building with mom. Don't recall much of it but it's kind of a semi-circular inner area? Like a control room around a central and cylindrical room. It's generally dark. There are other people around, we're walking through the place?
I'm lying on a sleeping pad on the floor with a bunch of other people. We are about to sleep but suddenly a really tall man, about 2 meters tall, comes in and starts to hunt us. I run up some stairs and keep on running outside in the dark woods. I am able to return to the building and we are safe now. Tove is prominent in the dream and has a strong positive aura. Notes: It was not a nightmare but more like a game. I'm home and looking up through the window in the kitchen upstairs. I think about how the dream is soon going to end and that triggers lucidity. I go to the sink and turn the water on. I try to do some water bending but it doesn't work at first. I get some insight and suddenly know how to do it. I take my right thumb next to the water and move the thumb to the side. The water follows. I take the water with telekinesis to the next room where mom sits on a chair. I form the water so that it looks like a glass and give it to her. She is shocked when her hands go through the water glass when she tries to grab it. I go to the window and try to punch it so that I can fly outside but it won't budge. I have to open it instead which takes some time. When I'm done I fly outside and it's pretty dark. There are some tall and round buildings I have never seen before. I try to fly up and I am able to. I want to touch the stars but when I reach a certain height I feel that the dream is becoming unstable. I fly down again to a big dome house. Some kind of white particles follow me and I feel energized. I fly in a circle and more white particles appear. I feel really happy and the flying is going perfect. I'm with Gustav and he complains about a SC2 map that is really hard and that he doesn't understand how you are able to win with only zealots. We enter the map and defend one entrance each. I have some marines and a tank and I'm able to protect my entrance the first round but Gustav is struggling. We lose and Gustav starts to build some kind of fort with Lego in my brothers room. I join him. He asks me if I remember what he told me and I tell him I do. I say that he told me to use my time wisly and only to do important things. He is happy and says that I have understood him.
17th May 2021 Fragment: In a square or plaza, a place like L? Some kind of family gathering, we're right in the middle of the place. Some fuss is made about something (probably trivial) and L is there and maybe my cousin T. A throw is about to be put over the ground but as it is pulled out of whatever it was in, a pink skin-toned adult toy is dragged out along too. The toy bounces around unrealistically, somewhat out of control and taking a while to stop, with nobody being able to catch it. Even though it's not mine, I feel embarrassment over this since we're in such a public space. I feel this way because there are bystanders and I'm afraid of being judged by association? Later, I'm with my sibling T in a lava area. It's implied to be UT2k4 and we can do the dodge moves like in the game. We need them too, so we can cross a lava gap as we travel through the inside of a hollowed out tree trunk, which is all carbonised. I think to myself about it being lucky that the person who made the level didn't know how to do terrain properly, because it meant that there were very flat bits, making it easy to get across safely. I remember noticing and briefly inspecting the terrain tessellation. Notes: - I'd recently been making a level on UT2k4's editor but I stopped working on it kind of abruptly even though I didn't consciously want to. I seemed to have stopped after remembering and feeling sad that nobody will ever play my maps, since the game is mostly dead and obscure now. -- In that map, I finally learned how to do terrain, which is a large feature for the map. - The lava place was atmospherically volcanic, but I don't recall any smells or ambience sounds. - Thinking about the fact that I was only with T in the second part... We used to do a lot of things together and in the dream, I think as a person it seemed like he was more like when we were younger. - My family never shares anything about our sex lives or anything relating to that part of life. I have always felt there's an awkward silence to all of it. The spontaneous, silly and uncontrolled situation with the toy in the dream, I think it reflects part of this. -- On the other hand, on the few occasions I've spoken to my parents about such things I ended up feeling embarrassment, probably because it was never normalised as a topic of conversation.
Morning of May 15, 2021. Saturday. Dream #: 19,871-02. Optimized 2 minute read. Note; The waking-life model is red. For the image, I made it the same as the predominant color in my dream (though there were other colors). The additional optional outer wing piece is for a torn wing feature. My dream begins with me sitting near a river, though the water lowers over time. (This attribute has remained the same for this dream type for over 50 years. One influence is from isolation tank films I saw as a child, though it also naturally corresponds with melatonin mediation and ultradian rhythm.) Typical indoor-outdoor ambiguity (impossible to discern as such in waking life) is predominant at some points, though there is more morphing of the setting than usual. The locational inferences are unknown. I have recall of my real-life identity to the extent of where I recall I have three sons. I think of creating a portal so that my sons can see a living pterodactyl through it. We do not intend to go through the portal but to watch different events through it. A somatosensory phase response (a natural, predictable shift to attention on using my hands toward resolving REM atonia) becomes predominant, and there is a spontaneous flight-related association with the Aurora Pterodactyl model kit from the early 1970s. I had one when I was a boy. In this instance, the process curiously mixes with finding gold coins (also somatosensory summoning), but only as a supraliminal influence. (I do not think about panning for gold in my dream, only recovering all the pieces of a plastic pterodactyl model.) After my sons watch a living pterodactyl through the portal (a precursor to managing the vestibular phasing of dreaming) for a few minutes, I begin finding many different sizes and colors of pieces from various fictitious versions of what is otherwise the same Aurora pterodactyl model kit. Many parts are smaller than the waking-life kit, but there are no larger versions. I see little cyan plastic wings, but also green, blue, and other colors. There are more outer wing parts than other features. I also notice some small wing connectors; rectangular prisms. I become fascinated by their variety and study their random arrangement for several minutes. However, there is no dream segment where parts of a complete model are collected and assembled.Revealing dream content causation: I continue to be fascinated by how the same processes and phasing responses (often in the same order throughout my sleep cycle) result in so many unique and engaging narratives. This dream’s narrative is a result of my typical familiar lifelong metacognitive status and its management: Water induction corresponds with beginning my navigation of REM sleep and is usually the first process depending on my dream’s time. Vestibular system ambiguity (vestibular cortex phasing response) is from being in REM sleep and links to my metacognitive pursuit of mind-body reconnectivity, often with flight associations. In this instance, however, the phasing curve favors my metacognitive focus on REM atonia (physical immobility in sleep). As is often the case, my dream focuses on managing the virtual division between dreaming and attaining wakefulness. Here, it results in a “portal” (rather than the more mundane summoning of a door) and the mental and physical duality of dreaming that is absent in real life.
8th May 2021 Fragment: Mom, new medications, a swap or trade for her? (not sure what I meant by this and recall is too gone) Fragment: Watching HW play an undead rogue wearing a T2 helm, he's sort of streaming PvP activity where he's killing other horde players but also alliance, not focusing on any particular group more than another. He is in a full party with some friends who are helping him with the PvP? (gap) HW is visiting me, at a mix of my current and old home. I'm with him in the kitchen, downstairs. There's a moment of intense laughter when I or he make a joke, sort of together, but I forget what it was about. We're about to head upstairs and I go into the pantry (what pantry, which home?) and grab the only two beers there, as well as an orange juice drink in a similar but clear glass bottle. I ask HW what he wants but he doesn't seem to hear me. I ask him again once we are upstairs, also asking H if he wants one of these things too. I have some feeling of concern about who will pick what? 9th May 2021 Fragment: Planet-landing, some colony and I'm? using a tank to take over the colony. Something about it being a job in planning by others for three years. I prove them wrong by myself by assaulting a base and then I eventually get some reinforcements to assist me. Then in a cave, the dream changes and becomes about wrestling or some form of free fighting. I remember breaking things up, made of wood. Dream: I'm in a place like L with H, walking across a busy street. It's sunny and looks pretty much as I might expected, considerably busy too. I see MB walking ahead in front of us at one point as we walk to wherever we're going but H doesn't notice or care. I feel annoyed and think to myself "yeah, you walk away you bastard" as I watch him go up another street on an incline, beside some kind of train or transit station. We eventually go up the same street too and H says he's going to call someone (one of our parents) but he notices the phone number is totally wrong for the contact, deciding to ring anyway and finding out who it might be. The other person answers and is equally curious and confused but they are nearby so we backtrack a little to a bit with a cafe. We approach and H talks to this person he had been on the phone with. I don't realise it in the dream but any awareness of them drops off as I focus on my aunt B who is sat at the next table over, facing an unknown dream character who is her friend. For some reason, as we get talking, this unknown character is showing me the inside of her mouth, which impossibly looks bigger on the inside than on the outside. Under her tongue, there is a pepperoni pizza pattern thing going on, but it's some kind of fungal structure that is an uncontrolled infection. I remember being told about this but in no detail. Notes: - The last dream with MB was about four months ago. - The dream recall for all of these is poor because while I did make initial notes, they were extremely brief and I had planned on getting around to typing them up sooner, whilst recall was still fresh, but the days didn't allow for it. - For some time now I have been feeling like there's something wrong internally, on a physical level. I worry on some level that part of recent dream symbolisms are related to this but I have no real basis for this other than some recent aches that haven't subsided. Recently I have been getting random intrusive thoughts about cancer, possibly since that's essentially what AH passed away from. - I had some more notes I wanted to put down but I'm currently distracted and have a headache, so I'm being unable to focus.
I'm on a snowy mountain with Isak. We are skiing and I do a 360 down a steep slope that seemed dangerous at first. I overdo the 360 and land on the side and lose my balance and have to stop. I'm by a house and there is a jacuzzi with some naked people walking into it. I am doing massage on their shoulders. Notes: I'm getting massage this week. I'm home and looking into the storehouse upstairs. My sister's room is there and she is hanging out with Helena and they talk by the bed. Something about a big list with different things I have to do. Notes: I have pretty much school right now.
5th May 2021 ~9:20 Fragment: A(D) messages me on Steam. Something about his birthday? Think he feels lonely but he doesn't mention it. Dream: Some dream where I'm walking with H along a pavement, along a road in a forested area with the occasional field. Reminds me of areas in my native country. It's daytime, afternoon? At some point, we are at some escalators in an entrance for a massive building complex, maybe like a mall. H is no longer H. Instead, it's some unknown dream character following me for some reason; he wants to know where Da Vinci's lock box (safety deposit?) is kept, I think. I tell him "It's probably in one of the 800 ones". I know where they are and lead him there. We go up a lot of escalators and a few wide stone staircases with shallow steps. Eventually we reach a more open (and outdoor hybrid) area where there are walls with rows and rows of locked panels, the locked boxes we are looking for. There are many people around. Da Vinci's box is one of these just around a corner. Then L arrives, he cautiously walks over to us over a gap or hole in the upper end of the main staircase leading up here. In the dream, I know that L happens to be one of Da Vinci's direct descendants. Later in the dream I question myself about this logic, shouldn't I be too, if we are siblings? Either way, he has a key for the locked panels and opens one, giving me something from inside. A crystal. It is elongated, about one foot long at a guess, it is a perfect rectangular cuboid with slightly worked edges/corners, it is a translucent purple at the "top" and a pure white translucent quartz at the other end. It is a unique object that requires no power and allows one to simply look through it to see others and things through walls with a weak kind of x-ray vision. Later H, mom's sister appears, and she tries to steal the crystal which I had placed in an envelope. I confront her about it and she or both of us get defensive? (there was more recall but I was too tired) ~11:55 Dream: There were many other dream sequences but this dream was about helping mom. She was still a teacher in the dream and she was saying that her area was not doing as well as everywhere else in the country, in terms of grades and so on, and I try to reassure her by saying that "kids are and will be different" in different areas, so of course there would be a gap, I reason. I help somehow, by cleaning up some dusty old church entrance arch area? It has faded greens and reds that brighten up a little once I clean the dust with a microfibre cloth I'm using. I believe the arch is all made of wood, which is painted these colours. I don't see a door to speak of, but the structure is ruined. Its pieces seem to have never been disturbed since it became ruined. I ask mom about the church, she tells me that it's been this way since the last great earthquake. I think that it would have been undisturbed for a very long time, in that case? It's generally sunny in this area, some kind of square at high point of this old style settlement but I am under the shade of the ruins being under the arch. Later, I'm not at that place anymore and am discussing something else on the phone with mom, but I cannot recall what anymore. Notes: - I'm quite tired today but still want to try making some observations for these dreams. - Red and green are colours both with personal and non-personal meanings to me. On the personal side, they show the exclusion of blue, a colour that oddly enough has featured on its own in other dreams recently. But neither green nor blue are favourite colours of mine, although it depends on the specific tone too. -- On the non-personal side, the colours tie in with the locality and ruins in terms of identity, especially because of the mention of the earthquake. Though perhaps an irrational fear, I have all my life been concerned that another event of that scale may occur some day during my lifetime, which would likely affect mom and dad. - The thoughts that L would be Da Vinci's descendant really made no sense and the moment of questioning all of that was a kind of pre-lucid moment. - The crystal was not supposed to be magical, but technological in nature. It was a very interesting thing to use although I think some part of me had unvoiced radiation concerns in the dream. - On falling asleep again after the first set of dreams, I hoped I would return to something and tried setting an intention but I fell asleep faster than I could have realised and realised later I hadn't finished setting my intents and so on. - Both of these dreams and other recent dreams have been especially reminiscent of my native country in their stylistic/aesthetic essence. I should try to make time to explore meanings in regards to this a bit, as I feel it could be helpful with how I've been feeling recently; I have felt particularly nostalgic lately but not of life there specifically, just in general of childhood and some other times. - The fragment probably relates to the fact that a few people I know are having birthdays around this time of the year, but more specifically I used to know A's birthday date but it seems I don't anymore.
30th April 2021 Fragment: Seeing from outside the windshield (in front) of a jeep that dad and L are in. Dad is driving? There's a kid at the middle of the back seats. In the dream, something suggests this to be cousin R, I think through an old style printed square photograph. (in terms of view, perspective, stabilisation etc... this dream was like that bit from "what is love?") 1st May 2021 Fragment: Visiting a chocolate factory. Implied to belong to the person who I learned a bit about just the night before, when I was reading up about some chocolate I was having. I see the old man that I saw featured the previous night and his clothing is more casual and I think about how I expected a labcoat like in the featured image, but I do not do a RC or think further about it, perhaps because I'm continuing to walk through this open space which is part of the entrance to the factory? It's more like a theme park really, I'm there with two friends, I know one is JoCo but not sure about the other. (this dream was quite long but I got distracted I think)
27th April 2021 Fragment: Something about flying through space. There's something like DSP to this dream. I am checking out a planet, but as I approach it, I realise with some surprise that it's one of the Deuteria systems I'd already built on (in the dream). I then set course for a greatly distant star system? In the galaxy map, I can see this system has three stars. I arrive there pretty quickly despite the distance. The dream is not fully like DSP and the three stars are in odd placements around the system, sort of hiding within tight clusters of planets. There's an interesting play of light and ambience as a result. Fragment: I'm in the context of old home but the dream location details are vague now. I remember being in something like my room(?) but the house layout feels different and on a bed or a table there's a number of my drawings. Some are explicit but I don't try to tidy it up. Something about being called through to another room, by dad? In the dream, there's an implied sense that my parents know about the type of things I draw sometimes. I feel some discomfort about it but in the dream it's more like the general discomfort or embarrassment from parents trying to be a part of things you don't necessarily want them to be a part of. Something about going to meet up with L? (I left recall too long and allowed myself to be distracted) Fragment: In the van/car and it's overcast; hail is falling. Notes: - Some days later, there was hail, but I don't remember looking at the forecasts. - L is the only person in the family who knows that I draw explicit artwork now and then. -- Part of that dream certainly relates to my feeling of isolation from being unable to discuss the subject very openly with most people.
Updated 05-05-2021 at 02:09 AM by 95293
I'm in the guest room downstairs with mom. I realize it is a dream and walk out. I look up at the sky and scream out "sky, take me with you!". Gravity is turned upside down for me and I accelerate towards the sky. There is a thick layer of clouds and gravity is centered by the layer. That makes it so that I first go upwards over the sky but slowly turn down to it again. When I hit the clouds on the way down I notice that the clouds have changed location and are right above the ground by my home. That makes it so that it is very foggy. I climb the gate and it is bigger than in reality. When I'm on top I fly away to town. I walk on the street and try to remember what I wanted to do in the dream. It's frustrating because I can't remember. I think about how I can ask my dream characters a joke. But since they are my unconsciousness they would know the answer if I told them a joke I knew the answer to. That's why I ask them a joke I don't know the answer to. "How did the cow and the wheat meat?", I ask a man. He seems confused and I tell him that I tell him the joke because he is a part of my mind. There are now three DC:s and they seem to accept that truth. I keep on walking and see a girl in my age. She is very prominent and start to talk with me. She is self independent and do as she likes. She is a bit shorter than me and we start to walk home to me. We talk a lot. When we come home we meet my cat Isa. The girl talks about a dog. After some time I leave home and fly away. As I fly over the gate gravity is changed again and I reach the clouds. I fall to the ground fast after I have touched the clouds. I remember that it was a long time since I opened a window to enter a new dream scene. I fly to a window that is transparent. I smash the window with my fist and succeed. I try to open the window but I'm not able to. A boy is inside and I ask him if he can take the key and open. He doesn't want to at first but as I struggle to come inside he says that he can fix it. He opens the window and I climb in. There is a big table and four old ladies enter. They ask me if I want to join them in dinner. I say okay and sit down by the table. They lay the table with tacos but they only have cucumber, tomatoes and corn which I find kind of dull. I start to eat and the flavor is mostly of cucumber. The lady next to me asks me if I can visit them again in a hostile tone. She reminds me a lot of my physics teacher now. I tell her that I can't because I'm only visiting this dream and won't be able to return. She pushes me harder and asks me if I don't want to visit them again. I stand up for myself and tell her that I don' want too. During the conversation she stood up from the chair and I had to back up as she came closer to me. I run for the window and try to fly out. She grabs me by the legs and holds me so that I hang from the window. She starts to swing me and tries to swing me back to their flat. As she is just to throw me in the dream becomes black. Notes: I really have to train how to retain my memories from reality in the dream. A recurrent theme through my dreams are evil old ladies, I wonder why.
Updated 05-03-2021 at 06:46 AM by 97565
A lake with a monster in it in a forest. I know that the monster just needs a kiss and it will turn into a nice girl. I jump into the water and start to swim, the monster looks like a human but the head is blue with a lizard face. I don't hesitate but just give it a small kiss. It turns into a human and we go up. I'm home in the hall downstairs and talk with mom and my sister. I get a feeling it is a dream and I walk out. I fly away to Hemköp and see some cars on the way. A black man and a white woman are prominent as they walk the street with energy. I interact with them and talk some. I used some telekinesis om some humans and made them float over each other. I think I had a FA here but came back to the dream after some seconds. I'm sitting in one of the cars driving by before. A mom and her daughter is driving.
Updated 04-29-2021 at 03:55 PM by 97565
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