I am walking through what looks like Dad’s neighborhood (maybe on one of the higher streets, like Virginia Foothills). I run into Kat and she ends up walking with me. It is near sunset and some of the lower and plumper clouds are getting some color. The rest are smaller and almost evenly spaced, bright white against the blue. I look directly up and notice a glowing sliver of the moon. It’s all very pretty. Kat mentions the sky too, saying she’s grateful for Emma for getting her to pay more attention to it, and that she wants to see it more often. I take some pictures of it as we walk. We end up at her house. I think the garage door is open, and I can tell by the way she’s talking that she has intentions to leave now. Before she does, I somewhat bluntly mention how I want to stop drinking. This seems to pique her interest, and she talks to me about it. I tell her I feel like quitting altogether but am not sure if I should stick with moderation. She pulls a little red champagne flute from somewhere and hands it to me, saying I could use it for moderation. I look at it and its almost grimy looking opaque sides, imagining how it might hold a small serving. I kind of like the idea and think I might take it, but then change my mind. I say that I want it to be a mindset thing and not something like this. Now, Chelsea has shown up, I think in a car. She stands behind us and when she sees me she recognizes me but thinks I’m someone else. I tell her no and think it slightly odd that she wouldn’t remember me. I am now walking back, now either on a dirt road or a road surrounded by dirt and small hills. There’s a small stream of water running down this slope, through the soil and grasses. I follow it and see where it meets another stream on an opposing slope, turning to one and running downwards. I look out to my left and notice a hill where water appears to be coming from. There’s a tiny canyon carved into the soft looking dark brown soil, and I imagine walking through it. I am walking right by where the streams meet, doing okay with stepping on the sturdier patches of soil and grasses. Most of it is still soft and it’s hard to tell what will give, so I end up getting both of my shoes wet and muddy. I end up back home, rinsing and scrubbing them. I put them out to dry even though it’s pretty overcast. I’ve gotten an email from the new girl at work (it’s not actually the girl who is supposed to start. I think I see a profile picture on the email or something and it’s an unfamiliar heavyset white girl). She’s asking about me not being there for a shift, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t been scheduled. I think I’ve been using time off. She sounds more like a manager than a coworker and kind of annoying. After the text there are a few pictures of a hotel room - I think it must be a work thing. The hotel seems nice and also very familiar. I think I must have stayed there before. I think it looks more impressive than it actually is. A picture of the shower shows the floor of small, dark pebbles and the opposing stainless steel shower heads. Now, I am in the hotel. It looks like someone had just been here but tidied a bit before leaving, so I guess I just missed her. There’s a full looking black garbage bag in the abnormally large space adjacent to the toilet. The toilet itself actually has a garbage bag around it, somehow from the ground up. I adjust the opening of the bag so as to be able to use the toilet. I am somewhere with the family. We’re in a plain, rectangular building that is for something like customs or passports or photos (something that we have to do together as a family). I notice quite a few other families here too, I think seated at tables. Whatever we’re doing here, the personale is being very aggressive with us. They are making us do tasks or challenges that seemed to be designed to result only in failure. A younger guy, I think in a uniform, tries to handcuff me but only gets one finger. He notices, his facial expression betraying his embarrassment, and tries again. The same happens, though he doesn’t notice this time. He tells me to now “clap above your head and find some shade.” I think he also holds me down to ensure failure. Still, I succeed in clapping above my head, slightly satisfied with defying his expectation of failure. I’m not sure about the shade part though. These things go on for a while longer. When we are done, I’m thinking about how I’m going to write to someone about how atrociously we were treated. From a third person perspective I am seeing a high rise building (a hotel) that stands alone on a sprawling fine sand beach. The building seems somewhat modern and is mostly a tower but with some structural embellishments at the base. It is also way too near the water and, in fact, there is currently water submerging the first few floors. I think there’s something about the occupants just staying inside when it floods, though that seems counter intuitive. Someone is interviewing a lone, blond man maybe in his late 20s. He seems foreign, probably European, though he is speaking more articulately than most native speakers. I think he’s talking about the structural design and why it is flooding.
Some dream fragments. Initially had better recall but didn't manage to type as much as I wanted in my initial notes and so recall just faded for the most part. Some pre-sleep journaling too because I haven't really done that a lot. Although I have had recall of dreams from all the previous nights since my last DJ entry, I haven't been making notes in the morning for the most part. H's alarm can be distracting and causes me to lose details sometimes, which puts me off from trying to write, besides all the other usual issues. Pre-sleep: Some stray thoughts about something lead me to loosely focusing thoughts on memories from my childhood, primarily from the ages between three and five. Somewhat vivid memory of the balcony, but details missing and wrong. I hoped my focus on these memories would perhaps carry on into dreaming and allow me to explore the memories a bit better. Some recall of trying to place myself in the height I would have been, meaning a different point of view from the lower glass panes rather than the higher ones. I remember having other conscious thoughts about the memories but I have forgotten the specifics now. Dream Fragment: Was having a discussion with a girl about my age, we were talking about buck/boost transformers and how they saved power or something. I was doing a poor job of explaining and getting to the point I wanted to make and so she started to think I was trying to make some sort of sales point without evidence. I was at some kind of hotel? Initially I was speaking to her from a hallway that had these sliding doors to the outside; she was out on a courtyard of some kind, under a summer/pool tent of sorts. I'd met her at a fairly high floor in the building, 30 something? I had been going up through the floors using stairwells with my family up to this point, but I think they just continued on without me. I think near the end the girl's form shifted between herself and some male dream character. Before I got to the hotel, I remember travelling with my family through some highway, dad was driving. At some point we weren't in the car anymore but sort of still on the road. I remember my parents asking T if he should put an extra layer/top on. L made some comment? We were on the start of a mountain path or something. We were apparently going some place cold, I remember a dull grey day, misty. Reminds me now of some real beach or coastal area I've visited in waking reality many years ago with my family. Dream Fragment: Called an aunt. Brief conversation, remember noting it took no more than five or six minutes. Vague visual recall of orange phone screen? Notes: - The orange phone screen was most likely a detail of a home phone; either the one we have now or the one from my parents' house. - The highways in the dream remind me of the ones from Fallout, possibly because of playing it recently. - Not entirely sure what brought on the context of discussing electronics but possibly just a more obvious intrusion of information consolidation processes; my apparent ignorance on the subject in the dream perhaps being caused by the fact I rarely discuss the specific topic in question.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening I have a friend who is a hacker or whatever and he has done amazing things. I am part of his activist group. He is being searched for by the authorities, but he leaves in a really strange place. A 10 sq mt glass house on top of a storage room, in a park, by the side of a kindergarten. One day I come by to tell him they might have found him and tell him to at least shut all his curtains. I help him out and just then, a van with 3 suspicious people stop by the kindergarten. A lady is driving and the two dudes wear shirts with the kindergarten logo, but they carry metal suitcases and enter through some backdoor to a service area. Clearly they are here to spy on him. I tell him he needs to leave asap as they are just gathering info to send in a SWAT team or something, if it isn't already positioned. His front door doesn't even close properly. I ask him for some alternative exit and he opens a trapdoor to the storage beneath and from there, there is a back door they provably don't know about because it is invisible from the outside. Then we make a quick run to some trucks stopped a few meters away. But they already had some big guys surveying the area who spot us and come after us. They were taken by surprise, so we have a head start. We split and I enter a warehouse. More agents come and one lady surprises me with a taser. But I grab something like a metal lid from a shelf and protect myself from her shot. Then manage to go around her and snatch the taser from her. She struggles a bit but I manage to get it and hit her with it. Then another guy comes and is also tasered. Then another. I run away. There is some sort of heavy metal festival on the park outside. I run to the crowd but I don't mingle so well with the people which is mostly wearing black and covered in tattoos. There is a lesbian film festival going on at a building, after some food stands and I blend better with the ladies there, but they still spot me. I mingle with the crowd of the metal festival again and head to closer to the main stage, where there is more chaos. Then a bunch of people in black faux leather surround me and tell me to lay low and I understand they want to help. They effectively make a human shield hiding me from my chasers. They safely escort me like this to a safe place at the periphery of this festival and take me to meet some old lady with grey hair that looks a bit like Judy Dench, at some corridor of a service area of a building. She tells me they are going to help and that they will come to take me soon to a safe place, but for now they must release me again in he world. She asks me to stay inconspicuous for a few days. I ask what about my friends and she tells me not to worry because they are also taking care of it. Then they tell me to cross the door and go back out and I find myself in a hotel lobby.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening Nordic country during summertime, there is a street market with a fortune teller, some local dude becomes obsessed by me and stalks me around. There is a gorgeous natural lake with clear water up on the mountains. This local guy insists I must go take a dip. Wasn't planning on doing so before the next day but he convinces me. I go to the place where I am staying, get my stuff, and I get out through some other exit to avoid him. There is a path going uphill through a forest, it gets dark and I have an encounter with a wolf. I jump over a fence and I run back. I encounter a guy walking a big dog and I ask for his protection. He kinda mocks me although he sees the wolf at distance. Back to the venue I encounter the crazy guy who stalks me again to the laundry room. I find a back door and run through service corridors, looking for an alternative way to get to my room. Once there I still don't feel safe. I have an odd feeling that the wolf I saw is actually a werewolf and that he is around. I go meet some friends and they say actually there is something going on, but they think it is more like a zombie attack. We make a plan to escape soon, but I still I go to bathroom for pooping and I change clothes. My friends then say there is a strange lady outside looking for me. They suggest I don't talk to her, but it is Marta, cousin of my friend Carla and I feel curious. She wants to tell me about her mother dying of cancer and that she is going through difficult times. I offer my assistance, remember I heard she is sick too. She confirms she does have multiple cysts in a leg. I thought was on the uterus, she says those too, but leg is what is killing her. I tell her I am in a hurry now, but we should meet some other day and have a coffee. I leave her outside at the street market, where some lady paints landscapes based on our description of it. She stays there providing details of a forest landscape, doesn't know the name of the trees she is thinking if and I tell the painter she means conifers. With girl friends at some city where I will attend some teachings. On arrival we go to a shopping mall. They want to go to some famous brand shop. Their front is like a giant screen with their advertising and apparently no door. But right in the center there is a place to walk through across an hologram. Vera attempts to do it but fails and crashes into the screen wall, but I manage to find the entrance and go in. The feeling is strange and pleasant. Inside, costumers are doing photo shoots. I don't understand the idea but my friends say something like, the shop provides a makeover and then clients do a free photo shoot to promote the store and that is why they wanted to come. We get in the waiting zone. Meanwhile I am getting really excited that I will soon see Rinpoche.
Woke up with my second alarm and attempted to do some MILDing again which appears to get me more engaged once I'm dreaming... I'm walking up a set of stairs in what I know is large hotel, when I suddenly realize I might be dreaming. Performing a reality check confirms my suspicions and I try to ground myself.I do the "clarity now" call out and makes my vision tingle like before. I get on my hands and knees and fell the floor which is a soft carpet. When I stand up, I know what my dream intention is and I say out loud, "I want to experience the essence of summer." I imagine a door behind me and there is, although, when I open it there is only another set of stirs going down. I follow the stairs down to large room in which people are gathered around in a large semi- circle. I walk into the middle of the group before the dream fades away
Me and a few others that I know are climbing a high rock wall. My GF is also on the wall but she's about 30 feet below us. Progress is slow as we have to anchor in as we go rather than top roping. Since I've never done this before, I make very cautious moves. A storm is coming in, though, so we scramble up the remainder and head inside the building on top. We are getting on the bus to take us home, when I remember my GF. I exit the bus and run back for her, only to find someone else is bringing me her stuff saying that she went to dry off. I get back on the bus and we head to a very fancy hotel/ resort. We exit the bus slightly far way from the actual entrance for some reason and I'm walking in the rain with Mom and Grandpa who I know has passed away. I know he can't really be here but I pass t off and don't think anymore on it. We reach an entrance to the hotel which opens into a restaurant. I'm so soaked that I spend a couple seconds in the doorway to shake and wring my hair out, dumping a significant amount of water on the floor. Later, I'm at the hotel pool with many friends. We come across a large pool, but it's apparently only the hot tub. I go farther to try and find the actual pool, but end up down some stairs leading to a construction area.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening Student protests in Coimbra. They invade shops. I am at one of those shops with a friend. They want to lock us in with the owner. I protest and they say I have to join them if I wanna stay free. At vacation, on some hotel by the sea. it has balconies literally over the water. A shark jumps out of the water and lands on a balcony and tries to attack me. But I get out of the way and someone else picks the animal by the tail and throws it back into the water. I go to the souvenir shop, feel like buying something but wonder "why waste money"? Anyway I find nothing that I might want. Driving through a scenic road by the side of a river. See some car crashed against a wall. Then I see a dog getting in front of my car and I also almost crash. I turn quickly but encounter another dog ahead. This time I lose control of the car, which flies over the river and lands on other side. The dogs, kindly jump on the water and swim to go save me. People I know come looking for me and organize a rescue. I say I am fine and that the dogs saved me and they are the ones who should be rescued not me, hoping someone will adopt them.
I am at 10 Torr for a celebration for one of the cousin’s graduation. This place looks similar, but not exactly the same. It seems to be a little smaller and a bit more homey. It’s still a square room but has more of a kitchen vibe due to the counter and the décor. It also seems to be wrapping up; Aly is behind the counter, putting things away. It seems like nobody is left at this point. I was going to try one more drink, but I’ll be fine without it. Mom is sitting with me at the counter. It looks like it’s going to be closed now, but then a 20-something year old guy shows up behind the bar. It seems they’re now open or regular business. Two girls, maybe in their late 20s or early 30s, are already taking a seat at the bar. The guy looks to them, looking a little disheveled. The girl closer to me starts ordering something with orange/grapefruit juice, but the girl by her completely cuts her off, ordering something with the same juice but a little more specific. The guy doesn’t seem to care; he lets her finish and then turns to the first girl to let her finish. The first girl waits a moment and then makes a snide comment to the other. The guy is now looking to us. I notice two small, empty glasses on the counter in front of us, and it worries me for a moment, making me think for some reason that Mom might have a drink. I ask for ‘just a coffee liqueur and vodka’, oddly self conscious of my voice. Mom orders something kind of specific that I’ve never heard of; it sounds like some kind of mock tail. The drinks come out quickly, and it looks like they’re in small white bowls and not glasses. Mom’s looks like a strawberry ice cream or really frothy strawberry milk topped with whipped cream and a slice of banana. Mine looks like it has cream in it and then it tastes like it does too. When the guy comes back over I assertively but kindly tell him what it was supposed to be, and he fixes it. I now try Mom’, and it does seem nonalcoholic. Her face looks a little sad to me. Melissa has been waiting in a car outside, and I’ve been texting her. She’s being kind of sassy. I’m not sure why she’s just been waiting out there. I look outside and briefly see her and it looks like she’s changed into a pajama shirt. (fragment) I am outside and climbing/ scrambling around on some granite boulders all together and overlapping one another. I hear Kat? narrating like Jon (or Luke Larson?) is climbing, though it’s definitely just me here. She is sort of talking it up and pointing out the danger of the boulders being right behind you. I am in street shoes and sort of pulling on some holds and playing with different moves. The grainy holds are pretty decent and slightly chalked. I don’t think it’s even completely vertical, and I don’t think it’s all that hard. I think the boulder behind you is close enough that you could put out a leg or arm and stop yourself before you would fall into it. This small boulder field slowly turns into the top of a backyard. I’m standing on top of the smaller boulders with Kat, looking toward the house. There is a small, neat lawn and a few neat trees nearer the house. The house also gives the impression of being neat. (fragment) I am at work with Laynie and a small group has done a grab and run out of the door 18 emergency exit. We catch up with them in the stairwell. It’s about 3-4 teens or preteens. One of the girls is reminiscent of the blond 13 year old girl that was taking pictures of herself doing gang signs. She sort of talks back, but ultimately we are in control. We are being hard on them but they seem to not get it. I think we have them out in the parking lot. (fragment) I’m with Scott and Tyson? downtown when they see something going on through a hotel room. We are going to go in to see what’s going on. These hotel rooms seem to be in an overpass that we are walking under. I don’t like not being able to see and not really know what’s going on. I think it has to do with a shooting or someone with a gun.
I am outside somewhere with whom I am pretty sure is Scott from work. The area looks like stereotypical Nevada scenery - gentle hills, dirt, and sagebrush. I am chewing on what seems to be a few tiny pieces of bone, separating any meat left on them. As I listen to Scott talk, I spit the pieces completely devoid of meat. He is telling me about Nathaniel’s girlfriend and how she goes somewhere or has access to somewhere (due to wealth, family, etc.). We’re apparently going to use her connections to go there as well. I picture her, think about telling him I know her, then tell him “Kevin, I mean Nathaniel, is one of my old best friends.” I am with one or two employees at work (it is not really work, but seems more like a multiple level shopping center or hotel). I think Hunter is one of them. We’re each carrying a stack of jeans and when we walk past a man one of us gets the idea to say something that makes it sound like we’re trying to steal these. The man falls for it and starts following us. We end up down on the ground floor and outside or in an outdoor entryway area, right outside the elevator. I think we’ve left the jeans elsewhere, and the man is gone too. I’m looking at the gap between the elevator and the floor that is exposed by the open doors. I shine my phone’s flashlight into it, tentatively, afraid of dropping my phone down it. I contemplate what happens to things that are dropped down there. I can’t see the bottom.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening At some kind of hotel in the country, boars come down a road around the building and everybody goes see it through the windows. I want to take picture, but I get too late, think I only catch a glimpse. Meanwhile someone's walking a dog and the boars pass right by, peacefully. Go on the subway with some kid and another adult, we're doing some study and I need to ask people money for the purpose of whatever survey we're doing. We check the coins we got from people and some dude comes to rob us. I fight back, he steals my purse. I chase him, we fight. He says I gotta let go and throws the purse far away. I say I don't care about the money (it is very little) I just want to teach him a lesson. And I beat him really bad. On top of some building with acoustic resonance, it's made of metal structure. It makes a hum with some organic or digital noises. I have a security clearance for access to this building. I detect threats and detect something weird involving one lab where they do genetic stuff, but also some time related search. Some guy robbed a scientist carrying a new formula on a syringe he thought gave him superpowers, but instead it just ages him very fast. He freaks bout, tries to reverse time on the department of time travels. He opens a portal that has consequences for 2022: the economy will shift and poor will get rich, rich will get poor. The people in charge want to fix the interference, but it reaches public knowledge and the people don't want it changed. Live in a farm in the middle of nowhere. A couple of dudes on an helicopter with a large package dangling under, land and request asylum. I allow them in, but soon realize they are up to no good. I hear them sating they need to get rid of me, I tell them I don't care what they are really up to. They don't buy it. I say I need to take care of my chores and leave them, but one of them goes after me and sees that the farm is a façade for a secret military complex that I keep. I am actually an AI android or some kind of genetically improved super soldier. They get scared, they think they know what project this might be, they are military too maybe. I manage to dodge them and lock myself in a room making a plan for what to do with these two. Then I go to a flying car and simply leave, locking up the compound with them inside.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening Friends running a school bar. Not going well, failling at pleasing costumers, lots of technical fails when playing live music. One night I come to help, suggest spontaneous performances, I sing a bit, people start to enjoy and I tell my friends it is a matter of time all problems get fixed and costumers start coming, since there are no competitors. A high fashion model is doing a photoshoot, she is really tired and upset with how it's going. I stay to watch and help her out and realize it's really a hard time for her. She is doing a series of photos wearing weird conceptual stuff, she can't move once its on and they have to carry her up some rocks, through caves, cold and wet places. Then at some point they want her to climb a vertical cliff because everyone else is afraid to do it and help her. I help her and she is very thankful. I watch some adorable movie and since there are now bendable screens, we can get a movie on a sticker, glue it to any surface and I take it to a bench by the sea and stick it there for people to watch if they sit there. I meet some kids with a tiny tiny puppy, they let me play with him, then I ask if they bought or adopted. The girl confesses they bought, kind of scared of my reaction as she noticed I meant it as criticism, but I try to be civil and say it's ok, they didn't know better and explain to them why adopting from shelters is so important and buying animals is wrong. Picking wood for my fireplace near my mom's house, but then head to a hotel instead of my home. My room is full of flour and other cake ingredients all over my bed. I tidy it up.
I am at work, in the clearance section. Two or three guys are browsing together over here; one of them approaches me, holding a pure white men's jumpsuit, saying he’s looking for a different size. I quickly scan all of the hanging white items as well as the single rack that’s on the wall by the jeans. I come back over to tell him that I didn’t find any, when we see a folded, white dress shirt on the cream white and fairly empty shelf in front of us at shoulder height. I casually offer it as a possible substitute. He unfolds it to find out that it’s actually a tuxedo vest. He says something like ‘oh nice, a vest,’ like it would actually work for him. As he is unfamiliar and possessing of a sort of expressionless face, I can’t tell if he’s being serious or if he’s fucking with me. I now unfold another, and this one is actually a dress shirt. It’s close to a jumpsuit in only the material - it’s heavier, like a broadcloth, also a cream white. This guy is actually happy with it and is going to get it. After they have left, I end up putting some items in the clearance next to the kids shoes. The shoes are on a torso-high display and looking pretty disheveled. There are way more things in this section than in real life. I start walking somewhere else, and the whole place is different and much larger than in real life. It seems more open; there’s a sort of skywalk to another part of the mall (or casino? - it feels a little like a casino). Over by it, I briefly help a Hispanic man look for something before I go to do something else. I end up over by the suits fitting room. There’s a computer desk at the wall opposing the opening at which sits Evelyn. I have the impression that someone’s been trying to call me on this radio, but I’m not entirely sure. I ask Evelyn if they have, and she says yes. Someone (the lady at work with sort of darker skin and frizzy hair who I think is a supervisor and whose name I’m not sure of) starts walking over to me, saying that I didn’t really help my customer if I didn’t completely follow through (referencing the Hispanic man). She directs our attention to the man who is standing on the skywalk, arms crossed, but not in an unpleasant way. He’s wearing a plum colored long sleeve with a vest over it, blue jeans, and cowboy boots. He seems dependent on the help, not in a co-dependent way, but more like he is turning the trust over to the employee. I tell this supervisor sorry, I was helping someone else and so my radio was down, slowly adjusting the volume up as I speak. I do feel poorly for leaving him and for not hearing the radio. I tell her I know I was helping him, but I forget what for, and ask if she knows. I genuinely am trying to remember. There’s another employee too, and they look slightly incredulous. I can’t tell if they find it funny or think I’m stupid or both. At one point, someone was ridiculing me for something, and it irritated me enough that I considered bringing it up to someone higher up. Anyway, I attempt to make it right and start walking over to the man. There is a rush of people moving in both directions, causing me to lose sight of him. I reach the top of the incline on this skywalk so I can survey it all the way to the bottom, but he is nowhere to be found. I double back and still, nothing. I’m by an elevator now; it is closing, so I get the notion to jump into it while I can. Literally jumping forward into it, the doors brush me on each side before closing on my JCP key lanyard trailing behind me. I pull it out and turn around to be greeted by two Hispanic men. They both seem genial and good-natured, and they both seem to think my jumping into this elevator was somewhat funny if not unexpected. One of them is shorter and more portly; I think he has a mustache. I dryly say either “that was close” or “just barely made it.” They begin talking to me, slipping into Spanish. It is too fluent for me to understand most of it. I think on a different floor now, I see the door closing. It is closing on a chubby white family with a daughter. I don’t know why we haven’t let them on, so I am awkwardly diverting my glance. Doors closed now, we need to choose a floor. They tell me ‘tres’ and I go to press 3 but mistakenly press something else. I can’t entirely read the numbers on the round, silver buttons. For whatever reason, I end up just pressing all of them, the off white light illuminating behind each in succession downwards. I think the elevator is going to the highest floor first. It ascends, and part of the wall must be glass, because I can see what looks like the Atlantis casino outside the elevator. [As in looking into the Atlantis (from within) from the elevator, not as in looking out at the Atlantis]. I think the men now exit and I continue up one more floor. The doors open, revealing a floor that appears to be one huge hot tub. There’s a low ceiling and dim but colored (blue?) lighting that plays on what is either bubbles or an excess of foam. There’s an unassuming swim up bar, and I think a pool up above it. A young boy climbs up and over the bar counter to get to it. I don’t think I’m in the water, but I am conscious of its proximity to my clothes and my radio. I start to think about staying here and using the hot tub, imagining sneaking onto the hotel room floor to find a towel from a room being serviced or the service cart itself. I wonder if anyone at work would notice my prolonged absence, but figure it’s a large place so maybe not.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening Going to some Buddhist teachings and staying at some hotel in front of the teachings place. The buildings are New Orleans type. The hotel is just by the side of a gay bar. By chance, or not, I am put next door to my teacher's room, who is staying at the same hotel, but I don't know it until I go hang some clothes to dry at the balcony and realize it is a common balcony and I see some attendant preparing a tray with tea for him. But I don't see him. Then it gets confusing, with people circulating through my room thinking it is an extension of his suite. Although, in fact there are connecting doors between the rooms. I get dressed and later go join group lunch, which is in a long table where everybody eats together, some 30 people. I don't see my teacher, but there is only one vacant seat at the top and I sit, hoping it is not his place. I know the girls sitting on both sides, they tell me it is ok to sit, we chat, we have a good time. Suddenly I look up and as some people got up from their chairs or are leaning backwards and I see my teacher to the left, in the middle of the table, staring at me and I feel embarrassed. I smile but then look down, then look up at him, then look down and I repeat it a couple more times. His eyes are locked on me. Then he gets up and goes to balcony over our heads to tell some story and a couple people act the story out. On the balcony wall appears a giant slug, yellow or orange, leaving a mucus trail and then appears a sea cucumber, also in flashy colors. Some girls are going crazy over our teacher and like famished beings they lean against the wall and stretch their arms until they reach the base of the balcony. In their rush to kiss their guru's feet, they lick the animal's slime and apparently swallow the animals. I find it gross, but then again, I also think why I find it gross. It is just my perception. Except for the poor animals, I worry that they swallowed them out needlessly. So I also reach out to look at the floor of the balcony and I see the slug and the other animal languishing on the floor and I feel relief. Meanwhile I feel something coming out of my mouth, it's disturbing and I also feel embarrassed, because my guru is still looking at me. I start pulling a small white embroidery from my mouth and keep pulling a white thread behind it. But it's not over, then my mouth is full of beads and I collect them out one by one. My teacher is looking with admiration, so I assume it's not a bad thing.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening I am pretending to be an alien, for some reason. I am wearing prosthetics in my body, which I feel that won't fool anyone, but as long I keep serious about it, people are believing me. Living at my mom's with other people. It is a dystopian world, no rule of law, people self-organize, but we have managed to cope. Until someone passing by shows us we should be leaving now and join a bigger community as the gangs who pillage are coming our way and will burn everything. I agree and start choosing what's essential to take, but end up caught up by attachment to all secondary stuff, because I can't stand imagining it all going up in flames. But there is no way I can take 90% of the stuff with me. At my paternal grandma's house with my mom. We wake up early morning hearing voices, it's some cousins who arrived and joined us. But although their faces are familiar, I have no idea who they are. At breakfast the group has grown with some 4 more family members, uncles and aunts I have no idea who they are. They all behave very at ease around the breakfast table, leaving a lot of dirty dishes and eating my food without any care, but they supposedly are family and I try to keep it cool. At some hotel or hostel during some Buddhist teachings I am attending. A couple of Asian guys knocks on my door. One is a big guy and looks Chinese. He hands me an envelope, but it is already open. It contains some money and a letter from my teacher, but clearly all pages are out of order and I wonder if the money is all there. I get rally mad that the guys opened the letter. I start reading it and despite the calligraphy I can actually understand but with the effort to concentrate on what it says, I wake up.
Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions 2018-12-11 Biblical surgery and alien eviction leads through death to a search for stronger communication with my stomach, realised through talking to a white horse/camel. This entry will be written in Danish as I intend to use it in therapy. Drømmen starter med at jeg ser et opslag på Facebook. Dette er et som Casper Møller har delt og er et billede og en tekst af 1:1 revelations (kan ikke huske navnet) med en mand der ligger på en mellemting mellem en sarkofag og et operationsbord. Det har en meget stærkt tema om Lucifer, hans fald og periodiske genopstandelse før Jesus vender tilbage. Billedet er også en video og jeg klikker på den og en stemme går i gang med at læse teksten op. Mens teksten læses op suges jeg ind I scenariet. Jeg bliver til en dæmonisk skikkelse, der ligner en klassisk grå alien fra diverse film. Det er mig der opererer på manden der ligger på bordet. Der er en forholdsvis ondskabsfuld stemning, som dog skifter I løbet af forløbet. På en eller anden måde stopper den her alien/jeg op og får ændret situationen og gennemfører ikke operationen. Faktisk kommer en anden alien ind I billedet og ser ud til at glæde sig til at deltage, men den første begynder at slå sig selv I stykker og på grund af et eller andet han har lavet på operationsbordet betyder det at den nye tilkommer også begynder at gå I stykker. Dette får dem begge til at flygte. De flygter ud af lange og smukke gange, der er rødlige og har et royalt udseende, og mens de flygter ses der billeder af maget muskuløse mænd og kentauere der bliver vækket – på en eller anden måde med fornyet gejst på grund af rumvæsnernes flugt – og jager rumvæsnerne ud. Scenariet skifter hurtigt til at se paladset udenfor. Det virker til at finde sted på en anden planet, men det er lyst og det ser meget æstetisk og majestætisk ud. Ud fra det sted hvor den lange gang ville være kommer nu et gylden sfærisk fartøj, som er rumvæsnernes. Det beskyder byen under det med nogle gyldne laser stråler, men besvares så rigeligt af byens blå laser stråler og forsvinder til sidst. Der skippes. Jeg ligger udenfor ved en svømmepøl, jeg ved blot at jeg ligger og der er en fornemmelse af at ting “stopper”. Dette finder sted et par gange. Vejret er grålig og det virker til at det trækker op til regn, selvom det har en sydlandsk feriestemning over sig. Der sidder fire mennesker foran mig, hvor en af dem er min mor. Muligvis min kusine, min far og en fjerde ubekendt. Min mor fortæller. “Nåh, han er i gang med hans døds-process” og insinuerer at det bare skal have lov til at fortsætte. Jeg er meget forvirret hver gang jeg vågner og det er svært helt at beskrive hvad der sker. Min bevidsthed fortætter ligesom og jeg føler mig stadig som mig selv, men det er som om der er noget der stopper og som om at det hele stivner til og jeg falder ind I mig selv. Da det er ved at være overstået vender min mor sig imod mig og krammer mig, på en kvælende og klam måde, som gør at jeg bliver nødt til at skubbe hende væk. Hun spørger mig: “Du gennemgik din døds-process, det var meget spændende, hvor mange gange døde du?” hvortil jeg svarer “Det ved jeg ikke helt, måske 3-5”. Da jeg svarer dette er vi nu indenfor I et hotel, med et meget ru gulv med små sten der har en gummiagtig karakter at gå på. Det hele er meget blåligt og jeg siger. “Jeg ved ikke helt hvor jeg er, det er enormt forvirrende det hele, det eneste jeg kan se er at jeg er I et blåt hotel, jeg aner ikke hvorfor eller hvor lang tid vi har været her.” Jeg kan ikke huske om min mor rent faktisk spørger mig om jeg kan huske mit værelsesnummer, men jeg siger I hvert fald “jeg bor på værelse 422”, hvortil min søster og mor griner en smule og en af dem siger: “Nej du bor på værelse 527”. Jeg føler mig ikke stødt over deres latter, men finder en trappe jeg kan gå op af der kan tage mig til mit værelse. Den første trappe går ikke højt nok op, mens den anden faktisk går højt nok op og også indikerer at mit værelse ligger lige rundt om hjørnet. Problemet er blot at der er en glasplade der fungerer som et bord lige overfor trappen I hjørnet der blokkerer, eller I det mindste gør det enormt besværligt og måske endda lidt farligt, min vej. Endvidere når jeg kigger hen til venstre I retningen af mit værelse kan jeg se at vejen er spæret af en glasdør og bagved dem står der nogle lamper der indikerer at den vej er brugt som et hyggehjørne og vil gøre det hele endnu mere besværligt. Så jeg vælger i stedet at gå ned igen. Jeg går udenfor og har min madras med som jeg normalt sover på. Den skal børstes af og det går op for mig at der er nogle eller en person(er) der ofte går over den og efterlader en masse sand på den, så den skal rystes. Jeg kan også mærke en smule irritation omkring det, men ved ikke helt hvem det er. Herefter skifter scenen til at jeg nu ligger på min madras på mit værelse I hovedgård, som det ser ud. Kaiseren – eller I hvert fald en mørk skikkelse med hans energi – kommer ind og giver mig en dåse danskvand. Jeg åbner den og begynder ivrigt at drikke da jeg er super tørstig. Kaiseren siger “Pas på med at drikke for meget, det kan være giftigt”. Jeg drikker – lidt trodsigt – halvdelen af dåsen hurtigt, og sætter den fra mig og siger “Det gør ikke noget det gør ikke noget for mig det her” og kan mærke at jeg stadig er ekstremt tørstig og tør om munden. Jeg hopper ud af sengen og går ud af en dør og befinder mig nu I en baggård. Der er en have-lignende stemning, det er lidt mørkt og der står en palme I midten af græsset. En ældre kvinde med kort krøllet gråt hår og store runde briller – mens jeg skriver dette kommer en tredje association ind – som minder om min Moster og Kirsten, min terapeut, men også en klient jeg har – Lotte. Hun siger “Dennis du bliver nødt til at forbinde dig med din mave, den kan nok være lidt svær at komme I kontakt med fordi du putter så meget lort I den.” Jeg svarer: “Jamen det lyder mega fedt, jeg vil vildt gerne I mere kontakt med min mave” og tænker straks på de nylige spændinger, smerter og ukendte emotionelle påvirkninger jeg har oplevet. Jeg begynder at blive lucid her da jeg begynder at kalde “Mave! Mave!” hvor den kvindelige figur stopper op og siger: “Du skal følge vinden, hvis du vil finde hvad du søger”. Hun får implicit fortalt at jeg blot skal finde den retning hvor der er direkte modvind hvis jeg vil etablere kontakt til min mave igen. Jeg er vildt begejstret for dette trick og kan mærke at jeg kan bruge det I fremtidige drømme også. Jeg drejer mig rundt – imod uret – og finder ud af at der hvor vinden blæser mig lige I fjæset er der en lille sti imellem to bygninger der leder ud til vejen. Jeg begynder at gå derhen og ser en strandpromenade, som minder om den jeg har været på så mange gange I Thailand, og mens jeg går råber jeg “Mave!” gentagen. Jeg ser en Raptor gå forbi udenfor og bliver en smule skeptisk. Jeg snupper en kort pause og fortsætter så. Nu kommer jeg ud og kan se ned på vejen – jer er pludselig I et hotelværelse – og der går en masse spændende mennesker, dyr og andre objekter jeg kunne interagere med dernede. Jeg råber igen “Mave!” og ser til venstre, hvor der går en T-Rex, som jeg jo har historie med, og træder et skridt tilbage. Jeg står nu I et relativt lille og mørkt hotelværelse, foran vinduet der er firkantet og med klart sol lys skinnende igennem. Jeg beslutter mig for at hvis det er T-Rexen jeg skal snakke med for at komme I kontakt med min mave, så må det være sådan det er u-anset hvor bange jeg måtte være for det. Så jeg træder ud på taget og ser pludselig at der er længere ned end jeg havde regnet med. Jeg bliver lidt bange for bare at hoppe ud I det, så sætter mig ned I lotus stilling indtil jeg begynder at svæve ned. Jeg kan mærke på vej derned at der er lidt meget fart på, det er nok til at hjertet lige slår et ekstra slag uden jeg er bange for at slå mig. Dog fornemmer jeg at jeg har mistet overblikket så meget at den vej jeg gerne ville ned på med de mange dyr og mennesker ikke vil være der, fordi jeg har mistet mit fokus. Jeg tænker dog også at det ikke vil gøre noget. Da jeg endelig lander ser jeg at den vej jeg var på er væk. Den jeg står på er mindre befærdet og det er pludselig blevet nat, men det er faktisk stadig den samme strandpromenade. Jeg tænker at de nok skal gå og råber igen “Mave!” og spinner mellem 270 og 360 grader rundt om mig selv imod urets retning. Her ser jeg en stor hvid hingst komme løbende og mens jeg råber “Mave!” begynder den at ride hen imod mig. Jeg spørger den om den er min mave og I det jeg gør det bliver den til en hvid kamel, med tre pukler, hvor den forreste af de 3 er delt I 2, selvom det ser sundt og raskt ud, som om den egentlig blot bærer en genetisk mutation der giver den denne tredje to-delte pukkel. Den svarer at den er min mave og jeg knæler for den, hvilket den svarer med at lægge dens venstre hov på mit tredje øje. Derefter skifter den til at blive en venlig og varm 44-årig mand, med kort gråt hår. Jeg spørger “Hvad skal jeg gøre for at komme I bedre kontakt med dig” og han svarer “Din mormor kom til at trykke en lille knogle I stykker hernede (inde I højre hofteskål, hvor psoas løber) da du var 3 år gammel, det var ikke med vilje, men det kan man også se på billeder.” Der er en implicit besked der handler om at denne skade/traume ikke har været kendt og at noget kropsterapi kan have forværret det, men også at der ligger noget derfra der stadig rumsterer. Jeg svarer “Ah, jamen jeg har jo også fået scannet indersiden af mine hofter, så der vil man kunne se det?” han svarer “Jaaa, jooo.” med en tudelig intonering om at det ikke er helt rigtigt, men at det heller ikke er helt ved siden af. Drømmen Ender og jeg vågner med en meget rolig, afslappet og rar fornemmelse I kroppen. Det var tidligt, men jeg stod op og fik mediteret med min mave som fokus, fik lavet yoga, danset og TRE og fik mig noget morgenmad og følte mig godt tilpas. Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions
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