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DELETED

My rich friend and I are shopping in some rich European type store. I tell her I've had enough, I'm tired, and we go to leave. We try to get out of the store by way of this strange exit at the plaza. We must go through the fur coat section, which disturbs me, but I say nothing. We find a ladder we have to climb to get out. As we climb we joke about escape from the privileged life, and she jokes that we are somewhere between many portions of fillet mignon beef. I laugh at this random and obscure idea. She tells me that she realizes now that she was tired of this rich life.

We climb all the way to the top, then slide down some crazy water slide like things that have no water. I get distracted by a girl who keeps going up and down the slides, complaining about her wardrobe malfunctions. My friend is also getting too distracted by the girl. I look at my watch and I'm horrified to realize that it's 19:25, and I was supposed to be on a train to Toronto at 19:24. I was supposed to meet up with my family at the hockey game (strange, as I absolutely HATE hockey) there. I start swearing and having a meltdown.

Me and my friend run full out to the Haubtbahnhof. It's a mess of criss crossing tracks in a very unGerman looking chaotic mess. There are very complex and difficult to understand train numbers which make me feel panic that I won't be able to find the right train. Somehow we find out that I have to wait for the number 10, then transfer to the number 7. We're walking on a glass platform that has a film of water running over top of it, giving the illusion of walking on water. I can see the shadows of fish below me. I take out a small rusk cake and crumble it up to feed the fishes, whispering a spell as I sprinkle it into the water.
Some onlooking French men are curious asking me what I am doing, what is that dust I am sprinkling.

The train arrives now and it looks as though it's passed through a rainstorm. I get the feeling there was a hail storm somewhere. I squeeze into the first very cramped car of the train. It's very dark and close in there. A disabled man in an automated wheel chair departs the train. I manage to find 2 free seats but my friend is sitting a couple of rows ahead, speaking Japanese to some stranger. I didn't realize she was coming with me.

I notice that the train is called "Noodles" rather than whatever it is supposed to be called. I ask the driver and he says we have to get out at the terminus station called Noodles and walk down the train tracks in the underground tunnel to get to the next stop. It's been like this all day, he tells me, perhaps there is construction.

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID
BOLD IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

This is a complete but rough draft
From a couple nights ago


Spirituality's Just a Clunky Flashlight: Surprise Gratitude

I wasn’t expecting to have another lucid dream. Not since I did the other night after probably years of not remembering a lucid dream. I wasn’t even particularly focused on it last night, I was more interested in the emotional processing of dreams I’ve been remembering.

Before falling asleep, I went into the deepest meditation I think I’ve experienced before. During this meditation I was using audio with delta binaural (as well as other aspects) for the first time. I had used the demo before, before falling asleep and having the first lucid dream in this journal. That was the first lucid dream I remembered in a long time and it happened maybe 3 nights before the lucid dream in this journal entry.

There were many exceptionally vivid visuals that arose during the meditation. I kept coming back to my breath, but sometimes would just give in to the feeling of witnessing instead, feeling like why focus on the breath if that’s not the real point? Being the Witness is. Then I would lose my deeper connection with witnessing and come back to my breath. Cyclic.

I finished the meditation, rolled on my side, and meditated a bit without audio. I jumped when my name and something else was said in my ear. It seemed like a loud voice because of my stillness, but it was a whisper as if coming from a man, a lover, behind me. It was just so real and audible that it startled me.

I fell asleep normally, not trying to WILD or whatnot.

My mom in the living room, then in my room. Us conversing throughout this. Having the sense that I’m both in my living room and in my bed asleep simultaneously. She kind of giggles at me. I wonder if she’s there with me or not, if I’m hallucinating or something. She comes to my room and I’m only there, not in two places at once anymore. My window is open and there is a breeze. I ask her to close it for me; I don’t want to get up. She starts to close just the blinds and I ask her to close the window as well. She does. (Was some man coming toward the window, flying?)

I thought, this is a dream.

Darkness, vague sense of my body and no surroundings, as if I had my eyes closed in the dream. A strong, turning slowly in bed sensation. I couldn’t control it. slowly, over, over, tipping the sensation of falling at the same time. The slow shift ended.

Walking, it is rather dark around me, a kind of muddy and empty yet dense darkness, like mist. Around something, turning, perhaps it was a small gate that I walked around.

The dream felt very ordinary. Almost disappointing.

meditated for a few breaths but then

wanted to experiment with other things

Asked to see my higher self (I don’t think I reflected on the forum thread specifically, but knew it was something I wanted to do.)

A muted gray "wheel of fortune" with different faces on it, spinning slowly. alternating panels of dark grey and darker grey. Thought it was a very fitting image for how I conceive of a higher self intellectually.

Kinda sorta looked like this

Seemed somewhat boring, too intellectual.

I asked to see what I “need to see”. saw a white light in nothing, black background.

Questioned what I was seeing, like, this? Thought of typical images of god as light.

After waking I thought of the similarities to Alex Grey’s God sacred mirror painting. Similar colors.

I looked for depth in the light but it seemed kind of boring. Again, too intellectual perhaps. On reflection, was it the center of that higher self wheel?

After thinking it was boring, another light moved into my vision as if responding to my thought. I realized it had been there but I hadn’t seen it. It was so bright when I started to focus on it. I questioned that this was really what I needed to see, thought I was just making it up. I reflected on the light being there all along, but I hadn’t seen it next to the dullish moon-like first light. The bright light fell onto the dark ground next to me. It clattered and I saw it was a flashlight.

I guess I dismissed it, that is the feeling I have after waking, and felt joy at being lucid in the dream world

I took a moment to feel gratitude and amazement at this lucid experience. I remembered a show I’d seen the other day about dreaming and how the brain comes alive with activity more than at any other time. I saw that clear image of the brain and nervous system pulsing with activity, inside my body. Deep, shimmering, pervasive gratitude hit and filled me.

Similar to the end of this video.

I felt grateful for being in this state and a deep appreciation and almost affection for my body for allowing it. It felt like this state was healing me. It was that awed, blissful feeling in dreams that I desire to experience more.

I looked around and saw a lit up tunnel in the dark distance, like a tunnel for cars. I decided to try to conjure something. What popped into my conscious mind was a baby and I immediately tried to conjure one. (Odd because in waking life I don’t feel much desire to have a baby, though I love to be around them.) The attempt at conjuring was so quick, it seemed to step on the heel of the thought of a baby. I wanted to give it love and feel its love.

A cat had already been walking up to me. Small, solid, short haired. I concentrated on changing it and a baby’s light transparent image superimposed over the cat for a second but that cat wasn’t going away. I thought about learning more about dream control and gave up on the baby thought.

The cat talked in a witch’s type voice. (Funny, now I remember that I had been listening to Ken Wilber the day before this dream and I’d thought about Ken’s voice being grating and nasal, kind of like a witch.)

The cat seemed sinister.

I picked it up, being careful not to hurt it. Held it like a baby, then shifted it into a more upright position. I thought of it being like Chaos, (my loved and peculiar cat that died a few years ago,) but no, not Chaos.

The physical sensations in this dream were very obvious. The light breeze, the cat against my chest and under my hands.

The cat said it wanted a kiss in that same crackling, grinding, deep yet high witch’s voice. I wasn’t sure if it would hurt me or not. I took its face in my hand and held its mouth closed and gave it a kiss.

I remember its teeth and the feel against my lips.

I was afraid of being bitten (the only times I’ve remembered feeling intense physical pain in dreams was when I was bitten. It has happened twice.)

It was talking like it wanted to hurt things. I kind of tuned it out while I tried to decide what to do. I thought it was talking about wanting to hurt a baby and other darkness, I could hear it but I was only half-hearing and half-aware. It kept talking on and on.

At some point I flew low to the ground

That tunnel, somewhat lit, going into it. On my feet now. The cat still in my arms. Did I put it down? I think so.

Fear and darkness, though I wasn’t completely overcome by the fear. I remember looking down to the other end of the tunnel.

The dream changed

Walking slowly through an office
many people at desks in this main room
one man I identify with emotionally as I walk by is creative
he is conjuring a model/landscape of buildings on his desk that rise up slowly and gracefully

much like the Game of Thrones intro.

The young man seemed very creatively developed but he felt stuck and repressed.

I felt myself fading out of the dream slowly, into nothingness. Nothingness for a bit. I hoped I wasn’t coming out of the dream. Heard a sound, realized it was like breathing. I still felt like I was sleeping. Still. Then I tested my breath, tried to change its rhythm slightly and felt the change, felt the air going through my nose like when I meditate. damn, I’m awake.

This dream helped me put my finger on that feeling of bliss that I’ve experienced in dreams many times that is so profound and just expansive and freeing. Gratitude. And appreciation. A deeper love than egoic love, though it is kind of like the feeling of when you first fall in love and everything is vibrant and feels like you’re bursting.

So this is what gratitude is. Fuck. I want to be grateful more! LOL. I’m grateful for wanting to be grateful, even.

So strong. I’m going to practice bringing that into my walking life.

I just felt some gratitude while saying that and it warmed my stomach (where some deep emotional knots are). Gratitude. Wow. God and gratitude seem the same at this moment.

Reminds me of a woman I know who is so vibrant so much of the time. Gleeful in a grounded and beautifully feminine way. She showed me about being feminine in a positive and not fake way, truly feminine. I’d tended toward being a tom boy before that. Well, I still do but I also appreciate that exuberant feminine side.

Now I want to love. Everything. (Dammit, bring back that creepy cat!)

It feels like the gratitude for my body and brain lit up with lucidity was what I “needed to see”. A roundabout answer to a question I wasn’t sure how to ask. Being grateful, I feel in a sense like my higher self, as discussed in the thread.

Since that dream I’ve researched practices in gratitude. Tonglen and others have appeared. My main focus is bringing it to all of my life (waking, dreaming, lucid, all). Now, can I be grateful while being with that cat or other similar darknesses? Yes, I’ve experienced that to degrees. Experienced gratitude along with protective boundaries simultaneously. I don't want to get stuck in "blank gratitude" – not consciously to the extent that I’d hurt myself with it.

The emotional tone of the gratitude in the dream and that came with me into waking life is hit on in the tone of this song.

Nothing In Between by Stuart Davis

Nothing In Between by Stuart Davis

Spoiler for Lyrics:

There is nothing in between us when we sleep
Every night the bliss begins to leak
Nothing in between us when we laugh
it’s something that our head will never grasp

It’s seen in between

There’s nothing in between your joy and mine
It’s all a lot of nectar on the vine
Joy is how my parents were entwined
and there’s nothing in between their lives and mine

We’ve seen

There’s nowhere to hide in the open Reality
Love is so wide, there isn’t a boundary
There is only one eye without any enemy
when you’ve seen in between

There’s nothing in between our skin and light
Nothing in between the wind and kite
Nothing in between our lips and grace
Nothing in between the tongue and taste

It’s seen

(Refrain)

There is nothing in between you and I
Nothing in between blue and sky
Nothing in between us and love
Nothing in between wings and doves

(Refrain)

There is nothing
in between

non dream - lucid - non lucid

I'm not sure sure at which point I started dreaming, or if I dreamed all of it, and when exactly I was lucid.
So I'll go ahead and mark things with colors like I experienced them.
In other words if I thought I was awake I'll mark it as if I was, even though I don't really know.
I have never taken any mind altering drugs, I wonder if it's anything like this...

_______

I wake up in bed... I still feel very tired.
The room is very dark and I lately leave the shutters just slightly open so I can see if it's already day when I wake up.
I assume it's still night and I want to continue sleeping.
I notice I haven't moved yet and I don't seem to sense my body.
The thought of WILD'ing crosses my mind.
It's been quite some time since I've attempted to WILD, so why not.

Right as I try to relax, the little colors I see become somewhat bright and start changing.
This was fast? I never get HI this fast, this is weird.
I realize I'm floating over my bed. Am I already dreaming?
Was I having a false awakening? I never get visuals like this when I'm dreaming though.
As my room lights up I realize that I am floating in some sort of tunnel. The room is no longer there.
I'm gently descending this tunnel of colorful clouds and lights.
I suppose I'm actually falling, but I'm falling so slowly that I'm not worried.
I actually enjoy it quite a bit, it's very relaxing.

I can hear ambient music. (something like this)


I try to focus on a color cloud. It is clearly changing it's color all the time, but I can't actually see it changing.
It changes colors right in front of my eyes, but I don't see the change, I only realize it has changed.
This has me perplexed for quite some time. Am I really dreaming? or can you actually have HI this strong?

After some time I am floating in my room again, except it's lit now. The spotlights in my room are on but they
have different colored bulbs in them.
Somehow my room looks much bigger than it is in waking life, but somehow everything is still the same size.
I don't understand how this is possible and hover over to my desk.

I take a can of coke from it because I want to know what it tastes like.
But the can is very weird. It seems way too small, but upon closer investigation it isn't.
I cannot tell if it's a normal size or a tiny can. I can't understand why I cannot distinguish this.
I wonder if this is what tripping feels like? A friend once told me he couldn't tell sizes apart when he was doing some sort of drug.

The lid of my laptop opens up by itself and it goes out of standby.
I am presented with the Visual Studio project I was working on last night.
I was working on a physics engine and needed to add support for air resistance into it, but I was too tired and went to sleep.
I don't understand why this was so hard...

I go to wikipedia and copy paste the equation for drag straight into my code.
The equation appears and the program starts on my second monitor.
I can see the numbers in the equation changing as stuff moves around in the game.
I need to test if it feels realistic, so naturally, I climb into my monitor to see if the falling physics are correct.

I'm falling down yet again, I'm in the game, but I can still see the monitor with the equation as well.
I see both things at the same time.
Whilst I am falling with my first body, I correct an error in the formula with my second body which is still in front of the pc.
I feel the corrections take effect with my in-game body and understand that everything is correct now.

I hit some key that does something and my bodies merge again and I'm back in my room.
The color clouds are back, but I can still see my bed.
But I can't see myself in it which surprises me. I was assuming to find myself sleeping in it.
I go closer and see a pulsating light where I'm supposed to be.
It's beautiful. I go closer and it turns into a galaxy.

I am now floating through this galaxy of colorful stars. I am relaxed... I feel at peace...

Here's last night's dreammmm

nonlucid

I was in a van with my dad and little sister. I was in the back. We were goin' on a trip. I don't know where. Suddenly I was at school. My dad said i'd only be there a little while. Then I left. I was in a purple tunnel like thing. In my arms was a little cute pixie animal cat thing that was apparently my baby. I cradled it and cooed. It flew up and got a little star and moon shaped thing. It absorbed them. It looked even cuter. Here, I'll describe it in full detail.
It was really small, about 7 or so inches big. It looked like a grey kitten with aqua blue wings. They were transparent-ish and they looked like butterfly wings. It had greenish eyes.
A woman in a Doctor outfit came over to me. She asked me something about how my baby was and where her daddy was. A guy appeared and hugged me, saying he was proud. I guess he was the dad. I don't remember what he looked like. I woke up then, super confused.
(btw, I had a *flashback* in the dream and remembered me givin' birth to the kitten...)

dream2: fragment
I couldnt open my left eye. When I woke up, I was laying on the left side of my face.

=D Baby pixie kittens are toooo cute!
I've had another dream with the same kitten... *thinking face*

DELETED

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

21:30 GMT – sleep

Bird-fish
A little orphan bird transforms into a fish and I help hit learning how to breathe inside the water.

Left behind by an Indian
On my way to catch a bus on a terminal. Being guided by an Indian guy who disappears in the crowd. Then I don’t know which bus I have to take. After some walking around I find him (who now is a she, dressed in a sari), on some bus stop. I ask why he/she disappeared and she replies she thought I had seen where she was going – in her eyes I could see she couldn’t care less if I’d find her or not.

The Samsara allegory
Hiking with my BF, we encounter a waterfall. The rock walls around are very white and I see some niches were people have left incense, jewels and candles. Behind the waterfall, a bit to the left is a tunnel, which looks like an entrance to a metallic bunker inside the rock. My BF decides to check it but I prefer going to see these niches on the right side of the waterfall. For that I have to escalate the rock, for there is no path and I end up falling on the water, which fortunately is just one meter under me. I climb up the rock a bit further down river and find a shop, precisely selling incense, candles and some artwork of spiritual inspiration. I spend some time there admiring some objects but then realise my BF is not coming back from the tunnel, so I decide to go after him.

I follow the tunnel and end up in a place from where a few corridors go in different directions. I go into one of the corridors and see more corridors and many many doors. I realise I will easily get lost if I don’t use something to mark my way. So I go back and then come with something to write signs on the walls.
After just a few corridors I encounter some guy and I ask him how big is this maze. He seems to be a pro and he tells me for an experienced person it takes 4 to 5 hours to find the exit, but if one is naïve it can get stuck there for ages. He tells me inside the maze we are assaulted by all kinds of hallucinations that makes us forget why we went there in the first place. I tell him I’m just looking for my BF and I will keep that in mind. But next corridor, when I am alone, I am already experiencing hallucinations. The corridor is totally submerged by a sudden torrent of water. Surprisingly I can breathe under water, but then a group of sharks appear and they start biting me. They are not big, but they still hurt me as hell, and there’s blood all over. I am feeling desperate but then I see some turbine on the wall, I turn it on and they are sucked and shredded into pieces. Then the water disappears and I remember it’s all an illusion and keep going my way. I then come across a school. The teacher seems more like a military instructor and all the students are adults but are terrified as kids. Someone pushes me inside the classroom and makes me sit on a table. Then the teacher puts a test in front of me and I look at the questions and they make absolutely no sense. I could be there for ages and I would never get it right. But I’m told I will only be allowed to leave this place when I have answered correctly to all of them. I realise that could take eons! I see on the table my BF name carved, which gives me hope – he has been there! And he escaped to somewhere!
Then I am planning my own escape, which doesn’t seem so difficult – after all it is only a classroom. But someone tells me that running away will activate some maze cops which will hunt me down and bring me back. I manage to escape but I had to keep on the move or the cops would find me. After exiting the school I encountered job "areas". Like some postal delivery company or a paper factory. This one almost got me, because as soon as we would enter these areas, they would catch us, make us work and after a while we would not remember having done anything else in life. I saw people working there and their boss yelling at them because the red paper sheets had 1 or 2 mm more than the standard measure and they had to do it all over again. And these people were totally obsessed and worried about this as if there was nothing else that mattered. I slipped through an then I passed by a gym. I saw lots of totally fit people working out really hard, suffering enormously, and their instructor kept saying “You’re still fat! You sit all day on your desks and you get fatter and fatter. Keep burning those calories!” And they all looked just fine, so I thought “This is nuts, they don’t recall anymore that this is just an elaborate hoax, a mind trick.They totally forgot where they came from and think this is all there is.”
I saw cops a few times, but I learned about backdoors and shortcuts between different maze areas, so I managed to avoid them. At some point I encountered a small group of people who were aware of the nature of this place, but they’ve been stuck there for so long that they lost some perspective. They didn’t know anymore they just needed to be aware of the hallucination and look for the exit, so they had come up with all sorts of stories on how to escape it. There was a guy totally obsessed about turnips! He had concluded in his life that some turnips with strange shapes, had magical properties and if he got the right amount and combination of them, he would be able to prepare some kind of magical elixir that would free him from the maze. He insisted that I tasted a turnip he had just found. He cut a slice and offered it to me. It was just a bland raw turnip. I wanted to help them, but they were so deluded and I was on a mission to find my BF, so I kept going.
By now I had everybody after me: cops, school teacher, gym instructor, bosses... I hadn’t found my BF but I was close to the exit, so I decided to just leave before they’d get me. I was cornered on a shop with plates and bowls and other kitchenware, but I could see a corridor that would leave me to the exit, just a few metres away. I threw plates at them as they were slowly closing me in, but they finally caught me. They grabbed my arms and legs and they abused me physically in all sorts of ways, from violence to sexual harassment. In the end I started bloating like a balloon and the gym instructor was laughing devilishly and saying “See, you didn’t work out, now you’re fat! You need to go to the gym!”. But I never forgot about exiting the maze. I kept seeing the door on my mind. I kept visualizing it. Imagining geting closer and closer and then an emergency exit just materialized on the wall in front of me. I remember feeling their grip a bit looser and thinking about running to the door and then I woke up.

5:20 GMT

Title: Wind Tunnel Date: 9/17/2010
Category: Deep Relaxation Lucidity: Mild Lucidity

Keywords: Windy, Cold, Lights, Tunnel, Flashing


Description: Today I got up at 06:00. I did my relaxation exercises and put my body into waking sleep paralysis. I was deeply relaxed and breathing comfortably. I broke trance a few times either gasping for air or I had my mouth closed and I would blow out my cheeks. I also tried some visualizations of our house what it looked like from memory walking thru different rooms. I can visualize pretty well, I just have a hard time with the dreaming part.

At one point I got cold and put on a blanket. It reminded me of that heavy lead feeling I had a few days ago. Almost immediately, my eyes began to flutter, and then the tunnel effect started with lights flashing all around me. A wave of coldness swept over my body. I then felt and heard wind blowing in my ears. I began to get excited, but tried to keep my energy low as to not collapse the feeling.... and then...NOTHING!!! I woke up.


Mental or Emotional State: Excited


Interpretation or Meaning: In dreams, air usually represents communication, freedom, or spirit. The sound of wind may represent communication or news. It may also represent a signal from the unconscious. Because wind represents movement, it may symbolize change, as in the phrase "the winds of change."

I am in Manhattan, but it feels like Manhattan from a the Spiderman 2 game. I am walking and suddenly realize that I could fly in dreams that I've had before, so why not this one? I jump off the ground with my arms stretched above me and using willpower I begin flying! I fly around for a while, taking in the sights and bathing in the feeling. I land on a tall skyscraper with about 3 neighboring towers, where enemies are scattered. I take them out crackdown style without ever leaving my building by way of dual uzis.
I realize that since I am in New York, I want to back to The Standard, the hotel where I stayed last time I was here. I begin flying towards the meatpacking district. I fly under a large overpass which makes this entire area of the city dark.
I stop inside of a green wire fence with a pool inside when I realize that the hotel is not in this dream, but this doesn't upset me too much. Instead I walk into a nearby tunnel marked by a small white archway. This has led me into the underground section of the city, which is basically just a wide white hallway. I enter a night club by a side entrance, but I decide to go around to the front to avoid seeming uninvited.
The front entrance is a very small hallway with a bar off the the side and a wooden floor, giving it almost a Japanese feel. A guy who gives me a bad vibe walks up and asks me if I have chosen a girl yet. At this point I realize that the front entrance is actually a whorehouse, and I respond to the guy that I am still looking, as it seems that we wants to kick me out. As I walk to the end of the hallway, I take a look at the women, who are all much older and not very attractive. I look in through the doorway to see the club, but I get a feeling that I should just leave.
I head up through the tunnel to the east side of the island. I climb a ramp that leads me to the middle of a college football field, with a large Victorian-style building right next to it. I meet an unknown friend and tell him that I can fly. I jump unsuccessfully a few times, and then begin flying with him on my back.
At this point I notice a small white bar in the bottom left corner of my vision. I realize that this is my flight bar, and that I can only fly as long as the meter is not empty. I drop my friend off, and then walk into the middle of a busy street. A woman is also standing next to me, and I jump into the air and start flying. I do not see her reaction as I go up too far too quickly, but I have a feeling that she didn't even notice.
As the sky gets dark a large pyramid rises from the ground just a bit north of the midpoint of the tunnel I was in earlier. The sky is lit up with lights, from stars to satellites, and especially the new lights that illuminate the pyramid. I take flight again and try to land, but my bar empties just before I can, causing me to drop suddenly a few metres above ground. I make a hard landing, bashing my ankle on the side of the pool I was at earlier, just like Eric. I have a feeling that I caused serious damage, but cannot feel it.
I see Cody and tell him that I can fly. He seems a bit jealous, and I procede to fly around the pyramid. The dream ends as I fly up the side of it.

I've had this sort of dream before, in which i discover I can fly, but it always takes a few jumps to work, and sometimes I lose the power. I do not feel that this was a full lucid dream, but every time I want to fly I can sort of control it, especially the first jumps off the ground. I also did something that I would have done if I were lucid, which is go to that hotel (or at least try).

I'm at a family members house, and there are people who I used to know well running around and basically trashing the place. They're all angry with me because I've decided I'm going to move to Hawaii. There were some smelly, gross people I didn't know and I grabbed them and threw them out of the house. They did not like this.

There was a girl, a dream character, who began yelling at me. She said that I wasn't going anywhere with my life and that I've never done anything real. She began putting makeup on her face and screaming. I stood there arguing with her about all the things I've accomplished in my life, telling her that I had done awesome things and that I was going to go places and do even more awesome things.

They got in their car and I got in mine.

The dream switched to me sitting in my old bedroom. There was nothing in the room except a bed, and two of my friends were sitting on it. They were drinking alcohol and kept offering it to me. I kept saying that I didn't want any, and they kept taunting me and teasing me. I said I wanted to make a pitcher of tea, and seconds later I was setting down a pitcher of tea. I turned around for a moment and when I turned back the girl sitting there said that she had put alcohol in the tea. "Don't worry," she said, "I diluted it with water so you won't taste it that much if you're worried." At this point I got really angry and yelled that they had tainted my tea. All I wanted was a cup of tea, and I had to drive soon to get to Hawaii.

Next thing I know, I'm driving down a long, bleak highway. Soon I'm going under overpasses and swooping stealthily in and out of traffic. There were large gaps that looked like exits, but then they would lead to nowhere or go upside down and curve along bridges so if you were to take them you would have to drive upside down. I didn't. I remember thinking to myself that if there weren't cars driving on this highway that it would be an excellent place for skateboarding.

I made it to Hawaii. I went to a cove that you had to swim through a large tunnel. I was scared to go in, it was dark and a long swim to the end where I could barely see light peeking out against the darkness. I swam across anyhow, and at the end there was a gigantic rotting yellow whale carcass. I knew that they smelled bad, because I'd encountered dead whales on the beach before. This one didn't smell bad but I plugged my nose anyhow, just in case the stench got to me.

I remember a glimpse of a map. It seemed to be computerized and zoomed far into different places on an island. I remember seeing Salvador Dali's name and thinking how I should go to his world, but then I didn't. (note: visiting there should be a lucid goal).

I remember watching a man swim far out into the ocean and find this woman... He traded bodies with her and was ecstatic to be a woman.

I think that's all.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Not a good night. Too hot and my sleep was awful. Hard to remember dreams.

1:06 GMT

Visiting my old neighborhood
A very sketchy dream. I was going on my way to my mom’s house (where I used to live). I remember I had a white dress and a white bag crossing over one shoulder. The bag was full but still I was trying to jam something else inside it, leaving it completely full, close to exploding.
I had to pass by the house of this guy for whom I had a crush many years ago and for some reason I didn’t want him to see me. When I arrived at the top of the slope where the house lies, instead of turning left as I should, I turned right in the direction of this place where I had my extra curricular activities after school. The place was now turned into a library or bookshop. I entered and a shelf of books caught my eye. Now I try hard to remember what they were about, but I only have this vague feeling it was something like esoteric and self-help themed. There was something interesting about this dream but I can’t remember what.

Exhibition of a woman’s head
I was visiting an exhibition. It was about this woman who offered her body to science to be studied and exhibited. This exhibition was all about her head. There were slices of her brain, all of the details of her head in different pieces. Her picture and even a life-sized model of her head. Also it was about her ideas. It was weird but I’ve been to even stranger exhibitions, so why not.

Undefined
Then I got blank. I tried to recall the dreams I had, but all I could write down was: 3 men prisoners on one room and some seduction scene.

3:45 GMT

Animal suffering
I am walking unknown streets on a suburban block of buildings. There are some backyards, with lots of garbage and abandoned lots. On some backyards I find lots of dogs chained, stressed and unhappy. I can hardly cuddle them, because a few are quite angry and threaten to bit me if I get to close. I see close to 20 dogs in this situation on several backyards and it gets to the absurd of people having pandas and some other cute fluffy animals I can’t recall, on chains on their backyards. I just think “That’s it, I have had it!” I am semi-lucid and not afraid to scream my lungs out. So I scream to whoever wants to listen that animals deserve better, that people will pay for being so stupid and ignorant and causing so much suffering to the animals. Then I make a wish that they all open their eyes to the truth and become compassionate and I walk the streets repeating a mantra out loud, to bring some blessings to these people.

Artist’s community
I’m on a building which is both cohousing and gallery for lots of art students. The house is amazing, with all of the walls and corridors full of paintings, sculptures and other art forms. So colourful. And the people living here are very entertaining.
I am sitting in a sofa in a living room on what must be the 3rd floor. There’s more people on the sofa and I am waiting for something, maybe that they take me somewhere else. Then a girl, who looks like a boy, starts flirting me. I realise she looks so much like this girl friend from my childhood, who liked me but bullied me and died with an overdose on her teens. It freaked me out so I decide to leave the place. But not soon enough I realise she is chasing me. I leave the building and enter a cafeteria just in front. She is still on me and sits on my table. I felt very uncomfortable but I decided not to make a big deal out of it and just had my coffee or so until the dream dissolved.

6:50 GMT

Surreal tunnel building
Some longer dream, but I only remember being digging a hole in the sand when I find a tunnel under the ground, where there is a canal with water flowing. For some exotic reason I enter the tunnel and feel the need to reinforce the walls of these canal, that are breaking up in some places. A turtle passes by me on the water. I build this wall and decorate it with all sorts of stuff that is lying around (garbage) – some gnome dolls, some treasure chest, some Christmas or whatever decoration, etc... It gets so kitsch. I then find a necklace with an image of the Buddha. I feel tempted to keep it for myself (I’m a Buddhist) but either because I had this underlying feeling that I’m actually dreaming or because I thought it was real and would be theft to take something that was not mine, I simply hanged it on a higher wall on a safe and clean place, as a way of showing my respect.

Wet and crying on a porch
Another one I can’t remember, but I was on a porch and it was raining a lot. I was crying and my tears were mixing up with the rain drops on my face. My clothes were getting wet. I just remember some reference to tigers, but no idea what the context was.

After waking up this morning, it was too early to get up to go to uni and I was feeling groggy so I went back to sleep. I fell into sleep paralysis (although my brain wasn't fully awake, it was pretty much still half-asleep) and I tried to lucid dream. Luckily it seemed to be a pretty deep sleep paralysis (previous times I would just wake up once I noticed myself breathing) and so I held onto it mentally to delve into lucidity.
I closed my eyes and imagined going through this weird place, and went through some weird tunnel thing at a factory. Just like how you close your eyes and imagine that you are somewhere. I was doing this for a while and thought that I was still just imagining it, as opposed to dreaming it.
I have a feeling that I was actually dreaming though, but I really can't be too sure. Silly me didn't do a reality check :/

Mystery Threat:
My sister was going to take some summer course and she filled out the form. I decided to join her on the second day, there was also something else that I decided to do as well that I can't recall. I'm not sure where we went or what happened after but I find myself on a planet that seems to have been ravaged by war. It was very dark, cloudy, stormy and it seems that there were a lot of buildings that have been wrecked and abandoned. I was in the street with a bunch of people that I didn't know, but, can't recall seeing them, just knowing that they were there standing behind me. We were all looking west towards a building. This building had a metal tunnel that was expanding towards another building. The tunnel was supposed to connect the two buildings together and it seems that it was the only way out of this war ravaged city. I do recall, but, can't remember when it happened, clinging to the tunnel to try to get to the first building, but, had to hide from two drones that were circling the tunnel.



Sensing the presence of others, I looked ahead to see a large group of people. They were all wearing black with black bandanas covering their mouth and only revealing their eyes. They had axes in their hands which had black handles and a silver axe hand. It seems that we knew who they were and have had confortations in the past. We launched at each other with great speed. A couple of axes were thrown my way and I dodged them hoping that they missed my companions behind me. Another was thrown which I ended up blocking with my right hand and I was able to pick up another axe which I planned to use against an oncoming enemy.

Dream skips and we are all in a warehouse which is in the shape of an inverted C. They occupied the top half and we, the bottom half. It seems that I have made a bomb to use against them, it was in the shape of a balloon with rods sticking out of it. I threw it at them. They bounced it and got it stuck near the ceiling in the middle of the warehouse. We got it down and one of our members almost backstabbed us by making some odd sign first signalling the backstabbing but she threw it anyways. She ended up joining me and a friend of mine after jumping behind a wooden sheet to hide from the explosion. They threw it back to us yet again. A friend called R, caught it and began saying the time left. We were surprised that he was still holding onto it and beckoned him to throw it back. He did and they didn't have much of a chance to throw it back at us since, it hit their hands and bounced up in the air right above them. At this point, the time ran out and it was about to explode. I looked from behind the wooden sheet to see the impact. When it exploded, I don't recall seeing an explosion, mostly just the sound and then there was an eye, similar to the eye of a hurricane.



Air started circling around this eye which was just a small circle very fast and it started to suck them up and out of the building. They vowed revenge and that someone will get me. After they were all sucked out and everything calmed down, something similar to a scoreboard showed up in my vision detailing the amount of people left using people icons. It had an orange background with people icons using different colors to stand out.

Thoughts: Very nice, long, intense dream. Would have been nice to know more details about the first fight and the background

Dream starts off with Link from the Legend of Zelda videogame series travelling to outside of a dungeon by a lakeshore with many flowers and ferns. I cannot remember what the dungeon entrance looked like or how Link got in. He is very muscular and "manly" and proceeds with confidence because he can navigate his way and defeat monsters with ease. There is a bouncy spring at the end of the first hall (which is made of blueish grey bricks), that bounces the person who jumps on it across a cavernous room to the next level, which is elevated beyound normal reach. Link jumps on the spring and starts to fly across the extremely large space but notices a floating bridge high up in the air and is able to direct himself towards it.

Link lands on the stone bridge and walks to the end of it which is blocked by a partially fallen wall. There is a space to squeeze through just big enough for Link and when he's through he is in another extemely large cavernous room, but this one is even bigger than the last and the floor is covered in a deep pool of murky water. The bridge abruptly ends not far from where Link had to squeeze through and it looks as if it has been broken off or crumbled away. Standing at the edge of the bridge and looking to the right, Link can see a tunnel that sits just above the water line and he figures that is where he has to go.

Just then an enormous sea monster jumps of the water and knocks Link off the edge of the bridge. He falls with the monster into the murky water and kind of panics because he cannot fight or defend himself while swimming and there seems to be no ledges at first upon which he can grab to get out of the water. The pool was calm and still at first but is now thrashy and wavy from the sea monsters movements, making it difficult for Link to keep his head above the water. Many of the waves slam him against the wall of the pool and he sustains damage.

The movement of the waves forces Link to the opposite end of the pool from where the exit tunnel is and for the first time he notices that there are other people in the water, also trying to stay afloat. Link sticks his head under the surface and sees the bottom of the pool, which is shallower in this end than the other and there is seaweed growing on the bottom. The other people in the water consist of several men of various ages and a young woman with short brown hair. When the water has settled down the people and Link swim over to the tunnel and pull themselves out of the water.

Link sees that the young woman is wearing a short skirt, low cut top and leather jacket and he feels attracted to her. She looks seductively at him then walks down the tunnel. Link wants to follow but can't because the old man starts talking to him saying that the people have to live in this tunnel because the sea monster has trapped them there. He doen't explain why they were in the water however.

There are bunks on the side of the tunnel and some of the younger men and Link lay down on them. When it seems that everyone else is asleep, Link gets up and walks down the tunnel. He turns a corner and finds that it comes to a dead end because the tunnel is blocked by metal grates and stuff. The young woman is there and Link goes over to her and they start making out. Some of the young men from the group come looking for them and they stop what they are doing and try to act nochalant. One of the young boys asks Link to follow him.


I cannot remember anymore of the dream.

Morning of August 17, 1975. Sunday.



In my dream, I am in the middle school building (DMS), probably implied to be in eighth grade, though I will be going to ninth grade in a different building on August 25, 1975. There is a vague lucidity, enough to use my dream to focus within in expectation of something new, curious, or interesting, in this case, finding a secret passageway as I have often utilized in both liminal dream control and lucidity.

I insert some coins into a seldom-used commercial vending machine (against the north wall in the hall, probably somewhere near the middle of the building) to get a soft drink. However, there is a different response, which I had seemingly been at least partly expecting - based on, I believe, a recent student rumor. You had to put the right combinations of coins in and press the correct product-select buttons to activate and allow entry into a secret area or apparently another world.

The soda vending machine slides over (in the manner of a sliding door) to reveal a secret passageway behind the wall. I soon find myself climbing horizontally on a giant rose plant that winds horizontally through a long large metallic tunnel. This becomes sort of frustrating and boring over time, but I do not seem to be in that much danger (probably because of the usual liminal dream state awareness). Near the end of my dream, I look far down and see the lost city (from “Land of the Lost”, the original television series) but I only see Enik standing around, though he does not notice me. I do not see much potential in exploring a city of Sleestaks at this point and I am unsure how to get down to the area anyway. It is now as if I am looking at the area from a very high cliff.

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Vestibular system correlation (what the majority of my dreams have at one point or another since earliest memory) kicked in fairly quickly, though without fully waking me or even more dominant waking autosymbolism, though there were vague partial awakenings while I was climbing the horizontally-oriented vine, horizontal of course, because of my liminal awareness of how my body was oriented in sleep.

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