30th June 2021 Woken up by postman. Some in-line notes. Fragment: (going from end to start, kind of) I am with mom, she's taking me on a ride, on some kind of bicycle but it's really long, like ten yards long or something. She's asking me what I think of an alien race on a film that (in the dream) I had apparently watched. I am not too interested in the topic and feel that she is being oddly too insistent about it. (wake up at about this point) The whole time, I don't have a good hold of the bike thing and am concerned I might fall off but I persist in trying to stay on. (realistically I could have walked just as fast or faster) The rear end I'm at comes off from the seat area in the front, it looks a bit like one of those streamline cars' side skirts, sort of half-sectioned or something, difficult to explain. I'm holding on to it in a hunched and semi-crouched position. I have my regular clothes on as far as I can tell, wearing my normal boots. My boots make it feel very difficult to keep my feet inside the gap in the panelling. I have passing thoughts about how mom is being able to pedal this thing with me on it too and where I'm at a leverage point that should make climbing this bit quite difficult. We're climbing up on the small hill that leads to the newer roundabout, which used to be the P exit. We're on the cobbled pavement. A bit earlier, me, T and mom are walking in A, at the roundabout before the other we eventually ride up to. It's morning, sort of sunny but not. The surroundings seem different to how they should be in waking life but I'm not certain in what way. We get to a car and T unlocks it. He gets in and starts the car, it's some old car, maybe like a Mini or an older VW or something. We say something and then me and mom walk across to a pavement on the right, where those small houses should be. Soon I become aware of the car's engine being turned back off again, though I don't look. I think something to myself about it, but can't recall what. At this point I'm talking to mom about teachers and smoking. (probably intrusions from recent thoughts on both as concepts) She says you can't really get away from it (smoking) completely in that environment. We talk about teachers' pay and how it varies a lot and isn't quite adequate. Then when we are across and have walked along for a bit, that's where the weird bike thing is and when we get on it. Scraps: Some earlier dream sequence but recall slipped too much. Something like a game with T. We have guns and are expecting a massive encounter against NPCs or something inside a large building, but then nothing happens. There are flood lights and there's a cold ambience, despite the lights seeming warm in terms of glare. Some teens appeared and I think we hid or something, waiting to hear what they might say. Notes: - In bed, and before bed, I thought about lucid dreaming for a while and thought about wanting to do something with art or drawing while lucid. -- Also had thoughts based on the Dreamgates book reading, about how I have never felt completely comfortable with any name (even ones I've made for myself) and so I wondered what kind of names dream characters might give me. - Last night I started feeling really dizzy and just "slow" after midnight, not sure why. Wasn't able to do anything other than lie down and read a small bit. - Mom's appearance in this dream is no doubt related to her recent episode. On some level, any family appearance really ought to be enough for me to question reality, but it never is. She was half normal, half not, as hinted by the feeling I got off odd insistence, a behaviour I've only seen a bit of but am familiar with.
June 27th 2021: Dream: I am on a passenger plane (but it's really a sailing ship with wings. As it happens and exceptionally, my seat is on the outside. Specifically, on the wing. I am terrified. And I need to pee. There is a pee container on a shelf on the deck and I ask to use it but a group of teenager girls are in the way, chattering and drinking water there. They are unresponsive to me. I think they're being inconsiderate so I lash out at them. I realize I must seem very rude. They simply mock me. I try to explain "You're being so selfish! I am going to be sitting on the wing! I am terrified and so I have no patience! Give me a break, please" but they have no sympathy for me. They have judged me in a way that I believe is valid for them given I was rude to start with. In a bad mood, I make my way to the wing and lie down on the special apparatus on the wing that passes for a seat. The plane gets off the ground and the speed and wind are overwhelming. I start slipping. After a while, I get used to it but I fly off the plane and see the plane just crash in the distant mountains. Oops. Reflection: Waking from this dream, I'm thinking how cool it was riding a plane's wing but then, I decide I should take the conflict with the teenage girls seriously. What was the real issue of that conflict? I decide that the meaningful problem was my fear of judgement (of negative and incorrect judgement) and my sense that other people cannot understand my side of things: in my dream, the girls saw me as a rude loser, and not as someone who was nervous to sit on the wing of a plane for a whole flight! But really, it was me, who expected them to have this other perspective, and be devoid of empathy. I think it comes from my hypersensitivity to think of "how will this appear to other people." Even if I do something good, I'm worried it will be perceived bad out of context. This happens, subtly, in my daily life. For example, recently, I cleaned off a touch screen to get coffee at work before the coffee was done pouring. So when some ladies came and I left with my coffee, I heard one of them say to the other "clean the touch screen!" and I cringed thinking they might think I'm rude and didn't disinfect the screen after touching it. They just couldn't know that I had already done it. That made me feel bad. But it's life. I decided to implement a new mantra and mudra to respond to these situations. Mantra: "Reach me halfway" (in my mind) Mudra: *holding out my hand* (in my mind) The idea is that, I do take a moment to consider other people's perspectives and give space for the benefit of the doubt and I will continue to do that for others. But I deserve others do the same for me. So, when I focus on seeing my actions from another person's perspective, I will say "reach me halfway" holding out my hand, inviting the other person to do the same for me and see things from my perspective. June 29th 2021 (two days later): I am shopping with a friend. My friend is sitting on a bench by the changing stall. A woman enters the stall, and my friend starts talking about her. I am shocked he would talk about her right there and then because she can for sure hear what he says. Ashamed, I stop him, and move further away in the store. He can tell me after when his words won't hurt that person. But turns out, the other shoppers have witnessed the event and are now accusing my friend of greater and greater transgressions. Someone says I am not guilty because I stopped him and left as soon as he began talking. But another person claims I was also gossiping about the woman earlier. People are outraged. I am willing to repair damages by paying for the woman's items. An outraged lady wants to make sure I keep my word and drags me to the pay counter. I am insulted by her behaviour and entitlement. This is too much. I say if it's like this, I won't pay for anything. I try to find my friend again but now the cops have arrested him and are dragging him out of the store away from the agitated crowd. I follow and plea with the police. They say my friend is going to jail for his abuse. I say it's all exaggerated. I demand to be a witness and fill out a report. The responsive police officer is being dismissive but as we approach the police office, I succeed in convincing him to accept my witness report. It seems like my side of things will be considered. I hold out my hand as my friend is carried into the building and cry because I'm sad he has to experience being in jail and not know what will happen next. But, there's a sense that things will end well. Reflection: This dream also seemed to have a similar theme as the previous dream. It progressed from a harmless comment on a passerby, feeling shame because I reached out to that passerby's perspective and knew it would be hurtful to her, and the shame growing into an indignant mob and dream police. But in the end, I was better able to demand that the other reach out to my perspective, than in the dream from two days ago. And it's funny that I did hold out my hand at the end of the dream, even it if wasn't exactly for the same reason. Overall, I expect to still see this pattern frequently in future dreams, but hopefully, with time, using my mantra and mudra in active daydreaming, I will gain greater power in my future dreams to have my dream characters see things from my perspective and gain forgiveness, the benefit of the doubt and better communication.
Some in-line notes in brackets. 27th June 2021 Scraps: Unrecorded. Something about being underwater and there's a giant ghostly crab and an equal sized ghostly shark or something. There are underwater buildings, regular city buildings, but inside they are mostly empty? After this dream, I remember thinking about how "being in water, is to fly" or something of the sort making a comparison of the two states. (I have no special interest in dream flight that doesn't use some kind of device or body part to accomplish it, though I do like swimming quite a lot.) (This dream had a general nature of conflict or dispute and seemed to take place in an original location) 28th June 2021 (recall not written down on waking but later on this day) Fragment: At home. A courier is putting something through the letterbox. I approach and he's actually putting his hand through the letterbox now and trying to pull the triangular package back towards him through the opening. (The package was bigger than the opening but it looked stiff, not bendable) The letterbox is lower down than it should be and the door seems to be see-through actually. As I come to open the door, first opening the foyer door I think, I find that the front door is simply not there anymore. I or the courier grab the package and I ask if he has to take it back because of it being batteries or something. (possibly intrusion from looking at batteries online, the night before?) He gives me some explanation accordingly but then decides to leave it with me after all. Fragment: There was more before this but no recall. Arriving at a sea-side area, possibly by car. I'm with someone, H? There's a sandy beach where I expected loads of people would be and when I see it's mostly empty, the other person tells me "see, I told you so" or something. The beach is between a six or so story tall fortification on the left, typical sea-side fort look to it, at least for the style I'm used to. On the right, the road slopes up at slow incline and there's some other building on the side of the beach. I end up going into that building? No recall of the inside anymore. Something about two muscular women (like Klingons but not?) and I don't get along with them for some reason. I leave this building by a door on the beach level, like a back or access door. The beach isn't quite there anymore, like there's more water now. It's sunny through the entire dream segment. (Shadow positioning suggests that the sea is West, the fort South, the second building North and the road I came from (but never looked toward) is East)
Jamie A dream She had slept with a couple of guys... Honestly, dream or not don't care to know... Building I was going into a very large futuristic apartment building. It had a really crazy system to get into the building. The elevators were like those large cups in amusement rides. You get in and it goes WAAAY up to get into a specific apartment building. I was with Roland From The Dark Tower and maybe Jake. We had just escaped a shootout in an alleyway with a spook that looked like Al Pacino in one of those Gangster movies... Balazar maybe?
Last night I had a dream about lucid dreaming, which is what I call a "fake lucid", then later in the dream I wake up from this lucid (my dream self acted like it was a real lucid) then logged it here in my dream journal on DV.
25th June 2021 Unknown fragment at 8:30 but went back to sleep with dreaming intent around lucidity. Fragment (10:00): In a long rectangular building, it's like BL. There are lots of players here, including J and others I don't recognise. I feel he is ignoring me. Nearby someone is doing their "jackhammer" mining and someone in here is commenting on how it's a good thing there's no combat log to get spammed. J comments in a light-hearted way that AH's mining would have been worse. I see a fake-gold plaque mentioning her and some others? (recall gap) We're on a highway or something. At first in vehicles, I think? Then on foot or mounts, as we come off at a junction that leads into wilderness and dirt paths. It is evening/dusk, I think, just before sunset. The landscape feels like the Southern regions of my native country. We keep going along this path until I realise it's the wrong way and that we should have already turned off to the left for the castle we are supposed to get to. I'm a paladin and remember seeing myself in third-person on my mount for a while. I am the only paladin in the group. I use crusader aura and look at the minimap to help the people at the rear of the group so they benefit from it. One person in our group is Hillary Clinton? I think we address her as madam president. The castle reminds me now of Karazhan but it didn't during the dream. We go through several rooms. They are dark and seem to follow a normal house layout. Something about ghosts. Trying to help them by filling a sink with bleach, cleaning it while wearing some gloves; detritus is keeping the ghosts trapped here somehow. But this doesn't work and the ghosts complain of suffocating. I ask someone to open a window (double glazed, swings out on the top half from the middle) and we move on I think. Crossing some rooms sometimes leads into a loading screen of some sort. (Recall faded too much and detail was lost.) Earlier, or later, kind of with the same group, I'm looking through some old stashes of food. Mostly tinned or jarred stuff, but maybe some fresh things too. Under a man-made waterfall spout, in some kind of old metal receptacle (oxidised bronze?), there's jam in a jar and something like yogurts in plastic pots. Someone tells me not to bother taking anything, that it's all ancient. But I see on the jam there's a marking on the top indicating it has an expiry date of "28/2" or something which I infer to mean 2028 and so I take it. Notes: - There was a feel of Scholomance to the inner depths of the castle. -- The dark ambience was generally blue-ish. - The dried up man-made waterfall area was cliffy but was sort of in-doors, I feel. The rocks were mostly tones of grey, possibly with moss or lichen. - Not sure what brought about Hillary Clinton as a dream character. I am reminded while writing this that I was recently thinking about MoonageDaydream's name but unable to remember it at that time, realising that maybe it's Hillary, at least I seem to remember reading that in one of her dreams before. -- I haven't really been trying to think about any DV members specifically of late, but I do still check DV often especially before bed.
Dream 1: I was running either away from or with patrick star across a city Dream 2: me and a dream character who I befriended were making plans to escape across a city from the government in a giant paper airplane Dream 3: The grocery store I worked at fell under new management and she was evil and made everyone wear gray uniforms, but I managed to convince hear to make them wear pink uniforms with purple pants and shoes instead. Dream 4: I was talking to Jonochrome, creator of riddle school, about Jonochrome without realizing he was the one I was talking to. Meanwhile, he was streaming live footage of him walking across an ancient chinese landmark that was the longest math equation in history that spanned across an entire canyon. Dream 4, part 2: I attempt to walk across the aforementioned math equation but it was made of reciept paper so I fell and nearly killed myself. Dream 5: I was looking out the bathroom door of my trailer because an elderly couple drove their minivan into a giant hole filled with foamy water. They blamed me on it, and my mom's boyfriend came out to reason with them. Afterwards, I taught them how to tap a musical composition on the side of the trailer with their hands and distracted them with how cool they thought it was. Dream 6: I was in my trailer park trying to get a picture of the sunset over the unusually cyberpunk looking scenery. I was specifically trying to take a picture of a point in the sunset in which the center of the sun is black and fractal like repetitions made the sun rays, and it seemed to rewind just to allow me to take the right picture. I showed my sister the photo and she thought it was pretty cool. Dream 7: I was walking around in the shopping center by the place I was born with my non-existent, heavily intoxicated transmasculine femboy friend. He was wearing a pink skirt with a layer of green showing just under the top layer, with a similar looking crop-top. I went into the pet store and saw my ex boyfriend signing papers at a desk by the checkout area. I tried introducing him to my friend but it went bad because my friend could barely stand, let alone talk to people.
Dream From Dec 26 '14: the location is a parking lot, like a ground level carpark, with multiple spaces. or, its a set of rear to kerb parking spaces in a main street somewhere; possibly like that of Warners Bay, on the east side of the esplanade, facing Lake Macquarie. its where the shops are. my back is to the screen, and im looking south. the cars are parked a few metres from me. they are parked at 45 degree angles, rear to kerb. i see the front left of a white car, parked between a van and another vehicle. the white vehicle, is a two, or four door. Jula's daughter, Angel, is standing, then crouching, at the drivers door of the white sedan. her face is clear to me, but not close, though i know its her. the driver door is open, or is opened so she can talk to the driver. angel wants to know about a horse. she may ask about the horse, or a horse, up to two times. i don't hear her ask the question, but i know she is asking about a horse. the driver doesn't answer, nor does anyone else. i envisage the horse as being in a paddock, and not as a race horse; it maybe a retired race horse. the horse is grey, or white. so, since she doesn't get an answer to her question, i want to help her. i don't approach her, but stay where i am. i want to approach, or i would have to, to ask her my question, because i don't want to shout from where i am. im about to take a step to approach her when the dream suddenly ends. im still in dream mode, but awake when i ask her my question. so, i whisper the question, which is "what do you want to know?" any comments or questions ?
Updated 06-26-2021 at 05:25 AM by 98466
Ghost leviathan sighting Fragment. I see a ghost leviathan, maybe I am floating on the surface of the void in Subnautica. If any image of this thing wasn't so terrifying for me I would've had a great dream sign. Oof.
Updated 06-26-2021 at 12:22 AM by 96397 (Fixed date)
comment dream lucid I woke up half an hour before my usual wake-up time and assumed I wouldn't fall back asleep, but after a while, I did and had a long, very shifting dream. Fragments (not sure about the order and transitions between them): - I'm packing my things for some big trip with my mom and my brother, packing a big suitcase. I'm almost ready, but they're not, and I'm rushing them because we have no chance to catch the plane. But they ignore me for the most part and I'm nervous and stressed. - There's a magician, a dangerous man, but he trusts me, probably because I'm willing to work with him and not ask questions. I go out of the building to dump something in the trash for him, probably magical waste. It looks like a pear in a plastic bag, plus some kind of box, but I know better than to check what's in it. - I'm out with my brother, we're going somewhere. Then we sit on a bench and I empty the mess out of my shoe and show the shoe to him. He says he doesn't want running shoes. I show him how it has a soft sole and offer him the shoe to try on. Then the magician is there instead, and there's a railing behind us and stairs deep down. Somehow my shoe falls down - either he throws it there or somehow accidentally causes it to fall. I look him in the eye and tell him he should bring it back. He looks at me, surprised that I have the audacity to say that to him, but without a word he gets up and walks down the stairs. I follow a few steps behind him. Leading to the lucid part I am traveling in a group on horseback, including family members, the plan is to travel on horseback through several countries and then by train, this is a replacement for the original plan. Then we walk through pastures and someone tells us there is a dangerous cow, but now there is just an older, very playful, calf and sheep playing together. We walk along a field track, there are fenced pastures all around, and there is a rhino in one. It's very dangerous. I wonder if they have something like a mini zoo and why they have a rhino if it's so dangerous. I get to the garden where there are some roses, new varieties that I've been talking to someone about online, and also a small-flowered clematis. There are more beds and I want to see more, but I'm disappointed, there's not much else, just weird vertical structures for vertical growing and some shade-loving plants. There's a woman I know from a gardening forum and she says it's not finished yet. Then I'm with some people, half in, half out, as if the garden has turned into a spacious interior. People are supposed to go through some doors, but they don't really want to, probably afraid of the rhino that's still out there somewhere. I walk through the door and someone asks me if I'm the last one through, and I say no. I get a yellow and black frilly dress and am told it comes with trousers. There is a group of girls around, each in different dresses, but all in black and yellow. I put the dress on and someone helps me pull it over my head, and someone else hands me the black trousers. Something weird is being done in the group, maybe magical. The woman near me - I recognize her as my former classmate, H. - is having a nervous breakdown. She asks, "How can this be happening?" She's hysterical and clutching her head. "Am I dreaming?" I chuckle and say, "I am, and so are you." I kiss her passionately on the mouth and tell her, "Go and enjoy it." Like I'm sending her out to enjoy her lucid dream. I say this semi-lucidly, not having the slightest intention of detaching myself from the dream. But as she disappears outside, I feel some responsibility for her and I follow her. I walk out the door and I'm in a large square. Directly in front of me are steps down to the main area of the square, and then to the right are more gradual steps up, probably along the town walls. H. is already a little ahead of me, he is now with someone, they have started to levitate and have flown across the gap between the steps and are now flying faster, up over the steps, and disappearing in the distance. I call out, "H., wait!" and I envy her such skill in the first LD and I know I won't catch up to her. I put my hand forward and begin to concentrate on catching her and her companion in an imaginary loop, then pull them back by the force of will. She stands in front of me, a little confused, but she understands that my abilities are greater than hers. I think to myself that I made a point, but that maybe it wasn't necessary, and let her go. I tell myself that since I'm so good at telekinesis, I might as well do what she did - try using telekinesis to fly - use it on myself. I'll give it a try and try to levitate down the stairs.I float a little, but at the same time, I am inevitably falling until I'm back on the ground, a few steps down. I try again and this time I try to focus on myself/catch myself into the imaginary loop and add the impello spell word, but it doesn't help, the same result as before. Like I can't use telekinesis on myself. I wake up after this. Notes: - Another semi-lucid into lucid type of dream. Sometimes I think I am sort of natural in semi-lucid dreaming, my dream me almost always knows it is a dream to some extent but it's hard to tell unless the dream plot makes it obvious. The breakthrough from semi-lucidity to full lucidity is still hard for me, though. And sometimes, it isn't a breakthrough at all, like it is all a spectrum.
Updated 06-24-2021 at 11:18 PM by 98406
24th June 2021 Some in-line notes, some side notes. Dream (fragmented): Playing as a level seventy human warrior, protection spec by the looks of the gear. I'm in some kind of life-like place with rooms, but on a flying mount and mining ores. There are Legion enemies around as well as general Legion stuff. I think about how something looks wrong, not as how I remember it (according to a dreaming false memory). (recall gap) I'm flying around Helfire doing ore mining, mostly getting Fel Iron but some Khorium and other novel gem ores, coloured after the type of gem they're supposed to be. Oddly, I can't mine Adamantite at all. I manage to avoid fights with horde players by flying to ore locations in a random pattern, helped by having the fastest mount, some kind of gladiator's nether drake by the looks of it, not too different from whatever I was using before. I go to parts of Helfire that don't actually exist. One such place is a floating rock isle, high above and to the south east of the peninsula. There are some unremarkable chests here, they give me a few silver coins, something like twenty to fourty as well as random crappy items. They feel worth getting since nobody else is after them and this area seems to have little interest. Some people, ghosts, come out of some ruins on the south part of the island, some two/three hundred yards away. I forget who the ghosts are or what they say, but it's a mom and a dad and their pre-teen daughter. Despite a life-like quality to them, they still seem game-like. Then I fly away to the north from here, to an area that's east or north east of the peninsula; it's more at the same height level as the general landscape and not quite so fragmented as the other island. It's the leftovers of some kind of world tree thing that some night elves tried making. There are some NPCs here that provide alternate introductory quests for people entering Outland. (recall gap) I see from my friend's list that HW is on his priest. He's only sixty and this seems normal to me. I remember physically being in a place like a regular room with him. I suggest that he could go level up. It seems he's annoyed, he was trying to do tower captures in EPL but I can't figure out why and I don't ask. This room has windows and light comes in from outside, but it feels dark and dingy even so. There's an off-orange tint? There's some kind of IKEA shelf thing. There's hi-fi on top of it. I adjust the top unit because I'm concerned about it dropping off, it's just barely bigger than the shelf's surface area. In the dream this hi-fi belongs to HW but also seems to be his PC or something. (recall gap) Later on I'm on some kind of desert island. It's sunny and grassy and wild, a little bit of rolling hills. I have an inventory with some food but need to get wood break some rocks to make better tools with. Vague recall of beating on a rock with some tiny drum sticks, amused by the rhythmic noise. (Not realising that I couldn't have performed this action in waking life since I have no experience of it) This is after some bit where I had been on the island and I'd finished my "run" of it. This bit now was like a new game or a reset. (recall gap) A different sequence about space ships and docking into a large and complex vertical structure (in space?) with hundreds of individual hangars for sort of fighter-sized ships. The hangars have blue energy fields at the entrances. Inside there look to be full amenities (not unlike a Freelancer equipment shop?). I think to myself it's amazing I get assigned to dock on landing pad one, when there are literal hundreds of them. I am here with someone else, maybe HW, but whoever it was didn't want me near them. I find this annoying, since the dock assignment was automatic, as was the docking procedure, so I couldn't override to get closer to them (and help them feel better?). Notes: - There are some less common dream elements to this dream, for one thing it was fairly consistent about Helfire's look and layout. On the other hand, the room I met HW in seemed like it could actually be his flat room, though the IKEA shelf and the hi-fi stuff seemed like ours; associative link between IKEA and HW, since both are from Sweden? - The bit in space was a mix-mash of most of the space themes that have made impressions on me, like Homeworld, Freelancer, Elite Dangerous and a few others. The "vertical" bit may have been brought about by what I heard in the audio documentary of the fourth Alien film, which at the time had made me think about the Hiigaran mothership. -- It's a shame I haven't really had any dreams that I can recall that are more directly around Alien themes and WY. - Perhaps the reason I couldn't mine Adamantite (red skill level) was because I generally think of Adamantium-related materials to be very top end, although in the game Khorium would be the top end material. - The irony of me being 70 and HW being 60 on his character is that this is a role reversal, where I'm trying to include him by saying it would be a good idea for him to level up. - HW seemed moody, annoyed or upset, in the dream. I think I couldn't understand why and wanted him to feel better.
I was either looking for or already living in a new house. At one point, things looked 2-dimensional, as if I was playing a simple browser-based game (Think graphics like diep.io or world's hardest game- simple geometric lines and shapes, with a white/greyish background and black lines representing floors and walls). I didn't notice at first, but it was really tall- I was going up the stories and they were getting progressively more unstable (this seems to be a theme in my more recent dreams) to the point that I felt unsafe. There were 6 floors in total; for some reason I was accessing them from the outside via some sort of ladder? And the openings to the different floors were very short, so I would have had to slide in on my back. Obviously, I was afraid of falling six stories (but nothing occurred to me that it was out of the ordinary to be living in a six-story, rectangular house). Then, at one point, the setting shifted very temporarily to an RV/trailer, where I had people all around me helping me get ready for something. I realized I was a celebrity- I looked totally different, and for some reason the name Anne Hathaway was really strong in that, so I'll just assume I was her. I was a lot prettier, probably 10 years older, and I carried myself with much more confidence than I would IWL. The vibe was nice but not too formal, and I had my hair tied back. Right by the trailer, I went into a big mansion and sat on a luxurious couch, and decided to take a selfie with a few other people who were there. I did a lighthearted duck face and some sort of pose. I was working on a project- apparently, a talk show. The lighting was all natural light with sun shining from large windows behind the couch, though, and whether or not there was an audience there was pretty ambiguous; but I think I remember cameras. At one point, my manager(s)/agent were telling me I needed a new, sharper look. I looked at myself in the mirror; I had similar hair to IWL (About shoulder length with bangs) but my hair was sleeker with no layers- more of a bob than the shaggy style I actually have. I envisioned different ways I could change it, including a short A-line cut but quickly realized that it was a Karen cut and I didn't want that. I don't remember much after that.
Strong magic dream I seem to be a girl with strong magical powers. There is someplace where I am at some sort of grave, deep in the forest, reaching to grab something. At some point, somebody wants to research on my powers. I demonstrate with a copper coin and telekinetically fling it through the room and back, and then a very bright cloud of golden fumes fills the room, and it appears that my thoughts manifest, anything I want to move moves and anything I would want to disintegrate would just disintegrate.
comment lucid dream The postman woke me up. Back in bed, I remembered that I wanted to try lucid dreaming subliminal music. After a while, I was quite uncomfortable being on my back, so I found a position on my side that was compatible with headphones. But it still didn't suit me - I'd probably fall asleep, but it bothered me how my entire headspace was taken up by the music, even though I had it on minimum volume. I checked the time - half an hour had passed. I tried to fall asleep normally - changed position a few times. There were some visualizations - I imagined moving along a path and subconscious added the scenery around. It was quite nice, the landscapes were detailed, but it wasn't immersive and it wasn't going anywhere. I was on my left side and very close to falling asleep and felt very light vibrations. I remembered that I wanted to be more aggressive during WILD and get up right after the vibrations. So, without a single thought of my real body, I tried to get up and sit on the edge of the bed. And it worked. It had a real feel, but it was surprisingly easy, no duvet putting up resistance or anything like that. I did a nose-plug RC and could breathe. But at the same time it was unstable and I couldn't see anything. As I continued to get up, my head got dizzy, and when I tried to open my eyes, I saw my bedroom for a moment, the "dream filter" was on but it was confusing, and it felt like I was opening my real eyes out of the corner of my eye (probably an illusion), so I closed them again. And everything was shaky. I grabbed the curtain and used it for support and to stabilize - it was very fine, almost silky, not like IRL. I'm standing upright now, but still with my eyes closed. I walk carefully around the bed - I don't want to kill myself on the pile of clothes lying there. But in the dream, there's hardly anything there. Things are more stable, so I want to open my eyes, but I realize I'm starting to see, and instead of opening my eyes I blink and everything starts to become clearer. It's still confusing though and doesn't feel much like a dream. I leave the bedroom, hoping it will give me more stability and mental clarity. I go to the cat room. The furniture there is similar to real life, but it's tidier, and my cat is sleeping on the couch at the end of the room. She looks normal. When she sees me, she starts to stretch. I decide not to go any closer because I'm worried I might step on the real cat IRL (forgetting that my real body is in bed). As I leave, I hear a grunting sound, like something is bothering her, but it's a dream and I decide to ignore it and close the door. I'm going to the living room. It looks like it should - I guess - I don't look around too much and stay by the door. I still find it hard to believe that it's a dream, everything is so realistic as if I'm really there and I think how it doesn't compare at all with the visualizations. I do a nose-plug RC and take three breaths just to be sure, and I can breathe without a problem. I feel really weird because I haven't needed in-dream RC in months, but the dream feeling is so subtle that I can't wrap my head around that. I decide to try Tiktaalik's "focusing on the spine" RC. Spoiler for Result - don't read if you want to try it too: Nothing happens. I don't know what to expect, but everything seems normal (within the limits of my dream body - but with my level of lucidity I probably wouldn't notice any subtle dream body - real body difference). For some reason, I realize I'm naked, but I don't think it's RC related. I decide to go outside. I'm still aware that I'm naked, but it's a dream, so what. When I go outside, it's a strange feeling, being naked outside, but I don't see any neighbours. The street looks roughly like my street, but I don't examine the details. I want to try flying like an airplane (as I've imagined and incubated). I run down the street and call out in turn "Airspeed alive", "V1", "and rotate" and jump into the air with my arms spread wide. It doesn't work, I don't climb, I fall flat on the pavement, but I don't feel anything. I decide to try again, but this time I swap the lines, start with V1, but then correct myself and say them in the correct order and jump into the air again. I'm on a street corner somewhere and there are 3 guys, they look British and have Peaky Blinders haircuts. As I'm trying to take off, I jump on one of their backs (still naked). He doesn't look unhappy. I say "hey, handsome". He gets me off his back and takes me in his arms. He opens a door that apparently leads to a pub and puts me on a table. I'm not sure if he wants to hand me over to their care/get rid of me, or if he wants to share me. I start to feel myself waking up. Notes: - I am fairly confident this was a WILD, even though I was just barely aware when I felt the vibrations. I don't think I dreamt that, although it's hard to be 100% sure. Anyway, the continuity of going from being in the bed, trying to sleep, and then standing in my bedroom, lucid dreaming, was a total mindfuck. - I want to give that "flying like a plane" another try someday, maybe really focusing on the sensation of taking off and imagining it, rather than just saying the words. I have enough real-life flying experience to make it work. - I don't know why I steered it towards possibly sexual content, even though it wakes me up.
Saying goodbye to my friend 23/06/20 -Vivid - Semi lucid Im with my old best friend from my teen years and we walk up my current street and to my house as if we’ve been out for a while like old times and the evening is just coming to an end. As we always did we start talking outside my house and not wanting to say goodbye because we’re having such a good chat. I then look up at my daughters window and see my wife is there putting her to bed. I know we can’t talk much longer or we’ll wake her up. We talk a bit longer though and I bring up Lucid dreaming. I can’t remember what we say but I discover my friend is also into it. After a bit I grow somewhat suspicious of something but I’m not sure what? It’s then he says something to me like “You need to think about it and next time ask me the right question”. I look at him confused and feel like he knows something I don’t and is trying to give me a clue. “Wait, is this a dream?” I say and feel amused because we were just talking about it. It feels so real though, I know it’s real but I decide to check anyway. “Do you ever do reality checks?” I ask him and ready my hands but he doesn’t reply. I begin my new routine of hand reality checks and first notice my wedding ring is gone which is odd. ‘Oh I must have taken it off’ I decide. I then open and close my hand. Nothing happens. I count my fingers, there are 5. I count again, I count 6? Thinking I must have miscounted I count again. I count 6 again. I try again and be more careful and this time there is 5, so that’s all clear. I then flip my hand up and down multiple times but there is no change. I then put my hand down and bring it back up again and as I open it I can’t open all my fingers all the way as if they’re broken. “That’s what would usually happen in a dream!” I chuckle thinking it’s a funny coincidence. I then do the finger palm but it doesn’t go through. Analysis: A very vivid dream, it’s quite vague now when I recall it but at the time it felt so real and I woke up in disbelief that it hadn’t actually happened. It was just like I was in the street with my friend chatting like old times. I miss it and was nice to experience it again. Then there was the reality check. It was weird, I realised something was off but it wasn’t till my friend said that odd sentence that I thought wait a minute? I still wasn’t convinced though as it all felt so genuine. I recalled my new 5 hand reality check practice perfectly but it didn’t work. Even though some of the checks showed evidence I was dreaming I didn’t take any notice of it and carried on as if it was totally normal? I’m really not sure why I couldn’t convince myself? Maybe I don’t expect them to work in waking life so I don’t in dreams either?
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