memorable

I drempt of a cyberpunk detective thriller in the style of a movie/videogame hybrid in which the main protagonist (Vague recolection of the name gus) got cursed with an odd form of lycanthropy in which he turned into a female anthropomorphic wolf.

The scenes in which he was such tended to have happy lyrisised pop music playing over the top, and the scenes were mostly done in a animated, cartoonish style in which the main protagonist relaxed and almost lead a double life, watering plants and the like.
The rest of the time, he acted as a stereotypical gruff detective, with his female teammate with short black hair and glasses mocking him for being too "assertive".

One last character I would like to mention is Mrs. Robinson, who acted as a frenemy that talked through a CGI face that was uncanney vally incarnate, it looked like a ventriloquist dummy had been given polygonal flesh instead of wood.
She was very demanding to the team, and seemed to want to insist that they don't uncover the case.

There was also a prominence of face masks as everyday items too.

I dreamt that after a heavy rain, a lot of water was flowing down the hill, among the streets.
I didnt pay much mind to it, I went to the shop. Then encountered a big fckoff COBRA, but it wasnt any kind of cobra , it was FLYING all over the place. Its morphology was unique:Its lower half was of a light colour , cant tell which, the top, was vibrant red, with the hood stretching all over it's body, acting as a wing to catch wing, while doing this swirly motion mid air , supposedly to maneuver itself. I got really scared, it somehow flew up and charged me , I fell on the ground and covered my face, but nothing happened, it just went away. I ran home like mad while seeing a bunch of these things flying around, told mom, closed windows ,door , I was panicking like mad, then started to see reptillians even, flooding the street , and maybe even lions?
Someone told me that this event will die off once all the water flows down from the mountains... Nobody was worrying that much about it..but I was furious

My sleep schedule has been totally out of wack lately. It’s beginning to show in my dreams.

In my first dream (out of five!), my roommate was moving out and packing up his things (never mind that I don’t have a male roommate IRL). I was in my room, but he called me out, asking if I wanted his XBox since he didn’t want to bring it with him. Interested, I left my room, and immediately when I opened the door, I saw him standing half-naked (from the waist down! ). I quickly covered my eyes and apologized.

Next, I was naked in the lobby of my school where I work. (What’s with all the naked dreams?) I had a towel to cover myself with, but it was long and thin, and I couldn’t wrap it around myself like a normal towel. I was afraid I would be stuck at school because I couldn’t cover myself decently enough to go out. Somehow, it didn’t occur to me that being naked at school is arguably worse than walking through the streets naked.

Then I dreamt that I was in the bathroom of my apartment. Water started dripping from the ceiling, and soon it was pouring like rain. I left the bathroom, but it was the same in the hall. I entered my bedroom, which was dark. It wasn’t “raining” in there, but I was suffocating on the water I’d breathed in already and was afraid I was going to die. I’m glad real life doesn’t follow dream logic—otherwise, going out in the rain would be deadly!

I woke up after that and checked the time. I was frustrated to see I’d only slept a half hour and feared the rest of the night would be filled with dreams like these. Thankfully, my brain quit with the nightmares and switched to weird surrealism instead.

In my longest and most memorable dream of the night, I was in a bus terminal waiting for a bus with a group of people. There was a screen displaying the bus info, and ours was at the top. We were waiting for the number 7 bus, though the screen was missing the number and only displayed the destination, followed by my name. Then, the info changed. Below it was the number 5 bus, which we now had to take when it arrived.

The person in charge of our group said that they only speak Spanish on the number 5 bus, and that after that bus we would have to take after that belonged to Podemos (Spain’s far-left political party), so we should just go by car. I asked if there was enough room in the car for all of us, and he said yes.

We all got into a van together. I was the last one in and didn’t see anywhere to sit, but then I climbed into the back, where there was an empty seat. There was hardly any room for me when I sat down (despite the seat having been empty), but then the driver (I think it was the driver) told me I could move the stuffed animals… turns out there was a whole pile of them hogging the seat. Then he told me I should marry the girl sitting next to me (who was wearing a wedding dress) because we’d make a good couple if she wasn’t engaged (to the girl sitting to her other side).

We drove to an “alien abduction store”, which had nothing to do with aliens whatsoever. Outside, there was a large board showing what the store sold, kind of like a drive-thru menu. We slowed down as we passed the sign, and looked at what was for sale. I don’t remember everything, but there were some magnets with weird memes on them. I've recreated the one I remember:

I have no idea where the asterisks are all coming from below. RC.

early:
+ company parking lot [DS], thinking about parking. There is a path up and to the right.
Later (different dream?) I'm standing at the top of a steep set of stairs, looking down into the parking area below. I realize I'm standing on the other side of the area where I was earlier (from my car) looking at and up the hill. I'm very careful selecting my footing as I begin to descend the stairway.

+ at work, with JoWei [company 3, B and N colleague], we're going to have lunch. At the counter, there is a choice between different colored aspics. The "chef" brings out different trays containing these aspics, colored brightly: purple, red, blue. They do not look very appetizing.

+ with [deceased] wife, we're walking in a mall (?) outside in the parking area, she says how, since I'm not around any more and don't visit her, she has had to ask BrZim (old lawyer friend who loved her) to come visit her. This makes me really sad. I think I should not be close to her or try to caress or kiss her since this would be inappropriate since we're not together any more [This led to dozing/waking? thoughts of sadness about our sometimes troubled relationship, and how I should have perhaps done more to be better]

late:
+ (ultra-vivid/present, nearly lucid)
It may have started within an office setting, I'm not sure of that.* *
But where it really picked up, was: I'm sitting on a bench in a courtyard outside.* Bright sunshine, balmy California day.* * This area is the yard for a company where I do not work and where I do not know the people, yet I'm still hanging out with them.* *Across from me in a shady circle clearing two people (gender unclear) are playing pickup-jacks.* I watch the little ball bounce, I count along with them: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.* I don't see any jacks, though.* *One of them has a string attached to their hand.* * I am very content and comfortable.* I think I would really like to work here, because*it is so close to where I live, I would have a trivial commute.* *I'm looking around the fringe of the courtyard to the*surrounding buildings in the area as I think this.* There are people sitting to my left and right, I sense their heads in my peripheral vision, but don't look at them closely.* *I have* a feeling of serene happiness.* *I look up at the sky, it is bright and blue without a cloud.**

Then entering from the left, an inky black roiling cloud blotting out the entire sky is moving rapidly towards us, from left to right.* *I stand up and make some comment (or it's a thought), about how I have to go now and don't want to stick around for that cloud, and with a thought about wondering what they think about my flying away, I do a superman take off and start flying to the right, to stay ahead of the cloud.

I'm flying right* on the wavefront of the cloud, I'm partially within it, I look at it and see bits of things swirling about violently, wisps of cloud, rain perhaps.* *I will myself to fly faster to stay ahead of it.* I really focus on flying faster and faster to stay ahead of it.* I want to fly 2x, 3x faster.* * I turn around and continue flying away from the cloud (back-first) while I'm looking at it.* *I think if superman's suit was made to be water-repellant (meaning it reacts like a magnet to water, pushing the wearer away from the water), he could be able to effortlessly fly faster than any persuing*cloud, because the water vapor in the cloud would repel him away.

Then I'm standing in a long featureless corridor.* I think (or someone says?) that if this were true, people could then manipulate and control superman by moving water around him to repel him into a place of their choosing.* I look down on the floor and there is a flat image of a smashed-up superman, presumably who suffered from this feature of his water-repelling suit.

I move into an adjoining room.* *The visual quality sharpens and is super vivid.* *There are two (female-like) characters here.* *The substance of the room (walls & floors) and the people themselves are like clay models.* *But they're moving.* * Very sharp and vivid.* *The colors are: black, brown, deep red.* They both have black hair, but their bodies seem to be sculpted out of clay as well.* *Strange faces.* * I have a fleeting thought about sexual engagement with them since I detected their female-ness but did not pursue this.* I hear a man's voice from an adjoining room.* I enter the room (wondering if the* women are guards and will follow me), and there is another clay man there with similar features to the women, black hair, he's (training a young person?).* *There's a (clay?) bear?* *

That's all I remember, I think I woke at that point.

Too short

Not sure how or when, or what happened previously. I found myself walking on a street similar to 13th st n in lethbridge. I saw some small critters like squirrels walking towards me. I ignored that and immediately thought of jamie. I wanted to find her but forgot how. I focus on her feeling and across the street was a woman with dark hair sort of like hers but the image wasn't clear and she was passing a church. Already had the watery feeling like the dream was going to end. I knelt down instead and beckoned the squirrel before me. It was limping and the left leg of it was flattened like it was run over. But it was crawling toward me. A deer across the street charged at me as if to protect the squirrel, but the deer stopped a few feet away and shrunk into the form of a dog. It also waddled toward me when I woke up...

Jamie

Just another audio only dream. Jamie was telling me, "... I meant to tell you several times but didn't..." Tell me what? will I ever know?

Strange


I was walking outside some apartment buildings. (while writing this dream i have feelings of other dreams that i can't recall.) I was between two apartment buildings looking for L from work. I got a noti on my phone that A girl L from chilliwack, was trying to contact me on facebook. We had a short conversation that didn't make much sense at all. She sent me a youtube link or something. I opened it and on the video was Frank Muller narrating a dark Tower book. As it turns out I actually fell a sleep To an audiobook The Drawing Of The Three by Stephen King, narrated by the late Frank Muller. and It somehow incorporated itself into my dream. I listen to all the Dark Tower books every few years.

#541- DEILD approx 2am

I don't remember the first part but I have FA. There are double windows at the foot of the bed and wife is on wrong side. The windows are open and a cool breeze is blowing in. It feels nice and I am relaxed and content to just lay there.

I "Fall back to sleep" I am in a room but it kind of dark. There is a white ceiling fan. I start to feel a little scared of the dark so I go to turn on the light. The pull chain feels like its not clicking the switch but it also feels like the chain is stretchy. Something clicks and there is only a small spot of light on the ceiling fan where the light kit should be but its missing. I pull another chain and the fan blades start but they warp and make odd sounds. I can feel the breeze from it and I feel like the blade will get me so I turn away.

I have another FA back in the odd bedroom with double windows. This time the breeze is much stronger and the curtains are blowing out. I think this must be why I dreamed about the ceiling fan. I hear distant crack of thunder and see a flash of lighting then I hear the sound of gentle rain. I think its good we are getting rain since its been so dry. I consider closing the windows in case we get wet but the breeze and sound of the storm is so nice I decide to wait.

I wake for real this time but I feel so still and relaxed that I go for DEILD. After a few seconds vibrations start. I consider sitting up but I feel unsure if I am totally in yet so I decide to roll. For some reason that feels like that safer bet. I feel the stretch and the familiar separation then softly hit the floor. As a type of RC I decide to jump and test gravity. I open my eyes and spring up with my feet hard. I raise up to the ceiling and gently float down. It's a cool effect so I do it one more time.

Suddenly there are flashes of light and I see this strange demonic shadow thing on the wall. It flickers in and out of existence and moves rapidly back and forth. My throat closes up with fear and I gasp. I start to panic but I decide to try to calm this down a bit. I stand my ground in a defensive stance and say, "NO! No you stop it." Maybe my heart was racing too much or me saying stop it was taken as stop everything but, I am suddenly back in bed wide awake. I think to do a nose plug RC before making an entry on my phone DJ.

Big dreaming night, and pretty good sleep. No extended insomnia.

Got very tipsy, two large-ish glasses of wine.
Ate fresh apple cake, two ice creams, bowl of chips.
Had a happy attitude all evening.
Watched videos before bed.
Read a little bit before bed.
bedtime ~23:30

Taking a more relaxed attitude is everything.

earlier:

+ floating in ocean, attacked by giant whale shark fish like thing, roll around to avoid its mouth getting eaten, it swims off eventually

+ guard at the doorway, I present my key to prove my right to be here, enter apt. see son S1? guard follows, the apartment has colorful but peeling walls, I'm a bit ashamed of the apartment

later:

+ attending some big conference, (outside, preparing to go in)

+ playing wilderness golf?

+ car broken into and emptied. (after a meeting?) I go out to my car parked on the street. It's in the middle of an intersection? The blue ford fiesta? I see that it has been broken into, and completely stripped. It looks like there is nothing left inside. I am panicked and upset, I walk around the car looking for anything, but it's completely stripped. Even my registration is gone, totally empty. Even the jack has been stolen. Looking more, I see there is a door pocket/panel opened on the left side passenger door with some stuff left inside it, I wonder why they didn't take it. There's a police patrol car right next to me, and I'm blocking them and they're trying to get by, I stop them and tell them my car's been broken into.

+ scooter turned donkey ride! [very vivid, feelings of acceleration and gravity!]
The best/most vivid dream of the night is probably the scooter-donkey ride. I was very closely inspecting [inspecting objects, thinking about them and how they work, especially with a close up view, is a sure DREAM SIGN for me. Very often this is door knob/gate locking mechanisms, and sink faucets] "my" scooter. I very clearly saw the gas in the trasparent gas tank sloshing around, interestingly, it seemed to be getting *fuller* rather than leaking out. I looked around back and found that it was leaking, and so I manipulated some things to close the container to stop the leak. I move around to the back of the scooter and inspect the various components that are hanging by their wires attached to the main corpus of the scooter. I line up one on the right hand side and attach it, using guide arrows, and do the same for another component, but on the left side of the scooter. Now a circular grey-scale display lights up with a control and gague system for the scooter and I start touching things to configure it. (There is some woman nearby who comments on something? Forgot...). My attention moves to the handlebars, and the left handlebar front brake control, which seems non-functional. It seems not attached to anything and just flapping there, I try manipulating it buy I get the sense it's not attached to anything. I look down to the front wheel as I'm doing this. I wonder about the maximum speed of this scooter, and the figure 35 MPH pops into my head. I imagine riding it and pushing on the handles to turn (like on a motorcycle, push left to go left, push right to go right). I mount the scooter, which now inexplicably has transformed into a small donkey! There is still a central circular display/handle and I now hold on to this and we take off. It is outside in daylight on a hilly country road setting with no trees. I "turn" the donkey to a side road that heads upwards, fairly rough gravelly/rocky terrain, and wonder if this thing has the strength to go long with me on it, and how well it will go uphill. The response is that it energetically sprints up the hill, very quickly, and *accelerates*! I feel the gravity and the acceleration as I strengthen my grip to hold on! We lurch forwards up the hill, turning towards the right. Now it seems that we are in some multi-townhouse division with a paved roadway/driveway, still hilly, still heading uphill. There are two men working in the road ahead, and I'm somewhat concerned about encountering them. As I pass them they do not seem threatening but are amused at my passage. Then something about turning downhill and giving a little girl a flower, but that is less clear.

+ walking through office with g/f L, we're in the printer room, there are large printer/copier devices there, they have colorful declas on the side, we kiss briefly in printer room, look at oddly colored and logoed printer/copiers, walk to cube, lots of people in close space close cubes, drinks cooler on ice on desk full of bottles of cold beverages, many of them motel-sized small drink bottles, many of them alcoholic, the manager there warns that some of those are very potent, I enter my cube, there's a team of young IT guys dismantaling routers there, wires are everywhere, they're asking me questions

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening astral projection

I am in VFX, the nearest city, heading to the bus station to get a bus home, but the street is packed with people. It's some holiday and everyone is celebrating. Then I realize I am not wearing a mask and have been walking through all these people who are also maskless. I look deep inside my bag and find a mask I carry for emergencies. The buses are not coming and people are angry. Then a group of people at the end of the line for the bus, spots a bus stopping a few hundred meters before, to avoid the crowd and they start running to get to it firs. I join them. Then a meteorite crosses the sky. We hear something on the news about incoming meteorites worldwide. When I finally get to my mom's home, another one of those meteorites flies by her building. I go to the window to check it out and realize it is not a meteorite but a spherical UFO. It comes to check our windows. I tell mom to stay still but the UFO somehow enters the room without breaking the window and analyzes us. Mom panics and collapses. The UFO is a type of intelligent drone and asks us to cooperate or else. Then forces us to have a math lesson with a hologram teacher, who for some reason is Cristina, a Portuguese tv host. She asks me to solve a math problem but I struggle with it, because she wrote it on a screen and immediately deleted it, plus they give a gadget that is some kind f calculator and I don't know how to operate it. They get upset. Meanwhile my dad comes in, doesn't realize there is an alien drone projecting an hologram, thinks the lady is real and starts flirting with her. I feel so embarrassed that I ask the alien drone to please forgive him and it actually becomes more friendly.

Spending some time at some place like a kindergarten. I am friends with the teacher and I am replacing or helping her. RAP has a kid going there and at the end of the day comes to get him. We meet and we get very friendly, we goof around a lot. I think he likes me. Then his wife also comes by and he introduces me to her with too much enthusiasm and with his hand around my waist. I feel awkward and she clearly is very upset. She is gorgeous, but I get the vibe he has way more fun with me. Some woman complains the next day that her kids didn't do homework or something and that it was our fault.

I am sleeping over at some Japanese friends' house. When I arrive he serves me tea. Hands me a strange package with detachable packets, each one with a different infusion. I just want to drink some hot beverage, but he claims it is important that I read the texts printed on each packet and choose the one I want accordingly, no matter if it's in the middle or end of it. I say I don't care, just detach the first one and he insists the choice is part of the experience and we end up debating the virtues of caring or not for that and I no longer care about the tea. I then spot on his tv some anime show that looks familiar. I see that it is written by a polish guy I know from the Sangha. I love it and then realize it is very similar to the story I have been wanting to finish for a graphic novel.

I am back in VFX with Riverstone and the town looks totally different. The street layout is changed, one of the main roads is now pedestrian friendly and it has now lots of tourist shops selling historic artifacts and ethnic crafts. I find my dad at an Indian shop arguing with the seller that some amethyst necklace is actually made of turquoise. I try to reason with him that the Indian guy is right but he insists we are wrong. I accidentally damage a bag some with ink I had in my hand and try to hide it, but then my dad knocks down a bottle of perfume and breaks so all attentions go to him.

I think I have a moment of astral projection. Starts off as a false awakening in my bed, it's dark in my room, I feel my cats cozied up in bed with me, but at the same time I realize I am not quite in my body and I am seeing through my closed eyelids. Then I hear a strange "ting ting" noise approaching and recognize it as my grandpa's walker coming towards my room and stopping by the side of my bed. I don't see him, but I do feel very clearly a presence and a darker shadow where the sound just stopped. My grandpa died a couple of days ago, so I realize I am being visited by a ghost. First I feel scared but then force myself to calm down, after all it is just grandpa checking on me before possibly departing to elsewhere. Just like he would do when he was alive, he would walk by silently and look casually without saying a word before moving on.

At some area with apartments, shops and gym. I just had an ice cream at a food truck and some guys that know me and some who don't, just exchanged some comments and catcalled me. I am a gorgeous woman, with the looks of the likes of Sofia Vergara, but I am also a detective or police agent in my pant suit trying to be respected for who I am. The sun is setting as I walk across a courtyard leading to a long staircase down to a car park. From the top of the stairs I see the shadow of someone stabbing another person at the car park. I am unarmed and my instinct is to go back and see if nobody else is coming and call for backup. I enter a gym that is just right next to me and warn some women there of what just happened so they take cover and hide. I also call the police and they say they already had been warned because there are more bodies and the killer is on a spree. When they arrive, they take me to where there is a line of bodies left by the killer on a street nearby and they evacuate everybody in the danger zone to a safer place. The manhunt starts. I find a suspicious black woman hiding in a tight corner of an alley holding a knife. I tell her to stand down but she won't and tries to attack me. I remove her knife but she has more knives and keeps reaching out to it. I manage to remove all knives and immobilize her and other agents come to take her. She claims she is only hiding from the killer and has the right to defend herself because I could be the killer. I grant her the benefit of the doubt and I say that I believe her and I apologize if we are being unfair but she still needs to be interrogated because she was acting suspicious and had some 5 knives on her.
The officers then tell me they have found the suspect, a male, and he is cornered on the top floor of a building with a kid hostage. We all go there but only I go inside the room to negotiate. He has a knife pointed to the kids throat but I get close enough to throw a small knife to his head. Doesn't kill him but hurts him enough so he drops the kid. The kid is taken by other officers. The killer takes the knife out of his skull and grabs more knives. We fight, he cuts me a bit, but in the end I make a choke hold with my legs around his neck, disarm him and flip back throwing him unconscious. I am exhausted and hurt. All my colleagues are in state of shock and awe and unable to say anything. I feel sad and lonely as I pass them going down the stairs.

I thought I was missing a dream... It seems I skipped an older DJ entry by accident...

12th August 2020

8:30

Dream:

(points) Something about furry art. A kitchen, on-board a boat. Fancied two girls who were aboard. They were flirty? But they didn't know about one another.

I was in some open restaurant area. I wanted soup from some famous female cook? I remember running in my home town. It was busy. I saw a motorised unicycle of some kind with a white paint job; I thought it looked kind of cool and I thought about how someday it would look out of place, outdated and silly. It was night time and I had to sprint my best (didn't feel dream slowness too much) to get to a harbour that was where the exit ramp out of town should be. From there, this cruise ship was leaving and I knew this because of its horn which I heard while running. I didn't want to miss it.

I got to the loading ramp just as it was leaving and made a jump for it. It was a bare miss from my mark, plunging into water and grabbing onto a rear steering fin.

From there I thought of calling someone (JC?, but the character or my old friend?) on the ship to bring me a rope. Then thought of just using a teleport command instead. No, instead I decided I could do this by myself and balanced on top of the steering fin and despite the water and speed, jumped forward and got on the deck.

I got in through some doorway, watching my head. Passing thought of "so what if I fancy both of them?". I go down some steep metal or wood steps and I see her, one of these girls whom I apparently fancied. She was taking off some clothes in order to get changed. She had red briefs, a blood red colour.

I remember we both smiled at each other but didn't speak. I had the awareness of having a glazed clay bowl in my hand and wanting some soup. There was a kitchen ahead through another bulkhead doorway. When I got inside the kitchen, there were two aggressive dream characters sort of accosting me. I forget who they were or looked like, but they were like pirates?

Insistently I told them I would pay them to be left alone while I was in here. They thought I had nothing of value (mocked me?) and I remember scrounging through my pocket. Dozens of coins, I shove them at the two "pirates", the coins aren't nearly as valuable as I'd first expected however. I keep looking through my pockets. A stone? No, an ore nugget of sorts. It feels rough and I give it to them. It was a nugget of gold, but in reality the feel of it was more like a piece of pyrite ore like one I have in waking life.

But I still decided this wasn't enough and somehow gave them something else but I don't remember what it was. They are now dumbfounded and agree to my terms now. Their aggression goes away, pretty much, and now I walk around the kitchen and see a very orange-y styled chest freezer, with pictures of garfield on it. I assume this is some BL ice cream thing A started.

I remember going near a counter at the end of a queue bit, effectively bypassing said queue. But I felt as though I'd earned it with my payments to the "pirates". I still want that soup, but I can't or don't manage to find any?

The next thing I remember, a black chef is getting fired and complaining that he was in a good mood and the head chef ruined it all and so on. I remember very shortly after, reading a review online that this chef left about the restaurant, saying very poor things about the crew or something. I feel that it's in bad taste (but feel some sympathy). Then I'm in an upper deck. Mix of a train and airplane aisle? Windows to the outside. It's day-time and some people are sitting in this cabin-like bit by the windows. A white girl says "I was pinning (some artist)", referring to how she was subscribing to this artist on some platform called "pin.it"?

We're talking about furry artists, apparently. She mentions she feels embarrassed for talking about it out loud. A big black man sitting next to her, gives her some reassurance and tells her he actually had some interest in that same artist too.

I forget what else happened, a lot of detail is absent from this DJ entry overall but I had a lot more recall of the dream initially.

Some other bit about a base, partially in space? With technical-looking game block tiles and an ancient Egyptian ruin? Some overlap with the pirates somehow...

---

Original note:

- On waking I could smell the curry I'd left on a timer to start cooking at 7AM. The cookery related part of the dream may well have stemmed from that and from all the preparation I'd done for it last night. I also made a dessert, leaving the curry, the main course, to effectively cook overnight. In the dream, I was looking for a soup, which to me is traditionally a starting course.

Added notes:

- Quite likely the search for the soup was both a metaphor and a more literal desire at the same time. In the literal sense, a true full meal, to me, should include a starter such as a small soup, a main course, with meat or fish, and a dessert course, such as a sweet pudding of some kind and the meal we would be having the day of the dream would be missing this starter course. In the less literal sense, this food-related dream-plot goes back to old roots and to what I was used to having at meal times for a large part of my early life, so it seems somewhat nostalgic in a sense. I could extrapolate more meaning from this but these are the two most immediately relevant meanings to me.

- The more carnal aspects about relationships on this dream maybe just came about as a coincidence with the food plot, since food and sex are supposedly pretty close in the brain, that's what makes sense in my mind anyway. But the two girls were also distinct in some way that I can't remember anymore (one may have been more open and the other more reserved and other such dualities?), so in the more metaphorical sense they are probably just relating directly to some aspects of myself, not to mention that at the time I was working on developing two characters that had a similar nature of duality between them.

bedtime, ~10:15pm, yay! finally!
g/f (reading in bed on her phone) woke me mistakenly with sound on phone, boo, this put me off for the whole night. boooo!!!!
around midnight, fell asleep again?
2am woke
awake until 7am!!!!! Up out of bed sitting in other room from 5-6am or so
Felt like my ability to fall asleep was completely broken. I felt the "jerk" of approaching sleep many times but each time I jerked awake. I think this is hyper-alertness from a lot of day work and strong intent. It felt like the time I tried to WILD for 5 nights in a row and eventually lost the ability to fall asleep, with that same sensation of approaching sleep causing an "AHA! DREAM approaching!" reaction, preventing sleep.

+ girl at party, young for me, but I'm close with her, look at her face closely, odd-ish face, not exactly attractive, but I think I'd kiss her. Then she goes around to my back and hugs me from the back, and whispers into my left ear, "I like you....". I answer, "I like you too!" Her father (?) is in the room so I'm inhibited. She's in front of me again and I place my hands on her torso, feel her ribs, she seems a bit scrawny & overly thin.

+ LD #256 In a large, high-ceilinged, dimly lit, white room (more like an empty building with white walls), I'm lookin over my shoulder to the wall to the left of me, I quickly sense dreaming/dream location, not entirely sure yet, but I get up on top of the low solid white wall (it's like stucco) in front of me (like I'm in a loft or higher area above a lower area in front of me) I feel light and "feel like I can fly" so I lean forwards and glide ahead and to the right, and knew I was dreaming. fly through series of crystal-cave like narrow tunnels (little more than body width in diameter) that keep extending into the distance. Fly through areas that keep extending 3-4 times. The visuals are dark gray-scale coloring. lucidity fairly high. play with colors, I declare the "next area will be green" and colors appear in the distance (blue/green). Visuals fade, I expect them to return, and they quickly do, see something in the distance, and approach an area like in a Star Wars game, a section of dark corridor in front of me opening into a small round-ish brightly lit room with equipment, an automated turret or other machinery on the ceiling, that becomes a droid or a stormtrooper as I approach. I pull my lightsaber from my belt (always works! It's always there) and ignite it, get a good solid lightsaber sound, but no visuals [as always]. I will it to be solid and bright, I say or think "be BRIGHTER!" "be BRIGHTER" several times and I get a weak transparent green cylinder to appear. The robot/ trooper approaches, and I wave the lightsaber about to attack, as if I'm slicing it, but it's like a flashlight, no inertia or weight, and I think it's not doing anything. I'm past the trooper and I'm inspecting the surroundings, very detailed and bright, numerous objects are lying about, I move on through this room into an adjoining room, where 3-4 people are sitting / reclining on low chairs or chaise lounges. Some are female and I get the idea for "a bit of fun" (but I want to keep it short and quickly move on, to avoid waking). Visuals are very clear and crisp.

Spoiler for light sexy-time:

I give the one on the right (brunette, mid 30's) a (clothed) quick two-handed goose. left hand on her right breast, feels pliant yet firm. I step back and decide what the heck, and I tell them to show me their breasts,

and I wake up.

+ [vivid, mostly forgotten due to abrupt awakening] another gathering, fairly long, party book, photos & sheets printed, cousin?

Creepy red creature
I am a spectator of a woman living on a sort of high tower. She did something that will make some sort of demon monster come and run up the tower to kill her. She waits and it's suddenly there and throws her against a wall with rather whacky physics, like in a video game, and blood splatters everywhere. The creature looks somewhat like an enemy from SUPERHOT. Then suddenly it's like real and I am now on the tower and did something. I watch it in terror, it's running up the stairs to the tower and is there soon. Then suddenly it's in front of me and also throws me against the wall and kills me. Then I am at home, and my mother did something that made me think it will make it come up. I complain to her and she tells me she doesn't believe it. I think about how it even gets into houses, and I tell my mother to properly lock the door, but she takes her time and keeps telling me things, and when she finally goes to lock the door, it seems to be too late. But then nothing happened and for some reason my mother is gone. Then the dream fades a bit and apparently I'm lying in bed. I get a bit aware that I am dreaming and try to open my real eyes to wake up, but it doesn't really work and I can only open my dream eyes, so I build up confidence since I think that the creature might be right in front of me. But it isn't there, so I stand up to see the brightly lit, but way too silent room. Outside, it is very dark. Then I hear very loud breathing, coming from everywhere at once. It had to do something with my mother, and I really wanted to wake up. And, as I wished, it worked this time. At some point, there was also some game title screen with the title "Worry - The game".

---

That was creepy. Quite a cool dream. Also good that I got a bit aware at the end there, but not aware enough to remember that I could change the scene instead of waking up. Sad that I lost the opportunity. Also, that "Worry - The game" part might be a pretty funnily obvious reference to how I feel every day.

meta:
-------
bedtime: 23:00-30?
waking: 01?
waking: 03?
shocked awake 03:30 neighbor cutting firewood
Not making progress falling asleep , get up & sit in other room.
final waking 08?
Long time recalling dreams
get up: 09?
Fairly tipsy at dinner time, several glasses of wine. Steak & salad for dinner, plus remainder of our desserts (cheesecake and a chocolate cake thing), then our apple pie while watching a video
Watched video before bed

dreams:
-----------

early:
+ motorcycle ride on highway, turn right onto highway, a guy riding a fast (black) motorcycle streaks by me, weaving in and of traffic. I'm riding along and I come up on a guy riding a standard, I like the standard style and think about this. I think it's a Honda, and I'm weaving left and right of him to get a look at the model name on the gas tank but can't quite see it, but I think it's a Honda. The highway veers off to the left and I take the off-ramp to the right, I think I'm heading to city "A" (next to home city of B), the landscape is empty low hills. As I come to a stop sign I try to remember where the breaks are, on the left or the right handle. I remember the right handle, and squeeze the right handle bar break lever and push the right food lever. As I come to a stop I remember at the last minute that I need to downshift to first and quickly push down my left foot on the shift lever and click it a bunch of times to get to first gear. I start again and go slowly, this is not a powerful bike, but I feel like I'm holding up traffic and pull back on the throttle and speed up. The road goes up and to the right, then heads down, these are tight turns, very twisty, and I get the impression this road is not heading to a city but out into the wilderness. I have a feeling that I won't be able to make it back if I continue (I forget I'm on a motorcycle? I'm worried about the uphill portions on the return trip). I stop on a landing and look around, and a guy on a bike zooms approaching from the other direction up the hill, not visible because of the sharp elevation change, and jumps into my vision in the air and continues off, from my right to my left. I look around and see vague collections of orange-ish blurry dots in the distance. All around, spread out among the hills all around me, I think these are camp fires.

+ I'm playing basketball. I can't make a shot, and even layups won't go in. I'm playing with a cabbage instead of a basketball? I can't even make a simple layup. My opponents are goaltending and just blocking all my shots, really dominating me. The cabbate is in a large bucket of water/brine and a big leaf separates from the head and floats in the water.

later:
+ [epic, long, vivid, fairly present, two lucid moments]: I arrive to a new job at company N, I'm really happy and proud to be here. I'm walking in the corridor between cubicles in a large indoor office space. I show off my new badge on my right hip one of those id badge roller things. It is a sort of brownish mottled looking design without a picture, I think it's just a temporary badge. I soon come to a cubicle where a young guy is, blonde hair, (name of "Claus?"), I have a long technical conversation with him about the C model he's been working on (for 3 years?), he's finishing up this work.

I walk about some more, I see boyhood best friend MR and my mom approaching me down a corridor between offices (the wall) on the left and cubes on the right, there are people in front of them and I try to catch their eyes from a distance. I feel like MR meets my eyes and that we will have a mutual recognition, but it will be a surprise for him. My mom comforts a woman in front of her, a widower who lost her husband recently, my mom hugs her from the back but the woman doesn't want the comfort and shakes her off, the woman has a very pinched, bird-like face, it's an old, wrinkled face, 80+ years old. Her husband, someones [narrator?] says [or I remember?], was the man who saved Ev.McW.'s father [boy scout friend] [false].

Walking among the cubes, I see a tray of cookies, and I pick one up and take it with me and eat it. It is a medium size, circular, with a moist chocolate filling center, and surrounded by a ring (about 1/4 inch) of sprinkled seeds like sesame seeds.
I come across a guy and see his face clearly. At first I think it is RoWh, but Rob was fairly fat and this guy is thin. He's standing facing me, and I'm looking close at his face trying to place him. I say "I'm sure I've worked with you before." He and some other woman comment on the "tatoo" on my lip and this confuses me. They're talking about the cookie crumbles on my face and I'm a bit ashamed of this. Standing among the cubes, these people are now in their cubes and are wearing masks. I say that "I've been away from the workplace so long that I forgot that people wear masks now," and I'm concerned about the fact that I forgot to bring a mask and wonder where I'll get one.

I'm wondering now about the day's schedule, and if there will be an orientation. I find (or she finds me) my HR person managing my first day and she hands me a schedule. I look at it and see a number of hand written notes, and think the first entry is about 2pm, and I feel relief that I haven't missed anything because it must be far from 2pm still.

The HR lady brings me to a demonstration that a team is putting on on an open floor area. There are tons of little lego pieces spread evenly out over about a 1-square meter area. I step over this and try to avoid stepping on any of the pieces. The word "minefield" is spoken by somebody behind me. The demonstration begins, and little active "AI" pieces that look like flies, with ltitle moving legs, are gathering all the loose pieces together into a single flat area/pile so that there is no space left. This is using AI technology. That's the whole point: to gather up the pieces and bring them all together into an area with no space between them. The HR lady is also watching, she's wearing a white tank top and shorts, and she squats with with her knees out widely to watch the AI presentation.

+ [different scene?] I'm in mall walking among stores. I'm nose pinching to determine if I'm dreaming. The air seems blocked, but not completely. I can't tell if I'm dreaming or not. I keep repeating the nose pinch 3, 4, 5 times. Each time it seems like some air gets out but it's not flowing easily like it should. I concentrate on the feeling of my fingers on my nose, and it feels completely solid like a waking nose. I know that the nose pinch in a dream should feel like my airway is not connected to my dream body nose, but it seems in this case that it is. Unclear results of the RC [but I'm counting this!]

+ [back to the work dream] It's time for lunch now for the new hires, mingling with the employees. Standing in some corridor among the cubes, leaning up against a wall on a corner between hallways. The cost of lunch is $1.75. I'm not sure if the new hires are supposed to pay or not. I bring out my wallet and prepare three $1 bills. I'm trying to be coy about this and get somebody to say "no no new hires don't need to pay." A very large (tall and wide) screen across the open area on a far wall is displaying the two major lunch groups, with the names of long-time employees [so we can decide which group we want to be in?]. I go in. I see meet a guy I think I may know. He shakes my hand. He makes a gesture like "woah, your hand used to be all the way out here when you shaked before, you've lost a lot of weight." And then Ne.McK. (grad school friend) is there, I recognize him, he pulls up his shirt to show his abdomen, that he's lost weight, too.

I'm now thinking about someone else I knew, Jo.Sa. from high school. I can imagine his face, but have forgotten his last name. I think he's a colleague here, too. I'm wracking my brains trying to remember his first name, even though I know he worked at company A [true], he works at this company N now I think? I finally "remember" his last name, "PUSHKIN!" I exclaim. I ask the guys "hey, does he have Russian roots?" They say yes, "his family were landholders." I am excited to learn this information, and pump my first in the air and exclaim "Yes!"

+ I'm standing [still at work] at a printer(?) station. There is a young woman there, and a colorful scene/patch of sky across from me even though there's no window, and I'm looking at the quality of the colors and the clarity of her face, because I know it's a dream, and I want to examine how things look and feel in a dream.

[wake]

+ I'm in a vague indoor area with slanted floors on different levels. I'm carrying something and I put in in a shopping cart to bring it along with me. My old boss from comany P (in NY) is there, riffing on a guitar. He's quite good and the music is interesting. I think he's going to come with me on my walk through these rooms and he'll keep playing his guitar.

I was in a school gym that looked like the gym from Centre Acres back in MA that I think was also a gang hideout and I quickly got spooked and left. I walked outside and met a talking badger who was REALLY cute and fluffy and we talked about something I can't remember for a while before I got a call. A screen appeared in front of me and began transcribing the call in real time - there were two police officers on the other end, asking me what I knew about the gang and its members. I didn't know anything, and eventually the officers began bickering amongst themselves in another language; I briefly heard my brother's voice translating it for me, but it was displaying in English on the screen. A video appeared and it looked like a desert military base or a plateau or something getting overrun with what looked like ants - just a huge sweeping black mass. I hung up.

The badger began to talk again, expressing fear about his living conditions and loneliness that nobody ever came around to talk to him. I petted his fur and leaned down and gave him a hug and a chaste kiss on the forehead, and awoke shortly after. I recall him saying something very creepy, though he sounded like he was about to cry - "You're about to journey down a path worse than hell. This place is broken."

Monday, 9/14/20, Core 2

I resembled my waking life self, although I was in a strange place. I seemed to be underground. The dirt floor was damp with pools of water and there were various discarded items strewn about. I removed a bird from a wicker cage. I think it was a white cockatoo. I was thinking of it as my pet, despite never having had or even held a bird. I wandered around and the bird sometimes rode on my shoulder, sometimes on my hand, sometimes flew short distances away. At one point the bird landed on my hand and I tried to pet it on the chest with one finger. It decided it didn't want me to and started gently biting my finger with its beak. At first I thought it was cute and was playing, but then it began to bite my finger harder. I realized I knew nothing about handling birds. I stopped attempting to pet or play with it but now it latched on hard to my finger and it was pretty painful. I regretted not bringing the cage.

After some more traveling, we ended up at a pool party, perhaps in someone's backyard. Other people had brought their pets as well, and I had my camera to take pictures. DV member MoonageDaydream made a cameo! She was recording video of a small white terrier dog, then she switched to taking video of all the animals. She shrugged semi apologetically, and told me something like, "I have plenty of footage and I want to get the other pets too. I only was focusing on the one dog because my mom was worried there wouldn't be enough footage of him."

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

Upon reading back this dream, I finally put two and two together and realized that the wicker cage, the bird, and the underground place with water and debris meant I'd been in the old text adventure game, Colassal Cave!!! So it turns out "get bird" is not so simple in practice, okay? Definitely use the cage. Maybe I'll XYZZY on back there sometime

I had a dream last night that seemed to be set in the current time. When the dream started, my sister and I were in my mom’s house and were taking stuff that had belong to my father that my mom had been hanging onto out of the house and loading it into the back of a pick-up truck that had been rented from U-Haul. We were working on cleaning-out closets that in current waking life are still full of stuff that belonged to him as well as going through dressers and pulling out clothes that could be donated to charity. My mom was in the house while we were taking stuff out of the truck, but wasn’t helping us with taking things out to the truck and sometimes would intercept me or my sister and question why we were getting rid of things rather than keeping them at her house. We kept trying to explain to her that it would be best to donate whatever we were carrying out at the time so that someone in need could use them rather than having them collect dust in the house. Most of them time, we were able to convince mom it was for the best to put the stuff in the truck to be donated rather than to hang onto it, but there was some stuff that mom was adamant that we hang onto.

Eventually, me and my sister had the bed of the truck loaded as full as it could be and were ready to take the load to a local charity to donate it. When we told mom that the truck was full of stuff, she told us to go ahead and get in the truck and that she would be out in a few minutes.

My sister and I then walked out of mom’s house to the new pick-up truck that had the U-Haul logo on it. When we got to the passenger side door, I opened it up and then stood off to the side so my sister could get in first. She didn’t take the hint and stood by the back of the truck. When I pointed to the bench seat, she told me it was her day to choose her seat and she wanted the window so I needed to sit in the middle. I get in the truck and put the grey lap and shoulder belt on and then my sister gets and buckled-up after closing her door.

Me and my sister then spend a long time in the cab of the truck waiting for mom to come out and drive us to take the stuff to donate. While we are waiting, my sister starts talking about our father and then starts trying to get me to share my feelings and talk about how I am doing dealing with things. I really do not want to talk about this as it is still too soon. As she keeps talking about this, her breath keeps getting worse and worse and is really overpowering and unpleasant to smell. I keep trying to change the subject, but she is fixated on talking about this so I am stuck listening to her talk about this and having to smell her breath. I stop responding to her, but she keep trying to get me to share my feelings and I keep having to smell her breath.

Eventually, we see mom walking out of the house and towards the truck. Rather than going to the driver side and getting I, she makes a beeline to the bed of the truck and starts going through the stuff that my sister and I have loaded in the bed while we sit in the cab and wait for her to get in. I see her take a handful of stuff from the bed of the truck back into the house. She does this several more times. Since the truck has electric windows, my sister and I cannot roll them down to try to stop mom and are stuck watching her take stuff we had loaded into the truck back into the house. While mom is doing this, my sister stops fixating on getting me to share my feelings on our fathers passing and we start taking about how frustrated we both are that it is so difficult getting mom to let go of anything. As we keep talking, my sisters breath no-longer smells really bad and I am able to have a conversation with her without even noticing it. The wait also doesn’t seem as bad as it did earlier in the dream since we are talking though things I find important.

While we are still talking, my sister elbows me and tells me mom is locking up the house and about to get into the truck and we need to stop talking about her. I then turn my head and see mom walking towards the cab of the truck and then unlocking and opening the driver side door. She then sits down in the driver seat on my left side and then closes her door.

While mom is working on getting the mirror’s adjusted, she accuses my sister and I of trying to get rid of some of our father’s stuff without asking her permission. As she keeps complaining to use, I notice her breath is even worse than my sisters was earlier in the dream. Mom keeps voicing her displeasure to use for several more minutes after she has the mirrors adjusted.

Eventually, she is done with her lecture and turns the key to start the truck. The battery sounds really weak and after a few cranks is completely dead. We all 3 get out of the truck and then mom decides this is some kind of sign that she is not supposed to get rid of dad’s stuff and tells my sister and I to take everything back into the house and put it where we found it. Both me and my sister have a really defeated feeling know that all of our work to go through our father’s stuff and get it donated to those who could use it was all for nothing and we now have to waste our time putting everything back in the house. I woke up from this dream while me and my sister were trying to talk mom into letting us donate some of the stuff that none of us would ever need and mom being insistent that we put it back where we found it.

I think this dream was definitely related to some real life frustration I am feeling with my mother hording all of my fathers stuff and refusing to deal with donating it to those who could really use it, especially in the current time when there are so many people in need.