non-lucid

3rd April 2021

Some in-line thoughts and notes.

Dream:

I am in a car with H. We are driving down a hilly area. I'm sitting facing the back of the car, but I'm in the copilot seat next to H who is at the driver's seat. The steering is not on the side it should be. It's sunny and I can see sharp shadows from the sunlight. H doesn't seem to b ewearing sunglasses or straining despite direct sunlight in his eyes.

Behind us, or in front of me, I see a teal van coming down the same road. As they get close I see through our windows it's an old man and his young daughter. They are somewhat playfully fighting over the wheel but it concerns me. It's not somethign to fool around with, I feel. And I fear they may collide with us as they are going past us.

There's a transition but I don't become aware of it in the dream. I am now walking towards a table which seems to be part of an esplanade on a plaza. It's in a tight spot between two buildings with white painted render.

H is sitting down at the table and I take the seat directly in front of him. Adjoining our table is another table. Sat to my right, is the girl from before. I try to tell her something about some dangers? And then, before I talk about the whole steering thing, H tells me not to bother and I realise at this point that I have no memory of the last few minutes.

I think I ask about what happened but don't get a clear answer and now the father is also coming back and sitting in front of his daughter at the table. We each have a meal, but oddly enough I don't pay any attention to mine.

Before all this. Me and H are in a town. It's dark and night time. Can't see too well except for some faint light at the edge of street light fall-off, away from where we are. We are going back to the car but H can't remember where it is exactly, but I did know exactly where it was. The car was like dad's car?

Before that, not sure what the place is anymore. Looking through a cabinet of some sort. There are drawing pads and other things. Me and H talk, they apparently belong to a childhood friend of his, called Tania. I ask what kind of things she drew? He tells me that when they played in the garden she would pretend to have superpowers she'd imagined/come up with and she drew some furry characters, in answer to my question. I vaguely recall seeing one or two drawings, focusing on faces and muzzles.

Fragment:

Before the other dream, before the first morning awakening. Something in a town, medieval-like but also old home like? There's a WoW feel. My old best friend, D is present in the dream somehow and we talk or something. There's something about T3 gear and tanking. I can't remember anything else but even writing about this made me feel nostalgic for some reason, not just for the game but for this friend too.

4th April 2021

Scraps and fragment:

Dream recall mostly faded and no notes taken. I remember at the end of one dream, I realised faintly that I was dreaming and so it was time to wake up or something. There was a hazard situation? But I'm not sure in what context now.

I had a very long dream sequence. In the dream I am in a dark land. I think it was brighter before, but it was night time and I am in some countryside area. In the distance I see burning towns and things like that. The path I am walking along is patrolled by demons accompanied by a dog-like creature on a chain lead. I am able to use some sort of invisibility ability, every twelve seconds or so. It lasts just long enough that I can hide in a corner and when they go past me, I use the ability to make sure they can't see me. I feel like there's some kind of spotlight on the three of us.

The dog senses me on some level but they leave and my invisibility fades and I move along. There are other patrols and so instead of continuing down this road going downhill I instead take an uphill fork in the road, which is narrower and seemingly goes unpatrolled. I don't feel any negative emotions, but I suppose I just feel neutral about everything.

Transition? I am at a town of some sort. It's seemingly the last surviving settlement in this area. At some point I see the settlement from an RTS-like point of view. There are many sub-cultures in this town, who are seemingly self-segregating in cultural terms. But I also remember going into shops and talking to people. Life seems normal and there is a modern feel to most things. There were many little plots involving interaction with others in this dream but I don't recall any in enough to detail to remember any of them fully.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

People live in underground tunnels and different communities occupy different zones and compete among themselves. There isn't an open war, but there is a feeling of war. No one enters the other community's space but when outside there are no rules. I had to be outside for some reason and was chased by some dudes. I escaped in time to the tunnels and once I crossed the entrance they respect the limit and just stay outside, taunting me to come out.
We are run by nazi like leaders and everybody lives in fear and we can't trust no one. I have a girl friend who just recently fell in love with a guy and vice versa. He is staying at her place and he found some really old stuff she had forgotten under some bed sheets in a chest. She wasn't hiding them or anything, just forgot of their existence and they are now considered forbidden items. She tells me she fears for her life, because there is a chance he denounced her for it.
There is an Ikea like factory, which is the sole source of income for much of the people of my community. Without it, they'd starve, but the workplace is a constant climate of terror. I do not work there, but I am passing by at one of their workshops, for some reason and they make me line up with the workers, who are terrified. One of the big nazi bosses is there today and he claims someone did something wrong and asks for a certain number of people to come forward and admit to the wrong doing or they'll have to fire random people until someone admits to the error. People are hesitant. No one wants to admit guilt and they know they might even die if they piss off the bosses, but losing the job also means an almost certain slow death. Still, a couple of people move forward, but not enough to reach the quota of people they say they were looking for. But today they are feeling generous, so they fire those people and just demand the rest of the employees to watch some extremely boring brainwashing film for hours.
I try to sneak out with the ones that were fired, but a supervisor who found some pencil that is supposed to be over some furniture in the expo area, asks me to put it back and he is extremely detailed that it has to be put in a certain way on a certain piece of mahogany furniture and nowhere else. He'll now if I put it somewhere else and threatens me with severe punishment. So I need to go in and cross the workshop where the workers are watching the stupid film. But I cannot, in any way, disrupt it or bring attention to me, as I risk being killed for doing so. So I find myself stuck in the middle of it, moving one baby step at a time, trying to blend in, so that I can put back the stupid pencil in its designated place.

Me and Riverstone live in an apartment building. Our apartment has a balcony that is falling apart. It has cracks that are getting bigger every day and one day as I am outside watching the cracks on a pillar underneath it, the whole thing breaks down and drags a whole wall with it down a hill on the back of the building, into a parking lot. No persons get hurt and it seems like it didn't even hit cars, but actually it scraped a van a little bit. The kid who owns the van comes by and is very upset, not angry just shaken. He is imagining how he could be there a second earlier and be hit by the debris. He wants me to hug him. I feel weird about it but I do and he cries on my arms. Meanwhile the whole neighborhood is assessing the damages. The building seems stable.
Later, inside, I pick up my cat Cuscus which appeared on the hallway for some reason. and take him to the elevator with me, alongside some neighbor. I push the button to 4th floor and while riding the elevator I remember the recurring nightmares I used to have with the elevator never stopping and I see it about to happen again as we reach 5th floor instead of stopping at the 4th. But I reject the nightmare and the elevator stops at the 5th floor. Then I take the stairs down to the 4th. I am surprised by small beautiful golden statues of different Buddhas placed in the handrail down the stairs. I am sure Riverstone put them there but I wonder what the neighbors will say. Also feel like they'll end up being stolen, so I take one with me to go ask him what was he thinking.

I feel like a tourist in some Portuguese village in the mountains. I am walking up towards the village center and I am being harassed by two African men. I think one is trying to rob my bag by having the other one distracting me, but I may be wrong. Anyway, I feel uncomfortable so I fly up and land on the church terrace that oversees the village center. Lots of tourists, including a dutch couple who is sunbathing fully naked, lying down in the church terrace, with something covering their genitals, like their hats or so. There is a restaurant and snack-bar and I go in looking for a snack, but food is really expensive, their signature dish is some mix of seafood that costs a fortune, like hundred euros a person. And the snack bar on the other hand is at the very back of the place and looks pitiful, dark and unwelcoming, So I decide to give up on this one and instead I find a very cute place run by Koreans. An old Korean lady sells beverages and snacks at her own porch, which has a beautiful view to the mountains. Her daughter introduces herself, her name sounded like Jane Over, which I find amusing. She is a lawyer or something, and apparently rich as she is picked up by an helicopter. I continue my adventure by not going back to the village but hiking down a hill leading me to a river valley. At a point, the helicopter passes by, really low and hovers and turns around without them noticing I am on the hill and I am almost cut by the blades on its tail. I escape into an excavated rock, where I stay until they are gone. From there I look up to the higher mountain around and I see something that I'd like to try. There is an hanger inside the mountain from where comes a kind of tobogan slide that goes downhill. From inside the hangar come large transparent spheres, like zorbs, for people to go downhill. But the zorbs are not of the kind that send people tumbling down uncontrollably, but more like the vehicles from the Jurassic World. I find a dirt road leading upwards and I take it. Then it spreads out in 3 paths and I am not sure which to take, but go for one that is sided by fences. It is getting darker and the wind starts blowing heavily with icy air that freezes my bones, so I just want to go back to the village. I spot a black dog ahead on the road looking at me and then he runs away. I keep going and find a couple gates, a bunch of dogs behind them and a small path leading to a house. I am cautious about getting on that road between all those dogs, not sure if they can get lose or not, so I just wait there observing if the dogs are friendly. They are, but still I keep my distances. Two old ladies come out, they look alike, probably sisters. They ask if I need help, but not very happy to see me. I say I am a bit lost and looking for a way to go back to the village. They reply with a bit of contempt that I won't get there this way and there is no way from here that would eventually take me there except all the way down from I came from. I say that's a pity but thank them for the help. They ask me where I am from and I tell them. One of them seems to be thinking for a while and then asks me how is my dog and I am surprised by that. I say I don't have one but 5 and also 4 cats, but she hints that she recognized me from years ago and that then I had only one dog. I don't remember her at all but she is right about the dog.

I'm in the park next to Hemmakväll and look at some video tape from the same place. A person in the video from my class takes some yellow baseball bat looking sticks and puts them under the feet as the person tries to climb a stair. It is very hard but I don't see they do it, only as they start to climb and disappear. It is my turn on the tape and I fail too. Wencai has two golf clubs and walks on them instead. He succeeds. I feel defeated.

I'm listening to Stefan Löfven and Jimmy Åkesson. Löfven sympathizes with Åkesson and dad talks about politics and has the tone when he thinks I am wrong about something. Åkesson walks up and talks but all the people in the crowd dislike him.

I'm at Lidle and I pick an orange juice box from a shelf.

I'm walking to the chair in the TV-room and suddenly wake up. I am very confused because I think that I was just to sit down but now I lie in my bed.

Notes: It may have been a FA but I don't think so.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Very long dream inspired by Doctor Sleep, which I had watched. Long chase by evil beings. Can't remember details but there were several of us in a building and several of them and I am the last survivor. I escape through an elevator to a basement with access to outside. Turns out there is still a friend of mine alive, she kinda reminds me of Zilla but it's not exactly her. We devise a plan to attract the monsters and kill them in some accident. We need to pull them into our minds and make them go from one to the other to confuse them. We create a loop of events in which to trap them. I start. My eyes turn white, I levitate in the air and visualize the events. It all works out but me and my friend find ourselves also trapped in the loop and we panic for a bit. Then we manage to get out.

It's night, full moon, sky very clear. I am at some place looking through the window and see a most weird thing in the sky, like a cloud formation that looks like some object entered the atmosphere by crossing a portal. I try to photograph it but I need to get in a weird position or the image becomes all distorted. There is only a tiny window of an angle in which it is visible and still I am having trouble capturing it. I fall on the ground and eventually give up. But I go outside to see it live and also just enjoy the full moon. I go for a walk and find an abandoned palace and then bring my mom and friends there. Mom is happy to see someone dumped a lot of the fancy furniture and objects near the entrance gate and suggests coming later to take some things away. We are in love with a marble fountain, she says I must take it to my farm, but it weighs tons and I have no clue how to take it. We try removing pieces one by one, but it is mostly one piece about 5 mts long by 2 meters high.
Then I am at a rural village early morning. It is very peaceful until strange things start happening. We hear a strange chilling scream of an animal and then several animals running in panic towards a road. Nobody knows what it is, but I think of a werewolf attack. Then some old lady comes outside from a house, acting like a zombie, carrying a kid of 2 or 3 years old in her arms and throws the kid in the trash bin. We are shocked and while one goes pick up the baby, we go ask her why she did it. She looks like a zombie and says her daughter is dead, no point in keeping the kid as he will only attract the devil and be taken away, like it happened to the other one. Meanwhile, we feel like the monster is coming in our direction and we are preparing ourselves to face it.

Again trying to get away from some evil, I walk into what seems an empty modern building. At the staircase I wonder if I should be going up or down and I chose down. I go down two floors and encounter a couple of housekeeping workers with their trolleys going inside a service elevator. I decide to join them and go wherever they are going. They go up. Then they start making out passionately and undressing each other, despite my presence. They are overweight and not at all attractive but I still get a bit turned on and think "should I join?", but nah... I go out when the elevator stops and I go around a corner and see a reception desk and a long line of very attractive people. Ask what it is this place and it is a public swimming pool. I think that's exactly what I'd like right now, a plunge in a relaxing pool but the line is so long. They tell me not to worry with the line though, because they are all there just to pick up a token or whatever from the receptionist and immediately go to the locker rooms. I follow them but when I undress I realize I don't have a swimming suit or a towel, so I head to the reception fully naked to ask if they rent some. They mock me saying I should have brought my own towel, but about the swimming suit not to worry about because this is a nudist pool. I'm like "Ooooh!" and then look forward to see all those gorgeous guys naked in a pool. I have plans to turn it into something even more interesting. When I get to the entrance, a bunch of naked people are stuck there and I am told some dude got in with a girl against her will and locked the door behind, so the mood is not cool. They are trying to figure out what to do, negotiating with the dude and I feel like maybe I should just go full lucid and move on and so something useful but instead I wake up.

Dream 1: In the dream I gathered a bunch of my friends and we went to go eat somewhere. I then remember walking into a building and it was like a star wars ship, we saw a ball in the middle of the room that allowed us to get a lightsaber and change our colors for it. I then remember going back to my house (I think it was my house, can't remember.) and someone was messing with the moon's size somehow. I then remember controlling an MQ-1 Predator drone then I was launching missiles at my friends as a joke? They didn't get hurt though.

Dream 2: I went to my aunt's house and she helped me with homework it seemed. That was it.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am with Gerard Butler and a team, reminds me the movie Rocknrolla, but also some hints of Ocean's 11. I am carrying something valuable we have to try to sell or deliver safely to some bad dudes. We arrive at some posh restaurant/bar and meet some gangsters. The deal is off and we decide to leave, but we are aware that they'll chase us and try to steal it. So we separate in smaller groups and pass the bags back and forth between us, to confuse them if they are watching, so they don't know who's got the thing now. I am the one still carrying it though. I go through a train station and Gerard is staying close behind. At some point we bump into each other and he takes it over.
We then have to meet at a safe house and it is a really cozy wood chalet of some nice Swiss lady. My friend Tânia is there, sitting in the living room reading a book or magazine. The house is very nice, very luminous, except when we go up some stairs that lead to the attic, which are a bit darker. I go up just out of curiosity and I trip in some gadget the owner has put on the stairs, supposedly to help people hold on and not fall down the stairs, but for me it has the opposite effect. She says she will consider removing it.
I go back down to the living room and accept Tânia's suggestion to read, so I grab a couple outdated magazines from a rack on the wall. Tânia says "don't read that, it is so old" but I don't understand her point. The mags are from 2009 but seem interesting nonetheless. One has some article about the communist party and she says about that "you should read this book instead" and hands me some philosophy book in french.
The others arrive and there is like a discussion about sleeping arrangements. Some complain about not having a bathroom near their bedroom and I go check and they actually have a toilet in the bathroom, but behind some curtains and they just covered it up with a wood board and are using it as a table to put their bags on. They say they are aware of it, but they don't feel there is enough privacy to use it. I get it, I try to use it and I don't feel so comfortable with just the curtains, but there will only be guys in this room, why are they being such pussies about it?
Anyway, later I am watching a documentary about a baby lion mauled by a big lion and the lioness trying to revive the baby. It is heartbreaking, but the worst is that the baby is still alive just severely injured and then the lioness gets hurt defending him and we have to watch them both slowly dying. I just can't take it. I switch to a documentary about dinosaurs but it happens the exactly same thing. A baby T-rex is mauled by a bigger dinosaur and then his bigger brother comes to the rescue and also gets hurt and they almost die but find the strength to drag themselves away, looking for safety, and it is just painful to watch.
I then meet my mom and walk her home and while we are at the bottom of the ramp that goes to her building, the two hurt dinosaurs appear at the end of the street walking slowly and I tell her the story to explain where they come from. I don't find weird that they just materialized from a tv show. What I say to mom is that they will attract bigger predators and we should get away from them for safety reasons. Right away, some other carnivore comes out from the corner neighbors' yard and tries to hunt those dinos. But then he sees us instead and finds us a more attractive prey. I tell mom to run up the ramp. We pull each other and we manage to escape. Fortunately, someone had left the door open and we just go right in and close it. The dinosaur sees us behind the glass door and leaves frustrated. Then I notice two travel bags outside on the street, unattended and I tell mom we should bring it inside because certainly someone forgot it there and might be stolen or destroyed by the dinosaurs. We quickly open the door and bring them inside. One is empty and the other has some papers and a few objects. A neighbor comes by and asks if we are traveling. We explain these were outside and we brought them inside to protect them until the owner shows up. Then a second neighbor arrives and claims its theirs and that he was preparing to take it to his car and thanks us for our concern, but I feel he is slightly upset that we picked it up and looked inside, like not sure of what our intentions were.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am coughing a lot. Feeling lots of mucus down my throat. I go to the bathroom and spit a lot of mucus out and then feel something coming out up my throat into my mouth and I grab it. Turns out it is some kind of worm and I have to pull it hard and I think I rip it apart and only get the head out. Disgusted and worried, I go to the doctor and while there I have another cough attack. I explain what's going on and the doctor mobilizes a couple nurses to help me with puke it all out to some container. I puke a lot of mucus again, but no more worms. The doctor analyses the worm that I brought in in a jar and says it is really just the end of a long tapeworm still inside me. He prescribes me a pill to kill the worm - although probably already dead without the head - and for my body to expel the rest of ot, but even the doctor isn't sure if that's gonna work.

I am with Riverstone at some foreign country to help a couple scientists who we know and are in trouble. The world thinks they are dead, but turns out they were just hiding. They are an old gay couple and look cartoonish, with big curly mustaches and strange shaped heads, also one is tall and thin as hell and the other is basically a dwarf. Thy also wear early 1900s clothing style. I have so many questions, but what matters is that they are ok. They have been staying in the house of a lady scientist, who gave them shelter. We meet them at some mall but then they take us to her house and when we arrive there, her kitchen floor is flooded with water. But apparently it is on purpose, she is fostering some odd looking ducklings and leaves the water running. She tells us on the phone that she has a drain under the cabinets that keeps draining the water so it doesn't go after a certain limit.
They then take us along with them to the university, where she is presenting the discovery they made that is the reason they went into hiding. Nobody in the audience knows what she is going to show. It's just some lecture about cell biology.
She basically shows microscopic videos inside cells and everyone is amazed at the quality of it, totally mind blowing. People want to know the technique. Then she points to some very small structures I have never seen in a cell and ask us all if we cab guess what that is. Riverstone jokes that it is the Instagram logo and in fact it looks like it. Nobody else seems to have a clue to what it is, but I do. I say "it is an eye!", to which she confirms it is in fact a synthetic microscopic eye that can be planted at the cellular level, is totally organic, functions like an organelle and can watch anything inside the human body at the cellular level, but also somehow sends out an input to a computer interface so that we can actually see what they see. Everybody is mind blown.

I go out to eat something with someone, but everything around is so expensive, we decide to go to a small fast food deli with good vegan burgers. One of the cooks is Beta, a lady that was one of my educators when I was a kid. She and a colleague are baking some delicious orange cakes and they get a bit annoyed when we order burgers and fries, like that was not on their plans. But they manage actually pretty fast. They ask if we want dessert to complete a menu and I say I want one of those orange cakes. They say no because it is some important order for someone to pick up and are not available to other costumers. I insist on just a small piece but Beta is adamant and very protective of her cakes so I settle for something else. I also notice somehow the cost of the menu is now 3x higher than what they said it would cost at first, but I don't say anything.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At a high school, but I feel like just a visitor. Billie Eilish gave a concert there the previous day. Now I meet Claudia, the girl who kinda gave me the push to discover Billie, and I just realized she looks like her a lot and she even died her hair like her. She has a serious crush and I recall my own crush for Björk when I was her age. But I also like Billie and I have a song stuck in my mind and start singing it out loud. So Claudia joins me in it. She is also a singer, but like me, our paths took us different ways from a musical career and I think about how that is sad but also ok, because not everybody can be talented in the same way or doing the same thing.
I then meet Zilla, Licas and other girlfriends from high school and they join us. We talk, we sing and we do something like an homage or invocation of someone who passed away. Then we go to the cafeteria and while we are snacking, the girls look at me scared, saying that my whole face his covered in red scars. I look in a mirror and I look like someone burned my face all around with a flaming iron. But I don't feel any pain. Then the girl to my side also shows the marks and the others freak out and try to distance themselves from us, suggesting we did something that caused that. But I am sure I didn't. Then I see the lines showing up also on their faces and someone suggests it is the spirit of the person we invoked, and that it means she never forgave us for some event in which she felt abandoned by us.
We decide to leave and take a bus home, but as we go across the school I notice how strange it looks, like it is some medieval tavern inside a cave and I get lucid. I spot a slit on the cave ceiling through which sunlight shines in. I fly up and go through the slit, but I am taken to another cave, bigger, more open to the outside. It has a sandy beach inside and people having fun there. A dog jumped from a rock above and I worry that he got hurt as he fell in a zone with more rocks and not sand, but he gets up ok and the owners laugh and say he is fine. I fly higher up and enjoy the beauty of the rock formations. Then I get really outside and it is a canyon with really amazing shapes. Then I fly over a countryside landscape and I see all sorts of natural things but also crazy things, like 4 horses doing a tik tok dance, but mostly just beautiful landscape with mountains, small rural villages. And then I reach a barrier of clouds above me and when I go through it, there is nothing above, just the outer layers of the atmosphere and all of a sudden I feel scared with the idea of just floating in a totally empty space. So I go down. I land on a village and rub my hands to increase lucidity. I wonder what to do and I think about seeing my teacher. But when I do, I never get to see him. Still, I see a hotel and I go in to see if he's there. Someone does call my name but it is some old friend from Italy or France (not sure whom). He is gathered around a table with some people both in casual clothes but also some in navy and military uniforms. He asks me to join them. At the top of the table they have like a poster with a letter from the Queen of England, who is like their virtual guest of this lunch. They were invited and the food is all they can eat, paid by the Queen. I wonder what's the occasion, but I just say thanks and leave. Not my goal and I notice my strategy didn't work. So I go outside again, to rethink what to do, but lucidity fades and I wake up.


I am at some kind of event on a tent. Some familiar faces sitting on yoga mats and cushions and also on seats disposes in an amphitheater to the back of the tent. I go outside for a bit of fresh air and give back a mat to a girl who borrowed me hers. I think it was Alicja. But some other girl comes to me a bit upset that I mixed the mats and that this one is hers instead. I apologize and as I talk to them I spot my teacher at the end of the road leading to the entrance of the tent. He is being inconspicuous and he is wearing a mask, but I spot him. I think he sees me too, but I pretend I haven't or that I didn't make a bit deal out of it. Then I lose sight of him. I go inside the tent again and the organizers are asking people to sit at some empty chairs at the top of the amphitheater area, to distribute people more homogeneously. Then I spot my teacher sitting there and some empty seats next to him. So I decide to go seat near him. I pass in front of him and sit two chairs away, because between us there is one guy. I only take a brief look, when passing in front of him and take a small bow to acknowledge his presence. Then I sit there quietly, sucking a lollipop. He also plays it cool, but once the whatever shows starts, he keeps making quick stares at me, so I also look once and we cross eyes and we just lose ourselves in it.

31st March 2021

Fragment:

I am somewhere underground, dark. It's like BL but not quite. Someone has discovered a hack or made a mod that lets you directly access certain game stats. I become a lycan creature and find that I can easily mine through the rock in one hit with my claws.

I look for and find gold ore which is also mined easily. I sometimes stumble into large and more open cavern systems. There seem to be bottomless pits in places and in the distance there is light sometimes, lava or something I think I assume.

There's some recall of interacting with other people or characters and a big sequence about conversion (into an energy form) in some cathedral-like place that reminds me of a map I made a couple of years ago, but recall is mostly gone.

(recall gap)

Something about Picard getting into a confrontation with some aliens where the Enterprise is disguised as a vessel like what these aliens have. They don't trust him and they realise the deception. The captain makes some kind of plea in order to try and avoid them from going further towards human space but the aliens seem unwilling to compromise.

Then something about the Enterprise and its crew needing to be offloaded somewhere while the ship is repaired. The captain is on Earth trying to find a suitable temporary location for a camp?

Notes:
- This fragment was from waking up in the middle of the night. I couldn't get back to sleep very easily, I think I was too hot. I did not recall any morning dreams.
- When I woke up, I remember I was thinking about M/M stuff and a server I joined recently, but I'm not sure why. There was no link with the dreaming, that I can tell.

29th March 2021

Fragment:

I'm at my old home. Me, mom and L are home. I can't remember why or how we notice, but we realise that T should be here too but is actually missing. I ask mom if he isn't just downstairs or something. She says they've checked.

The next thing I recall I'm outside, with mom. We're in some streets which don't seem familiar, but I don't have that notion in the dream. Diffused shadows, desaturated light. We look around for T outside the building, which isn't really like ours. I think I notice a bus stop and wonder if he'd used that but become dismissive of the idea.

Later, we are at a square junction. Past a crossing, I spot him and tell mom, I think. We can't cross yet, but he sees us and starts walking away. I notice he's wearing a skullcap hat thing and generally warm clothing. For a moment I mistake another man near him to be him but I realise it's not his face and wonder how I could let myself make that mistake. We eventually cross but we've lost track of him again as he moved away.

Then there's some stairs or something in front of a cafe, going down into the ground. Worn stone steps. I am on my own now, it's darker here? Something about vampires and a dungeon, I recall some kind of yellow sandstone or limestone.

Last night my dream began inside of a hotel, with a large pool, with very dark water. I wasn't scared in the dream but I went in the pool anyway. After getting out, I see that there is a Walmart in our hotel. I exited the Walmart and I notice a guy on his bike, and he looked like Justin Russo from Wizards of Waverly Place, except with blond hair. I told him that he looked like Justin Russo, but he just kind of shrugged it off. I believe we became friends because he was texting me, and he showed me that he was trying a birria taco? Not too sure why lol.

Yeah

Very vivid sex dream with a brown haired woman. Not sure who it was...

Jamie

Took place in my old basement suite I had in 2011. Jamie was there and I was letting her sleep in the spare room. Not sure the context of this dream.

I'm sure I had other non lucids but can't recall them.

So I finally had another dream, it's been about a week and a half since I could recall my last, and what I remember is my current house being larger than it is IRL, and I believe the dream lasted 4 days? I don't really remember but in the dream I do remember waking up multiple times. When I did wake up, I would go smoke a cigarette, and that's it. (The cigarette part is weird because I've never smoked or had a desire to smoke IRL.)

3/2/20

I am in my godmother's house with her many kids
I am baking
She gets frustrated by my spilling flour
I tell her I will clean up
When I'm done I wipe it all up
The bread is a small breadstick someone asks me about
They compliment me
I notice the house is dirty
I spend maybe 30 minutes cleaning up their living room of debris and paper left from the kids playing
My godfather is very surprised and pleased at the end result
He mentions having a special time on certain days where we can clean like that, as the whole house is disorderly
I am fine with it because it's superficial cleaning and wouldn't take any time at all

Transitions to walking down a street with old highschool friends/church friends
There are several youth group bands set up all singing the same music along the street.
I have a rolling table stand I am leaning on and roll it over to watch the groups play in unison
Suddenly a band behind everyone starts playing their own music
It's not bad it's just not what other people are playing
The other bands stop and seem confused so they turn around and watch the new band play
I stand with friends and lean on my pummel horse type stand table while watching

I am walking down the street with friends again
My buddy Nate decides to hit on some girls we are walking by
He tells them he wants to show them something
We all get on a shuttle/bus that has a sound system
We all have headphones we plug into their sound ports
He is playing some song for them he wants the girls to listen to
I am confused because the music isn't that great
He then tells one of the girls that she looks just like the lead singer of this band and he thought she would think it was cool
People are somewhat impartial
We all now take turns playing music for each other to listen to
I tell the group it would be cool if we randomly played a song and had the group guess who was the one who selected it as a game
People like that idea
We only get a couple of songs in
One is apparent because it's a sappy hills CW type song that is definitely this helpless romantic girl sitting in the front who used to have a crush on me

I now notice that I have two small fuzzy very very newborn baby birds sitting on my head
They seem incredibly premature and I'm not sure they will make it
I carefully remove them from my head and place them down on a counter
They are both still alive but I gather they will need some serious care
I am in a run-down market like a dollar store with no attendant so I start rummaging around looking for materials to build a nest/make food/administer it to them
I've only seen a few videos of people taking care of birds this young and small
I get some soft towels and find some creamy soup I wonder how I will keep them warm and look for a hot water bottle
The attendant comes out and looks confused
I tell them the situation and show them the birds, they are relieved and sympathetic to my cause


3/05/20

Driving w mom in a smart car
She drives off the road, on a log, and almost over a cliff
I carry the car backward and turn it around by hand

I am driving through a winter storm with an older woman in the car
It is a 50's classic now
The controls are two levers
It is tricky but manageable
Highway speeds but tons of snow and ice on the road

I am kidnapped by a larger bald man with glasses
He takes us (myself and three siblings) to some old house in the middle of nowhere
He has an incestuous family
His kids don't wear clothes and they are all dirty
I escape with my sister
We make it a town over before he finds us
He takes me in a car to a meeting
The meeting is in an old dim looking pool hall/bar
They are having a sacrificial service
They are burning a toddler
I don't want to be there
It is a celebration for them they are all dressed up and communing like it is a holiday for them
I am disgusted and try to leave several times
Each time he walks me back in and forces me to watch
It is smokey in the room
I escape and make it to my car while everyone is leaving
I call the police to report what is going on
It occurs to me there were many firefighters and police there and They may be everywhere
The guy on the other end of the phone seems unphased
I hang up and key into my car and start to drive away


3/06/20

Being given a tour of the space shuttle that is a mix of Saturn v
There are a few of us standing on the core up high
There is a screen that simulates the heights and I stand to the side because it is almost disorienting
Just then the top opens up and we are lowered down the sides almost like a ride
We each have a chest strap holder like a roller coaster and we line the inside of the craft facing each other
I wonder if Starship could hold people like this

I am in a classroom with people I went to high school with
The math teacher seems hip
He has long dark hair with some grey streaks
He also wears black-rimmed glasses
He has a unique sense of humor and the students like him
There is a note taped to the front board talking about how his wife left him
It seems like it's meant to be a morose joke
A kid I went to high school with is singing/beatboxing a song and everyone is listening to him
I have the sudden realization that I am too old to be here
It frustrates me
I say out loud realizing it is a dream
'why am I even here? I am too old to be in school!"
Everyone stops and the teacher looks at me
The teacher begins talking to me directly
I don't recall everything he says but he tells me something along the lines of "because you want to learn" it is true, I have been asking to be taught by my dreams
I just didn't expect it to be so literal
He explains a few things to me and his voice becomes jibberish
I begin to wake up
I remain still and focus on the dream and talking to him
The dream reappears around me exactly as before with fewer students in there with me
This happens a few times and I am able to reform the dream and reappear in the same classroom always with the teacher
The last time I reappear the colours are off in the room
I ask him why things look different now
It is almost night time and there are no lights
I manifest small flames in my right hand and intend them to go along the wall in the back of the classroom, with each one the room gets brighter
Once they line the back wall they begin to dim and flicker
I intend them all to be brighter at once and they do
The room is brightly lit now
Our studies continue

I am in the back of a department store mixed with a chemical facility it seems
There is an invisible person wrestling with me
I ask them to help me carry cans of a beverage out and they oblige
I see a girl I used to know hooking up with one of the guys in the bathroom
They are shocked I walked in but I don't care I just have to urinate really badly
I set up to pee and go for what seems like minutes
The guy looks over at me amazed that I am going for so long
The relief feels amazing
My penis hangs down past the knee of my shorts when I am done, I don't care

I am in a gas station/head shop
I purchase a large water pipe and a smaller rig for oil that looks like the nectar collector but more convoluted
For some reason, I throw a small weight through a Pepsi machine and it puts a hole in the front of it
Whenever someone uses water on the beverage station, pop spews out the hole
I find the water cut off and switch it off to fix the problem
I find the water hookup to the machine that was broken and unplug it
I am now able to turn the water back on and other dispensers work


3/07/20

There's a taco truck part of a cultural festival thing
The tacos are super cheap and we buy a few to eat
Like a dollar apiece
I have a backpack full of money

In a friend's house, it is super big with many gadgets and an expensive computer and a voice-activated shower
I am the rich kid doing some promotional tv spot
I am walking on top of a telephone booth and something else that is mostly glass
It breaks with my step and I crash through it falling to the ground
Broken glass is everywhere
I am bloody and covered in thousands of small glass shards
My stomach is cut up too
I can walk fine but everything stings
I go to the large house and tell the shower to turn on
It is a large walk-in room attached to the bedroom
The water is at the perfect temperature
I try to clean myself but some glass still remains
I am picking glass out of my skin the entire dream
I notice several cars driving down the long driveway from the bedroom which is on the second story
My friend's siblings have all arrived
They are all older
My friend offers me some shrooms to take for our trip
I eat one to microdose but never end up feeling anything
They are large like baby bellas not small like normal shrooms
He turns everything off in his room but tells me to leave his windows open
The screens are still in place
We go downstairs and meet his siblings who are all of various ages much older than us
One of his brothers has a hang drum he is playing on the stage in their front yard
I want to play it but never make it onto the stage


3/12/20

Driving see a circle of sunlight on the moon that fades in a minute or two
Parked at a campground that is also the parking lot of the spa
Kevin is giving me a tour of the new facilities
Everything is updated and newer futuristic looking
I am crying because I am back
I pack up and go to leave the parking lot
Drive down the street before I realize I forgot things on the ground by my campsite
A necklace and a few more things
Drive back and there is another car parked in the lot
I pick up my things slowly and a guy walks up to me and asks me if 73-year-olds can float
We talk about the tanks while I walk up to the spa with him
I tell him I was just leaving but I'm happy to talk to him
He is impressed with my knowledge and glad to talk to me
I tell him to tell the people in the spa about me
Mark is standing in the other room talking to other employees

Fast forward
I am in a camper/RV
I am looking at my body and it looks like someone else's body
My ribs pulsate and roll like a fish out of water
My elbow has an exposed joint like a puppet
I am made of a flesh coloured plastic material
My arm is many mechanisms
Someone is shocked I don't look human
I may be an alien
I say oh, those? Those are just my tubes


3/14/20

Some kind of political action event in a long hallway
People are lined up to hear different other people talk at certain intervals
There is a woman in a chair trying to talk to people but no one is listening because she isn't official
There is a man reciting the Hare Krishna
Everyone joins in and sings
There is a dance troupe of guys doing a pre-rehearsed dance routine
I join in for the fun of it but I don't know the dance
He tells me for the next segment I need a pair of boots
I don't have any
They have a special shoe with a brick on one foot
It is like a stomp routine
Later he asks me why I didn't dance as tight as them
I told him I'm not a dancer but I like to dance
I have no formal training
He is sitting at a computer
Upstairs there is a girl who has an amateur bakery in her room
Her oven is a wood stove made of plywood
There are tons of fresh baked bread rolls and sourdough in forms
Everyone seems to be really impressed with her
She is surrounded by older men trying to court her
I wait until fewer people are there and begin talking to her questioning about the oven and how it's constructed
I tell her I wish my parents let me have an oven in my room when I was younger
It is all a sort of historical reproduction now
There are hundreds of smaller birds that I thought were moths at first
They are tiny like the size of cicadas
They obviously are there for the crumbs
I ask her who eats the birds
And a cat appears and catches one on the floor
She says see, a perfect ecosystem
We have a conversation about historical reproduction and how someone a hundred years ago would never imagine that we would be baking bread the same way but then jump in our car and go a hundred miles an hour down the highway
She turns down many gentlemen callers
Our conversation is pleasant


3/15/20

Elon tells me to collect foliage
They capture a dinosaur and take it across the street
I have a special calculator that is an mp3 player for Victor
Nikki falls weird while trying to snowboard down a mountain with fresh powder
We rescue her and she is embarrassed

I'm in a large airport terminal/arcade like a futuristic dave and busters
I am taking a trip overseas with Guy with Ginny too
I realize last minute I don't have a clothes bag packed and go back to pack clothes
I'm walking through the terminal and can't find my clothes anywhere
There is a leak from the ceiling and a couple of small pools of water on the floor
A worker middle-aged woman tells me not to step there and I don't listen and slip slightly but maintain my step
She gets mad at me and tells me she is going to get me in trouble
I ask her if she is a middle school teacher because she's bad at ordering people around
A cop/guard comes over to me later and is annoyed the woman bothered him for such a stupid reason, he mocks her in front of me


3/16/20

Sitting at a four-top table with three other middle-aged women
They are silently bidding on fancy plates to eat pizza with a fork and knife on
The woman I am paired up with tells me she only puts one slice on a plate at a time
We all put our heads down to bid
I don't understand the process and they are all seasoned in it
I look at my phone and swipe away a few messages
The lady across from me chastised me for not paying attention and looking at my phone
I look up and begin to yell at her and tell them that they are all petty as fuck and this whole process is stupid as hell and I walk away out of the store

Down the street, I see Nikki by a large tree next to a river
We hang out and it is a pleasant rekindling
I am suddenly large and cut like Karl urban we begin to hook up but I am also watching it happen
As the intercourse progresses there is a power-play between who is in control
Her face gets blood red and pulsed like she is lifting weights and she grows a beard as she becomes more forceful
The me I am watching asks her why can't I just love you like I used to, and she shrugs

I am in a Halloween store with my mother and there are workers in costume just casually walking around
I go to the makeup section to browse
There is an upstairs loft that isn't too populated but has a guy sitting at a desk
He is selling laser-cut temporary tattoos that literally burn complicated designs into your skin but shed within a day or two
He shows me some demos and I am impressed
It looks like it hurts but he assures me it's quick and painless, he also shows me pictures of how quickly it fades, I think it's a great idea
There is a small snack shop connected to the costume store that has three mini sliders for sale
They have 3 of them put together to show the workers on a shelf up high with a mirror directed to show the reflection
They seem tasty but I don't try any
There is a drive-thru

I am suddenly in a Mexican restaurant of sorts back in the kitchen
I gather I am a server but hanging out with the cooks
I see one of the cooks eating his lunch real quick
There is a paper towel dispenser which is full of long flat tortillas rolled up
His burrito is half hanging from the ripping part as he eats the remainder
I take both hands and pull out the last bit and ask him if I can have it while it's already in my hands
He shrugs and I realize I should have asked before grabbing the food with both hands
I apologize and begin to eat it.
It's dry but flavorful

I am a cowboy in the western 19th century
I am with a troupe who take over some ritzy plantation with force
We threaten with guns but aren't overly violent
The slaves are all worried at first but I assure them they are all free now and don't have to worry about anything
They are all african american women in their 20s and 30s and they are surprised and happy to be freed by us
The plantation owners aren't very pleased but go along with it
We all sit down to have a meal and serve ourselves family-style dishes
I have huge portions on my plate of coleslaw green beans and potato salad
It all tastes really good and I talk to the people around the table about how southern food tastes so much better when you're in the south
There is someone in my troupe who is severely prejudice against army soldiers and there is a soldier who is in the room too
He tries to fight him and wants to kill him outside
More army shows up and there is a large explosion


3/17/20

There were several episodes to my memory recall. But it picks up. And I am in a homie warm large cottage, that seems like it's at a summer camp or something. Surrounded by people that are there at the camp and they are familiar to me like festival.

There seems to be a kind of war. For the battle between the two sides, one is a red side one is a blue side people are dressed like pirates, but also like festival ware.

I talk to a guy who has multiple large sticks/logs, and one of them looks like a didgeridoo. I ask him if it's a didge and he says, I don't think so but it might be and I ask him if there's a hole in the center. I take it from him and begin to look and notice that the log is larger than I thought it was at an off angle and there is a hollow hole through the center of the trunk, but there are many cobwebs and debris inside of it and I don't feel like putting my mouth on the end to see if it reverberates like a didgeridoo.

At a certain point, there was a female companion with me who felt very warm. We were connected in a way that we knew each other prior to this experience. We spent time alone away from the group, we were inside of almost like a hanging woven wooden egg-shaped chair we sat in together and there was a spell put on the chair so that no one else could see that we were in it even while standing next to us. There was this overarching theme of magic. Like maybe we were magical creatures or we were hanging around magical creatures.

There are some memory gaps and it transitions to me exploring the outside area and there are multiple buildings all connected with a flat black asphalt pathway, that is almost as wide as a road and is very smooth and glossy. To move quickly. I put rocks under my feet and I'm able to slide down the hill very easily almost like I'm ice skating.

I see someone else pass me on the other side of the walkway only they are riding a flat disc-like sled. They look at me laughingly and are curious at what's on my feet as they pass me by going the opposite direction. I go to the far edges of the area and there's an older building that doesn't really seem to be used anymore, but there is a small family out front and I gather that he is making fake bigfoot plasters imprints And they are worried that I will catch them in what they are doing, but I pretend not to notice and ask them questions about the building. They say they will open the doors for me but no one is in there, so I don't really care. I end up walking through one of the glass panes into the building and it's like a science museum child's education center. With cartoonish graphics on the walls amongst other things but it is barren and no one is in there. I walk out and tell them what's the point of having a lock on the door if their windows are open, I continue walking around the campus.

I am suddenly in a theater/arcade area where everything has neon lights. They are low lit like pink neons and green neons and everything feels retro almost like from the 80s. I don't recognize anybody anymore and there are many older games that are being projected on a movie screen in a theater that people are playing. I ask a guy sitting upon a stool playing an old box arcade game what year it is and he says, it's 1980 I say, oh shit I must have time-traveled again. Now realizing that I am stuck in another time. I can't figure out how to get back, so I just wander around and explore the area trying to get to where I came from. Every new opening seems to lead to a new area. None of which looks like the place I was in before.

There's a big open midway. That seems like the opening of a movie theater with many different doorways going in different directions, it almost feels like a science museum. But more like a theater and everything is still retro colored and the people even are dressed in the style that was popular in the eighties.


3/18/20

I am in India
There is a strong current river next to the town I am in there is a long tube wave down the length of it
I befriend a young girl who identifies as a boy but she looks more androgenous
We venture around the markets of the town and they seem quaint and simple, yet familiar
I have one day left in India before I have to travel back and I am trying to figure out where to go to spend it
I have a conversation about which part of India is more Muslim and which is more Indian traditional
We are taken to an Indian temple that hosts pagan rituals
There are several guys in the group who seem like posers to me
They want to be baptized in pigs blood
They are lowered into aquariums full of blood and act super affected by the ritual
While this is happening the temple is lit with a green glow, it is night time
I begin coughing hard and a long bloody hairy mess comes out of my throat
I cough up this bundle of blood and hair and feel incredibly relieved when it is all out, it takes a minute or two to drag it out
I am annoyed at the white guys who paid to have the faux ceremony and gather it is a service the locals provide to tourists who don't know any better

We are at a convenience store and the guys are being rude and rambunctious
I have painstakingly baked a cheesecake from scratch and one of the guys found it and ate it all
I am pissed off because I have to shave
I grab his mouth and press the remaining cake out of his mouth and smear it on my face to shave with
I wipe it off with napkins
We find a snack dispenser that has reusable plastic bags under it of different sizes to our snacks in, I am trying to do the bat conversion to figure out if I have enough money left over to buy some

There is a large overweight man who comes into the store and pushes over a girl in our group
I start hitting him with pipe pieces on the floor and he is shocked
He claims innocence and was just trying to get her attention
He walks back into the kitchen and asks for hours to work, they put him to work


3/20/20

Cooking school under one chef she is female
We are in blue and red teams
She asks me to make chocolate ice cream with thousand island
I spend time walking around looking for the recipe folder
My friend from my last restaurant job is in the crowd and wants to talk about aliens but I am busy trying to put the recipe together
It ends up looking like a hamburger bun with ice cream in the middle
I ask the chef if they are macaroons
She says no that would be cream on cream
we take a field trip to Tel Aviv to sample traditional food
I am excited because it looks very authentic and the restaurant is filled with locals
We file into booths along the wall
There are mostly females and I am one of the few guys
We look at menus and I order a coconut shrimp appetizer but don't remember ordering my main course
The restaurant seems to be meat-based
After we place our orders we are ushered next door to a warm springs spa where we can relax and get massages and general pampering
It is very relaxing and the water feels great
We are all in our bathing suits
After some time we finish as a group and begin to congregate in front of the restaurant next door for our meal
One guy in the group is trying to complain/make a joke that we should all be in our trousers to relax, but he is wearing a long traditional dress and so am I. He says "everyone is wearing their trousers come on", I reply slyly, "Oh really? Everyone huh?" Sarcastically, people giggle at me and the teacher next to me laughs at my observation that he is not in trousers
We sit in new tables this time that are rectangular heavy wooden tables with wooden chairs all around
There are maybe a dozen such large tables in the hall
Just as people around us are getting their food a very large crowd of maybe 50 Muslim men arrive in the open-ended restaurant all cheering clapping and singing
They go from table to table one at a time lifting every chair and table up to shoulder length while chanting a certain prayer or blessing very loudly
When this happens I notice the women lean backward and throw their heads back and the men lean forward and bow over their table
I want to watch but an obese man at the table next to me grabs my neck/head and holds it down during one of the blessings
When they get to our table the food is already on it but we all stand up and let them lift our chairs and table while we stand by and attempt to sing along with the blessing
Once they finish the whole crowd departs as quickly as they arrived singing and clapping getting quieter as they leave the area
The whole experience was energetic and mystical almost otherworldly
We are now sitting at our table looking at the food which has been sat in front of us. I don't remember what main I ordered but I am sure I don't have the right food, other people's meat looks really good but I think I may only have an appetizer
The dream fades as I look around the table at everyone's entree, wondering if this is family-style or if we are only allowed to eat what we ordered.


3/21/20

At a rodeo wearing a long tan coat
There are many people there
A native american girl keeping giving me weird looks
A guy tries to sell me his run-down jeep cherokee for $400
Jake Neely runs around like a wild beast chasing a cow
I have a sniper rifle


3/22/20

Purple electrical storms
5 tornadoes/dust devil's
Eat waffle house to go
At a school after hours hanging with a teacher

A large america festival with thousands of people closely packed in
Run by a company that sells fake underwater experiences using fish tanks and backdrops

At some underground party/festival and hear a band playing in the basement
I see a guy who looks like weird al there is no one downstairs watching
The band sounds awesome like electro-funk and they are wearing costumes like cybertronic spree
Lasers and light effects and smoke, it is an entrancing show
I watch and groove for a while and a couple of people show up and are super surprised that I didn't come specifically to see the band and don't know their names
They both are wearing cybertronic spree t-shirts
they go back to the band manager and tell them I am living in 2015 and don't know anything but that they need promo people and I might be useful

Something about Bin Laden coming down a river in a boat to see me
I have two books I take with me
We sit in the boat, it feels Egyptian
We talk for a while
Afterward, a guy who works for him tells me he is impressed that I talk to girls every day


3/23/20

Going to Wayne's house for shamanic group
There are many people I don't recognize
A lot of them are young
Gin is with me
We watch a pixar movie about a dragon that changes colours
There is a balloon made of glass in the room
The shamanic practices never start
I gather he doesn't practice anymore
His wife left him and he lives alone

I am trying to get to Wayne's house and driving the car through some shopping mall that is also a restaurant
People are shocked I have a car on the walking path
I ask a woman how to get to a certain address she tells me to follow her
She leads me to another woman who starts to get a table for me
I tell her I asked the other woman how to get to the address on this paper I have
She rolls her eyes and walks away
I decide to use my phone and google it
I was close, his house is through a shop at the end of a corridor

I leave Wayne's and walk down the block
I am in Kettering by a large field
I see Jack with his drum and many others showing up for an event
There are maybe a hundred people there
Jack tells me it's drum day, he asks me to move a garbage bin to the edge of the road so the smell doesn't blow into people while we play
I am amazed there are so many people gathered.
I am suddenly upset no one has masks on and everyone is pretending it is like before with no precautions
I decide to go back to Wayne's to tell him about the drum circle
He has no idea but is surprised by the coincidence
He doesn't want to leave the house

There is a cafe in the mall outside his house with a stage
There are many musicians who gather to make music
I have my guitar with me in its soft case but I don't play
One of the musicians has a rattle that is many hands that clap when you shake it
He has some monologue about how making tools to congratulate yourself stunts progress when you self reinforce without external checks
A larger vehicle drives by that he made with dozens of the same rattles automatically shaking and cheers playing through loudspeakers
It's like a mobile cheering and clapping crowd. But no one is clapping
I am missing my guitar and go around the stage looking for it, I see several cases that are the same as mine but have other equipment in it
I realize I left all my stuff in my car
Someone has my possessions in a felt purse they put aside for me
I jokingly ask if I can keep the bag and they say no
I walk back to my car, a child asks me if I am looking for younger people, I say no I'm leaving now, everyone says bye to me

I'm in a classroom that feels like a mix between an art room and a cafeteria
I look at myself in the mirror and I am a younger blonde girl with odd shapes painted on my face like Bowie
I get into a verbal argument with a table of obese african american girls sitting in front of me
They were making fun of someone close to me and I began questioning them and telling them off
One of them got up and started walking towards me
I mock their actions asking them if they were going to hit me because they disagree with me
I am on a roll and they don't know how to respond because everyone around them is astonished they are being told off by a little girl
A bigger girl who looks trans begins to get an attitude with me, I tell her off just the same
People are on my side because I am standing up to horrible people who are known bullies
She eventually gets fed up and walks away
People are happy for me
I make a comment about something big as she walks away because I notice she is a head taller than everyone else
People go ooooooooh and I feel like I have won the day

*NSFW*

Spoiler for NSFW:

I am at Alyssa's house on the front porch
I buzz the door because I know she's home
She comes to the door but doesn't open it
I hear her moaning through the speaker box
I can hear her pleasuring herself and her little squeaks of joy, the sounds of her body
She rubs herself to climax while I stand at the door
She then slowly opens the door and I see she is completely naked
She looks up to me with a sultry wanting lust drunkenness look in her eye
I confirm she is alone in the house by glancing back
I reach down and run my fingers through her slit gathering some of her juices
I bring my hand to my mouth and taste her while she bites her lip watching me
She tastes like sweet nectar
I step into the house, the door shuts behind me as I feel her naked body against me
The dream ends

3/26/20

Road trip south to Florida w family
Get there and realize Gin isn't with us
They say she's not invited and I get angry and yell
It's a white house kinda run down I think it may be my uncle's second home
We stay on the first floor
I go to the basement to explore
It is dark and cavernous like a dungeon
Cody is with me as we venture from room to room
There is water under the floor
There are tons of red jellyfish looking creatures in the water
I Google them on my phone
I slip into the water once but they don't bother me
Cody helps me up
We go into a larger room that has metal bars all around the windows like a prison and a very large almost statue-like dagger/feather hanging diagonally from the ceiling through the room
The whole room is musky and rank with cobwebs all over and vines hanging from the ceiling
My mother's brother shows up and flips on the light switch to the room
The lights flick on and everything looks normal now, flat white walls and tile floors
I am shocked that it looked so crazy before and wonder what the effect is
I pull out my flashlight on my phone and turn the lights to the room off again and shine it
I see now the effect, the light shines through the thin walls and shows the bars in the other side of the windows and such
The large feather dagger hanging from the middle of the room is gone
I try to describe it and mention I have seen it before, I've been here before

I am with a group of friends in a post-apocalyptic scenario
Many people are migrating at once and there is chaos
Large crowds of people walking down the street congregating at certain waypoints to meet with others
At one of the waypoints I see a girl I used to know, only she looks slightly different
I glance at her name tag and it says Elizabeth though I know her IRL name is Savannah
I say loudly, Elizabeth eh? As I walk out of the crowded room with her to my back
She is with one of her friends and calls out to me when we get outside
I go back to her and we talk
She looks different but still familiar, slightly rougher as if life has been tough for her
She mentions she has a place where we can sleep for the night if we need
My friends are very interested because we are nomadic survivors now and will take anything we can get
It skips to the house where she offered us to stay
We are all in one room and there are three beds in it
The sheets are made but it feels like an old person's house
I realize that people have died in these beds and there are towels on the floor at the end of the beds with fluids on them
There is that stale putrid smell in the air
I ask if it's true and she says yes, the place she works at deals with body removal and she gets to use whatever is leftover
I am immediately bothered by the situation
I cannot sleep in a bed that someone just died in
Someone in the room questions me as to my hangups and I tell them
"The fabric of space-time, the literal three-dimensional space is torn or altered by the transition when someone dies. This place is tainted by death"
The person struggles to listen to me and kind of rolls their eyes at me
I don't care and leave

There is a fragment where I am with a large hispanic family
One of them has started a food truck and is catering a party they are having
Everything is free and laid out like a cookout
People have their fill and there is still plenty of leftovers I pick through
Some 7 layer taco dip
Some chips, some tacos, and a tres leches cake with white icing
It all tastes very good but I don't have any utensils and eat with my hands
The icing goes everywhere

I am on some gameshow with several over thieves and criminals
We all take the same tour bus around town
I gather the theme is something about who can steal the most without getting caught
We are given nothing and no help
But everyone must be secretive and no one really talks to each other
At the store, one guy tries to take a large pallet of rolled quarters but is immediately caught by security
I bend over to help and hand the stack of rolled quarters back to the guard
While doing so I skim two rolls of the top with my fingers without anyone noticing
Sweet I am broke and hungry as hell
We are all walking around a grocery store trying to figure out what to buy to eat
Everyone else is looking for packaged processed food
I go to the fruit isle because it is the cheapest and best nutrients for the buck
I buy some lemons and avocado with my change
I go back to the RV we are staying in and make a pitcher of lemonade and eat the avocado
Someone else was caught trying to steal something
I go back out and attempt again
We are by a casino that has large golden letters on a sign
I take one and wrap it in a towel and barely make it back to the RV
It is then revealed to me that I have been caught and the whole show was secretly being filmed about us, not about what we were told
I manage to escape in a bathrobe with my pitcher of lemonade in my hand
I am with someone else who is older and reminds me of my mentor Doug
We steal an armored RV which belongs to the security following the show
They are not pleased and shoot at us as we drive away
We crash through a gas station and stop for some reason
Doug asks me if we want an assistant
There is a younger asian boy who wants to join our adventure
I am appalled because it is dangerous and I don't think we need to have a child involved with this
He asks the kid if he wants to come and he says yes so we let him on board
We drive away speedily while being shot at by the pursuers
The windows and the car are bulletproof
I find an assault rifle loaded in the back, I cock it, take off the safety and proceed to try to shoot back, all the windows are barely cracked but not open really
As one of them starts to drive up close to us on the back right I stick the nozzle of the gun out the crack and shoot out one of their tires
We are on the highway going very fast and they immediately wreck into the sidewall
We lose our pursuers and continue driving along
I begin searching the RV for any supplies
It seems brand new and not stocked at all
I find a mini-fridge and go through it
Nothing but an empty lunch bag in it
But I pull a cover from the back and discover a boatload of cookie dough of various flavors
I hand some off to Doug and the kid
We munch on cookie dough while driving away to freedom, the dream fades


3/28/20

I am in a bigger white house sleeping in a bed with gin and another couple
They are older and the woman looks kind of washed up
I had seen another couple in the house cleaning that looked just like the other couple and the woman told me it's her sister who is now with her ex. He looks like the other guy but they are not related
I gather we own the house now but they still live there as cleaners
They also have kids who are running around
I am not very amused and find the whole thing rather unprofessional

I am suddenly in another house which is like a small studio
There is a guy with a shaved head and hair on the front of his head only and glasses
He is showing a custom washing machine he built which fills itself with a container of soap and starts itself at a tap, he is proud of it
He leaves and his girlfriend begins to give me the tour/introduction
I am in an Airbnb of sorts but it is very small
It is rustic and in the middle of nowhere in the forest
The bed I will be sleeping in is in the same room as their kitchen/laundry room and she tells me she will be coming into the room to do things but she won't bother me
I am fine with the arrangement because there isn't a lot of space
I venture around the land and it is very green
There is a small stream running parallel to the property and there is bright green moss all around the base of the many trees
I see large spiral snail shells in the moss and amazed by their size

I am suddenly in a post-industrial landscape with a large cathedral-like manor that houses an orphanage or church I am unsure
I was once part of the community but now gather things have changed and I am different
They have a prophecy of a dark one I may be fulfilling
I begin flying around the many rooms in circles high in the air
I am dressed as Santa Claus
I continually shout Merry Christmas as I fly by people
The kids all point and laugh but the adults are cautious and lead them away
I feel several loose spiral shells in my mouth and spit them out to look
My hands and face have gone dark
I am eating a slushy from a paper pack and slow down by an adult, they take the trash from me
They make a comment I am acting like a child now and laugh though most of them still fear me

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Spending some vacations abroad, staying at a hostel. The room is pretty basic and has a futon on the floor. I am undressing and snuggling in the sheets and I slightly touch myself, not even a big deal. But the manager barges in my room, yelling that I can't masturbate in this hostel and I have to leave now. Then he goes around the corridor, where all other guests at at their doors with curiosity, shaming me saying he has video and photos of it and I am like "how?". And then notice there is a camera in the ceiling in front of the bed, as if it was ok to film guests undressing and all. I refuse to g«be embarrassed and I confront him with his brutal violation of the guests privacy. Now, all the guests are looking at him like "she has a point". I admit what I did and that there is nothing wrong because I was alone in my room and he is the creep who is watching people in their rooms. In the end he does not kick me out, even brings in workers to attend all my needs and allows me to stay for as long as I want and I demand he shows me and deletes the tape. But I don't want to stay anymore. I actually saw the guy getting an erection while I confronted him, so he is nuts, but I need to stay one more night at least.
Then I meet some friends at a sightseeing point, just outside the hostel and I am totally amazed how the landscape is a perfect mix of the view from my mom's house to my hometown and some totally different town somewhere in Eastern Europe with gothic bridges, palaces and gothic churches. The superposition is so perfectly done that I marvel at my own brain capacity to come up with such brilliant construction. I am half-lucid at this point. Then there is some heavy rain and flooding and I lose all lucidity and wake up.